Darkness' Love
by Ryo Oh Ki7
Summary: Sharein encounters something in the forest. The forest she was told to never enter. The forest that nobody entered. Femslash / Lesbian themes.
1. Prologue

Darkness' Love

By N. A Burnham

Prologue

"Wake up! Wake up!" cried the voice, it had to be my youngest sister Kara. I steadfastly refused to open my eyes. I didn't know why she insisted on being the first to wake every single morning, nor why she insisted upon waking me up straight after. Hopefully it wouldn't be long before she grew out of it and slept in like her sister Illia. Sure, I was always the one to put her back to bed when she woke from a nightmare in the middle of the night (or for any other reason for that matter.) Mother and Father were both thankful that they weren't the ones that had to deal with it once Mother was no longer breastfeeding her. Of course, all of us girls shared a room, just as our brothers all shared a room next to us. It was easier for Kara to wake me, than to wake Mother and Father.

"Kara," I mumbled, trying to spit out the few strands of hair stuck in my mouth.

"Wake up!" Was the only response I received.

"Kara!" I murmured louder.

"Wake up!" She began shaking me.

"Kara!" I said sternly, trying not to wake Illith my other younger sister.

"Yes Shar?" Kara asked meekly.

"Is the sun up, or is it still dark?" There was silence for a moment before I heard the sound of the shutters being opened slightly. Soft footsteps returned to my bedside.

"The sun's not up, but it's not dark," it took a moment for me to think about this.

"Is Luna out?" I asked, thinking that it must be a full moon.

"Uh huh. She's _real_ big," Kara replied, likely nodding at least four or five times.

I opened my eyes a sliver. Kara was standing in front of me, sucking on her fingers, her stuffed doll clutched to her chest with her other hand. I could see her quite clearly because the light coming through the window, where Kara hadn't closed the shutters, was almost as bright as daylight. I pulled my blankets back and climbed out of bed. I opened the shutters a little more and could see clear out to the forest, it was that light.

"Quickly, wake Illith," I instructed Kara, and as she proceeded to jump on her older sister, I made my way quickly into Mother and Father's room. I debated whether to wake them, but decided that their standing instructions not to be woken unless there was a fire, bandits, monsters or flood still stood. In any case, Mother had already instructed me on what to do the last time this happened. I collected the things I needed as I made my way back into my room to collect my sisters.

"Put your night coats on over your nightgowns and follow me," I instructed them.

They did as I asked and we were soon out in the yard near the back door of our house. I dumped the things that I needed and instructed my sisters to wait as I went back inside. I stirred up the coals in the fire and lit a taper. This I used to light a candle to carry outside. Once I had returned to my sisters I placed the candle on the ground and instructed them to sit around it.

"This happened once a few years ago. Mother and I did this ritual to appease Luna. Remember how it goes because you might need to do it again some time in the future," my sisters nodded to me solemnly.

I picked up the candle, "once I've said the words, I'll pass the candle to you and you need to say the words, then pass the candle to Illith and she'll say them. Then we do the same with the water and with the mirror," I instructed Kara, "understand?"

Kara noded, "Uh huh."

"Sister Luna, light above. We are the light, our light shines as brightly as this candle."

I passed the candle to Kara and she repeated word for word the ritual. Once Illith had done likewise, I picked up the jug.

"Sister Luna, light above. We are pure, just as this water is pure." I poured a little water on the ground in front of me before passing the jug to Kara. Kara and Illith performed the ritual in turn and I picked up the mirror.

"Sister Luna, light above. You are searching Mithras, scouring. I send your light back to show you that your work is done."

Kara and Illith followed and as Illith finished a wind picked up, blowing out the candle in front of us. The moonlight grew duller and darkness descended upon us. Kara and Illith looked around, eyes wide and mouths hanging wide open.

"Sometimes, Luna searches extra hard for the darkness but if she searches too hard, too brightly then she might burn out. If Luna burns out then we will have no light at night time, nothing but darkness." I told the girls, the same words that Mother said to me years earlier. They both nodded their understanding. I gathered the things and we all headed back inside.

I put the jug back onto the kitchen table and the candle on the mantelpiece. I headed towards Mother and Father's room to put away Mother's mirror as Kara and Illith went back into our bedroom.

"Oh. Sisters?" I said, and they both looked to me. "What do we say to Father Mattias about this?"

"Absolutely nothing," they both said simultaneously.

I nodded to them with satisfaction, "Good girls. Back to sleep now."


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

19th Day of Early Winter 768 n.c.

I watched the butterflies flutter around in a complex dance through the kitchen window. It was still cold outside, and the days were still getting shorter but the Winter's Heart butterflies were always out and about this time of year. They were named after the flower that their arrival heralded, my most favourite flower. First came the Winter's Heart butterflies during the first tenday of Early Winter, with their ice blue streaks on white wings, then came the Winter's Heart flowers breaking through the ground at the same time. Then, the day after the Long Night the flowers would bloom. White flowers with ice blue streaks, just like the butterflies wings. Their smell was very sharp and a well known remedy for the blocked noses that always seemed to come around at that time of year. Beyond them, I could see my father and younger brothers tilling the fields, getting them ready to plant a crop of barley. The ground was hard and almost frozen, it was a difficult time to do the chore, but the ground needed to be ready for the seeds to be planted the day before the Long Night as tradition dictated. My Father was walking behind the horse drawn plow, reins in hand. Jocam, at 11 was assisting my father with the plow while Jara and Daavid were running around in the field playing at sword fighting and generally trying (often unsuccessfully) to stay out of the way of the horse. Their shouts were loud and were the only sound to find its way into the house from outside. I allowed my mind to wander even as I kept my hands busy peeling vegetables. The noise of the kitchen around me faded, my mother cutting the meat and my two younger sisters trying to beat each other out the door to pick the herbs. Everything grew dark and fuzzy, as if the afternoon sun had set. Out past the fields, the forest grew sharp and clear. A light grew out from the deep dark, rising and sending the shadows of tree trunks arching out and down towards our farmhouse like thousands of dark shadowy arms stretching towards me. I stood, transfixed in my own mind. The light grew blinding, like a miniature sun shining in the forest until it began to change. Slowly darkness formed in the middle of the light, a line splitting the sun in half. No, the shadow of a person standing in front of the light. The sun and the person got bigger in my vision, as If I had used Papa's telescope to look at it. The figure became clearer, less fuzzy and the light seemed to dim. It appeared female, her curves, long hair and the shape of a dress were obvious. I couldn't make out any details, everything about her was pitch black. She stood straight, arms at her sides. It felt like an eternity, just standing there looking at this woman in the forest, before sound slowly began to register again.

"Sharein… Sharein… Sharein." came a voice. There was a short delay before "Shar!", my mother shouted.

Colour returned to the world as I was sucked back into my body and my vision returned to normal. I turned my head towards my mother.

"Girl, I've been calling you for an age!" My mother exclaimed pointing down at my hands with her knife, "You've cut yourself."

I looked down at my hands. The potato I was peeling was bright red with the blood that was pouring from my thumb. A large gash rent through the entire length of it and right down to my wrist, deep inside I could see the white of bone near my knuckle. I dropped the potato and knife as pain suddenly blossomed in my hand, as if the cut hadn't actually occurred until the moment I saw it for myself.

"How bad?" my mother asked and I looked up at her, ashen faced. She had moved from her bench to stand right beside me and I hadn't even noticed. "Hold it tight." she said as she rushed off. I nodded at her retreating form.

She was back quickly with a bottle of Papa's rum, a piece of leather and a sewing needle and thread. I knew what was coming. Mama had told me to fetch those exact things the time my youngest brother Jera cut his leg on the plowshare. I had helped mum to hold him down. There was nobody here to hold me down. Mama uncorked the bottle with her mouth, spitting the cork onto the table next to my vegetable scraps.

"Hold out your hand." she said, and I held it out over the table. She poured some of the rum onto my hand and I had never ever felt a pain worse. While I was trying to cope with the newly increased agony she held the bottle up to my lips and tipped it up.

"Drink." she said simply.

I took a small sip like I did every year at Long Night when Papa would hand the bottle to each of us kids.

"A sip of warmth to get you through the coldest night." he would say. We would always answer with "All hail the light.", once we finished coughing.

Mama took a look at my hand, then looked me in the eyes.

"No love." she said, kindly but firmly, "Drink it all."

Eyes wide, I gave her a nod of understanding. I allowed the warm liquid to go down, swallowing, swallowing, pausing once to get my breath. My belly filled up with warmth and my throat burned all the way down.

"It will take too long to work, love," Mama said, "So I'm going to have to get started straight away. Put the leather in your mouth and bite down hard. I opened my mouth so that she could put the leather strap in there and nodded to her, holding my hand out straight. Arm slightly shaking at the anticipation of the pain to come.

I felt it all, for only a few moments. When the needle pierced my flesh, when the piece of thread pulled through the hole, when mama pulled it tight to join the two pieces of flesh. The pain was unbearable, so did the only thing I could, even though I didn't know that I could. I took myself away, so that I didn't have to bear it. I looked out the window, towards the forest and once again everything around me went dark. I must have spent only a few minutes looking out at the woman in the forest, but again it felt like an eternity.

When all the colour returned, and I could move again, I turned my head to see Mama looking at me with with an expression I had never seen before. She wasn't saying anything, just looking at me. A noise from the other direction drew my attention and I saw Illith and Kara, my two little sisters sitting on the bench staring at me, open mouthed the bunch of Wintermint forgotten next to them. Confused, I looked back to my mother.

"You stopped bleeding Shar. You stopped bleeding and the strap fell out of your mouth and you weren't screaming or crying or anything. You weren't anything Shar." Mama said in a hurry, the words spilling out of her mouth. "You were just staring out there. Smiling. I thought… I thought."

I looked down at my thumb as Mama broke into tears, stitches went all the way up joining my flesh back together. A dull ache returned the moment I saw it, similar but different to when I first noticed the injury. It was muted somehow. I reached out to touch her on the back, to bring her close and hold her.

"It's okay Mama, It's okay." I said " _I'm okay."_ I heard my sisters hop down from the bench. I felt one attach herself to my leg to give me a hug and I knew that the other would be doing the same to Mama. We all cried together. The warmth of our group hug crept up on me and when the hug broke apart Mother drew attention to my flushed cheeks.

"You'd better hop into bed Sharein. You've just drunk more liquor in one moment than I ever had in one sitting and your father too." Mother said, "You'll have a headache in the morning, but it might take your attention away from your hand.

I did as instructed, protesting a little on the way that I'd be leaving mother all alone to cook dinner. Mother laughed at me, asking me "How do you think I cooked dinner before you came along?" I had never thought about that. The rest of the trip to bed was spent pondering that revelation. When Mama tucked me in, I asked her why there was two of her, but she just laughed and kissed me on the forehead in lieu of an answer.

I woke up the next morning from an odd dream, I was standing naked in the middle of a forest in the dark dancing in the moonlight. Between each of the trees in the clearing hung a bobbing Wil'o'whisp, a creature that legends say are the Servants of Luna the Moon Goddess. Although strictly speaking it went against the teachings of the Church, father always taught us that they were trickster spirits who could just as easily give you a path out of a dark place as to give you a path into one. I stopped dancing once I realised that I was not alone. A woman was standing suddenly next to me, as naked as I was. She was a bit taller than me, with long black hair just like mine and a slim figure. Her breasts were smallish and pert, and she had a thatch of black soft hair between her legs. I felt inadequate in comparison to her beauty. I was short for my age and just as slim as her, without hair down there and my own breasts were only starting to develop. Her skin was pale, her eyes were the striking icy blue of a Winters Heart. Her face was free of wrinkles or lines, appearing to be only a few years older than me. She was beautiful, she was perfect. She held her hands out to me and I took them, and together we danced in the clearing. Around and around, and never once did her eyes leave mine.

Waking drew me from this dream into a pounding headache and an equally painful throbbing in my hand, which made me discard any internal ponderings over the meaning of my dream. My mouth was dry and my stomach was churning. I felt terrible. I sat up okay, but when I tried to lift myself up I had to adjust a bit to compensate for an arm that was almost useless. My hand was an angry red and purple colour around the cut and stitches. I looked across to my sisters' empty beds and realised that I had slept in as I was usually awake before them. I stumbled outside to the outhouse and sat down to relieve myself. No sooner had I finished that I had to turn around empty my stomach into the hole as well. I hated being sick, and being sick and in pain was twice as bad. I checked the bath house next to the outhouse, a similar structure in size where we could clean ourselves off and was grateful to see that someone had drawn a bucket of water from the well already. I didn't want to wait for water to warm up over the fire for a proper bath, that I probably wouldn't be able to carry anyway. I wanted to wash off the strange smelling sweat and the blood on my hand. I took off the nightgown that I couldn't remember changing into and prepared myself mentally for the shock. It was the last tenday of Early Winter and whilst it wasn't as cold as it was going to get, it was close. The water washed over me, immediately chilling me to the bone. Goosebumps popped up all over and I shivered involuntarily. I picked up the bar of soap from the wooden shelf next to me and scrubbed myself down as well as I could, then used the remainder of the water to wash off the soap. Quickly I put back on my nightgown and hurried back into the warmth of the house. Crouching down in front of the roaring fire, I let the warmth flow over me, drying my wet nightgown. I had to rotate around and adjust my position a few times to make sure I, and my hair dried properly. I heard the front door open and close and watched my mother come into the kitchen as I sat myself down at the kitchen table.

"How is your hand?" She asked, as she sat down opposite me.

"Sore," I replied, looking down at the offending part. The throbbing had abated while I washed in the cold water, but had returned upon reheating.

"How is your head?" She followed with a small smile.

I frowned and attempted to muster my most pitiful look, "I'm not sure which is hurting more."

She stood up and enveloped me in a hug, a hug that almost made me forget the pain. She rubbed my back twice and stepped back, one hand coming up to cup the side of my face.

"My poor darling." She sympathised, "There's a pot of broth that's still warm and some fresh bread and butter. You'll feel a bit better with some food in your tummy."

She busied herself getting the food ready for me, and a I realised with a start that my sisters weren't nearby.

"Where are Illith and Kara?" I asked Mama.

She smiled over her shoulder at me, "Your father took all the rest of the kids out early to give you a rest. He'll stop in at Torvin's Store for some seeds. We have barley from the last harvest, but he thought that he might try some long-grain this year as well. Once you're ready we'll travel in to church with the Meadowbroek's to meet up with them."

Being a tenday, this meant that we would have to make the journey into Easthaven to go to church. This happened every tenday, unless you were really sick or injured. We usually travelled in with my friend Mari's family (theirs being the nearest farm to us) and I couldn't wait to talk to her. Whilst I was a bit wary of disclosing what had happened the previous day with my vision, I really wanted to go out and look into the forest with her, look for the woman I kept seeing in the light. Although the two incidents were a bit disconcerting, the feeling I had when I saw her was indescribable. I felt warm and safe, but anxious and apprehensive all at the same time. The forest was forbidden, nobody entered it. Father Marin, claimed that it was the home of a 'great evil', darkness so foul that the light couldn't scour it away. I thought that I might be able to convince Mari though, if I put it to her the right way.

Mama brought the broth and buttered bread over to me on a wooden serving board and I thanked her as she sat down to watch me eat.

The broth was thin, but delicious, the bread though sat very heavily in my empty stomach.

"You will need to be very careful with that hand." Mama said, "When we get into town I'll ask Sister Tera to take a look at it."

I nodded in agreement and flexed my hand a little, wincing at the increase in pain.

"I'll talk to Father Mattias about yesterday as well." she added a bit softer, looking at me with concern.

"Yes Mother."

Once I had finished, Mama took the serving board away and urged me to go and get ready, "They will be here shortly."

I thanked Mama again and went into my room to get changed. Church meant getting dressed up, so once I had swapped my nightgown for my better dress I spent a few minutes brushing the knots out of my long black hair. Once done, I tied it back with a piece of green ribbon mother gave me last Name Day. I was reminded with a start how close it was to our next.

Name Day was coming up in a tenday from tomorrow, the first day of Deep Winter, the day when everyone became a year older. It would be my thirteenth Name Day. I would be old enough to be away from my mother by myself and I couldn't wait. Mari had her thirteenth name day last year, so I had seen a lot more of her in the past year than previously. While she could come over to visit me I wasn't able to visit her unless Mother went to visit also, but that meant bringing my two little sisters as well. What a pain! But once I'd had my thirteenth Name Day, I'd be able to go and visit her, or go anywhere by myself without getting into trouble. Of course, it probably wouldn't be for long. Not long after name-day comes the long night where all the single boys and girls older than fourteen would spend the night dancing.

It's only once you attend your first long night dance that you are able to 'walk out' with with a boy. Mama loves to repeat the story about how she met a seventeen year old Papa at her first long night dance and they were tied together a year later. A year after that, I was born.

Mari will probably walk out with a boy at her first, it's all she's been talking about this year. As much as I know it will probably happen, I can't help but wish that she'd never find a boy to walk out with. It's been fantastic having her around here the past year. I've still had to help mum do the cleaning and dishes, but I was able to head out into the hills with Mari in between. We'd go for long walks on the outskirts of the forest (it was too dangerous to go into the forest, but if we stayed in sight of the house it was okay). We would talk about what we wanted to do once we were grown up. Mari would talk endlessly about boys and I would talk about going out to see the world. I wanted to explore or travel, I was sick of hearing news of the world from the merchant caravans, I wanted to see it all.

Once I was presentable, I went back out to the kitchen to help Mama move the screen in front of the fireplace. It was a bulky metal thing that was designed to prevent logs from rolling out and setting fire to the house. As we would be having to make the journey into Easthaven, in Winter, we needed a roaring fire before we left. Once done, we headed out to the stable to get Aloise horse ready for riding. Aloise Horse was a bit of a joke in our family and neighbours, we got both a stallion and a mare a few years ago when I was about six. Papa had told me that he intended to breed them and I had just learned what Mama and Papa's names were… So when they asked me what I wanted to call them, I proudly decreed that they would be named Jared and Aloise. Papa laughed the loudest I think I had ever heard him laugh and told me that people might get a bit confused if both Papa and Mama and the horses shared names.

"Nah uh.", I am told I replied, "That's what surnames are for! Jared Horse and Aloise Horse."

I could not be dissuaded and thus we were now saddling up Aloise horse for the ride into town. We rode out to the farm gate, me in front holding the reigns and Mama behind me and waited for the Meadowbroeks to come into sight.

We weren't waiting long before their cart rose over the hill, we waited patiently for them to make their way up to us. Master and Missus Meadowbroek were about the same age as Mother and Father, but they only had three children. Mari was the eldest with twin boys Darl and Jarl born at the same time Mother had Kara and Jara. It was a year for twins that year, with three other Easthaven families also sharing in the boon. I remember Sister Tera's look of surprise when Mother gave birth to our two as Mother was the second to have twins. Then came the Meadowbroeks and three others near the same time. Father Mattias called it a blessing from the Earth Mother in a sermon. He didn't have to help look after two screaming babes at the same time though.

Once they arrived, Mother hopped down off Aloise horse and swapped over with Mari. We had been trusted to ride together for the past few years, which allowed both us a chance for some private discussion and Mother and Missus Meadowbroek a chance to gossip before reaching town.

Mari was wearing her good blue dress and had a matching blue ribbon tying back her wheat coloured hair. I held out my hand to help her up into the saddle behind me and couldn't resist a slight shiver as she wrapped her arms around me.

"You'll never guess who made eyes at me yestereve." she whispered in my ear in excitement, as we started along the road towards Easthaven, following the cart at a close but private distance. "I shall tell you, for you will never guess. Tomas, the blacksmith's son."

"Tomas?" I questioned, a little shocked "He's eighteen isn't he? And hasn't he been walking out with Brahdi the baker's daughter?"

"Seventeen, eighteen this Name Day." she answered, "And I heard from Beka the other day that Brahdi had been making calf eyes at Hester. He was around with his father to help shoe the horses and hit himself on the thumb with his hammer because he couldn't take his eyes off me!"

I gasped, showing Mari my hand "Poor Tomas, he must be in such pain."

"Oh my gosh! What have you done to yourself?"

"I cut my hand last eve peeling a potato. Mother had to stitch me up, after I drank the whole bottle of Papa's rum."

"You poor thing!" Mari exclaimed, hugging me tighter. "However did you cut yourself that badly?"

With a flash, I remembered the woman in the light and the woman from my dream.

"It was the strangest thing Mari." I began, "I was peeling the vegetables and everything went dark. Dark except for a light from the forest, and inside the light was a woman. I could see her clear as anything as if she were standing right in front of me. Next thing I knew, Mama was calling me and I had cut myself."

"How peculiar." Mari whispered.

"That's not the strangest part." I followed, "When Mama was stitching me up it hurt something fierce. I looked back out into the forest and it happened again. And then Mama had finished sewing up my hand and she said that I had stopped bleeding."

"A blessing from the Earth Mother?" Mari asked.

"Mother said that she will be asking Father Mattias, but you know how he is with Mithras' gifts."

"Oh yes." Mari agreed. Father Mattias loved to find any excuse to declare something as a blessing of the Earth Mother. She lowered her voice in imitation "The fruit trees have blossomed, it's a blessing of Mithras."

"The sun is shining! It's a blessing of Mithras!" I added in a similar fashion although slightly too loudly, for mother turned around to give me a glare.

We both commenced a fit of giggles that lasted most of the way into town. The rest of our travel was taken up by Mari's gossiping about the town girls and boys. The Easthaven community was mostly divided into 'townies' and 'farmers', with roughly an even population. Thirty two families made Easthaven town home and about thirty families regularly travelled into Easthaven for church every tenday.

We crested South Hill and the town of Easthaven spread out before us.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

20th Day of Early Winter 768 n.c.

Easthaven was situated in a valley on either side of North River. Wooden houses with thatched roofs, they all looked very similar except for the doors, painted different colours to distinguish their owners. We past some farms first, there were five in the valley all at the south side of town on either side of the river. The first main building we came to was the Pig and Wheelbarrow Inn, a great double story building with a painted sign hanging over the door. It must have been recently repainted, for the pink pig wearing a yellow waistcoat sitting in a wheelbarrow fairly gleamed in the sunlight. Missus Rose was sweeping the dust out of the common room into the street and we greeted her as we passed. Mari and I got back to talking as we passed the rest of the houses and shops lining the road towards the centre of town.

"I want to go off and explore the forest, next time you come to visit." I suggested to Mari.

"Oh no!" Mari exclaimed, "You know that we mustn't go in there. Father wouldn't even go in there to look for one of our lost sheep. Wolves and worse!"

"Live a little Mari." I admonished, "It's just a forest, there is nothing dangerous in there. Have you ever seen a wolf near the edge of the forest?"

"No", she hugged me a little closer, "But I heard them once last year. Their howls fair set my hair on edge. On and on they went, Papa even went out with a pitchfork just in case they came after the new lambs."

"But during the day?" I suggested, hopefully.

"No Sharein." Mari responded, "No. No. No. I shan't be going into the forest, and you'd best not either. Once we pass Name Day at least."

I let the issue rest, as I knew that there would be no convincing Mari. I half heartedly agreed not to go in there, but we both knew I would be. Once we passed Name Day at least.

We dismounted in the common's paddock, a fenced off meadow next to the grassy area often used for celebrations. It was the place that the farming families would leave their horses whenever they came into town. We let Aloise horse go and went over to the cart to help Darl and Jarl down. Master Meadowbroek unhitched their horse and we all made our way across Westbridge towards the church.

The church was a large stone building, imposing, it looked more like some sort of fortress than a place to celebrate the Earth Mother. Why did they insist on holding service there, instead of out in nature surrounded by the Earth Mother's creations? It was big, bigger than any other building I had ever seen. It had to be, of course, to fit in everyone from in and around Easthaven.

Us farmers were always the first ones to arrive, coming from a greater distance. The townies would often only leave their houses when they heard the church bells ring. Sister Tera and Father Mattias were standing in front of the Church door greeting the Coormans. Mother indicated to Sister Tera that she wanted to talk to her as we approached. Sister Tera said something to Missus Coorman and met us a short distance away.

"Missus Askilain, Miss Askilain, how good it is to see both of you. Blessings of the light upon you." She greeted as she always did.

"All hail the light." we responded, as we always did.

Sister Tera was a priestess of the Earth Mother and looked after the physical wellbeing of the people just as Father Mattias looked after their spiritual wellbeing. I remember Father Mattias teaching us that all towns that had a Church to Mithras had both a Brother or Sister and a Father or Mother to look after the physical and spiritual wellbeing of the town respectively. Every tenday sermon was followed by a lesson with Sister Tera. Sometimes the lesson would be on reading, sometimes about the world around us. Mostly it focussed on the Kingdom of Carn, but we heard about the Elves, Dwarves and other races as well. These were my favourite lessons. I'd love to meet an Elf, but as far as I know none had ever visited Easthaven. The adults sat listening to the rest of Father Mattias' sermon while we did this. I usually felt sorry for them.

Sister Tera was a bit older than Mother, but nowhere near as old as Father Mattias. She always wore the brown robes of a Priestess of Mithras and _always_ had her brown hair up in a bun. Even when she rushes out to a midnight birth, her hair will be up. It wouldn't surprise me if she slept with it like that. She was always smiling, and loved talking to and playing with the younger kids. Although I thought that she often looked a little sad when she did. She was always calm, and serene. Even in the middle of a birth gone wrong, or the most stressful of situations. She could fix almost anything with "The things Mithras provides", but for anything else she could call upon Mithras' powers. She knew with a glance that was the reason for Mother wanting to talk to her, looking straight away at my hand. She reached out towards me, and I lifted my arm to show her. I winced slightly as she took hold of my limb to look at it.

"Oh my." she exclaimed, louder than I had ever heard her speak. Looking to my mother with a questioning look "You stitched this?"

"Yes Sister." My mother answered looking a bit worried, "I hope I did nothing wrong, I didn't know what to do."

"Oh no, Missus Askilain, finer stitches I have not seen even in the Healers College in Castlemere." Sister Tera reached out to touch Mother's arm in comfort. "However did this happen?"

Mother, relieved, looked to me and I explained simply "I cut it when peeling vegetables."

"Well, I'll have to get these stitches out I'm afraid, before I can do anything else. It will be a bit painful, but we'll have you better in no time." She said with a smile, gesturing for us to follow her into her into the Church.

Inside the entry, we took a door on the left that led to the Sisters rooms. She had a workroom first, then a room with a few beds for those that needed care and watching. Thankfully nobody was in there at present. Beyond the hospital room were her private chambers. The workroom had a large table with a stone top and a few chairs. Bunches of herbs hung from the ceiling and a whole wall was taken up by shelves of ceramic jars filled with herbs, powders and ointments.

"Have a seat and put your arm up on the bench." she instructed, whilst fetching a rag and a pair of scissors.

The process of cutting out the stitches was indeed painful, but nothing like the experience last night. The wound opened up and started bleeding again.

"Good, good." she murmured to herself, dabbing up the blood with the rag. "Just a few more moments and it will all be over."

I had witnessed the miracles performed by the priests on a couple of previous occasions, when Jera cut his leg it was healed by the prayers of the previous Sister Ana. I had never had them performed on me before though.

Sister Tera whispered a prayer to Mithras, the pain distracted me enough that I didn't pay attention to the words, and the palms of her hands lit up with a soft golden glow. These she placed over my hand and I felt a cold shiver run through my body, starting in my hand and spreading all out and right down to my toes. It wasn't painful at all, just a slightly uncomfortable feeling, like I imagined something out of the ordinary should feel. The glow ceased after a moment and she withdrew her hands. Sister Tera tsked and let out a quiet hmmmm, her brows creased in consternation.

I looked down at my hand and could see a long white line, as if my wound had scarred with all of the discolouration but none of the creased line one would expect.

"What's wrong?" Mother asked, her worry evident.

"It's okay, Mithras has healed the wound." Sister Tera explained, "But usually there would be no evidence. If the wound were cursed, or affected by magic it might heal with a scar or not at all. I have never seen a wound heal in between like this. It is no matter, though, the wound is healed."

"All hail the light." mother exclaimed, and I followed.

"Something strange happened when I stitched the wound." Mother began, "Something happened to Sharein."

"What happened?" the Sister asked.

"I could see the hurt, I had her drink a good portion of Rum first." Mother explained, "But just after I started, her face went blank. Empty. She didn't wince, didn't scream. She didn't do anything. The wound even stopped bleeding."

Sister Tera was listening intently to Mother up until she mentioned the bleeding stopping, then she looked straight at me. She wasn't smiling, I felt her studying me intently. Finally she spoke, "Sharein, has anything like this happened to you before?"

I grimaced, "When I cut my hand. I was standing at the bench peeling the vegetables and I felt everything… disappear." I baulked at telling her about the figure in the forest. Something told me that the Priestess might misinterpret it, or I might get into trouble for seeing her.

Sister Tera nodded and sat down, gesturing for us to do the same, "There are spells that wizards can cast that can do something similar, but it can happen without magic also. I've once seen a person in the College do something similar. It was a young man who had troubles with part of his intestines becoming inflamed. The best thing to do was to remove the part, quickly. They do a lot of this 'surgery' in the College and I am trained to do some of it but it is a specialised field and not suited to a town Priestess such as me. This young man put himself into a state such as you mentioned, he had explained that he could do it whenever he wanted to. The Priests were skeptical, but he demonstrated for us. We pricked his finger, and no blood came out, until he came out of that state. When the 'surgery' was performed, they did it without any of the usual herbs to dull pain or put someone into a sleep. No blood from the wound."

"What happened to him?" Mother asked, noting a hint of sadness or regret that had crept into the Sister's words near the end.

"Oh." Sister Tera smiled, "The 'surgery' went perfectly. Healed up in record time without Mithras' interventions even. Then he was run over by a horse on the way home. The College would love to get their hands on a similar case to study them, but never worry, I shan't tell them about you. Nobody would like to spend their time being poked and prodded all day long by those old Priests."

We were interrupted by the church bells ringing, indicating that the sermon would be beginning soon. We all stood up and Sister Tera came over to give me a hug and a kiss on the forehead. "Just promise that you will let me know if it happens again, yes?"

"Yes Sister, of course I will." I promised.

The main hall of the church was full, very few had stayed home today. Father, my brothers and sisters had caught up to us and we were all seated next to the Meadowbroeks, taking up an entire aisle. Mari was correct earlier, Tomas was definitely interested in her. I could tell this because he was sitting two aisles ahead of us and kept turning around to glance at Mari. I glared at him until I noticed the looks Mari was giving him in return. They were smiling at each other like fools.

The priest began his sermon and I sat to listen to the same story I had already heard hundreds of times before. Father Mattias repeated the same sermons over and over, once even doing the same one two tendays running!

"First, there was Mithras, the Earth Mother. From the mother sprung forth all of the animals and plants. But the animals and plants struggled in the darkness. For in the darkness lived evil and hate and death. Man cried out to the Earth Mother, and hearing man's pleas, Celestine was born. Celestine, the light above, banished the darkness and allowed life to flourish. But the darkness was not to be stopped so easily! It hid itself inside Mithras, in caves and crevasses, in the lost places. It could not abide the light of Celestine, but Celestine could not be everywhere at once. Once Celestine passed, the darkness rose up out of the lost places and took back over Mithras. Man cried out to the Earth Mother and she assured us, that even as Celestine leaves, she will return to banish the darkness. All hail the light."

"All hail the light" the congregation repeated.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

20th Day of Early Winter 768 n.c.

I headed out of the main Church hall, herding my brothers and sisters before me, into the classroom attached to the side of the building. It was a bare room, with a slate board up the front for Sister Tera to write upon. Mari was left behind, having had her thirteenth name day, she now had to sit through further sermons and lectures from Father Mattias. Sister Tera taught us almost everything; from reading and writing, history and geography to numbers and the human body (For those especially interested, she taught the rudiments of healing as well). As one of the oldest in the room, it was my job to assist with and help the younger ones.

Sister Tera stood at the front of the room and waited patiently for everyone to sit down cross-legged on the floor. We all quieted down quickly, anxious for her to begin teaching. It was everybody's favourite part of the tenday and nobody wanted to disappoint Sister Tera by being rude.

"Today's lesson is on both our currency, the coins of the realm and on the realm itself." Sister Tera began, passing coins around the room. The coins circulated, each child taking a look and passing it onto the next.

"We have Platinum Crowns, Gold Suns, Silver Moons and Copper Bits." she continued.

I had seen my fair share of copper and silver and had on a few occasions seen some gold coins when Father had been paid for his grains. You very rarely saw a Platinum Crown. It had a large crown on one side.

"The platinum that makes up the Platinum Crowns is a very expensive metal and as such the Platinum Crown is worth five Gold Suns. The crown on the coin is a picture of the Royal Carnian crown, worn by King Herrod Carn the second. The other side has a portrait of the King." The Sister lectured, continuing to admonish a child, "Bill, keep passing the coins around please."

"Who has the Gold Sun?" She asked and my sister Illith tentatively raised it up in her hand.

"I do, Sister!" she exclaimed, then shrank a little when everyone turned to look at her. I put my hand on her shoulder to give her comfort as she got a little shy sometimes. Completely unlike my sister Kara who would happily run up and introduce herself to a stranger, not that we had many strangers visit Easthaven.

"The Gold Sun has a picture of a Sun on one side and also has a portrait of the King on the other side. Remember that five Gold Suns make a Platinum Crown. One Gold Sun is worth ten Silver Moons."

"I've got the Moon Sister!" shouted Wit, the Bakers youngest son, a young excitable boy who always seemed to have a never ending supply of energy.

Sister Tera smiled at him, "Thank you Wit. The Silver Moon has a picture of a crescent moon on one side and again has the portrait of the King on the other side. Ten Silver Moons make one Gold Sun. Five Gold Suns make one Platinum Crown. One Silver Moon is worth twenty Copper Bits. Who has the copper bit?"

I had just been tapped on my elbow by little straw haired Sara Blanchfield to be handed the Copper Bit, so I raised my hand and said "Me, Sister."

"Thank you Sharein. Can you tell me what pictures are on the Copper Bit?" she asked.

I didn't need to examine the coin at all, I had seen enough of them to know the answer, but I showed the coin around to everyone in the room, spinning it around in my fingers so that they could see both sides.

"There are no pictures on the Copper Bit at all Sister, the Copper Bits are blank on both sides." I said loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Thank you Sharein." Sister Tera acknowledged, "Twenty Copper Bits make a Silver Moon, ten Silver Moons make a Gold Sun, five Gold Suns make a Platinum Crown. These are the coins of the Kingdom of Carn."

With that, Sister Tera pulled out a familiar rolled up piece of cloth attached to a long wooden pole. My heart beat a little quicker in anticipation. She hung it up above the slate board and let it unfurl slowly. It was a map of Mithras. I loved to look at all the places on the map. Although worn in places, it had once been lovingly and painstakingly copied and showed an outline of the continent, with mountains, and forests, and places all drawn in different colours.

"Other countries and places have their own coins, which you will sometimes see." Sister Tera instructed, "Their coins are also worth different amounts. Some merchants will accept coins from other places, but will weigh them on scales to compare them to our own coins first. A silver coin from Fenn is only half the weight of a Silver Moon. How many Copper Bits would that coin be worth?"

Some of the younger children had their faces comically screwed up, trying to think of the right answer. I left it for a moment before raising my own hand and giving the answer, "If ten Copper Bits make up a Silver Moon and the Fennian silver coin is only half the weight, then it should be worth only five Copper Bits. Because half of ten is five."

"Well done Sharein, that's correct." Sister Tera congratulated me, smiling broadly. She liked it when the older kids phrased their answers in a way that would help the younger ones understand.

Looking back at the map, my eyes went straight to Easthaven. This was where I always first looked when studying the map. We sat near the middle eastern edge of the continent, at the far Eastern Border of Carn. Above us were the Irongap Mountains, labelled 'DWARVES' in red ink across the middle. To the East, before the ocean was a forest labeled 'Shadowmark Forest', which we all just knew as forbidden. Our farm was the Easternmost farm in Carn, backing onto the forest. My eyes were then drawn to the large forest above the northern border of Carn, the forest labelled 'Sarillion' with the word 'ELVES' written in red across it.

"Can anyone tell me the name of our Shire?" Sister Tera asked, watching a number of hands raise in the air. She called on Eli Westwood, a farmer's son from out west, who had stretched his hand so high that his was lifting his backside up off the ground.

"It's the same as our town, Sister!" he answered eagerly, "We live in Easthaven Shire."

"That's right Eli." Sister Tera acknowledged, "Very good. We live in Easthaven of Easthaven Shire of the District of Eastholm. Baroness Eastholm resides in Sunhaven Shire to our west."

Sister Tera pointed out our two Shires and our District on the map on the wall. "There is only one town in Easthaven Shire, but there are two towns in Sunhaven Shire: Sunhaven and Eastholm Castle. Can anyone tell me how many Districts there are in Carn?"

I raised my hand and was only among a few this time. "Sharein?" Sister Tera called.

"There are ten districts in total, Sister." I answered.

"Very good, yes." Sister Tera responded, "Carn is ruled by King Herrod Carn the second, but has five vassal Barons. Each Barony is made up of two Districts and each District is made up of two Shires. Can anyone tell me, then, how many Shires there are in Carn?"

Anwen, the Mayor's daughter raised her hand immediately and was called upon to answer. "There are twenty Shires in total, Sister."

"Yes Anwen, twenty Shires in ten Districts in five Baronocracies all under one Crown." Sister Tera explained, pausing for a moment to let the lesson sink in.

I smiled a little to myself as I watched the kid's eyes widen around me.

"Just like the coins!" one of the younger ones yelled out.

"Yes," said the Priestess, "Just like the coins. For this reason, you might hear the Shires being referred to as the Bits of Carn. This is also why the Barons are occasionally referred to as the 'Suns of Carn'."

Sister Tera continued on to describe the other Districts and Shires, pointing out that every Shire had between one and four towns in it, except for Nightholm Shire. Nightholm Shire of Darkholm District of the Barony of Oscura was a lost Shire. It had been raided thirty years ago by the Orcs over our southern border in the Badlands. While it appeared on all of our maps, the Shire was now the home of Orcs and worse monsters. Darkholm Shire was now a fortified bulwark against the hordes that raided from the Badlands, no farmland, populated entirely by soldiers manning a series of strategically located forts and walls.

"Castlemere, the home of the King, is in the middle of the Kingdom." Sister Tera said, pointing it out on the map, "Protected by the Baronies but separate from them. The King's Guard patrol the Highways leading to the Baronsholm, but the Baronies themselves are protected by the Baron's armies. Except in the case of Darkholm district, where soldiers from all across the Kingdom have been sent to help."

When Sister Tera ended the class, we all eagerly ran outside to play (or in the case of myself and some of the older kids, supervise the younger ones playing). It wouldn't be long before the adults were finished inside, so the kids were eager to catch up with their friends. It invariably ended up split into two, with the boys having play sword fights and the girls playing hops, a game played on a set of squares drawn in the dirt. The older ones usually stood to the side and talked (gossiped) and helping the younger ones if they got hurt (usually the boys).

Eventually the adults began filtering out of the church and I collected Jocam, Illith, Daavid, Kara, and Jara and herded them over towards Mother and Father who were talking to Father Mattias. The old Priest was nodding to the things Mother was saying to him as we approached and gestured for me to step to one side. As Mother and Father continued to walk down towards the Common's Paddock, Father Mattias spoke to me.

"Now Sharein," he said, "It is almost your thirteenth nameday, a day where great responsibility is heaped upon you."

"Yes Father." I said, nodding gravely.

The old Priest smiled at me, his shock of white hair bobbing on his head as he nodded also. "I shan't embarrass you by going over the things your Mother will soon be instructing you, but I am aware that most won't really apply."

I looked at him with confusion, waiting patiently for him to continue, "All of our young boys and girls have a year to experience being an adult before they decide upon their future. Most boys will start an apprenticeship on the fourteenth nameday and most girls will marry shortly after their first Long Night dance."

I continued nodding, curious as to where the Father was heading.

"You never struck me as the sort to look forward to being a wife, Sharein." the Priest said, and my heart stopped.

He knew? How did he know? I knew that I was different to the other girls, like Mari. Mari could only talk about the boys at the moment and although I nodded, smiled and gossiped as well, it was all a lie. For the longest time, I thought that I was just… late. That it would come. Mari confessed to me her dreams of this or that boy and I could never admit that *those* dreams always featured her, or the other girls. My mind swirled around and around. I felt like I had stopped breathing, that all the breath in me had just disappeared and my whole body was weighted down.

Father Mattias was still talking, but I didn't hear a word he said. I must have gone pure white and round eyed, for he stopped and reached out to me. "Sharein?"

"Sorry Father." I said, shaking my head and searching frantically for something to say, finally stammering out "I don't know what you mean, Father. Of course I want to be a wife."

"Not everybody does Sharein. It just so happens that I never wanted to be a husband. Sister Tera never wanted to be a wife. The Priesthood is a good place for people like us," he said with a wink and a conspiratorial smile, I didn't know whether he was referring to all of us or just himself and the Priestess, "but it's a calling, and I do not think that Mithras is calling you."

I stood gasping at him. In a matter of moments he first revealed that he knew my deepest darkest secret, then gave me a solution only to follow up by telling me that it wasn't an option. I felt lost.

He chuckled a little and a sudden strong anger rose up in me. How dare he laugh at this? "Actually, Sister Tera and I both agree that you would make a fine Priestess. But it is obvious, that you don't hold Mithras in your heart as much as we would both dearly like, or as much as would be required."

"Sharein." he said gently, "Sharein. Through the next year I would like you to give great thought to something. I have already discussed it with him, and with Sister Tera. It is an option, if you are interested."

I looked at him in what must have been hopeful confusion.

"Don't answer straight away. Think about it." He said, "Would you like to take up an apprenticeship with the Wizard Malkarov?"


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

1st Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c. - Name Day

It was the day of my thirteenth Name Day. An exciting time for any person in Easthaven, or across Carn where the tradition was observed. The day before had been church and lessons, and Father Mattias had said nothing further to me about his question. I had given it great thought over the previous tenday, but didn't have an answer. Something about the priesthood drew me towards it, but something else about it just seemed wrong somehow. The offer to apprentice under the Wizard Malkarov seemed almost perfect, too good to be true. The old wizard had never taken an apprentice in my memory and I didn't want to ask Mother about it just yet. Me, a wizard? I tried to imagine doing some of the things that I had seen Malkarov do. He often performed illusions on special occasions, making lights appear and such. But the biggest feat I had seen him perform was when some bandits descended upon the town a few years earlier.

They came on the Long Night, when everyone was in the village. The Mayor went out to greet them and invite them to join in the celebrations but they drew their swords and demanded money to leave. Malkarov strode forward, murmuring some words and a group of glowing arrows flew out from his fingers! The arrows streaked forwards, slamming into the bandit and missing the Mayor completely. The bandit fell down, dead, and as the others turned around to flee the wizard cast another spell and they all fell down asleep! They were stripped down to their underclothes and locked into a storage shed for the night so they town could continue celebrating. In the morning, the wizard and a few volunteers took them in the back of a cart to the Baroness in Eastholm Castle.

My Name Day started by being shaken awake by Kara and Illith both. Each were so excited to almost be one year older that my rude awakening occurred before sunrise. That was okay, Mother would already be awake and looking for help in the kitchen.

Kara jumped on top of me in the bed and I gave her a cuddle and a kiss on the cheek, "Are you ready to be a big seven year old?"

"Uh huh." she said, giggling as I began to tickle her.

"And Illith," I said to my other sister, "are you ready to be a ten year old?"

"I can't wait." she said, holding in her excitement only barely.

"You know that Mother has something special planned for you before we head into town?" I asked.

"Yes, she said that we had to do something important." Illith answered, a little apprehensively.

We had to give Illith her sacrifice ceremony. She might not be ready for a few years yet, I had only just started this past Deep Summer, but the tenth birthday for a girl in our family was always important. I had learned after I had mine, that the same ceremony didn't hold true for everyone. Beka Crownever looked at me strangely when I excitedly told her about it after my tenth Name Day, and I was careful not to mention our ceremonies to anybody else after that.

"Don't worry Illith, it's nothing to be afraid of." I comforted her, then turned her around and pushed her gently, "Come on, let's get ready. There's lots of baking to be done."

We all got ready together and presented ourselves to Mother for direction. Not only did we have to make breakfast for everyone (Father and our brothers would be out doing their work in the fields before we all travelled into town), but we had to bake an assortment of cakes and biscuits to take with us. The Name Day feast would begin after the proclamation of age by the Mayor of Easthaven at midday and was made up of dishes brought in by every family living in Easthaven. Every family had their own things that they made and brought in, it must have been decided an age ago and hadn't changed at all in the years that I could remember. We would make honey cakes, spice cake and shortbread biscuits. The Meadowbroeks would always bring in a suckling pig that they had been cooking over an open fire since the early hours of the morning. Others brought in salads, other meats, sweets, breads and other foods and drinks.

I was about to get started on making the honey cake, which had been my task since Mother first started teaching me six years earlier. But Mother interrupted me, "Sharein, you start on the Spice Cake and Illith can start on the Honey cake while I teach Kara how to make the shortbread. You've watched and helped me enough over the past couple of years haven't you Sharein?"

"Yes Mother." I answered, quietly containing my excitement at being tasked to make the more difficult delicacy. If you didn't get the mix of spices just right, it could turn out horribly.

"Just keep an eye on Illith, especially when it comes time to add the wet." She added.

"Yes Mother." I confirmed and began to set out the ingredients.

I loved baking, and cooking. It was a task where you heard and saw the reward, with compliments and noises of appreciation. The spice cake was always popular and we usually made four of them for Name Days. Some had tried to recreate it at other times, but it was never as nice as Mother's, and she refused to give out the recipe.

I lost myself in my work, preparing the dry mix and the wet, measuring out the spices all in the right quantities to make four cakes. Mother's patient instructions to our youngest sister were a comforting reminder of years past, making sure the Illith was doing okay with gentle prodding of my own to "Put a touch more honey in" and to "make sure to bang the tin on the bench to get rid of any large air bubbles."

Before pouring the mix into my own tins, I made sure to take a small spoon of mixture over to Mother to check over (once, I had checked and corrected the mix myself of course).

Mother hummed appreciatively and congratulated me on a job well done, "These will probably be the best spice cakes yet Sharein, well done!"

I beamed and the compliment and poured the mix into the waiting tins, using the wooden paddle to set them into the back of the large stone oven. Once the oven was full, we set to work cleaning up our mess and preparing breakfast. Mother sent Kara out the front to ring the bell to summon Father and the boys in from the field. Sausages, bacon, mushrooms and eggs were all fried up in short work; as well as a large pot of long grain porridge and a large fresh and warm loaf of bread, sliced and slathered in butter. Father and the boys would all be hungry once they came in from their work. Mother drew a big mug of ale from the barrel and sat it at the head of the table for Father and began pouring two glasses of watered wine. She sat one down at her place next to Father and one down opposite at my place.

I looked at her questioningly, "You're not thirteen quite yet Sharein, but you're almost there."

"Thank you Mother." I said with a smile, it may have only been a few hours early, but it made me feel a bit special that Mother would break the 'rules' this way. The girls filled up mugs of water for themselves and the boys and we began setting the table once we heard Father and the boys come into the house.

The boys came running straight into the kitchen to sit down at their seats and Father followed, giving Mother a kiss on the cheek and a compliment to us "This looks absolutely delicious Mother, girls. What a fantastic feast you've prepared for us. Why, I almost think that it must be a special occasion. It's not the Long Night already, is it?"

I gave a little smile at Father's jest even as Kara and Jara both let out large sighs simultaneously, "Father! It's Name Day!" they said at the same time.

"Oh!" Father said with a wide smile as he sat down in his seat, "Already? But that would make you two big six year olds!"

"Seven!" Kara shouted with a frown, Jara following with "Father! You know that we're going to be seven!"

I started laughing at their antics, Jocam joining me. Illith and Daavid were smiling a little even as Mother gave Father a swat on the arm, "Leave them be Father. Breakfast is getting cold."

We very quickly got started on the task of demolishing our meal.

Once we were finished, Mother said to Father, "Take the boys and Kara out to get the horses and cart ready. We will meet you at the front gate once we're finished."

The three of us washed the dishes and packed everything away before Mother instructed us to come out into the garden at the back of the house.

Mother instructed us to take off our clothes and kneel down around the firepit. Despite all of the children, Mother was still a very attractive woman, slim and curvy. Her breasts and tummy were a bit saggy and she had the marks on her belly from her pregnancies, but she wore it all almost proudly. If I grew up to be half as strong as Mother, I would be happy.

"You are almost ten years old Illith, in the next few years you will start to become a woman." Mother gestured towards me, "Your breasts will start to grow, hair will start to grow down there and on your underarms. You will also start to bleed for a few days, every cycle of Luna, as your womb sheds. This gets you ready to become bear and birth children. The bleeding is your sacrifice for this gift."

Illith knew most of this already, she had questioned me as I got changed about the way my nipples were puffing up and swelling, and the hair that had only just started to grow.

Mother took up the small knife that she had brought out with her and walked around to Illith, taking her right hand in her left and I moved around to take Illith's other hand.

"Sister Luna, light above. This child of the moon is here, ready to sacrifice the first time in the presence of her family. Bless her, allow her body to take in your light, bless her." Mother intoned.

Mother reached over to Illith's leg with the knife and made a small cut in her thigh. A small amount of blood welled up and she caught it with the blade of the knife. Illith was looking down at the cut on her leg and I squeezed her hand, pointing down with my other at the small raised scar on my own leg that matched the one on Mother's leg also. Mother took up some ash from the fire pit and rubbed it over the cut. She placed the knife in Illith's hand, holding it steady so that the blood didn't drip off. She picked up a mug of water, and guided Illith to dip the blade into the mug.

"Once you do start to bleed, Illith." Mother said, "On the first night of each bleeding time, under Luna, you will wash off your pad in a bucket of water and then pour the water onto the garden. But for now, bring the cup over to the vegetable patch."

Illith brought the cup over and Mother instructed her on the words to say, "Sister Luna, Light above. I have my sacrifice, life does not grow in me. Use my sacrifice to grow life around me."

Illith repeated the words and emptied the cup into the garden. Mother gave her a kiss on the cheek and I matched it on the other side, then we all shared a hug before getting dressed and heading out to the front gates.

It was almost time for our name day ceremony!


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

1st Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c - Name Day

We arrived in Easthaven, cart packed full of us and wooden platters of food (as well as a barrel of Father's mead from last season.) We left the cart and horses in the common's paddock and carried the platters and barrel in towards the town square. Long tables were set up along one side, where we dropped off the food and drink. We then wandered around, talking to other families, making sure to stay close to Mother and Father. After the ceremony, I'd be free to go off by myself to socialise with my own friends. Mari caught up with us shortly before the ceremony was due to begin.

"Are you ready?" she asked, with a hug by way of greeting.

"Never readier." I replied with a smile, holding the hug.

We broke apart and she took my hands in hers whispering conspiratorially, "I spent most of the morning watching Tomas working on the anvil. His father had to ask me to leave as I was 'too distracting'."

I let forth a smile that I didn't feel, "You are very distracting Mari, why you could distract a songbird right off it's perch."

She swatted me on the arm gently, "Oh, you say the nicest things. Sometimes I wish that you had been born a boy."

It wasn't the first time that she had said something like that and it pained me everytime. I didn't let it show, though. Mari needed me as her best friend.

We were interrupted by the Mayor, standing on the speaking hill (a raised bit of grass to one side of the town square), ringing his bell.

We all proceeded to line up, by age: The mother's holding babies first or mother's accompanying their one year olds in the next line, then the two year olds and so on. Right up until the eldest in the town, old Master Togar who would soon be eighty-two.

"Welcome everyone!" The Mayor announced, his voice projecting across the square. "Today is our seven hundred and sixty eighth Name Day!"

The crowd cheered, some of the younger children jumped up and down excitedly.

The Mayor pulled out a great big book and set it down on the small table in front of him, dipping a quill into a pot of ink, he began. He called up each child about to turn one, by name. It always impressed me how the Mayor knew everybody's names. He wrote their name into the book and said "Congratulations, you're now one year old." to each one. The mothers then carried their babes back to join their own line. Then he moved onto the one year olds and so on. Once the two year olds became three, they moved off to one side where the new babies were to form a new queue. Family clapped when it was their members turn. I clapped when Kara and Jara were pronounced seven year olds, when Daavid was pronounced nine, Illith ten and Jocam twelve.

Once he reached us twelve year olds, he paused to make another announcement. "Everybody! We are now ready to welcome our twelve year old children to become thirteen year old adults!"

A shiver of excitement ran down my spine and along my arms. It was time!

The difference with us, to those that came before was obvious. The Mayor made a much bigger thing of it.

"Sharein Askilain! Congratulations on becoming an adult today." He said, taking my hands. "You now have a voice."

The crowd clapped as he let go of my hands to write my name in the book and I reflected on his words. As an adult, I now had a say in decisions that affected the town. Although most decisions were made by the town council, I could become a member of that council if I were voted in (it had never happened to a thirteen year old, but there had on occasions been members elected at seventeen or eighteen), for larger decisions that were 'taken to the town' I would have a voice. It was a big responsibility.

"Thank-you Mayor Crownever." I said, with a curtsey before moving back to take my place in the line of thirteen year olds.

The ceremony continued on, clapping occuring for every new adult, with every member of the town coming up to have their name and age written down. Mother was declared to be twenty-eight and Father thirty-one. There was a brief pause, when the Mayor announced his own age at fifty-two and wrote it in the book. The longer the ceremony went, the more gaps there were in ages. The Mayor remembered everyone's age, though, without mistake. Finally, it seemed like the entire day had gone by, it was Master Togar's turn. Master Togar was assisted by Sister Tera and a walking stick, but made it up the front to shake the Mayor's hand. Master Togar was the mayor of Easthaven for many years before Mayor Crownever was appointed and before that, it was told, he was a soldier in the old Orc Wars.

The Mayor stood up again, "Thank you everybody! Congratulations on another year! Now it's time to celebrate!"

We all made our way to the feast tables, eldest to youngest, with Master Togar getting the first pick of the delicious food. Master Togar made his way back past the line once I neared the front and I noticed with pride that he had taken a slice of my spice cake. I filled my plate up with pork, salads, roasted vegetables and a slice of a delicious blackberry filled pastry roll made by the baker. I also filled up a mug with some mead from Father's barrel. He had let me have a sip of it when he first opened it and it was delicious. Then I made my way over to where I saw Mother and Father sitting near the Meadowbroeks.

"How does it feel Sharein?" Father asked, "Soon you will be having your first full Long Night's Dance, getting married and raising children of your own!"

I laughed nervously, Master and Missus Meadowbroek both laughed, as did Mari and Father. I couldn't help but notice that Mama didn't laugh at all, looking at me strangely.

"It feels good, Father, to be an adult." I replied, "Although I do not mind waiting for my first Long Night's Dance."

"Sharein would just be happy to be out from under Missus Askilain's apron, I think." Mari piped up. Our parents all laughed at this. They knew how the restrictions had chaffed me over the past year.

I blushed a little, "I admit, the granting of freedom will be refreshing, but I shan't forget my responsibilities first."

"Thank you Sharein, I never had any doubt." Mother smiled as we all continued eating our meals.

We were soon joined by the rest of our families, with the younger children eating their fill before running off to play. Usually, I would be supervising, but Mother indicated that I should stay and talk with the rest of the adults. Father and Master Meadowbroek both talked about crop prices, likelihood of frost and chance of snow. Mother and Missus Meadowbroek gossiped about the goings on in town and the other farms. Although Father's discussion interested me, I had no experience to voice an opinion on any topic. Mother's discussion didn't interest me so much (It interested Mari much more than I), but I was able to contribute in places. I made sure to make no dire criticisms of anybody, but offer thoughtful ideas (as Mother often looked down upon those who often criticised others). When the topic of Missus Lithrowe's (a new young farm woman on the other side of town), difficulties with feeding her first new baby were raised I suggested that a birth mother go to visit her.

Missus Meadowbroek pointed out "Missus Lithrowe is much too proud to accept special treatment like that."

I thought about it for a moment and suggested that "Perhaps it could be made official? Surely many new first mothers have this trouble? What if a birth mother visited every new mother in the first few weeks and Missus Lithrowe just happened to be the first one?"

Mother was so impressed with my suggestion that she immediately went off in search of Sister Terra to suggest it. Once Mother returned, the discussion continued without anyone bringing it up again, for which I was a little thankful.

Once we had all finished eating, some of the townsfolk and farmers pulled out instruments and played songs. Small groups, who usually played together at town events, and sometimes singles took turns to play the more popular tunes. Different people in the crowd took turns to sing, with groups joining in for chorus'. For some songs, couples or groups would get up and dance. There was laughter, cheering and clapping all over.

Eventually, as darkness descended we went to collect the plates and trays of food we brought in. The spice cake was all gone, but there was a little bit of honey cake left and some shortbread. Mother kept a little bit of honey cake and shortbread, moving the rest onto another platter on the table. She then took small portions of other foods onto our tray to take home, including some pheasant meat that I hadn't eaten for lunch. We carried everything back to the commons paddock and made our way home. The Meadowbroeks travelled with us as far as our farm before heading down their road. We packed everything away and ate a small supper before all heading for bed. I lay in bed for a while, thinking back over my first day as an adult, before succumbing to darkness of sleep.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

15th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c - Long Night

I woke early in the morning, just like almost every other day. While the start of the day may be normal, average, the ending would be anything but. It was Long Night, the time of the year when the darkness of night would stretch the longest. It was also a time of celebration. Once the middle of night was declared past, it was a sign that darkness was being vanquished. Everyone would be gathering in the town square. As night-time falls, the boys and men would gather on one side of the square and the women and girls on the other. Father Mattias would say a prayer and the dancing would begin. Separately at first, then when the Mayor rings a bell to declare the middle of night, the younger children would leave with one of their parents (or both if all the children were under fourteen years) and the older unmarried ones would remain to dance with each other. It was a time honoured tradition and was often the start of when couples would begin to 'walk out' with each other. It was going to be Mari's first Long Night long dance, and I had not a doubt in the world that she would be walking out with Tomas afterwards. I had heard about it over and over since Name Day. I had been making full advantage of my ability to roam freely, meeting up every day with Mari to head into town, except of course for the tenday when we both suffered through Father Mattias' longer sermons. We would talk as we walked, inevitably finding our way to the horse hitch opposite the smithy. Every day we spent a fair portion just sitting there talking, or at least I talked while Mari just stared at Tomas in the Smithy ignoring everything that I said. It was a bit painful for me, but I knew that it would be nothing compared to the abandonment that I would feel after Long Night. As such, I had been both looking forward to and dreading the approach of this day.

I wasn't to meet up with Mari today, as we would be seeing each other later at dark. As such, I spent most of the day out in the field with father, picking out the weeds from the field that would be planted with barley the day after long night. While I headed inside to prepare lunch with Mother and the girls, Father and the boys wheeled the last of the collected horse dung from their stable out into the fields. Once lunch was eaten, and the dishes cleaned up, we heated up water in a pot over the fire ready for baths. Father and the boys moved the table against the wall, and brought out the tub. It was a big heavy thing, wooden slats bound with metal, similar to one half of a wine barrel. We brought out some cold water from the well, and then tipped in pot after pot as they became ready until the tub was about half full. While we waited for the water to boil we prepared our contributions to the nights feast. Father had killed a number of rabbits which Mother and used to make a stew in a large pot. One at a time, we used cold water and soap to clean ourselves outside before soaking in the tub. Father first, then Mother, then all of us kids from me to Jara. Once finished, we dried off in front of the fire, while the next came in to take their turn in the bath. Once dry, we emptied another pot of water into the tub and filled it up to put back over the fire. Mother and Father both got dressed while I was in the tub so that they could assist Kara and Jara respectively. Jocam, Illith, Daavid and I took care of ourselves. It was a lovely feeling to soak in the warm water in front of the fire in the middle of deep winter and was a tradition in our house before the Long Night celebrations. Once all dressed, we prepared to leave for Easthaven. Before we left the house Father brought out a bottle of rum and two small wooden cups. Father poured the rum into the cups to quarter fill them and he and Mother both intoned "For warmth to protect from the cold of darkness." before draining their cups in one go. We each took turns doing similar (although father poured less than a quarter into my and Jocam's cups, and much less than that for Illith, Daavid, Kara and Jara). The alcohol went down easily, warming me up from the inside before I went out into the cold. Even though we all wore fur cloaks (or in Father's case, just a woolen cloak), the cold air chilled me right up through my dress, woolen stockings or not.

"I am ever so excited!" exclaimed Mari, when she joined me in the cart, she giggled and hugged me tight. I hugged her back and gave her a kiss on the cheek, smelling rum on her breath when close. She must have had a bit more than even Mother and Father.

"So am I Mari, but I wager not as excited as you." I replied, once I extricated myself from her hug. To no avail, for she grabbed me just as tight around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder. Suddenly she sat up straight, or would have were she not slightly affected by the rum, for she tipped slightly away from me.

"I know!" she exclaimed again, "We should join our cloaks like we used to!"

I smiled at the memory, instead of wearing separate cloaks, we used to join them together to make one big one, then cuddle up inside the tent-like shelter to share the heat.

"What a fantastic idea Mari." I replied, already taking off my cloak. Mari did likewise and I first saw the beautiful new dress that she was wearing. I say dress, but it was more like a gown, or at least what I imagined a ballgown of the sort worn in Castlemere to be like. Missus Meadowbroek must have had it brought in specially for this night. It was pure white and pleated up to under her bust, the green shoulders of her gown came down into a vee in the middle with green lace covering her decolletage to just under her collar bones. The shock of the cold was slowly replaced by a wonderful warmth once we had the now joined cloaks around us. To wrap the cloaks around properly, she had to sit on my lap. We held hands in front of us and wrapping our other arms around each other behind. Our heads were so close that our cheeks touched with each bump and whenever she turned to talk to me directly our lips would oftentimes touch. She blushed a little every time that happened and I confess it probably warmed me up more than the cloak did.

"I confess Sharein," Mari whispered to me, "although I'm excited about tonight and what shall come of it, I feel a little trepidation about the future."

I ran my thumb across the back of her hand and held her a little tighter, "Fret not Mari, for you are deserving of happiness and Tomas is the sort to bring you the Sun and the Moon should you ask."

Mari let out a little scandalised "Oh!"

"I just mean that he would do anything for you Mari, he is as besotted with you as you are with he." I clarified, with a little less blasphemy.

"Oh Sharein," she sighed and paused. She seemed to be trying to make up her mind about something. "I have no worries about me and him, it is me and you that concerns me. I expect that I shall be walking out with him after tonight, then married and then raising children. I shall miss you most heartily."

"I shall miss you also Mari, more than you know, but your heartache for me will lessen with Tomas' love." Mari turned her head around to glance at our Mothers, who were driving the cart. I followed her glance and saw that they were both facing forward, engaged in conversation. When she moved back to look at me, she took her hand from mine and moved it up to lay against my cheek.

"I do know." she said, then she kissed me. Our lips parted and our tongues touched. The kiss felt like it went on forever, a rush of heat burned through me. Light exploded behind my closed eyes and every hair on my body tingled. Me, the world and everything shrunk down to nothing. Until that is, a bump on the road forced us to separate. I opened my eyes but nothing existed except for Mari's flushed face. Her lips moved, but no words seemed to be coming out.

She frowned and the hand that was laying against my cheek was used to poke me on my nose. "Are you even listening to me?" she whispered, her eyes wide and worried.

"Sorry. No." I stammered, somewhat confused.

"No Sharein, I'm sorry. I know. I've known for a while, quite a while. We know each other better than we know ourselves, so how could I not?" Mari explained, "I'm sorry that I can't give you what you want, but that… that was something I could give you, just this once, just now."

I was almost speechless. Gratitude and relief welled up inside me, they warred with the withdrawn sadness that had grown over the years and the heartache the blossomed just now. To hold this Winter's Heart for one brief moment, never to touch it again? It was a pain unimaginable, except for the knowledge that even for that one brief moment, I did get to hold it.

"Oh Mari!" I exclaimed and hugged her as tightly as I could, "Thank you."

"I am certain Sharein," Mari whispered after a moment, "certain that you shall find someone to love who will be able to return it, but I fear that it may not be here in Easthaven."

I wiped away a tear from my eye, "No matter where I end up, you will forever be my Mari." I stated and realised that our talk had made us both feel a little maudlin. In an effort to change that, I asked "So what advice did your mother give you about tonight?"

Although I was left a little shocked by the level of detail in Missus Meadowbroek's advice, our topics of discussion were only minor and inconsequential the rest of the way into town.

Once we arrived, we (Mari, Missus Meadowbroek, Mother, my sisters and I) were dropped off at the Village Green, while Father, Master Meadowbroek and the boys all went to secure the horses and carts. Mother and I carried the great pot of stew over to the tables before we joined the other families waiting on the Green.

We were joined shortly by the rest of our families and all mingled, talking to our friends.

Eventually Mayor Crownever called for everybody's attention "Fine people of Easthaven!" he began, and everybody cheered, "Fine people of Easthaven, here we are at another Long Night! Please eat your fill and drink your fill before the darkness descends upon us! Once darkness falls, as always we will gather in the town square for the dancing. All Hail The Light!"

"All Hail The Light!" Everyone intoned, then let out an almighty cheer, with some raising cups up into the air. We all made our way slowly over to the tables, taking platters or bowls. I slathered a slab of bread with fresh butter and filled up a bowl with our own Stew. I'd often try something different, whenever we had a feast, but the stew smelled delicious. To try to remedy this I added some garlic mushrooms from another bowl into the stew and took a cup of cider from another table. I looked around for Mother and Father and noticed that they were walking towards the same spot we sat for the Name Day feast. I joined them with my meal, sitting down on a blanket mother had thoughtfully brought. The stew was delicious, shiny globs of fat floated on top amidst the chunks of meat and vegetables. The gravy was thick, soaking into and coating the bits of bread I dipped into it. The garlic mushrooms proved to be a fantastic idea, blending into the flavour of the stew perfectly. I may have let out a little bit of an audible moan, attracting Mother's attention. When I noticed this, I lifted up a spoonful for her to try.

"Mmmmmm, delicious." she responded, "What did you add?"

"Garlic mushrooms." I replied

"I shall have to try that next time I make the stew. I've always felt like it was missing something, but nothing ever seemed to fit. I think that this is that thing, Shar." She said, holding me close and kissing me on the forehead.

Sister Tera chose to sit down next to me to eat her meal, I was a little surprised by her presence, but greeted her once I finished my mouthful. She had with her a plate with some fried, battered pieces of duck meat and some salad.

"I've been meaning to thank you, Shar. I went to visit Missus Lethrowe and she was apprehensive at first, but once we explained that she was just the first in what we would be always doing from now on out, she was much happier to take advice and assistance." she told me, "It was a very good idea you had, to provide this support in this way. Although new mother's often receive support from their own mother, the advice might not always be good or their mother may have passed."

I beamed back at her.

"I told Father Mattias that you would make a fine priestess, I don't doubt that opinion for a moment." Sister Tera smiled. "You have a good head on your shoulders."

I blushed a little and ducked my head, embarrassed by the praise from the Sister.

We finished our meals just before darkness fell, packed everything up and we all as one made our way to the town square. One end of the square, backed onto the bakery held the podium from whence the Mayor or Father Mattias would make pronouncements to the village. At the other, open end of the Square a great pile of wood was sitting there ready to be lit as a bonfire. The entire village gathered in the square between the two.

The sunset had spread colour across the sky, but as we gathered silently, twilight fell. Father Matthias stood up onto the podium next to the Mayor. As the darkness descended, the Mayor ordered all lights to be extinguished. People ran into some of the houses to blow out lamps (all fires had already been sanded and re-set in preparation. The mayor held a single shuttered lantern, it was the sole light in the village. A very small amount of light seeped from the shutters, enough to illuminate only the Mayor's hand. Darkness dropped very quickly, no moon was out, as it ever was on the Long Night. Sometimes it would be a clear night and the stars would provide some illumination, but not tonight. Tonight, clouds blocked the stars and soon everything was black as pitch.

"All Hail the Light!" Father Mattias intoned. The entire village repeated, voices from across the village joined together in prayer.

"Once again, people of Easthaven, we have reached the Long Night. The night when the powers of darkness are at their greatest! But fear not!" he preached, "The blessings of Mithras are upon us! Darkness **will** be defeated this night! Even though Celestine has left, she will return to banish the darkness. All Hail the Light!"

"All Hail the Light!" everyone repeated.

"Come forward" he instructed, and a group of villagers started forward carrying torches, oil soaked linen wrapped around the tops. The Mayor unshuttered his lantern and one by one the torch carriers lit their torches upon his lantern's flame. They spluttered alight, flame dancing in the darkness. Soon ten men and women were standing there holding their flaming brands aloft.

"Mithras has provided our means of defence against the darkness!" Father Mattias continued, "Go forth and provide to each home her protection!"

The men and women went separate ways through the village, entering each house and setting alight their waiting fires. It took a goodly amount of time for every home in the village to be completed, but one by one the torch bearers returned to the front of the podium. Once all ten were present and at an indication from Father Mattias, they moved forward through the gathered villages, who had parted, and threw their torches onto the great bonfire that was waiting.

With a great whooosh! The bonfire took hold and soon the entire town square was illuminated from it's dancing flames.

The Mayor stepped forward this time, "Attention everyone! Please! As Mayor of Easthaven, I declare this Long Night's Dance… begun!"

Everybody cheered, a great cacophony that drowned out the beginnings of the music, for when it finally died down I could hear a fiddle, tambourine and drums already begun.

The first dances were for everybody and, for the first dance at least, almost everybody participated. Some mothers with newborn babes sat off to the side on bales of hay, and some that were too old sat with them (Although I noted that Master Togar did actually dance the first with Sister Tera, a little unsteadily, but the smile on his face made him seem at least twenty years younger). After the first combined dances, the Mayor announced a dance for married couples. Mari and I sat with our brothers and sisters as our Mother's and Father's danced. I watched Father twirl Mother, a bright smile full of joy on their faces. I saw the love there as their eyes never left the other's. Other dances followed, some I danced with Mari and others with my sisters or brothers. Several kegs of beer and wine had been brought out, Father and Mother (and most of the adults) drank liberally.

After one song, the Mayor rang his bell from the podium. "People of Easthaven. It's time for the Long Dance to begin!"

More cheering followed this announcement, although I wasn't sure if the louder came from over near the beer kegs or from those unmarried over fourteen!

While all the dancing previous had been "The Long Night Dances", the "Long Dance" was a special part of it. To start off all the boys and girls danced separately, the song repeating five times. On the fifth repetition the Mayor would ring his bell, and the boys and girls under fourteen would dance back and away, leaving only the unmarried over fourteen to dance together. Mari and I danced the first five together exclusively, both of us laughing and smiling and enjoying the moment. Every time we separated and our hands parted felt like a slight loss, only to be erased when we took each other's hands again. The music was exhilarating, as was my dance partner. Eventually it came time for the bell to be rung again. This was the signal for all those under fourteen to dance away, leaving those fourteen and over to dance together until the sun rose in the morning. Missus Meadowbroek would be staying behind to take Mari home in the morning, just as the father's would be waiting for their sons (although I caught a glance at some near the ale barrels that seemed a little disappointed.).

"I love you Mari." I whispered into her ear.

"I love you too Sharein." she whispered back.

The younger boys and girls were dancing away, but then it struck me, a way I could show Mari how much she meant to me. I took Mari's hand in mine. Even though she remained dancing (as was tradition), I started walking towards the other side of the square where I could see Tomas waiting eagerly.

I heard Mother call out to me "Sharein! It's not your year!" and Missus Meadowbroek reply "Look! She's not dancing", but I ignored them, determined to do this for Mari.

Once we got close, I could see the adoration in Tomas' eyes, he looked all sweaty and unattractive to me, but I knew that wasn't what Mari saw when she looked at him. I risked a glance sideways and my suspicion was confirmed. She saw in him what I, for quite a long time, saw in her. Slowly, I took Tomas' hand in my left and brought their two hands together. Even though neither looked at me, I knew how much Mari would appreciate the gesture. Slowly I backed away, blinking tears from my eyes as I watched them dance their first dance together.

It was a little funny, I acknowledged, the heartbreak wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I almost walked backwards right into Missus Meadowbroek, who enveloped me in a tight hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Once we were seated in the cart, Mother put her arm around me and apologised "I'm sorry Shar, I wasn't aware of your intentions. I shouldn't have doubted you, it was a wonderful gesture."

I nodded and smiled a little. Even though I said nothing, remaining deep in thought, she kept her arm around me all the way home.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

16th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c - The day after Long Night

Although we all had a late night, there was still no sleeping in. Today was the day after Long Night, the day that tradition said that Barley must be planted. Although the ground was very cold and extremely hard, any crop of Barley that was planted even a day later or a day earlier (it was said) would invariably fail.

Father was extremely happy this year as normally it would just be him and my brothers planting the seeds, but as I was now an adult I was free to help. I was happy to, as much as I did enjoy helping Mother around the house and preparing the meals, I had always thought that it was a bit unfair that we couldn't help out when there was so much work to do.

I got dressed as I normally did, only to run into Father in the hallway. We exchanged 'Good Morning's and father stepped back to look at me thoughtfully.

"That won't do Sharein, you'll get much too dirty wearing that dress. I'll get you an old pair of Jocam's clothes to change into," Father said before going off into the boy's room.

He came back with a pair of leather breeches and a linen shirt, he also had a pair of Jocam's old boots. I took them from father and went back into our room to change, swapping my dress for the breeches and shirt, slippers for boots. It felt very strange to be wearing boy's clothes. The breeches were very tight over my hips, and very loose around my waist, I felt behind and discovered that they were also quite tight over my backside. I tied my hair back into a pony-tail and felt completely ready to go out and work in the fields.

I went back into the kitchen and Mother glanced at me briefly from where she was kneading out some dough.

She didn't even look up again when she said "Jocam, how many times must I tell you not to wear your boots inside the house!"

I put my hand over my mouth and let out a little giggle, Father started laughing whole-heartedly from the table. Mother spun around to look at him, her flour covered hands resting on her hips.

Father contained his laughter briefly, looking a little contrite "Sorry Mother, but that's not Jocam."

"What do you mean it's not…" Mother started before looking at me again, shock this time spread across her face before she too started laughing.

My brothers and sisters must have been woken up by the laughter, for they all came out of their rooms into the kitchen. Bleary eyed they stared at the three of us before most of them trundeled out to get ready for the day.

"I thought it best that Sharein ruins a pair of Jocam's old clothes than one of her dresses today," Father said to Mother. "How do they fit Sharein?"

I spun around for Father and Mother, thumbing the extra material at my waist "They fit very well indeed, except that my waist seems a little smaller than Jocam's was and my hips a little wider."

"Well now," Mother said with a bit of a giggle, "it's a good thing that Sharein will only be working in the field and not going into town dressed like that! Think of the scandal she'd cause!"

"But they feel so comfortable Mother! I wouldn't mind wearing them into town," I told her, honestly.

"I'm sure you wouldn't Sharein, but some would think that the skies were about to fall down on them if they saw you wearing them!" Mother looked thoughtful and took on a sly grin, "Perhaps next Early Winter, when they have all run out of interesting things to talk about in town? I could measure you properly and make you a pair that fit better."

Father was guffawing so loudly that tears were streaming down from his eyes, Mother looked over at him and arched her eyebrow at him, "Something the problem with that Father?"

It took a moment for him to calm down, "Oh no Mother, I'm much too wise to offer comment on how to stir a pot of stew and I'm much too wise to offer comment on stirring other pots."

Father stood up from the table saying, "I shall fetch you a length of rope Sharein, to thread through the belt loops, It shall stop your pants from falling down."

We (Father, the boys and I) had a quick cup of tea with honey before we headed out into the fields. Father and the boys had already tilled the soil, but it still needed to be broken up again. Father and Jocam attached the plows to the horses, each doing a separate field. I followed Father with a bag full of seeds, dropping them at even spaces into the furrow. Jara did the same behind Jocam. Daavid (who loved getting dirty) followed behind me with a large rake, pulling the soil back in to cover the seeds. Father, Daavid and I finished our field before mid-day and each took up a rake to cover over behind Jocam and Jara. Mother, Illith and Kara brought out lunch to us.

Mother exclaimed surprised, "Two fields already?"

"Yes Mother, picking up that second plow, and the help of Sharein means that we should be able to plant four fields this year!" Father replied, he looked so pleased underneath all of the sweat and dirt.

"Oh Father!" Mother exclaimed, before giving him a big hug and a kiss. The rest of us brought out the lunch of bread, butter and cheese.

"I'm of the mind to fertilise two of the fields with the manure of chickens and pigs, to see if I can get barley good enough for malting." Father mentioned conversationally.

"Malting, Father?" questioned Daavid.

"Yes, once we collect the seeds I'll keep them wet for a little bit until just before they sprout. Then I'll smoke them and dry them slowly. This makes the grains, the malted grains a bit sweeter. Once we have malted barley, we can use it to make quite a nice beer. I might keep some to try my own hand at it, but I'll sell the rest to Master Merryman," Father explained.

Master Merryman was the local brewer. He was busy all year around, experimenting with different methods, ales and beers. Most of what he made, he sold to the merchants who visited Easthaven to be then sold to taverns and inns all across Carn. Townsfolk who had travelled anywhere else had often returned to Easthaven to exclaim that they drank his ale in this inn or that inn, in districts that they had not expected to find it. Master Merryman was quite proud of this, and his brewery/home had a large wooden sign in the front window stating:

 _Merryman Ale_

 _Brewer of Beers, Ales and Meads._

 _Famous across Carn._

The sign then went on to list all of the Inns and taverns Master Merryman knew that sold it. We once even had word that the Baron Oscura had mentioned to Baron Eastholm that he had drunk some!

Whilst the younger children and Mother drank water, Father pulled out of the basket two bottles of Merryman beer. He opened both, by pulling out their corks and handed one to me. I took it, beaming.

"There's nothing like a cold ale after all of this work," he said with a smile.

We ate quietly, and fairly quickly. My muscles were aching, and the perspiration that I had built up made my borrowed clothes a little damp. The cold ale was indeed extremely refreshing and I felt my exhaustion lift a little. As soon as we finished Mother and the girls packed up, and we got back to work. Just like with the previous two fields we separated and soon I was lost in the rhythm of dropping the seeds into the furrow. Before I knew it, the sun was starting to get low and I'd finished planting the last of that field.

The ale I had drunk had also started to cause a little bit of pressure in my bladder and I called out to Father, "I just need to make water!"

Father pointed out towards one of the hedges near to me, as a place where I could wee with privacy. I hadn't thought about it earlier, but doing my business whilst wearing breeches was going to be a little difficult. The other side of the hedge was a small field of Winter's Heart flowers, all now coming out into bloom. Once I managed to do my business, I pulled up the trousers and fastened them, then began to walk back through the flowers towards the field. The smell of the flowers was refreshing and I glanced up towards the forest.

The noise of the birds around me faded, all noise stopped. I sat down in the field of flowers as everything grew dark and fuzzy, just as had happened a few short ten-days ago. Did I look towards the forest, or did the forest spin around to be in front of me? I couldn't be sure, but it was there, all sharp and clear. Clearer than it had a right to be. Once again a light grew out from the deep dark, rising and sending the shadows of tree trunks arching out and down towards me. The figure, the woman, was clearer now. Quicker, everything seemed to happen quicker. It was the same girl from my dream. She wore a long black dress, inlaid with small beads of a shiny black stone. It fit her perfectly. She wore a tiara in her black hair, silver with small icy blue gems the same colour as her eyes. She was looking at me with a slightly curious, or puzzled expression. I reached an arm out towards her and her eyes widened in surprise. Suddenly she was right in front of me, or was I right in front of her? I caught sight of trees in my periphery, somehow I had moved into the forest to where she was. She was standing in front of a low altar made of black stone. I noted absently, that it was smooth and gleamed almost with an inner light. The surprised had gone from her and she was now smiling at me enigmatically. She reached out a pale hand and our finger tips touched...


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

16th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c - The day after Long Night

I woke to the clarifying smell of Winter's Heart flowers all around me. I was lying in a field of them, looking up at the sky, light grey clouds covered most of the blue.

"Sharein?" I heard Father call, from the direction of the field.

"Yes Father, I'm coming." I replied, considering whether or not to tell him of my vision. For some reason I got the feeling that the woman didn't want me telling him about her. I questioned this thought briefly as I got up and made my way towards the hedge and field. Did she not want me to say something, or was it that I didn't want to tell him?

"Sorry Father." I apologised when I got close to him, "If we had a privy out here it would have been all right, but it look a little bit of time to do what I needed to do in these breeches."

Father smiled at me, "Yes, I suppose it's not something you've had much practice in."

"Get yourself a rake and let's get this last field finished before we head in for the day." he continued.

We soon had the fourth field all covered and we all trooped back to the house to get cleaned up, ready for dinner.

Mother already had some water heated over the fireplace, Father and the boys let me get cleaned up first (as they would all get cleaned up together). It was nice to be back in the dress that I was used to, but I almost missed the comforting closeness that the breeches provided.

Mother and my sisters had cooked up a veritable feast for us all, as we often did for the big days of seeding and harvesting. I was exhausted from the physically demanding outside work, parts of me ached that had never ached before. Roasted rabbit, vegetables and a nice thick gravy to go all over it. She had even made a pie using some spiced apple preserves.

Dinner was delicious and whilst everyone else chatted about their day, I sat there reminiscing of my encounter with the woman in the forest. She was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen and her smile seemed to be burned into my memories.

"Sharein, are you feeling all right?" Someone asked me and I was shaken from my reverie.

"Yes," I answered, "I was just thinking about what I shall do tomorrow."

"I.." Mother began, but was interrupted by the knock on the door.

"Whoever could that be?" Father asked, as he stood up and answered the door.

"Master Askilain! I'm ever so sorry to disturb you!" I could hear Mari's voice from beyond Father, "I was on my way home and just felt that I needed to stop in to share my news with Sharein!"

Father stood out of the way, taking Mari's cloak from her and hanging it up at the door, then escorted Mari inside.

"Would you care for a glass of wine?" Mother asked Mari, "I'm sure that you must be quite parched."

"I appreciate your thoughtfulness Missus Askilain, but I am almost home. I am ever so excited about my news, I feel that I have been floating all the way back from Easthaven!" Mari exclaimed, she looked so… alive and happy.

"Well, out with it Mari, I feel myself getting excited in anticipation!" I said, copying her radiant smile.

Mari took a deep breath to calm herself down, "Well," she began, "I ate a small lunch with the Waeder family today and afterwards Tomas and I went for a short walk around the town!"

I smiled, nodding my head a little to indicate for her to continue, waiting for the news I had expected for a while now.

"Well," she began again, she was so cute when she was so excited about something, "we got back to the smithy and Tomas told me that he 'had something to ask me'."

"He wanted to know where you bought your dress?" Father asked innocently.

"Yes! No. What?" Mari asked, confused.

"Oh hush now Father." Mother chastised him gently, "He's just pulling your leg. What was his question Mari?"

"Oh." Mari said, visibly getting excited again, "He asked me if I'd like to walk out with him!"

I knew that it was coming, I knew that would be Mari's news. As much as I didn't feel it, I let out a little squeal of excitement and jumped out of my seat to give her a hug.

I heard Father say in a put upon sympathetic voice, "And you said no? Poor lad, I shall have to have an ale with Master Tomas in commiseration."

I hear a light smack, likely Mother chastising him again as Mari pulled back from our hug, "Said No? Said No! Of course I didn't say No."

She looked me in the eyes, tears of happiness at the corners of hers, "I'm ever so happy Sharein."

"I can see that Mari," and I could, "and I am ever so happy for you also." And I was.

"I cannot wait to tell Mother and Father the news!" Mari said, letting go of the hug and gathering her cloak from beside the door, "I am so excited I feel that I could burst!"

"We are overjoyed at your news Mari," Mother told her, "please pass our love on to your family."

Mari nodded, a huge smile on her face, as she fastened the cloak around her shoulders and blew me a kiss.

Father opened the door for her and she fair skipped away.

After a few moments, Father just started laughing. Mother raised an eyebrow at him and said slowly "And how long until Sharein comes home with such news?"

Father's laughter stopped suddenly, his face darkened a little.

"Are there any boys in town that interest you Sharein?" he asked me point blank.

"Uh… no Father, not at all." I replied with some conviction.

The slight darkness disappeared completely and he gestured towards me, "See Mother? Nothing to worry about."

Mother glowered at him and he laughed in return. We all finished our dinner and cleaned up before going to bed.

I lay there until after my sisters were asleep, making plans for the next day.

That night, I dreamed of the woman again. Just like the last dream were were dancing naked in the forest. Although this time, I took special note of my surroundings. We were in a clearing, near a small cliff. At the opposite side of the clearing from the cliff face was a stone altar. The same stone altar that I saw in my vision. We both danced in a circle, following the boundary of the clearing three or four times before we came together in the middle to dance together. Although she felt cold and despite my nakedness, I felt neither hot nor cold. We danced like that for what felt like hours in the dream, I just revelled in her closeness. The whole time, she just stared at me with those Winter's Heart eyes, a cryptic smile touching her lips. Eventually, I noted that the sun was rising, the sky getting lighter. I bent my face closer and touched my lips to hers. Her eyes widened in surprise and the dream ended in nothing but blackness.

17th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c

I woke feeling quite… relaxed. Puzzled and confused, but mostly refreshed. As usual, I had woken long before my sisters, so I got dressed and went outside to freshen up. Once I had used the privy, I washed my face and hands and went back inside into the kitchen to help mother with breakfast. I took a quick note of what she was up to and what she seemed to be planning and took up on the next task she would do. We worked together for a few minutes in silence, no doubt she was concentrating on adding the correct spices to the spiced bread while I ruminated on my dream.

"Did you have a nice sleep Sharein?" Mother asked, once she had finished adding the ingredients into the spiced bread dough and set it aside to rise.

"I did thank-you Mother, I had quite a pleasant dream." I replied, "And you?"

"Yes thank-you Sharein, I did." Mother answered, "I'm letting Father and the boys have a sleep-in, if they can manage it. I would have let you lie-in also, but I think that you are just as immune to them as I."

I nodded with a smile, and we both got back to the breakfast preparations.

Once everyone else eventually awoke, Mother and I had the table set with a big bowl of honeyed porridge, spiced bread and butter, bacon and eggs, and a nice big pot of tea.

We ate slowly, Father and the boys had a few things to fix around the farm and Mother and the girls were planning to head into Easthaven to buy some more spices and ingredients. I, on the other hand, planned to go and explore. The visions had shown up to me twice now and both times came from the same general location in the forest. I desperately wanted to see if there really was a clearing with an altar there.

Once we finished breakfast, I helped mother prepare some lunch for Father and the boys and a picnic basket for Mother and the girls, then once they had all left I started walking towards the forest. I first made my way to the hedge at the back of the barley field where I had the last vision. From there I made my way straight into the forest, trying as best I could to stay on a straight path to where the woman appeared. I had to walk around places where thorny bushes blocked my path, and through a small stream, but eventually I came to the top of a cliff. Looking down, about twenty feet, there was a round clearing in the trees and clearly, I could see a stone altar. My heart leapt in my chest. It was real! The dreams, the visions, all real! I looked around for a way to get down and was just about to head off towards a place where a path looked to head down when I heard a growl from my side, from the way I came. It was a deep growl, a growl that promised pain and death. I looked up, ever so slowly and was dismayed to see four large wolves arrayed out in an arc around me. Their coats were different shades and patterns of black and grey, the tips of their ears came almost up to my neck. These weren't ordinary wolves! These were Dire Wolves! The wolf's much larger, much smarter and much more aggressive cousins. I swallowed audibly as panic set in. I had nothing with which to fight them off, I had heard tell that they were afraid of fire, but that information was useless to me. I backed away from them a little, but realised that they had backed me up to the cliffs edge. They knew it too. One dashed in from the side and clamped it's jaws and teeth down on my leg. A burst of pain shot through me, like nothing I had ever felt before. It had pulled me off my feet and I fell down with a thud, my head hitting the ground. I opened my eyes and saw a branch nearby. I reached out with one hand, just as the dire wolf released it's jaws to take a better bite. I swung the branch around, with all of my might, catching the wolf on the side of it's head.

It was distracted for a moment and I realised that I wouldn't be able to fight all of them off with a tree branch, I did the first thing that came to me.

I rolled off the cliff.


	10. Chapter 9

**  
**Authors Note:

I'm posting quick small chapters here on fanfiction dot net, but then collating chapters, revising them, adding to them and reposting them onto my fictionpress account.

Read there for a better quality (hopefully) story, or keep here for quicker updates (hopefully).

 **www dot fictionpress dot com slash u slash 31687** **  
Chapter 9**

17th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c

Somehow I didn't black out. I wished that I had.

The roll down the steep cliff was painful, especially when my leg bashed up against a large rock and I heard an audible cracking noise, along with a sharp blinding pain. I landed at the bottom with a thud that knocked the air out of my lungs, I tried to breath in deeply, but it hurt. I started coughing, which only made the pain worse. I looked at the sleeve of my dress that I had coughed into and saw bright red splotches of blood. This was not good. Not good at all. I looked up to the top of the cliff and saw the dire wolves looking down at me, all as one they turned and took off at a run towards the pathway that I was headed towards before their arrival.

They were coming back to get me! Blinking out the tears from my eyes, I crawled away from the cliff. It was slow, and painful. Using my hands to dig into the dirt of the clearing and my one good leg to push. Each breath hurt deep inside me, something dripped down into one of my eyes that I couldn't blink out. Blood, probably. I had just about reached the black stone altar when the dire wolves showed up in the clearing. Their loud growls seemed so close. I dared not look to see where they were. I could hear their great paws on the packed dirt of the clearing as they started their killing dash towards me.

I reached out one bloodied hand towards the smooth black stone. The smooth black stone that didn't have any dust or dirt maring it's surface. I don't know what drew me towards it, why I thought that it would be my only source of salvation. I don't even know what language I used to call out when my fingers did make contact, smearing blood on the black stone. I knew the meaning behind the word though. The meaning was 'HELP ME'.

Everything went black.

I opened my eyes, blinking at the sunlight that lit up the clearing around me. I wasn't dead, I wasn't being eaten alive by dire wolves. I wasn't even in any pain anymore. I took a deep breath and it didn't hurt!

I turned my head to look at the altar and was shocked by what I saw, shocked and relieved. Sitting on top of the black stone was the girl, the girl from my dreams. She was perched on the stone with her arms gripping the edge of it. Her black slippered feet alternately kicking off the side of the altar. She was smiling at me, a smile that promised so much.

"The wolves?" I asked, my voice a little croaky.

"Oh, they are gone, they won't be coming back," she replied. Her voice was melodic, her accent strange but musical.

"Did you?" I asked, unable to finish the question.

"Yes." She answered, "I made them go away, and I fixed you up. You were in a bit of a bad way after your fall."

I swung my legs around and stood up.

"Thank-you, thank-you so much." I gushed, getting a little teary, "I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"Oh, never mind that. I was repaying you, after all." she said cryptically.

"Repaying?" I asked, confused.

"You made the sacrifice, you called the prayer." She stated, "It's been a long, long time since I had heard it."

"Who are you?" I asked, questions running over themselves, begging to be answered. "Why did I see you in my dreams, those visions? What sacrifice, what prayer?"

She laughed, a joyous laugh that I did not feel directed at me.

She held a finger up, "Firstly; you can call me Shard. Secondly and thirdly," she said adding two more fingers, "I'm not sure why you saw me, never before has anybody seen me like that."

"Fourthly and fifthly," she added another two fingers, "Your blood and your cry for help."

Something prompted me back into a semblance of sense, and I managed to respond to her introduction, "My name is Sharein, Sharein Askilain. It's a pleasure to meet you."

I gave her a curtsey, and in response she surprised me by hopping down off the stone altar and embracing me in hug. Just like in my dream, she was cold. I could feel that she was cold, but it didn't seem to affect me in any way. She had her arms around my waist, and I returned the hug with my arms over her shoulders. We fit together perfectly as if we were two parts of a whole separated without knowing it. The world could have shattered around us and I wouldn't have noticed, time could have stopped and the sun fallen from the sky and I wouldn't have paid it an ounce of mind. Her shiny raven hair smelled like the clean freshness of a night-time frost.

What could have been an eternity later, I felt her arms loosen from my waist. I reluctantly let go of my half of the hug and stepped back half a pace. She looked up at me with an impish smile.

"It's starting to get dark Sharein, you shall have to leave soon if you wish to make it home in time." She said.

Confused, I looked around to see that the sky was indeed starting to colour with sunset. Where had the time gone?

"I should like to," I began, "may I come to visit you again?"

Her beaming smile was apparently not answer enough, "I would love that very much Sharein. But I need to you to do something for me."

'Anything.' I almost said, but instead nodded sincerely.

"You must promise not to tell anyone about me." She required, "In fact, I should need you to swear an oath."

"Of course!" I said, before I really understood her words, "What is the difference between a promise and an oath?"

"Normally not much." she answered, "But in this case, It is a very special type of oath."

"Of course." I answered straight away, but she laughed again.

"I would be remiss if I did not mention that there may be some consequences to your oath."

"I don't care." I stated.

"I hope so." she replied, and she reached behind her onto the altar and withdrew a curious black knife. It seemed to be made of the same material as the altar. Instead of being long and thin all the way along, it's blade was more of a triangle. Despite producing such a strange weapon, I did not feel any fear at all. I felt that she could stab me through the heart with it and my trust that she would make everything right again would not waver.

She opened up her hand and placed the tip of her knife against the top of her palm. I reached out in shock at the awareness of what she was about to do. Quickly she sliced a line across her palm, blood welling out from between her pale skin. I put my hands over my mouth in shock. She looked at me curiously, perhaps a little unsure.

"I need to do the same to you." She said, perhaps with a little bit of a challenge, fear or unease in her voice.

Without hesitation I thrust my palm out towards her. Her eyes widened in shock at my sudden willingness. I could not tell her that no matter what she asked, I would give. I could not even explain it to myself. In that moment, I became aware that I would willingly lay down my life for her, even though we had only just met.

She placed the point of the knife against my palm, but stopped, "Are you sure?"

I nodded again, slightly hesitant at the pain I was likely to feel. It would be nothing compared to the pain she had already removed from me though.

She ran the tip of the blade along my palm, opening up a gash similar to the one on hers.

"Now." she said, placing the blade back on the altar behind her, "Repeat after me…"

She said a series of words in a language I had only ever heard once before. A language that I used when I cried for help, about to be eaten by dire wolves. I didn't know how, just like I didn't know how I knew what to say then, but I repeated those words perfectly. She held up her bloody hand in front of her, her blood making small drips down onto the ground underneath it and I copied her gesture. Together we moved the palms of our hands together. Once they touched, what I could only describe as 'black light' shone out from where our hands joined. It shone out brightly (darkly?) and I felt a tingle coming from my hand.

Only when she looked at my quizzically, gave a strange nod and pulled her hand away, did I do likewise with mine. I looked amazed and a perfectly smooth, unblemished and clean hand in front of me.

"What did that do?" I asked, curious.

"You just swore an oath not to tell anyone about me, until I release you from your vow, you will not." she said grimly, but quickly became pleasant and happy, "But because of that, you will now be able to come and visit me whenever you like! Also, you should be protected from the creatures in this forest, they will see you and recognise me."

Her happiness turned once again to unease and she asked in a meek, unsure tone, "That is, if you will still wish to see me?"

I was confused by this sudden change, "Why would I not?" I started, "Of course I wish to see you more."

She embraced me in another hug, but with this one, time didn't stop.

"Okay," she said, "off you go now."

"Do I have to?" I asked

"Your mother will be asking enough questions as it is, without you returning in the middle of the night." she replied, "But I'll be here, whenever you need me."

Regretfully I parted from her and made my way up the pathway to the top of the cliff, where I turned to look down into the clearing. There Shard was, sitting back on the altar; head tilted, looking at me with a smile.

On impulse I blew her a kiss. Her smile brightened and she blew one back to me.

I think then that I knew what Mari felt when she left our house after delivering her news. I cannot be sure, but I quite possibly skipped all the way home.

Opening the door, I kicked off my slippers and made my way inside, "Father, Mother. I'm home!" I called out.

"I'm sorry I'm so late, I lost track of time completely." I said as I entered the dining room.

Mother, Father and all of my brothers and sisters were staring at me.

Confused, I asked "What is it?"

Mother pointed at me, "Your hair Sharein, what happened to your hair?"

"What about my.." I began as I pulled my braid over my shoulder to look at it. It was black. Black, just like Shard's.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

17th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c

How did my hair turn black? Black like Shard's? Was it something to do with the oath? It was a shock, that's for sure. Not entirely unwelcome though, I was always a little jealous of Brahdi's blonde hair, that was so different from everyone elses.

Mother had come over to me, to inspect my hair. She ran her hand down the length of the braid and inspected her hand in shock.

"How?" she asked herself, then turned towards Father, "It's not coal powder, her hair is actually black."

She looked closer at my face, "Her eyebrows also!"

Father came to look at my hair as well, then my brothers and sisters.

"Mama!" said Kara, "I want black hair too!"

"How did you do this Sharein?" Mother asked me.

"I don't know Mother," I answered truthfully.

"I like it Shar," said Kara and Jara at the same time.

"Come sit and eat Sharein, before it gets cold," Mother instructed me, and we all sat down to eat dinner.

It was delicious, but the curious looks from both Mother and Father meant that there would be more questions once dinner was finished. The upcoming questioning conflicted with my hunger from the day of fasting. Nevertheless, even though I still managed to eat it all, the dumplings and stew sat uneasily in my stomach. After dinner, Mother and Father sent the younger children off to bed while I washed the dishes from dinner. I finished them at about the same time that Mother and Father came back into the dining room.

We all sat down at the table, I looked down at the table waiting for Mother to say something. When nothing was immediately forthcoming I tentatively looked up at her. She was just staring at me, she looked very concerned.

"Where did you go today, Sharein?" Mother finally asked, "What happened?"

I winced, trying to think of various possible answers before finally settling on simply "The forest."

"The forest?" Mother asked, "The Shadow Forest? The one that nobody is allowed into?"

"Yes?" I said.

Mother sighed, "And what happened?"

"Nothing Mother," I lied, not at all comfortable with it. I was sure that she knew.

"How did your dress get dirty and torn?" she questioned.

"I fell over a small cliff," I stated.

Mother's eyes narrowed at me, "Go to bed Sharein. Tomorrow we shall go and see Father Mattias."

"Yes Mother," I meekly responded.

"Leave your dress out so that I can mend it before we go," Mother ordered.

"Yes Mother," I again replied before heading to bed. Sleep came very slowly, thoughts of tomorrow worried me, but my last thought was of Shard.

—-

18th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c

—-

I woke from a dream about Shard. It wasn't the same one where we were dancing though. The details were hard to keep, it kept slipping from my memory like trying to catch smoke. We were talking; she was asking me questions about my childhood, my family and my friends. It was a very nice dream at least and it had done a lot to dispel any residual anxiety I had from the previous night. As usual it was still dark out and my little sisters were still soundly asleep when I got up and went outside to make water and freshen up. My dress, mended, was waiting for me when I opened my bedroom door.

Coming back inside I went into the kitchen to help Mother with breakfast.

"Good morning Mother," I greeted her when I saw her.

"Good morning Sharein," she replied flatly, she looked exhausted.

"Are you alright Mother?" I asked, concerned.

"Yes Sharein," Mother answered, sounding slightly more awake, "just tired. It's something you will learn to live with when you have children of your own."

I nodded to her, I felt guilty, I knew that she was worried about me. But how could I tell her that there was no need for worry without violating my oath? I couldn't think of any way to reassure her.

Mother finished kneading the dough she was working on, put it into a bread tin and then into the oven. She then cleaned her hands in a bowl of water and patted them on her apron.

"You know that you can talk to me about anything Sharein, anything at all." Mother said, and I almost believed that I could. Enough that I almost blurted out my one big secret that I could actually share. But I thought, no matter how much Mother believes that she could accept, I just didn't think she could accept that one thing about me.

We continued preparing breakfast in silence. Once we were joined by everyone else, breakfast was eaten in relative silence, from Mother and myself at least. Once breakfast was finished and everything was cleaned and packed Mother, the girls and I made our way into Easthaven and straight to the Church. Some people in Easthaven pointed at me and exclaimed in shock as we passed. We were welcomed at the door by Sister Tera, who expressed shock at seeing me.

"Sharein, by the light, what did you do to your hair?" She exclaimed, "I've never seen hair like it!"

"That's why we are here Sister," Mother answered, "she was in the forest and came home like this, she could tell us what happened. Do you think that she may have been cursed?"

"Cursed?" I almost shouted, "I haven't been cursed."

"Well now," Sister Tera spoke a lot more softly, "that is something that I can discover. Come inside and we shall find out."

I followed Sister Tera inside and into her workroom, with Mother and the girls close behind. Sister Tera indicated for me to sit onto a chair and she sat on another chair she pulled opposite.

"Just relax now and I shall call on Mithras to provide answers." She said quietly.

I sat still, awaiting a reaction as Sister Tera whispered her prayers.

After a moment, without any reaction from her prayer, Sister Tera said "It's not a curse."

Sister Tera looked thoughtful for a moment, "There are two options I can think of at the moment, but I will only do either of them with just Sharein herself present. Would you mind waiting outside?"

"Of course Sister," Mother answered and ushered my sisters out of the room.

"Firstly, before I do anything, I'd like to ask you some questions Sharein." Sister Tera said.

I nodded, unsure, a bit nervous. Sister Tera already knew one of my secrets.

"Do you know how your hair came to be this way?"

"I didn't know that my hair had changed until I got home," I answered truthfully, "but I could guess at what caused it."

"Can you tell me what you think it might have been?"

I shook my head, no.

"Do you want to tell me, but can't?" She asked, "Is something preventing you from doing so?"

I thought about it for a few moments, without my oath to Shard it would be something that I otherwise would have told Sister Tera. I nodded a little.

"I could say a prayer to compel you to tell me the truth…" she began.

"No, you mustn't!" I almost shouted. I didn't know whether her prayer would be more powerful than the oath, but I didn't want to risk it. I didn't want to risk Shard.

"No, Sharein, I shan't. It is something that I would be very reluctant to do to many people, but you especially. Instead I can perform a ritual to commune with Mithras. Mithras shall provide me with answers," she explained.

I nodded a little, unsure. If Mithras provided the answer, then I wouldn't have broken my oath. But I was still wary, I didn't want to make Shard disappointed in me. There was nothing that I could do though, I couldn't tell Sister Tera not to perform her ritual. Sister Tera stood up and made her way to the smaller altar that sat against one side of her workroom. She knelt on a cushion and lit some candles on the altar.

She prayed for a short while before finishing with a much louder "All hail the light."

"All hail the light," I repeated quietly, out of habit.

Sister Tera let out a loud breath as she stood up and made her way back to where I sat. She looked worried, confused.

"It's not a curse," she said, more to herself than me, "but it's not doing you any harm."

Then she spoke to me properly, "Mithras could not provide an answer on the reason for your hair, but she did tell me that it wasn't doing you any harm. So that's something. I must confess that it is causing me some distress, I've never come across something that Mithras herself could not reveal."

She looked at me oddly then, "Sharein. Did you swear an oath?"

My reaction must have confirmed the answer without me saying anything.

Sister Teras eyes went wide, "Did you do it voluntarily? Are you in any danger? Who? No, don't answer that."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Yes and no, I'm not in any danger, quite the opposite."

Sister Tera started to say "Does it have something to do with you…" but corrected herself again, "No, don't worry. You aren't in any danger. That's enough for me. But it does mean that we may need to have a word to Malkarov and see if he can take you as an apprentice early. I shall have a word to your mother and Father Mattias."

Sister Tera stood up, "Come along, I shall let your mother know that there is nothing to fret over."

Together we left Sister Tera's work room and headed back out into the Church proper. Mother was there talking to Father Mattias, with the girls.

Mother looked straight at Sister Tera as we approached and seemed to take our expressions for good news.

"Sharein," she said, handing me some coins, "why don't you take the girls to the bakery and buy yourselves a pastry each? I shall catch up to you shortly."

I looked apprehensively at Sister Tera, but she smiled at me in reassurance.

"Yes Mother." I said to her, "Come along girls."

I herded Illith and Kara out of the Church and towards the bakery.

"You get to keep your hair?" Kara asked me as we walked.

"Yes Kara," I replied, "I get to keep my hair."

"Oh good, I like it." she said, and Illith nodded in agreement.

"Oh my goodness!" I heard someone yell from behind me as I felt my hair being lifted off my back. I frowned and spun around, causing my hair to pull out of their hand (most of it at least).

Brahdi was standing there with a shocked look. "I'd heard somebody say that you went into the church with black hair and I rushed straight down here to find out!" She recovered quickly.

I smiled at her bluntness and she followed up very quickly with a demand, "You must tell me how to do this. I mean, I love my hair, but I'd love to have a change."

"If I knew how to give you hair like this," I said, "I'd love to. But it's a mystery for now."

"How do you not know?" she asked incredulously.

I shrugged, "Sister Tera looked at it and told me that I wasn't cursed. I can't remember it changing."

Brahdi looked quite disappointed for a moment, but brightened back up quickly, "Oh well, at least I'm still one of the few with this hair."

Kara tugged at my dress and I smiled down at her, "Yes Kara. Sorry Brahdi, we are off to the bakery to fetch ourselves some pastries."

"Of course!" Brahdi replied with a smile, "I should probably get back to the chores I was doing when I heard the news, Mother will have a fit if she comes back and finds me not there."

We headed off together to the bakery. Brahdi chatted about the current town gossip as we walked. I tried to ignore the stares of people as we passed.

When we reached the bakery, Brahdi went immediately behind the counter to fetch our pastries.

Just as I was about to pay, I heard Missus Imbier shout from out the back "Brahdi, girl! You haven't finished the kneading!"

Brahdi went wide eyed as I put the copper bits in her hand.

Missus Imbier came through the door from the back rooms and Brahdi just pointed at me. Missus Imbier was a plump woman wearing a big white apron over her dress. Her blonde hair was braided over her shoulder. She looked at me in shock.

"Sharein, dear, what have you done to your hair?" She asked.

I smiled a suffering smile, "I don't know."

The girls were munching on their pastries, dropping crumbs on the floor of the bakery, so I started shooing them out the front door, "Girls, out. You're dropping crumbs on the floor. Sorry Missus Imbier."

"That's all right dear." Missus Imbier said as we left.

Once we got outside and the girls started on their pastries again, I spotted mother coming down the road. We all ate while mother went into the bakery to get herself a pastry and then made our way back to the cart to head home. Mother didn't say anything as we walked, but one we were out of sight of town I tentatively asked her if Sister Tera or Father Mattias had said anything further about my hair.

"Sister Tera said that there wasn't anything to worry about, although she did mention that it might be a good idea to see if we could get you apprenticed to Malkarov, and Father Mattias agreed."

It sounded exciting. I had no wish to be a housewife and no other trades interested me at all. As much as I loved cooking, the Inn didn't need anyone else to help in their kitchen.

Mother glanced at me slyly and added, "I shall have a discussion with Father about it. I have no issue with it, if it is something that you wish to do. However they suggested that you start it before your fourteenth name-day."

I understood mother's unease. Apprenticeships **never** started until the apprentice had had their fourteenth name-day.

Mother continued, "You know that I've never been one to care too much about tradition as such, but this is something I shall definitely have to discuss with Father."

I smiled and hugged her, "Thank-you Mother. It is something that sounds extremely interesting."

"Well," she said, returning the hug, "we shall see."

****AUTHORS NOTE****

Thank you for reading everyone! Please please please leave me a review if you like it, I live for them.  
The fictionpress edition will be updated soon, once I've had a chance to go over the last few chapters to correct and add in a little.

If you are a reader of Emi Chan in Rand-Land, I'd just like to let you know that I've kind of painted myself into a corner that I'm not sure how to get out of. I can't figure out the discussion between Emi, Moiraine, Nynaeve, Elayne and Egwene where it would not influence the canon at all. Bugger. There are things that Emi would definitely say that would provide information to each of them much earlier than they discover it in the books. If Emi returns to Emond's Field, then people there would have information that they wouldn't otherwise (Emi wasn't necessarily going to be returning, but if I went that route then things would be ruined.).

In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying Darkness' Love.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

19th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry everyone. I mixed up the dates a bit and wrote a new chapter to go between the old Chapter 11 and 12. So... this chapter is basically the **same as the old chapter 11. The new chapter 12 will be NEW and the new chapter 13 will be basically the same as the old chapter 12, with only a few differences.  
So... if this is your first time reading, don't worry It will all look like it should. If you *were* caught up, you could just read the new chapter 12 and then either read again or skip chapter 13. Thanks and sorry!  
Please please please review and follow if you like my story. I live for praise!**

I woke up early, as usual and after preparing for the day I took myself off to see Shard in the forest. Mother didn't ask where I was going, but I felt like she knew, I told her that I would be back to help with dinner. The walk was nice, the forest as usual was just as dark as it was the last time I ventured in there, but it no longer felt intimidating or foreboding. It felt safe and welcoming. Maybe it was just the feelings I was experiencing in anticipation of seeing Shard again? I didn't see the dire wolves again, but I did hear them howling nearby. Even that didn't send the shiver of fear down my spine that I would normally have expected. I made my way down the trail near the cliff (I was *not* going to take the quick way down ever again), and entered the clearing.

Shard was there, sitting on the altar. She was frowning and looking down at her swinging feet in consternation. I stood there for a moment, watching her. The longer I stood there, the more the feelings welled up inside of me, filling me until I was fit to burst. These feelings propelled me forward at a run. Shard looked up at the sound and her features lifted into such a joyous mein that I felt must surely be a copy of mine. We crashed together, arms wrapping around each other in such tight embrace it felt like we were trying to squish our two bodies into one. I felt right, correct, like there was nowhere else in the entire world I should every be. The coldness of her body did nothing more than temper the heat inside me, preventing me from combusting into flame there on the spot. I tilted my head back to look at her, and she looked up at me with my movement. Tears were slowly meandering their way down from her slightly upturned eyes, over her defined cheek bones and down her pale cheeks.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned that she might be unhappy about something.

"Nothing at all," she whispered back, her lips curving into an even greater smile, "I'm just so happy you came back."

I lent forward to touch my nose to her dainty and slightly upturned one and my forehead to hers.

"Don't be silly," I admonished playfully, "of course I came back."

"I was afraid you wouldn't," she whispered back, her breath smelling slightly like the Winter's Heart flowers that matched her eyes, "I've been alone here for so very long. I thought that I might have scared you away."

"I can think of nothing you could ever do, that would scare me enough to not return." I reassured her, before giving her a kiss on her forehead.

We broke apart then and she took my hand in hers. She led me towards the altar and we sat down next to each other, hand in hand.

"I was worried that the priestess in town might have forbidden you to come back, or your family," she confided after a moment.

"Sister Terra asked Mithras some questions about the secret I was keeping and realised that I had sworn an oath." I explained, "But once I reassured her that I wasn't in any danger, she worried no longer. But I am to be apprenticed to the Wizard Malkarov, perhaps, earlier than my fourteenth name-day."

"Apprenticed to a wizard!" she exclaimed, "That's fantastic news. The arcane is an important force running through everything, the use of that is a noble profession."

I felt myself blush and she asked "What significance is there of doing this before your fourteenth name-day?"

I looked at her confused, "Nobody gets apprenticed prior to their fourteenth name-day. Ever."

"Oh." she replied with a smile, "So you'll be the first?"

"I might be the first." I corrected, "Depending upon whether or not Mother and Father let me."

"I have some questions," I began, forcing myself to say those words in order to broach a topic I was hesitant to head into.

Her smile faded, and I mentally kicked myself for taking that away from her.

"I thought you might, I would have been wrong about you if you didn't." she said tiredly, she looked wary and almost afraid.

I thought about the questions I wanted answers to, and how to ask them in a way that would not hurt her.

"How old are you? Why are you out here in the middle of the forest?" I asked quickly.

"I'd like to know how old you think I am, if I may?" she asked after a moment of hesitation.

"Well, you look to be about my age, but you aren't from Easthaven and that makes it a little odd that you are out here," I answered.

She took in a deep breath and asked me steadily, "Do you mind if I tell you a story first?"

"Of course not!" I replied, "I do so love a good story."

She lifted her leg up onto the altar and turned to face me, I copied her and she took my other hand as well, looking me in the eyes as she told me the story.

 _Once, long ago, there was nothing but darkness and her name was Tenebrae. She was alone and lonely and desired company. She begged her Mother to create something to end her loneliness and her Mother complied. Mother created Mithras, our world. For a long time it was just Tenebrae and Mithras and they grew close, but Mithras felt barren and empty. She grew to desire more and begged Mother to create something for her to look after and protect. Mother told her that she could be given what she desired, but that it might harm her relationship with Tenebrae. Mithras told Tenebrae of her desires and Tenebrae promised that she would let nothing come between them. Together they begged Mother to create this thing, this 'life' so that they might have something to love and protect. Mother relented, but reminded them that what they get might be more than they wished for. Together they assured Mother that they were alike and resolute in their decision. Mother created light and named her Celestine, the Sun. Celestine shone brightly and wherever her light touched, darkness, Tenebrae was banished. Between the two was Mithras. Tenebrae was incensed and complained to Mother that she had created her complete opposite, that this was not what they desired. Mother told her that she was not yet finished and that life could not be created without Celestine. Tenebrae returned to Mithras, using Mithras to keep her shielded from Celestine's light. They waited as Mother created life. First came the plants, springing up wherever Celestine's light touched. Mithras begged Celestine to shine her light around, so that life could appear everywhere. Celestine happily complied, forcing Tenebrae to retreat from her. When the light from Celestine retreated, Tenebrae's darkness took over and life slowly began to die. Mithras begged Celestine to continue to move so that life could be sustained. Once again Celestine happily complied. Tenebrae grew angry and jealous. Mithras knew that Tenebrae could not exist where Celestine was and Tenebrae felt like she was being replaced. Worse was that life also could not exist where Tenebrae was. Tenebrae's existence killed the thing that Mithras most desired. But Tenebrae had promised that she would let nothing come between them. After the plants came the animals and with them came Man. Time passed and Man grew to love both Celestine and Mithras, thanking both in their prayer. But their prayers to Tenebrae were begging and entreating her not to kill them, they were fearful of her. They wished that Tenebrae would go away and leave them alone. It was not Tenebrae who let Man come between her and Mithras, it was Mithras. Mithras grew to love Man more than she loved Tenebrae. She grew to love Celestine for her part in protecting Man. Mithras began to hate Tenebrae for killing her life, accusing her of not caring for them and for breaking her promise. In a fury she went to Mother and begged her to create something to help her protect Man from Tenebrae. Mother again told her that what what she asked may not be exactly what she wanted but Mithras was determined and asked Celestine for her help to convince Mother. Mother acquiesced and took from Celestine her purity of light. She created from this, Luna, the Moon. Luna could withstand Tenebrae and protect life from her but could not herself, withstand Celestine's light. Now there was Luna between Tenebrae and Mithras. Tenebrae grew angry, but could not approach Mithras for every time she tried to get close, she was prevented by Luna._

 _A great battle they waged, but they were so closely matched that they could not hold sway for long. With Celestine's purity of light gone to make her sister Luna, her light became harsh and dangerous. Too long in Celestine's light and Man began to burn and blister. Celestine no longer loved Man, with her purity gone she neither loved nor hated them, but her light was still required for life._

"This is why, sometimes when you look up into the night's sky, you cannot see Luna." Shard said, "It's because Tenebrae is winning."

I sat there shocked at her story. It was such a far cry from the sermons preached to us by Father Mattias. Tenebrae wasn't some dark and evil force, out to kill everyone. She was merely trying to get back to Mithras, to end her loneliness. It made so much sense.

We continued talking about Tenebrae and Mithras, Luna and Celestine until the early afternoon. I felt no hunger while I was with her, and we did not release our hands from the other's for the entire time. I relayed to her the stories told to us by Father Mattias, and she countered them with stories of her own. So many things we had been taught, I had never thought that there may be another side to. Our discussions veered eventually onto other topics when she began to ask me questions about my life. She asked me about Mari, and I confessed that I felt like I should have been missing her more than I was since she was officially walking out with Tomas, but that I was happy to have Shard here instead.

"I suppose that in a year or so, you will be walking out with a boy from Easthaven also?" she asked me and I felt like I could see a great sadness in her eyes at the prospect.

I didn't even wrestle with the answer for even a moment, which should have shocked me.

"No, I'll never walk out with a boy." I said without hesitation, "I like girls in the way that I should like boys."

A huge weight disappeared from me almost the moment I uttered those words and just as that weight left me the sadness in her eyes disappeared and they shone with what I dared to hope was… hope. I admonished myself. 'Don't be silly Sharein.'

I realised with a start, that it was the first time I had really said it out aloud and as I started to feel even a little anxious, Shard squeezed my hands lightly. I felt grounded with her, I felt unnaturally sure of myself.

"Oh?" she exclaimed, sounding surprised then happy.

"That's good. You can keep coming back here to me forever then," she declared.

"I'd like nothing more," I confessed, blushing all the more and smiling down shyly.

She put one finger underneath my chin and slowly lifted my head so that I was looking her in the eyes again. I felt myself freeze, I was unable to move. She leant a little bit closer to me, our noses were almost touching.

"There are things we can do about that." She whispered, "Later though."

"But now," she said louder, moving back away from me, "it seems that it's about time for you to go."

I looked towards the sun and realised with a start that it was indeed, probably past time for me to go.

It wasn't until after I had regretfully said goodbye, with a promise to return the day after next, and was almost at the farmhouse when I realised that she hadn't actually answered my questions.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

20th - 28th Days of Deep Winter 768 n.c

I woke up missing Shard already. I knew that we wouldn't have a chance to see each other today and it created a pit of emptiness inside of me. But, it was the tenday, the day for heading into Easthaven to go to Church. The day for listening to Father Mattias drone on and on about Mithras and Celestine, whilst trying desperately not to fall asleep. I don't know whether it was just him or whether they taught all Mother's and Father's this particular way of talking when up at the altar? It was completely different to his usual way of talking, that reflected emotion and… tone.

Every tenday I had listened to sermons on Mithras and Celestine, taking them in and believing them. Today would be the first time listening to them, knowing an alternative. I knew that the ones in the past didn't match at all with the stories Shard had been telling me, but I trusted her stories a lot more. I didn't know why, maybe it was because of who was telling them or maybe because they were simply just an alternative. The way she told them to me was different too. Father Mattias preached from Book of Light; Shard recited from memory. Father Mattias was simply reciting what was written, whilst Shard seemed to know; she spoke with conviction.

I listened to Mari tell me all about Tomas on the cart trip into town, I sat next to her nodding in fascination at her stories and exhibiting shocked (mock) outrage at the disclosure that she had kissed him behind the smithy only the day before.

We caught up with Beka and Brahdi before church.

Beka looked at me in shock, reaching a hand out tentatively before stopping and asking my permission to touch my hair.

"Of course you may," I granted, "you know how much I love people playing with my hair."

"I had heard that it had turned black, Sharein." Beka said, "But I could scarce believe it, even when Brahdi told me that she herself had seen it."

Other people walking past stared at me, and at Beka playing with my hair. The news of my hair had probably reached the far flung Shires of Carn by now, but it must have been surprising to people to see it first hand.

Beka and Brahdi filled us in on what had been happening in town (not much), news from the rest of Carn (more battles in Darkholme and the King announcing a call-up of soldiers) and rumours from the rest of Mithras (apparently the Elves and Dwarves were going to war). The last piece interested me greatly, Sister Tera had taught us that the Elves and Dwarves had always had a very rocky relationship with no love lost between them.

Mari filled the other girls in on what she had been up to, less than what she had told me because they had all caught up more recently. Beka was, I think, legitimately shocked at Mari's confession of kissing Tomas. Brahdi's reaction on the other hand even shocked me.

"Did he do the thing where he touches your tongue with his?" she asked.

Beka looked almost like she would faint, I put an arm around her to keep her steady. Mari just went very, very red. Brahdi actually let out a loud laugh at this.

Beka spoke up once Brahdi had calmed down a little, "Honestly! Sometimes I have no idea why we are friends with you Brahdi! Do you have no shame?"

"Shame? Me?" Brahdi laughed, "None. Absolutely none."

The rest of us just shook our heads, even Mari who looked like she was hoping everyone would just forget the last part of the conversation.

"What have you been doing Sharein?" Brahdi asked me. I blinked a little at the direct question, being put on the spot.

"Not a lot. I have been helping Mother and Father and have been taking long walks through the country-side." I answered.

Mari looked at me with narrowed eyes, "Which country-side?"

I must have looked guilty, because when I said "The bit of country-side that isn't our farm.", Mari's eyes got wide.

She whisper-shouted at me "Sharein Askilain! Don't tell me you've been walking through the forest by yourself?"

I looked around in panic at someone overhearing but everyone else was a ways away from us. I let out a small sigh of relief. Looking back at the girls I saw that Beka had her hands covering her mouth in shock but Brahdi was smiling wide trying to suppress a laugh. Mari had her hands on her hips, her accusation confirmed by my panicked response.

"I won't tell you that then." I whispered back at Mari fiercely. It would have been a lie anyway, sure I was walking through the forest by myself but most of my time had been spent with Shard.

Brahdi inhaled very loudly and deeply in shock, "Oooh, ooh oooh." she almost screamed, pointing her finger at me accusingly "She's been meeting someone!"

"What?" I almost screamed. How, by the light, did she know?

"What, by the light, would make you suggest such a thing?" Mari asked.

"Because I notice things." Brahdi replied smugly, "The way she smiled, the way looked when you said 'by yourself', the way she answered."

She turned to me, "So Sharein? Who is he? Is he a merchant's guard or a travelling bard? Oh, is he someone we know?"

I shook my head at her and said with finality, "There is no he Brahdi, now please drop the matter before someone overhears."

Brahdi looked at me shrewdly, then in confusion. "Okay, matter dropped."

"Thank you." I said, gratefully, "I swear Brahdi, you will be the death of us all one day."

"It's time to head in." Beka spoke up, I turned my head to where she was looking and noticed that everyone was heading into the Church.

In church, my family sat on one side of the Meadowbroeks and Tomas' family sat on the other side.

Once everyone was in and settled, Father Mattias began his sermon.

"First, there was Mithras, the Earth Mother. From the mother sprung forth all of the animals and plants. But the animals and plants struggled in the darkness. For in the darkness lived evil and hate and death."

'Oh no.' I thought, recognising the words from the last tenday 'He's doing the same sermon again'.

"That is the nature of darkness. It kills, it hates, it is evil. The only thing that can protect us from this evil is Celestine, the light above. Celestine is life, is love, is goodness. The only path to love is through the light. The only path to goodness is through the light."

'That's not right!' I thought, getting a little angry at the lies being spread, 'Tenebrae loves Mithras! She's not evil.'

I remembered asking Shard about Tenebrae being evil.

 _Tenebrae isn't evil, just as Celestine isn't good. They just_ _ **are**_ _. From the mortal perspective, without Tenebrae everything would burn and die, without Celestine everything would wither and die. Tenebrae knew this, but didn't care, Tenebrae's love was Mithras. Life requires the balance between darkness and light, tip the balance too far in either direction for too long and life will cease._

I wanted to stand up and walk out. But I didn't, I couldn't. So I sat still and tried my darndest to not listen. I was so successful at it, in the end, that even when Father Mattias finished the sermon I didn't notice when everyone around me repeated 'All hail the light'. Mother gave me a look out of the corner of her eye with a slight turn of her head as she noticed my silence. I closed my eyes and let out a very light 'snore'. Mother poked me in the ribs with her elbow and gave me a light smack on my knee. When I opened my eyes, I noticed the smile on her face as she looked up at the altar. I managed to pay just enough attention to repeat 'All hail the light' the rest of the times without actually paying much attention to what Father Mattias was saying, which made time seem to go so very slowly. Eventually it was time to go and I met Beka and Brahdi out the front of the building. Brahdi had to run, she had to get straight to the bakery, but I chatted with Beka for a few moments until Mari and Tomas came straight out walking side by side. They were very subtle, but Mari didn't look overly happy and Tomas appeared to be trying to explain something to her.

"I suspect," Beka stated carefully, "that Mari may be finding out about the other girls Tomas had been walking out with."

"Yes," I agreed, "I hope she is all right."

"I have a feeling that she will be. Tomas never seemed as interested in other girls as he has been with Mari." Beka said with a smile.

Eventually we travelled home, sans Mari who would be escorted home by Tomas' family a little later.

The rest of the day was spent around the house, making dinner and cleaning. As much as I longed to see Shard, we would have the rest of the tenday together.

Each of the next eight days was spent the same. I'd wake up, help Mother with breakfast and head into the forest to see Shard. We'd spend the whole day talking about anything and everything. She was fascinated by my interactions with the other girls. Each morning I was determined to ask Shard questions about who she was, but I could never seem to raise the courage to ask, or find a time that was right. Every afternoon when we parted ways, I kicked myself for not asking. Every night, I replayed the things she told me, putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

Every afternoon when I returned home Mother was a little quieter towards me, a little more withdrawn. I helped with dinner, ate with my family and went to bed. It continued like that every day until the day before the last tenday of Deep Winter.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry everyone. I mixed up the dates a bit and wrote a new chapter to go between the old Chapter 11 and 12. So... this chapter is basically the **same as the old chapter 12. The new chapter 12 will be NEW and the new chapter 11 will be basically the same as the old chapter 11, with only a few differences.  
So... if this is your first time reading, don't worry It will all look like it should. If you *were* caught up, please read the new Chapter 12 and then either read this again or skip it and wait for chapter 14 (not too far away) Thanks and sorry!  
Please please please review and follow if you like my story. I live for praise!**

29th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c

I woke as usual and assisted Mother with breakfast. Father and the boys were about to head out to repair some fences when I let Mother know that I would be going out but would return again to help prepare dinner. Her lack of questioning when I returned every day during this tenday had me a little concerned, not once had she even asked me how my day had been. She seemed to be growing more and more distracted. The simple nod she gave me only increased my concerns today. I put my concerns out of my mind and grew excited at the prospect of seeing Shard again.

I beat Father out the door and almost skipped all the way to the forest's edge. The smell of Winter's Heart cleared my nose and my mind and gave me a sense of a soul cleansing euphoria. I followed the path I had taken the previous day, my excitement growing at each step.

I stepped around a tree at the edge of the clearing and saw her sitting there on the altar. She seemed to be staring intently at something up at the top of the cliff. I was just about to call out to her when her head whipped around and she looked at me in worry and concern. Quickly she put one finger to her lips in a 'shushing' motion and held a hand up to 'stop'.

I nodded to her to let her know that I understood and waiting, watching the top of the cliff when she also returned back to looking there. Presently I was rewarded with a flash of blue from a slim gap between some trees. I looked at the spot curiously but didn't see any more movement. Shard was looking further towards the right, towards the path down. She put her finger to her lips again, then waved me forward. I nodded to her and slowly walked into the clearing.

"Don't talk," she said once I was close, "you are the only one who can see and hear me but some might get a sense that I am here. Your mother is one of those."

I raised one eyebrow questioningly, remaining silent.

"Oh yes." she giggled, "It's definitely your mother, it looks like she has followed you. Sit next to me and remember that she can't see or hear me. She'll be here momentarily."

I sat next to Shard patiently and felt a spark shoot up my arm when she placed her hand over mine. I looked down at my hands in surprise and glanced up at Shard. She returned my shy smile.

"She comes," she whispered and I looked across to the edge of the clearing I had just come from.

Mother walked around the same tree I did to enter the clearing, she looked shocked and pale. Oh so pale. I scared me how pale and fragile she looked.

"Mother?" I asked.

"I'm alright," she reassured me, "it's just a shock seeing it again. And seeing you here."

"What do you mean, seeing it again?" I asked.

Mother approached me and held out her hand. I stretched out my free hand to take hers. The colour seemed to be returning to her face slowly.

"There's something I need to tell you Sharein, I knew this was where you were coming without you even telling me." She began.

"When your Father and I were first married, we tried for a baby. We tried and tried. I could just not hold on to one. I miscarried time after time. I prayed to Mithras, I spent every day in the Church in town, but still it kept happening. Finally, my Mother, your Grandmother brought me here. Into the forest, to this altar. It was dusk when we came on a night when Luna was hidden. My Mother instructed me to stay here all night, praying. To light no candle, no torch, not even a spark; and not to leave, not to stop until sunrise. My Mother came to fetch me at sunrise. The very next week Sharein, you were conceived. She told me that's what she did to have me and that's what her mother did to have her and her mother before her and her mother before her and so on."

"Jocam?" I asked.

"No, your brothers and sisters were conceived and stuck normally. Just like my Uncle Torad. One day, when you find yourself unable to have a baby you will have to do the same." Mother explained.

"Our family has always followed the old ways Sharein," Mother continued, "I don't know who this altar is to, it isn't Mithras' altar. Whoever it is, though, is listening."

Shard was stroking the back of my hand with her thumb, but I dared not look at her, I smiled at mother. Someone is definitely listening.

"Sharein?" Mother asked, "Did you see this place when you cut yourself?"

I nodded to Mother, who let out a sigh of relief and engulfed me in a hug.

"That's a relief Sharein, if I had known, I wouldn't have worried so much," Mother confessed.

Mother kissed me on the cheek, "I had better get back to rescue Father from your sisters. When we go to church tomorrow, Sharein, we shall let Father Mattias know that we approve of your early apprenticeship."

I jumped up off the altar and hugged Mother, "Thank-you!"

Shard stepped off the altar as well to hug me from behind. Sandwiched between Mother and her felt so very comforting. Mother stiffened in my embrace, she stepped back a couple of paces.

"Ooops." whispered Shard from behind me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, not directing the question to either of them in particular.

"I touched her." Shard whispered at the same time Mother said "I felt something, someone else."

Mother looked to the side, as if she had heard a noise and was trying to listen more closely for it. Shard froze behind me, her hands on my hips.

Mother shook her head, "It's an old place here Shard. I felt it too, the night that I prayed for you. Something is here looking out for us, I'm sure of it."

She kissed her hand and placed it on my cheek. It was a sign of affection that she performed only rarely and it set forth a wave of comforting warmth.

"Pick some onion grass from near the second field for dinner when you head home please," Mother said as she started walking back home.

"Yes Mother." I called out as I sat back up on the altar, watching her walk out of sight into the forest.

Shard hopped back up next to me and I felt her entwine her arm in mine and put her hand over mine once again. I felt a pressure as she leaned closer and dropped her head to rest on my shoulder. I tilted my head to rest against her and we stayed like that, silently until we saw Mother wave to me from the top of the cliff. I waved back and she turned to walk away to home.

"Shard?" I whispered.

"Yes?" she answered, just as quietly.

"Did Mother pray to you for me to be born?"

She didn't reply for a few moments until she whispered, even quieter "Yes."

It took me a while to think about the implications of this. Without Shard's intervention, I wouldn't even exist. Everything fell into place, the things she had asked me; the things she had told me. The things mother had just said.

"Shard?" I whispered again.

"Yes?" she answered again, quietly, after a moment of hesitation.

"Are you Tenebrae?"

She didn't answer, so I turned my head to look at her. She was looking down at her lap. My movement made her jerk and look across at me. Even if she was Tenebrae, the God of Darkness, I can't have made up the way I feel everytime we touch. The feelings were true, the way she made me feel. I looked into her eyes and could see the worry, the fear. I needed some way to reassure her. I reached up with my other hand to cup the side of her face, using my thumb to gently stroke her cheek. It was something I remember seeing father do to mother a few times, when I was younger. A sign of reassurance, of affection. I wasn't thinking, when I followed through with what dad usually did. I leant forward and gently placed my lips to hers. I froze on contact, she froze on contact.

I started to panic. Why, oh why did I do that? What if she's disgusted by this? By me? She won't want me to ever come and visit her. She'll push me away. Why isn't she pushing me away? I opened my eyes a crack, and saw her blue eyes opened wide in surprise. Her lips opened a little bit and I felt something brush against the loose hairs at the back of my neck. I started to pull back, but her hand clasped down firmly on my neck, keeping me there. I felt tingles all down my back from the contact, spreading out all over my body. I parted my lips a little and I felt something firm pushing between them, begging them to widen even more. Shard was pushing her tongue into my mouth! I tentatively licked at her tongue and the sensations almost sent my body into shock. Tingles of excitement radiated all over my body, swarming all over but mostly centered around a point between my legs. The feelings were incredible, I felt like nothing else could ever feel as great as this! Our tongues touched each other, twirled around each other. I pushed into her mouth, swiping along her lips as I went past. It was glorious!

Eventually, after an eternity, her hand slid around from the back of my neck to cup my cheek like I was doing to her. We parted a little and I looked down at her gorgeous lips, a little redder and puffier than before. A small thread of saliva still joined our lips together, growing taut as we separated. I let out a few giggles when it finally reached its breaking point and two separate strings latched themselves onto our chins. I brought my hand from Shard's cheek and used it to wipe away the wetness, but when my fingers touched my lips it somehow reminded me of what we had just done. I felt my cheeks getting hotter and Shard started blushing as well. Taking my fingers from my lips, I looked down at them in shock.

I had kissed her. I didn't mean to, I've never ever been that bold. Why did I do that? Does it matter why? Shard kissed me back. Shard. Kissed. Me. Back.

"Yes." Shard whispered.

"Yes?" I asked, louder, shocked at hearing her voice.

"Well, yes and no." she clarified in a normal tone, "I both am and am not Tenebrae. Just as a shard is a sliver from a whole; I am a small part of Tenebrae, separated from the main, with a small part of her power. While I still think of myself as Tenebrae, I am aware that I am only a small fraction of what was... What is."

"And you kissed me back." I blurted out, immediately regretting it. My eyes widened and I wanted to just crawl away and hide in a dark cave for the rest of my life.

She giggled and I felt so much worse. She must have sensed my embarrassment as she stopped her giggles and nodded at me with a smile and kind love-filled eyes. "And I kissed you back."

"What.." I stammered. Obviously my brain had stopped working and words were just flowing freely out of my mouth, "what does it mean?"

"Well…" Shard stretched the word out, "You kissed me. I liked it. I kissed you back. I hope you liked it. If you did, it's an experience I would be more than happy to repeat at any time… maybe for ALL time."

Whatever flickering candle-like flame existed inside my mind fizzled out at her words.

"You would?" I asked, once I worked my way through what she said for the fifth time, "You would want to kiss me more?"

"Don't you?" she asked with a grin that belied the mock expression of shock on her face.

"Of course I do!" I exclaimed, standing up, facing her and taking both of her hands in mine, "Why wouldn't I? You're gorgeous and amazing. Kissing you has to be the single greatest moment of my life!"

Her smile lit up her face and she fair pounced off the altar, arms wrapped around my neck and legs wrapping around my hips. Being bigger than me, she knocked me straight off my feet and I landed on my bottom with her weight resting on my upper legs and the rest of her body held tight against mine. Her hug was only brief and I began to protest when she loosened her hold of me. My protests were cut short when she aligned our faces and her lips once again captured mine.

We parted another eternity later, both panting and flushed. At some point I had fallen backwards so that I was lying on the ground and she was on top of me, legs straddling mine. The pressure of her on top of me just added to the experience.

We spent the rest of the day alternating between talking about anything and everything, and kissing. Kissing standing up, sitting, lying down; side by side, or one on top. Suffice to say, that if it weren't for Shard's ability to heal my injuries, the evidence of how we spent our time would have been blatantly obvious on my lips (and one spot on the side of my neck that left my body almost shaking in pleasure when Shard decided to try something new on the last occasion.)

It was Shard that had to remind me that it was time for me to go, to collect onion grass on the way home and that I wouldn't be seeing her on the morrow as I had to go to church.

I stopped in shock as I stepped out of the forest.

How was I going to go to church to pray to Celestine when I was kissing Tenebrae the Goddess of Darkness?


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

30th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c

We had just finished a delicious breakfast of fried potato cakes, sausages, eggs and bacon and I had helped Mother clean up ready to leave for church. Father, instead of being out getting the horses ready had sent Jocam, Daavid and Jara to do so. He was still sitting at the kitchen table. Dishes finished, Mother bustled Illith and Kara off to wash up and get ready.

"Sharein?" Father called to me as I was about to follow them, "Have a seat for a moment."

Tentatively, I sat down at the table, wondering if I had done something wrong; if Mother had told him about my visiting Shard's altar.

"Yes, Father?" I prompted, once I had sat.

He looked worried about something and didn't speak for a few moments.

Finally he said "Mother tells me that you have been offered an apprenticeship with the Wizard Malkarov. That you may start this, even before you have reached your fourteenth name day."

"Yes Father." I answered, worried at what was to come next.

"You are my eldest child Sharein. You might be a girl, but you are still my first born," he sighed and chuckled to himself wryly, "I had expected the better part of a year to prepare. Whenever you expressed a disinterest in the boys in Easthaven my heart leapt a little thinking that I wouldn't lose you. I knew it would happen eventually, of course, but I hoped it wouldn't for a bit longer. It makes me feel old, Shar."

I smiled warmly at his not-oft used nickname for me, my worry eased a little. This wasn't the sort of conversation he'd have with me if he intended to forbid it.

"I just want to know," he continued, "is this what you want, what you really want? The life of a wizard seems to be a lonely one, apart from everybody else. Do you really want to be Malkarov's apprentice?"

"Sharein's going to be a wizard!?" came the shout from the doorway to the bedrooms as Illith burst into the room.

I looked at her in shock, then back to father.

"Yes." I said, "that's what I want."

"All right then. Your Mother and I will have a word with Father Mattias before church." Father answered as he stood up. I stood up also; and was swamped by hugs from Illith, Father, Mother and Kara (who didn't seem to know what was going on, but never missed an opportunity for hugs).

Mari and I talked about inconsequential things for the first part of our trip into Easthaven, she seemed distracted though, looking frequently at the front where Mother and Missus Meadowbroek were in discussion.

Eventually though she turned back to me and whispered "Have you?"

Having absolutely no idea what she was talking about I responded "Have I what?"

"Have you met someone?"

Oh. With all the discussion this morning about my upcoming possible apprenticeship with the Wizard Malkarov, I'd managed to distract myself from the worry about Church and kissing Shard. Now that Mari had me thinking about it, my worries disappeared and were happily replaced by the fact that yes… I had met someone, and I spent the better part of yesterday kissing her senseless (and being kissed senseless in kind by her!)

Mari's sharp deep breath of realisation (and sudden clapping of both hands over her mouth) brought me back to reality, it also brought the attention of both of our Mothers onto us. Thankfully, they just laughed to themselves and went back to their discussion. I buried my face into my hands and peeked out at Mari through my slightly spread fingers.

"Who is she?" Mari asked quietly, "Is she from Easthaven?"

"I can't say." I whispered back. "But no, she isn't."

"Have you?" She began.

I prompted, "Have I what?"

"Have you kissed her?"

My blush must have been answer enough, for she let out a little squeal.

"I must apologist to Brahdi today, there is something to this paying attention thing after all." she giggled to herself. "What was it like?"

I thought about it for a moment, "Like nothing else. Like time stopped and nothing else existed. I've never felt that way before in my life."

And then I realised, and remembered who I was talking to. While kissing Shard was just so indescribable, the kiss from Mari was the only thing that came close.

"Well, almost never. Kissing family, or my cousin that one time was just… how do I put this?" I pondered.

I thought for a moment, "Water. Actually, kissing Brahm was more like stagnant water. Kissing you was like drinking rum before the Long Night. Kissing Sh.. her is like… oh. What tastes better than rum? What's stronger and takes your breath away better?"

Mari seemed to love my analogy, she laughed a little when I described my one foray into kissing boys as akin to drinking stagnant water.

"It's okay Sharein," Mari said, smiling, "I know exactly what you mean. For me, kissing you was like that sweet wine that Mother let us try this this past Spring. But kissing Tomas was whatever tastes better than rum for me."

I smiled in return, I was glad that kissing me wasn't like drinking stagnant water for her.

When we got to Easthaven, Father immediately set off in the direction of the church, leaving the care of the horse and cart to Jocam, Daavid and the Jara.

"Father says that you may be apprenticed to the Wizard Malkarov by the end of the day." Jocam said to me as we walked up to the church, slightly apart from everyone else.

"I very much hope so." I answered. As the eldest son, Jocam wouldn't usually do an apprenticeship as he would likely take over the family farm. Whilst Mother was a lot less traditional than Father, it would be unlikely that she would interfere with Father's decisions when it came to my brothers. Unlikely, but not impossible. "Would you be happy with the farm, or is there an apprenticeship you would rather do?"

He let out a little laugh, "I haven't really thought about it, but I think yes. The life of a farmer would suit me quite well. It's… comforting knowing that I don't have a lot of choice in the matter. Having to think about what I'd like to do for the rest of my life? I feel sorry for our brothers."

Whilst it was a little uncommon for girls to do an apprenticeship, the vast majority forewent it in favour of marriage. For boys it also wasn't that uncommon for them to have apprenticeships picked out for them by their fathers, but I didn't see Father ignoring their desires in that choice.

"What do you think would suit them?" I asked.

Jocam laughed, "If you asked them at the moment Daavid would say 'soldier' and Jara would copy him. There might be a blacksmithing apprenticeship available for one of them when they come of age."

"I have a feeling that Illith and Kara will both marry, although both are interested when Mother sews, so one might show an interest in a dressmaking apprenticeship." I told him.

We noticed Father heading towards us, he smiled at me as he got closer.

"I had a word with Father Mattias, he's asked me to go to the Wizard Malkarov's tower to request a meeting at the end of today's service. I have to hurry to get back in time for the service myself." He said, touching me briefly on the shoulder before hurrying off in the direction of the wizards tower.

Whilst the church was the biggest building in Easthaven, the Wizard Malkarov's tower was the tallest. It stretched up at least twice the height of the two-story Pig and Wheelbarrow Inn and made entirely of stone. It was not often anybody had any cause to go there, but it could be seen from almost any part of Easthaven.

It wouldn't take long for Father to get there, it was the closest building to the church, Father should make it back in time for service. This actually got me thinking about something else, I had never considered before. Everybody in Easthaven attends the tenday service; even visiting merchants, guards, bards, soldiers. Everybody, that is, except for the Wizard Malkarov. A thousand different reasons for this flitted through my head, but I dismissed all of them. I could probably guess all day long and never come closer to the truth than I could get by just asking him. Of course, I don't even know what sort of master he will be. Time will tell, I suppose.

Church was both horrible and fantastic at the same time. Everytime I started worrying about getting struck down by a column of light from the heavens my mind moved quickly on to the reason for this worry. Kissing Shard, kissing Tenebrae. Which made me remember how absolutely wonderful it was to be kissing Shard. Inevitably a little bit of Father Mattias' droning would filter through my daydream and I'd start worrying again. It was an embarrassing cycle, alternating between anxiety and euphoria, on and on throughout the morning service. Mother must have noticed, because at one point she put her hand on mine and quietly asked if I was all right. She surprised me a little, but I nodded that I was fine and went straight back to my thoughts.

The service ended, with me repeating "All hail the Light" at the appropriate moments without being struck down by a vengeful God. It was a relief, to be honest. The first time I repeated the prayer I did so wincing in anticipation of something horrible.

Father Mattias called to us as we stood up to leave the church. Father instructed Jocam to take the children to the bakery to buy danishes with instructions to wait at the commons paddock for our return. Together; Father Mattias, Mother, Father and I walked out of the church towards the Wizards Tower. It was an imposing structure, stretching far up into the sky looking impossibly high the closer we got to it. It went straight up, with green lead welded windows set at intervals around it on each of four levels. The stone was dark, set together without any sign of mortar that would usually be used to glue stone together, the edges of each block fitting together so tightly that it almost appeared to be one piece. The front door was of arched dark wood, with two thick bands of metal holding it to hinges, with a large door knocker set into the middle that resembled some sort of demonic creature. The creature had bats wings fixing it to the door, with pointed ears, a bulbous nose and held a large metal ring in it's fanged mouth.

Father Mattias, with a chuckle, strode forward and flicked it's nose before reaching for the ring. Before he could pull the ring back to knock, however, the great door swung open of it's own accord. What appeared on the other side did not match up with my expectations at all. What I thought might be a dark and dingy space was instead wood panelled and inviting. Bright carpets rested atop a polished wooden floor with comfortable looking chairs, tables and small lamps or vases atop them. Paintings dotted the walls, as well as a very large framed map opposite the entryway. The room was very well lit, with glowing crystals set onto the walls and hanging from the beams of the roof, lighting every section of the room with a soft white glow.

"Come in, come in!" came a voice from inside.

Together we all entered the Wizard's Tower. Inside, being able to see everything all at once, was amazing. There was so much to look at, so many things that weren't obvious from the outside. The paintings themselves were incredible; some were portraits of people dressed in finery, some were landscapes (One of a beautiful city made of curved, flowing, white stone nestled amongst a forest drew my attention immediately), shelves dotted some walls containing small curious momentos.

Father Mattias smiled at the looks of wonder my parents and I all shared, "It's a bit much, isn't it?" he chuckled.

I couldn't help exclaiming "It's marvelous!"

"I'm glad you think so." came a rich voice from beside us. We all swung our heads around in surprise.

The Wizard Malkarov was standing halfway up a set of wooden stairs that curved around from the left of the door up higher into the tower. He wasn't an old man (the bard's stories always describe wizards as being old with long white beards), probably around his fortieth name-day. He had short brown hair and a brown goatee style beard, he wore long blue robes with silver edging showing strange arcane looking symbols. He was smiling too, something that seemed to contradict the preconception I had of the mysterious powerful wizard.

"Well now," he said as he made his way down the steps, "please have a seat everyone and lets get started."

We all sat down on the seats spread around the room and the Wizard joined us, smoothing out his robes as he sat.

"So," he began looking directly at me with, "you want to be a wizard?"

I swallowed my nerves, "Yes sir."

He smiled at me kindly "None of this 'sir' business. Call me Malkarov, or this whole experiment will be very awkward. It's been a very long time since I've had an apprentice and I was quite prepared not to ever have one again."

I held my breath as he continued "But Father Mattias has called in a favour I owed him."

He smiled wryly and Father Mattias chuckled lightly "However, I cannot teach someone who has no aptitude."

He reached into a pocket in his robe and withdrew with a flourish a scroll tied off with a ribbon and sealed with a red wax stamp. This scroll he passed to me and I accepted it carefully, holding it gently. Did this old piece of parchment hold the secrets to magic?

I looked at Malkarov expectantly and he said with a smile "Open it and read it aloud."

I put my thumb nail under the wax seal and lifted it very carefully. It peeled away from the parchment easily and I unfurled the scroll. Black ink spelled out unfamiliar words written in a jagged script. I read over the scroll in my head first of all, sounding out the strange combinations of letters. Once finished I began reading out loud. I had to guess at most of the pronunciation. Once I had finished, I looked in amazement as the words on the scroll started to fade. Within moments they had disappeared completely and once they had, the scroll itself started to turn into dust in my hands, falling through my fingers only to disappear before it could hit the floor. Mouth agape I looked at Malkarov, Father Mattias and my parents. Father Mattias and Malkarov were both smiling at me widely, my parents on the other hand were staring at me, mirroring my shock. I looked back at my hands, then back at them only to realise that they weren't looking at where the scroll was once held in my grasp but instead were staring near my right shoulder. Confused, I turned my head and almost blinded myself. I recoiled and squinted my eyes. A whispy ball of white light sat bobbing in the air above my chair, it's movements were slow but regular, drifting up and down. It's light matched that coming from the crystals around the room and it was difficult to tell how bright it was unless I looked directly at it, but it was a magical light.

"Did I…" I stuttered, "Did I do that?"

"Yes." Malkarov answered, "Well; you, the scroll and magic did it. But I will teach you all about that once you've started your apprenticeship. Congratulations Sharein, you have a talent for magic."

Excitement welled up inside me. I was going to learn magic!


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

30th Day of Deep Winter 768 n.c

We discussed the idea of starting my apprenticeship prior to my fourteenth nameday. Malkarov had no reservations about it, so it was decided that I would start in a tenday. On the tenth day of Late Winter I would move into this marvelous tower to begin learning magic. I was to stay here, in this tower for the next five years. Malkarov would allow me two days off every tenday. I could return home early on each ninth and return back after church on the tenth. I was tremendously excited, but at the same time torn that I wouldn't be able to see Shard as much as I had been. This thought rained on my excitement like a Late Spring storm. Like most apprentices, I would start off mostly with cleaning and learning the basics. Malkarov mentioned that at the end of my apprenticeship I would be presented to the Mages Guild in Castlemere for evaluation and the option to continue training in whichever field interested me. At some point the little floating ball of light disappeared and I felt a little disappointed at it's passing, it was my first piece of magic.

Once we finished our discussion and my head felt like it would explode with all of the information provided, we bid Malkarov a good day and left his tower. We all thanked Father Mattias for his help but he waved it off as just part of his duty. Once we bid him a good day, we picked up my siblings from the bakery and headed home. Once Jocam asked me if I was going to be a wizard, none of my other siblings could contain their excitement. I was bombarded by questions, one after the other. Many I could not answer, but my admission that I had cast a spell by reading it from a scroll almost made some fall off the cart in excitement.

When we reached the farm, I asked Mother "Do you mind if I don't help you with dinner tonight?"

Mother gave me an appraising look, "That will be alright Sharein, it's been an exciting day and if this is something you have been... wishing for then giving thanks in the same way is the right thing to do."

"Thank you, Mother," I answered with a smile. She may have misinterpreted the situation, but I suppose it all amounted to the same thing. Ironically, I'd spent most of the day wishing that I could kiss Shard again, so thanking her by giving her kisses did sound like the right thing to do.

I almost ran to the clearing in my excitement, Shard was standing in front of her altar poking something in the air. I paid no notice to this and jumped straight into her arms, knocking us both to the ground. My lips quickly met hers and didn't depart for such a long, long time. At some point, my legs had shifted from either side of her hips and we were laying on our sides, legs intertwined and my hand wrapped up in her hair.

When we did eventually break we lay next to each other panting with Shard looking at me like I was the most delicious feast provided just for her to eat, she swept a stray bit of hair behind my ear.

"I'm going to be a wizard," I whispered to her, once I caught my breath enough to do so.

Her face lit up in a huge smile and she let out a squeal, "I'm so proud of you!"

"I'm not going to be able to see you much. I shall be in Easthaven and only home one day every tenday," I said sadly.

"I've been here for a very, very long time Sharein," Shard said with a smile, "I'm nothing if not patient."

"I'm not," I frowned and pouted at her.

She responded by kissing the pout away. Then kept kissing, long after the pout had gone.

We lay there in the clearing, Shard was on her back and I was curled up in her arms with one leg over hers. I breathed in her refreshing scent and nuzzled against her jaw.

"Shard?" I whispered.

"Mhm." She murmured.

"Mithras has priests and priestess. Does Tenebrae?" I asked.

"I used to. A long time ago," she answered wistfully, "before I became… me. I still do, in some respects. The gods, we are powers. We represent certain… ideas or concepts. When Tenebrae is prayed to, Tenerebrae's power is increased. When mortals come up with a new name, a new power for a concept that already exists the power separates. The Dark Elves began praying to Iiskandiir, who represents both them as a people but also darkness. Part of Tenebrae separated to create Iiskandiir, but that part is still in a way a part of Tenebrae. When the Dark Elves pray to Iiskandiir, Tenebrae receives part of the power as well as Iiskandiir. In a way, Iiskandiir is Tenebrae's daughter but still a part of her… me. Many different races and peoples have new gods and goddess' who reflect part of my power so I receive power from their prayers, but very few worship Tenebrae as Tenebrae anymore. There's a cult in Darkholme that pray to Tenebrae regularly, but none of them have dedicated themselves to her priesthood."

"They pray to you?" I asked curiously.

She smiled at me, "They pray to Tenebrae. I told you that I'm a part of Tenebrae, a part of Tenebrae's power. Mine is a strange existence. I'm protected, as I am. My power does not wane as Tenebrae is forgotten, but it does increase slightly with the prayers to the other Powers. I still have a… link to the main power that is Tenebrae, I can hear? Feel? The prayers of the faithful, but not as much as I did, as she does. I suppose, that as I am at the moment, I am akin to the other Powers that are Tenebrae's children. When you first prayed to me at my altar; when the wolves were after you, Tenebrae heard your prayer just as I hear the prayers to her, but it was my power that healed and protected you."

We fell silent for a while, comfortable in our closeness. I thought over all of what Shard had said, what it all meant.

As soon as I thought of the question, I asked it; without further thought, "Shard. How does one dedicate themselves to Tenebrae?"

She moved her head to the side and turned it to stare at me in shock. She opened her mouth, about to say something, then closed it again and looked at me searching my eyes. "Are you… do you want?"

"Well," I stalled as I tried to think, "firstly I'd like to know how it happens. Secondly, I'd like to know what it would mean to you, to me and you. Thirdly, I'd like to know what it would mean for me. Learning magic was Father Mattias' second suggestion for me, his first would have been the priesthood had I the calling to serve Mithras."

When I listed the first reason, Shard looked curious. When I listed the second, she began to look ridiculously happy and… proud? When I listed the third for some reason she looked a little smug. As I described what Father Mattias had told me she simply nodded.

"He sounds like a very wise man, your Father Mattias." Shard said, "But I would expect no less from a priest. A dedication to Tenebrae usually happens on the longest night of the year. With dedication comes great gifts, but also a great sacrifice must be made. Her priests give up their sight for an entire year and once completed and the sight returned, they are able to see in darkness. All darkness, for that is Tenebrae's domain. The words of the dedication are nothing to worry about, they come just as your prayer came. It is a lifetime of service to the dark, it is not something to be discarded, ever. It's not a job that can be moved on from. It is a… service. Those who dedicated themselves to Tenebrae, put themselves in service to her, swear to always do her will. As for us, well, I am Tenebrae in most senses. For you to dedicate yourself to me would be very one sided. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have a priestess again; but any relationship, especially one like we are slowly building needs to be more equal than that."

Impulsively I said "I don't care! I'd marry you, if we could."

Then I blushed, embarrassed with myself. I shouldn't have just come out and said that, even if it was how I felt, deep down

"I love you Shard, more than I ever thought I could love anyone else. We've been as much as walking out together," I justified, slightly shocked at my own admission. She looked shocked too, shocked but happy. Her eyes welled up with tears.

"Oh, sweet heart, I love you too." she confessed and her words lit such a bonfire of happiness inside of me that I thought at any moment that I would just burst into flame.

We came together so quickly, with such passion that stoked the fires inside of me to even greater heights. Her cold cold lips burned and I lost myself in the conflagration that she started.

Her fingers, when they trailed down my side to my hip left scorching trails and eventually, when she lifted her leg up between mine to press against my centre I felt such a bursting shuddering explosion all through my body. She stopped kissing me then and drew back a little. She looked slightly guilty.

As the waves slowly passed, I looked at her and exclaimed "What was that?!"

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be sorry!" I reassured her, "That was… amazing, incredible!"

She looked reassured, slightly. I leant forward to give her the most sweet and tender kiss I could manage.

"I love you Shard. I love you, I love you, I love you," I repeated. Every time I said it, her guilt seemed to dissipate, so I kept saying it. Eventually she lay there with the biggest grin on her face and just the look in her eyes showed me that she loved me too.

"I love you too," she stated and I closed my eyes putting my forehead to hers, relishing our closeness.

"Would I have to give up my apprenticeship?" I asked, my mind already made up.

"I'd never ask you to do that," she replied, "but, priestess may not be the most ideal path for you."

I opened my eyes and jerked back slightly more angrily than I felt.

"Uh uh," she said, raising a finger for me to wait, "there is one other dedication that I never thought to use. It is one that I desire most, but to convince Tenebrae of it would be a battle and a lot of work."

I looked at her questioningly and she continued "There are priests and priestess' of the gods, all of them. But sometimes a mortal comes along that is gifted even more. They are… champions of the powers, for lack of a better word. Chosen, maybe. In all the ages, Tenebrae has never chosen one. Never. It would be an uphill battle, that is for sure, she can be a little jealous of her power… But I can be a little jealous too and I don't think I could cope with you dedicated to her, even if she is me and I am her."

I was a little confused still, about how Shard's existence worked and she giggled a little before adding "it's complicated. As much as I am her and she is me, we are still a little separate and I am finding that I don't want to share you. Even with myself."

"How does this champion chosen thing work, how is it different?" I asked.

"The champions can say no," she explained, "A priest or priestess that doesn't follow the will of their god can have their power removed, cut. The severing of this access leaves them with a hole inside that can never be filled, unless they make amends and re-dedicate themselves. Only if their god allows it. A chosen one, can never have their access cut. It's why Tenebrae has never done it, after Mithras chose the mortals over her she swore never to grant them this gift. She swore never to allow a mortal such as position. Also, Mithras has been very… liberal with granting this gift to her faithful, which only makes it worse. Which is why it will be so hard to change her mind."

"How will you change her mind?" I asked, curious.

"It will be difficult, but I'll visit her. I'll have to go, though," she replied.

"Go?" I asked, suddenly afraid at the implications of that idea.

She closed her eyes and let out a pained sigh, "Yes. Once you leave, which better be soon as it's almost night time, I'll go to visit her. It's going to take a while, a long while. Are you sure this is what you want?"

"How long is a long while?" I asked. I was worried, very worried, "I feel like I couldn't bear to be apart from you for even a tenday. But if it's something that will bring us closer in the long run, I'll manage."

"At least until High Summer, likely longer but not past Early Winter. I'll definitely be back before the Longest Night, much earlier if there is no hope of convincing her. The longer I'm gone, then more hope for a better outcome," she explained and I felt an overwhelming sense of worry.

Almost a year? Almost a year I could be apart from her? Despite the feelings of dread, I thought of the reward. I could be Shard's chosen! I could be closer to her, to Tenebrae.

I summed up my courage and nodded, "Please?"

"As you wish," she said simply ad we fell into each other's embrace.

As I walked home, I felt torn and conflicted. I had stopped at the top of the cliff and blew her a kiss, that she returned. I hadn't wanted to turn away from her. I memorised the scene down below. Her last words, before I left the clearing giving me some solace.

"Please come here to my altar and pray to me, I'll still be able to hear you but I won't be able to answer."

That night, lying in bed I remembered the closeness that Shard and I shared, the love I felt for her and the pain I felt at being separated from her for who knows how long. Thinking of her, trying to feel closer, I put my hand down between my legs and I discovered that I could recreate that feeling. Even if it wasn't even a part of the gift she gave me.


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

1st - 9th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

The first tenday without Shard was horrible for me. The first day, I visited her altar and spoke to her for most of the day; but without any reply it was different. It was comforting to know that she heard me, but I was missing her stories and… her. I walked dejectedly back to the house that afternoon feeling an oppressive weight of loneliness. I wanted her back, but at the same time I knew that if she were to come back sooner it would mean that Tenebrae wouldn't take me on as her 'chosen'. Mother noticed the change in me when I returned and as we were cutting vegetables for dinner, she sent Illith and Kara to pick some herbs.

"Is something wrong Sharein?" She asked me, "Are you having second thoughts about your apprenticeship?"

"Oh no, Mother, I'm looking forward to my apprenticeship." I told her, searching for a way to put into words what I was feeling, "It's just… a lot of things have happened very quickly. It will just take a bit to come to terms with it all."

I gave her a fake smile, which I'm sure she saw straight through.

"If anything is bothering you, you know you can talk to me about it?" She reassured me.

"Yes Mother, thank you," I said as I gave her a quick hug. I was thankful that she didn't hold on to me long, as I felt on the verge of tears already.

The rest of my days visiting Shard were shorter and shorter, I told her how I was feeling but then immediately followed it with reassurances that I'd be alright, that the first part was surely going to be the hardest. By the sixth day of Late Winter I had taken to only visiting Shard's altar for a brief period in the mornings, but then walking to Easthaven to visit Mari, Brahdi and or Beka. They were all very excited about my news that I would soon be apprenticed to Malkarov when I told them all together on the sixth day.

"But, you've not yet had your fourteenth name day!" Beka exclaimed.

"Will you learn how to turn people into frogs?" Brahdi asked, "Ooh, or beetles! No! No! Birds! Could you turn me into a bird?"

Mari simply gave me a hug and whispered "I'm so happy for you," in my ear.

I gave Mari and smile before I burst into giggles at Brahdi's antics.

"I'm not sure Brahdi, I imagine that I'll have a lot to learn. The apprenticeship will go for five years," I told them.

"Five years?" Brahdi almost shouted.

I let out a small sigh at her loudness and quickly looked around to see how much attention she had drawn, "Yes, five years. I imagine that there is much more to learn to become a wizard than in most other occupations. And yes; Beka, I know I haven't had my fourteenth name day but special circumstances require it."

Beka looked a little put out by that, almost angry.

"You've never really cared about the rules or tradition, why should an apprenticeship make a difference?" she spit out.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, shocked. Beka never spoke like this to me, "What rules, what traditions?"

"Ever since you skipped out on class that time to go look at tadpoles in the creek and never got into trouble for it, you've never cared about the rules," Beka retorted.

"I'd forgotten about that," I mused, and I had. I was about seven or so, I had seen some of the town boys looking at them before church and wanted to look also but we were hurried on. I had skipped the church class and went out to investigate. Nobody came looking for me until church had finished, but once informed of my disappearance Mother immediately came down to get me. I didn't get into trouble, but I did get a long talking to about the importance of not wandering off and being where Mother thought I was. She wasn't really concerned about actually skipping the class as such. We even caught some to take home and watch.

"Some rules I care about, that are there for a good reason," I added, "but traditions not so much, why should everyone have to wait until their fourteenth nameday to start their apprenticeship? Jocam is already learning farm-work and that's basically an apprenticeship."

Beka looked thoughtful at this and her anger started to deflate. There must have been some other reason she got angry so suddenly.

"This isn't about my apprenticeship is it Beka?" I asked shrewdly.

She broke into tears at my words, so we all engulfed her in hugs. Once she had calmed a little, we moved away from the road to sit down underneath a tree so that we could be away from other people.

I waited for Beka to calm down enough to talk to us, but Brahdi prodded her "What's wrong Beka?"

She sniffed a bit and was silent for a moment until she started talking. Once she did start, the dam broke and her words tumbled out in a rush, "I don't want to just marry someone and be a mother. I'm the eldest of us girls, so whoever I marry shall expect to take over Father's store. Before my nameday I asked Father for permission to go to the College of Mithras in Castlemere to become a Sister, but he refused, he forbade me. He told me that if I wanted to do something I could wait for a dressmaker's apprenticeship, or a cooks!"

"Oh Beka!" I exclaimed and held her tightly in another hug, she sobbed into my shoulder as the other girls held us tight. I was a bit shocked to be honest, I had no idea that she felt so strongly about this as she had never let on. She was a very private person though, usually not sharing very much about what went on inside her head.

"I'm so sorry Beka," Mari whispered as she cried.

"Have you spoken to Sister Tera about this?" Brahdi asked, "She might be able to talk to you father."

Beka shook her head before vocalising a quiet "No."

"That's a very good idea!" Mari said, sounding quite shocked.

Brahdi broke from the hugs and stepped back, placing her hands on her hips, "What do you mean that's a good idea?! Do you think I can't have good ideas?"

Beka started shaking in my arms and I thought for a second that she might be crying more, but then she burst out with laughter. The laughter only made Brahdi look more cross but Beka's laughter was infectious and we were all soon rolling on the ground laughing.

"Do you not want to get married?" Mari asked Beka.

There was a long pause, I glanced across to see Mari looking at Beka suspiciously. Mari glanced across and me and our eyes met very briefly before she blushed and looked back at Beka.

"Someday," Beka said, "but being a mother isn't the only thing I want to do with my life. I know that if I went to the College to become a Mother then I wouldn't be able to marry or have children, but some Sister's do. But of course, once I became a sister I would only be able to come back to Easthaven if something happened to Sister Tera."

Every day after I visited the girls, in the morning I would sit on the altar and tell Shard about what we discussed as well as updating her about the gossip in town. Talking to the girls helped alleviate some of the sadness that was creeping in from the temporary loss of Shard's presence.

On the ninth day, I was sitting on the altar telling Shard about the previous day and telling her how much I missed her. Tears dropped on the black stone. Suddenly I heard a twig crack and I swung my head around to see Mother standing there at the edge of the clearing.

"Sharein, why did it sound like you're talking to someone?" she asked, as she walked towards me with a very concerned demeanor.

Oh poo! I tried to think back on what I was saying, but I had just been letting the words flow without even thinking about them. I could hardly recall what I had even said!

Mother got closer before she continued, "I heard you talking about your day and about Beka visiting Sister Tera, but then you said 'I love you and I miss you'. Who do you miss Sharein?"

Double Poo! I still couldn't tell Mother about Shard and I didn't want to lie to her.

"Uh… I miss Mari," I said weakly, thinking on my feet, "now that she's walking out with Tomas, I've not been able to spend much time with her and it shall be less once they marry."

"Oh honey," Mother said before enveloping me in a hug, "that's what happens as we get older. We see less and less of the friends of our youth. But you'll meet a boy soon enough and you won't want to pay attention to anyone except for him. Then you'll have children of your own and your heart will grow to make room for them as well."

"I don't think that will ever happen Mother," I said quietly, weakly. Wishing that I could be strong enough to tell her that I knew it would never happen.

Mother simply smiled at me with her knowing smile, "It will darling, it will."

She put her arm around me and started leading me out of the clearing, "You need some cheering up. Why don't we make some honey cakes for after lunch?"

That did help a little; after all, honey cakes were delicious.

AUTHORS NOTES:

Sorry for the short chapter, it's a filler until Mari starts her apprenticeship. The next one should be much much longer.

Thanks for the review Drouppi! I know where the story is heading and am excited about fleshing out my world for my readers!

Please, if you like the story, please please please just leave a review! Even just a quick thanks means a lot to me.  
Thanks to everyone who's following and favouriting! That means so much as well :)


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

10th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I awoke early from dream that at the time felt wonderful, but in waking turned to heartache, anxiety, excitement and a whole host of other emotions that whirled around inside of me. The dream, from what I could recall; featured Malkarov and my rapidly approaching apprenticeship but also included Shard. Waking from it only reinforced our separation and highlighted my worries and concerns at what my immediate future might include. Today was definitely going to be a different day for me, a day of firsts. My first day as an apprentice, my first night ever sleeping in a bed somewhere other than our house and my first time living with someone other than my immediate family (among the innumerable little firsts that are likely to occur).

I got ready for my day quickly and went out into the kitchen to find that I had, in fact, woken earlier than Mother. After getting ready, I banked the kitchen oven fire and started to prepare things for breakfast. I pulled out some dried sausages from the pantry and was slicing them into small pieces when Mother came out into the kitchen.

"Good morning Sharein, are you preparing a fry up?" she greeted me.

I had considered it, but we had an excess of eggs left over from the start of winter and the hens had just started laying again.

"Egg turnovers, I thought," I told Mother.

I loved egg turnovers when we had plenty of eggs to use. You whisked up the eggs in bowl along with some sausage, bacon, winter tomatoes and cheese. You then poured some of this mixture onto the frying pan until it was half cooked and then turned one half onto the other. Once the bottom was cooked, you flipped it over and finished the other side. It was a delicious meal, and one of my favourites for breakfast. I would have liked to have used summer tomatoes had it been the right time of year, but winter tomatoes had a similar flavour even if their flesh was white rather than red. I finished the sausage and moved onto the bacon as mother started cracking eggs into the bowl, then I worked on chopping up the winter tomatoes. Mother started whisking up the eggs, so I took down a round of cheese and started cutting off small slivers of cheese. Once the whisking was done all of the other ingredients were added to the eggs and mixed around a little more. The frypan was placed directly onto the metal plate that rested on top of the fire with a little piece of butter to grease it. I poured a little bit of mixture onto the frypan and sat on my haunches watching the egg slowly cook from the bottom up. Once it had cooked sufficiently, I slipped a spatula underneath one edge and flipped one side over the other.

"You'll have to pack everything you might need before we head to church," Mother reminded me.

"Yes Mother," I answered her, wondering how I should take them.

As if reading my mind, Mother stated "Your Father has an old pack, you can pack your things into there and take it with you."

"Thank you Mother," I replied, flipping the egg turnover to ensure the other side was properly cooked.

Once the egg turnover was cooked on the bottom I lifted it up onto a metal plate and put the plate on the high rack to keep warm. I added a little more butter into the pan and poured another portion of mixture. I hadn't noticed her go, but I did notice Mother return with an old leather backpack. It was well worn, with two straps to go over shoulders and a flap on the top to keep the opening protected.

"Here," she said, presenting me with the pack with a smile, "I'll finish making the turnovers, you pack the bag and wake your sisters."

I accepted the pack eagerly with thanks and went into our room to pack my belongings. Three dresses (excluding my best one that I would change into before church) went into the bottom as well as four pairs of woolen stockings. Some ribbons and leather hair ties went on top of them, as well as my hair brush and a new pair of shoes. A nightgown, woolen blanket and a woolen shawl soon had the pack almost filled. My movements had not disturbed my sleeping siblings at all, so I slowly crept up to first Illia and then Kara, gently waking them up.

They each blinked awake in turn, letting out a big yawn and stretching their arms above their heads before crawling out of bed.

"Come girls," I said to them gently, "time to get ready for the day. We've got egg turnovers for breakfast."

They both brightened up at this revelation, they were one of their favourite foods for breakfast also.

"Illia, on the way back from the outhouse could you pick some of the long-grass from the garden?" I asked, long-grass added a nice flavour to egg dishes and would be a good chopped finely and sprinkled on top of the egg turnovers.

"I wanna pick the long-grass!" Kara exclaimed with huff.

I smiled at the two, "Okay Kara, you may both pick some long-grass, but only five pieces each. How many is five?"

Kara thought for a moment before she held out her entire hand to me with her fingers and thumb spread out.

"That's right. Good girl," I praised, ruffling her hair "off with you now."

She beamed and me before scarpering off after Illia. I left the bag where it was for now, as I'd put this dress in once I changed into my good dress. I realised with a huff that I'd packed my brush and ribbons down near the bottom of the pack and reached in past all of the things to pull them out without having to pull each item out. I left the brush and a green ribbon on top of the pack. I was pleased that it was the green one i had pulled out, it was my favourite; a gift from Mother for my twelfth name day.

I went back out into the kitchen to see that Mother had finished another four turnovers. Jocam followed me in and I could hear the other boys running outside.

"Turnovers?" he asked, excitedly and I answered in the affirmative.

He looked to be about to say something, but stopped and looked a little ashamed. I guessed that it would have been something along the lines of 'you should be going away more often.' He'd managed to stop blurting out the first thing that popped into his head more often lately. If only we could fix Brahdi from the habit.

Once everything was prepared and everybody was seated, we started eating breakfast. I ate somberly, thinking about how this would be the last breakfast for an entire nine days that we would eat all together. That it would not be such a regular occurrence after today. It was such a little thing, but it was something that was done every single day for as long as I could remember, excepting of course for a few days here and there after Mother had given birth (but even then, we had brought breakfast into her while she was convalescing in bed.)

Then of course, Kara came out with "So… are you excited Sharein?"

I finished my mouthful and smiled at her, "Yes, a little, and a little nervous."

Mother and Father both looked at me with smiles.

"You'll do fine, Sharein," Mother reassured me.

"I'll do my best, but I hope that will be good enough," I answered.

Mother patted my hand, "You just pay attention to everything the Wizard Malkarov says, you've always been very quick to pick up anything new. Just be respectful, and treat him as you would us. I don't know how it works with Wizards of course, but in normal apprenticeships the Master takes on all responsibility for you just as a parent does their child. He's always seemed a kind man, what little we've seen of him."

"I will Mother," I answered her.

We ate in silence for a few more moments until Father started talking to Jocam about things that needed to be done in the next few days and conversation continued in that theme for the rest of breakfast.

Once breakfast was over, Illia and I helped Mother clean up before we went back to our bedrooms to get ready for church. I changed out of my dress into my good one, brushed my hair and tied it up with the green ribbon before I packed the dress and brush into my pack. Illia had already gotten changed and brushed and tied her hair,, so I helped brush Kara's hair before tying it back with her ribbon. Once done, they ran out the door. I took a moment to look around the room before I hefted my pack up over one shoulder and made my way out to the front of the house to the cart. Mother held her hand out for the pack and I handed it to her before climbing into the back. Father and the boys led Aloise horse out to the road where the Meadowbroeks were already waiting. Missus Meadowbroek climbed in the front with Mother and Kara while Illia moved over to sit in the back as Mari climbed up to join us. Once Father and the boys had joined Master Meadowbroek we set off for Easthaven.

"Are you excited Sharein?" Mari asked me after a moment, "I'm ever so excited for you."

"I feel some trepidation," I disclosed with a wry smile, "but yes, I am very excited also. It just feel so… big. Such a big momentous occasion."

"I'm very excited for you as well Sharein," Illia exclaimed, "I can't wait until I see everyone in class and I can tell them that my big sister is going to be a wizard!"

Mother and Missus Meadowbroek both laughed from the front, which prompted Mari and I to giggle a little ourselves. Illia looked a little put out by everyones reactions so I reached over to give her a hug which mollified her a little.

Mari and I continued to talk about inconsequential things for a while, with Illian chiming in with her own observations. I realised quickly that Illia must have been preparing herself for the role of 'eldest daughter' now that I wouldn't be around much more. It filled me with a small sense of pride to see her getting herself ready to step into my shoes and with that revelation I realised that I'd been training her for the past year almost as much as Mother had been. I was sure that with me gone, she would probably start getting up earlier to help Mother with breakfast and help clean up.

At about the halfway point, Mari leant across to me and whispered, "I'm very excited also."

It wasn't too hard to guess why, but instead I asked, "And why would that be?"

I must have been a bit too obvious, for Mari let out a little huff of annoyance, "Oh poo. You've already guessed. Well, in any case, I believe that it shan't be long until Tomas asks Father for permission to marry me."

"Really?" Illian exclaimed loudly and Mari shot her a look of annoyance.

Illian looked a bit contrite and I couldn't help but notice Mother looking askance at Missus Meadowbroek, who just gave her a nod in reply.

I leaned closer to give Mari a hug, "Well I am ever so excited for you in return. But you must promise me that when it does happen you must come straight to me, even if it means braving the Wizard's Tower."

"Oh I shall," Mari promised, "even if it means that the Wizard Malkarov will turn me into a frog!"

I let out a giggle, "Well, if that happens, I shall just have to convince him to turn Tomas into a frog also."

And we all three giggled almost all of the rest of the way to Easthaven.

I hardly paid any attention at all to Father Mattia's sermons. My presence in the church just reminded me of how much I missed Shard, but the closer he got to the end it was slowly replaced by nervousness about what was shortly to come. I think that I missed a couple of 'All Hail the Light's, but Mother didn't say anything. Curiously, I wondered if I should even be saying it at all. I couldn't very well say 'All Hail the Dark' though, not in church. Once church was over and we had headed outside, Father gave me a long hug. A little surprisingly Jocam gave me one straight after, which prompted all of my other brothers and sisters to hug me simultaneously as well. Father led them all off to the Common Paddock as Mother escorted me to the Wizard's Tower.

When we reached the great door of the tower, Mother knocked the door knocker and after a short moment the door opened. This time the Wizard Malkarov was standing on the other side.

For a few moments nobody said anything and I looked at Mother, a little unsure about what was going on. She seemed to be thinking about something. Quickly though, she seemed a little more sure of herself.

"Master Wizard," she addressed Malkarov, "I Aloise Askilain am here to present to you my eldest daughter Sharein Askilain. Sharein wishes to petition for apprenticeship under you until such a time as you deem her worthy of being a Master Wizard in her own right."

Malkarov raised one eyebrow in a gesture of curiosity before he responded carefully, "I, Master Wizard Malkarov do hereby accept the petition of Sharein Askilain. I shall take Sharein as my own until such a time as I declare her a Master Wizard in her own right."

Mother let out a small sigh of relief next to me as Malkarov stepped aside gesturing me to enter. I turned to Mother, who quickly enveloped me in a tight hug. When she released me, she gave me a kiss on the forehead and handed me my pack. I stood there for a moment, just looking at her. I could tell that she was on the verge of tears, which made me start to tear up also. Once she saw that, she gave me another kiss on the cheek and a gentle push towards the doorway. Slowly I walked into my new home.

AUTHORS NOTE:

Thank you everyone for reading!

Thank you so much for your review Veor Hrdenda, I'm glad you've been enjoying it!


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

10th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

Malkarov closed the door behind me as I just stood there in the cozy room, looking around at everything in a new light. This was my new home, for at least four years. The wizard cleared his throat after a few moments, causing me to look up at him. He smiled down at me.

"Come along," he said kindly, "first things first. I'll give you a tour of your new home."

I nodded and started following him up the stairs.

"The room down here," he said as we proceeded, gesturing towards the ground floor, "is the living room. It's where I often spend a good part of the evenings curled up on one of the chairs reading."

As we walked up the stairs, the roof of the living room turned in brief wall before opening up on a landing to a hallway, the stairs continued farther up. The corridor was lit up with crystals just like the living room, hanging from the ceiling and set into little alcoves into the walls. At the end of the corridor was a window, natural light streamed in from it. Underneath the window rested a small table with drawers and resting on top of the table was the skull of a strange creature. It almost looked like a horse' skull, but the single horn protruding from the top of it showed exactly what it was.

"Unicorn," he said, noticing me staring at it, "it's a sad story for another time."

There were two doors opposite each other in the middle of the hallway.

"This one," he said, gesturing to his right, "is my bedchamber. Your's is on the left here. A little smaller; due to the stairs, but we can't have an apprentice with better quarters than her master now, can we?"

He opened the door in to a semi-circular room. It was huge! Our bedroom at the farm had enough room for two beds (one for me and one for the younger girls), and enough room to walk between them. A large rug covered up most of the floor, threaded into a pattern of a forest; with shining light coming down through the canopy to light up the lefty forest floor. It was magnificent! Crystals lit up the room but there was also one window, on the same wall as the window at the end of the corridor, set into an alcove. My bed was set underneath it. A large wooden chest rested on the floor at the foot of the bed and against the curved wall was a mirrored table and chair. Next to that was a bookcase, with four of the six shelves filled with books! At the other end of the room was a bath and… an outhouse? An inside outhouse? I stood there amazed. The wizard quietly chuckled next to me. It was a polished wooden seat, with an oval hole cut into it. I looked into the hole and saw instead of a large pit (where would the pit have gone?) an inverted dome. The edges of the dome were inscribed with white runes all over it.

"It's the first thing I did when I designed the tower. There was no way I was going to walk down and outside to use an outhouse," he said to me, "anything non-living that touches the bottom is transported into a pit. Apparently the first version of it just vanished anything until they realised what a huge mistake that was."

We walked over to the bath. It was a large oblong metal tub with a hole in the base at the end closest to the wall. Out of the wall stretched a metal pipe, bent at right angles to point down into the bath. On either side of the pipe were two runes carved into the wall. They stood out, being a bright white colour.

"This," Malkarov said, "was the second thing. There's a cork plug here next to the bath. You put that into the hole to prevent the water from draining. The rune on the left lets out cold water and the rune on the right lets out hot water. All you have to do is touch it to activate and touch it again to turn it off."

He puffed up with pride at my look of shock, "I'm actually quite a bit proud of it. It was my Masterwork at the Mages Guild, as soon as I presented it the judging wizard's clamoured around me wanting one for their own. The Grand-Master Wizard actually came in to find out what all the fuss was about and he demanded to have the first one! Every wizard I made one for, assisted me in the building of my tower. It was well worth the work. The Grand-Master was the one who made the in-houses for me."

He looked around the room, "If there's anything else you'd like in here just let me know and I'll get it for you."

I was shocked. What else could I want? I shook my head and started to stammer out a reassurance that it wasn't necessary, but he just smiled and said, "Just keep it in mind, you have to be comfortable in here to be able to study and learn. The better you learn, the better wizard you will become and the better it reflects upon me in the Guild."

I nodded at that, it made sense. But I couldn't think of any single thing else that I could possibly want. Malkarov told me to leave my pack in my bedroom as we left to continue with the rest of the tour, so I placed it down next to the chest where I would unpack it once I had a chance.

We continued up the curving steps onto the third level. This level was all open, just like the ground floor. Directly opposite the steps landing was a long bench with cupboards underneath it and in the centre of the room sat a long table and chairs. A fireplace sat burning at one end. Paintings lined the walls around the table, all of them were scenes of forests or hills.

"This is the kitchen and dining room," Malkarov said, gesturing around, "We will eat here for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Most days it shall just be us but I shall also teach you Carnian etiquette and Elvish. I have recipes for many, many dishes but my skills at preparing them are not exactly polished. When it comes time for us to practice some of these I shall invite someone here to cook for us. Do you cook?"

The question was unexpected, but I managed to nod enthusiastically, "Yes, I quite like to cook."

A smile lit up his face and he spread his arms wide, "Excellent! Then as my apprentice, it shall be up to you to prepare meals when I am not of a mind to, or when we have guests in to cook," he paused for a moment and his voice dropped down to a lower conspiratorial tone, "or when we do not have the Pig and Wheelbarrow bring us food… which is what I have been surviving on, to date."

The fourth level was for work and learning. Against the wall rested a large bench with strange glass jars on stands, with small fires boiling under large metal pots. The glass jars were filled with different coloured liquids, and a pink smoke broiled out of one of the pots.

"This," Malkarov gestured to the table, "will be where you will learn alchemy. The art of making potions, poisons and other liquids."

Another table contained boxes with stones, brushes and smaller pots containing some sort of thicker liquids. One shelf above the table just held a huge stack of parchment.

"And here is where you shall be learning enchanting, rune-writing and scroll making," Malkarov explained.

Next to the enchanting table was a huge cupboard with drawers, and shelves. Each of the shelves were filled with large glass jars containing all manner of items. One jar had the label 'Butterfly wings', another 'Beetle mandibles.".

"Casting a spell, enchanting an item, alchemy and scroll writing all require components. A lot of our time will be spent travelling out and about the countryside looking for these things. The rest of this room is for practicing spells and working magic. Lastly there is the roof," Malkarov explained, finally leading me up the last of the steps to a trapdoor in the roof.

The trapdoor opened sideways and the roof allowed such an amazing view of the Easthaven valley. I had once climbed Easthill and we were just about as high as that. Seeing all of the houses down below with smoke rising from their chimneys was eye opening, the position of the Wizard's Tower allowed a fantastic view straight into the town square and the common paddock. It was mostly empty; Mother, Father and my siblings had already left for home.

"And that," Malkarov said, "ends the tour. Please stay out of the fourth level unless I'm with you, or I give you permission. You are not to practice magic that I have not instructed you on. Dinner tonight will be brought up by Missus Rose of the Pig and Wheelbarrow, listen for the three bells to indicate time for dinner. Actually for that matter, One bell will indicate someone at the door. Two bells will indicate time to wake up or time to go to sleep. Three bells indicates meal time. Four bells indicates time for magical learning or to end a lesson or study. Now, why don't you go and unpack your bag and have a bath before dinner?"

I gave him a nod, "Yes Master Malkarov," and headed downstairs.

"Sharein!" he called out, and I froze, before slowly turning around to look at him.

"No need to run," he said with a smile, "there's plenty of time. And don't call me Master Malkarov, just Malkarov is fine."

I walked slowly down to my room on the second level. Once inside, and the door closed, I opened up my pack to transfer the contents to different places around the room. I stopped in surprise. I hadn't packed that. There was something made from white linen on top. I pulled it out to reveal a white linen long sleeved shirt. It had narrower cuffs than the sleeves, and a vee cut neck with holes and a tie to make it tighter. I wondered how it could have gotten there. Underneath that was a bigger surprise! Light brown leather, that when pulled out revealed itself to be a pair of trousers! She didn't, did she? Mother was the only one near my bag, she must have made me the pair of trousers she had suggested she would make for next winter! The leather was so soft and supple, the stitching so fine. They appeared to have been made in a similar style to Jocam's, but taking into account the differences in our measurements. I folded both up and packed them away into the chest. As much as I wanted to try them on, to wear them, I felt that somehow my very first night here would not be the appropriate time. I didn't know how Malkarov would react, I reasoned that I would see how much store he put into tradition first. I unpacked the rest of my things, without any more surprises, and got undressed before heading over to the bath to press the hot rune. Hot water immediately came pouring out of the metal pipe and I scrambled to put the cork plug in the bottom before I wasted any. Scalding hot water raised a red mark on the back of my hand before I was able to get the cork firmly inserted. I could tell that I'd have to experiment between the hot and cold to determine the proper ratio for a nice warm comfortable bath. I filled the bath up with hot water about a quarter of the way before pressing the hot rune again to stop the water. I pressed the cold one and cold water started pouring out, cooling off my bathwater slowly. I put my red hand underneath the cold water, which made it immediately feel numb. Brrrrrr! That water was cold, almost like it was coming straight from the North River! I dipped a finger into the bath to test the water and found that, now almost half full it was cool. At home it would have made for a satisfactory bath, but with the ease of adding more hot water, why would I accept simply satisfactory? I turned off the cold water through the cold rune and touched the hot rune again. Hot, steaming water poured out and I continued to dip my hand in to test the bath. Once it reached a nice, warm, temperature I turned off the hot water and slowly eased myself into the bath. I made sure that my hair went over the rim of the bath so as not to get wet, and slowly collapsed into a warm puddle of contentment. The warmth of the water enveloped me and quickly became my new favourite thing. I lay there, in the realisation that I could potentially stay semi-submerged in warm water forever without the need to get out to put a new pot over a fire or empty water out of the tub. All I had to do was push the rune for hot water as soon as the temperature started to lower, and pull the plug out temporarily when the bath threatened to overflow. Magic was wonderful!

I couldn't stay in the bath forever though, more's the pity, so eventually I pulled the plug and got out. I stood there, wondering what to do. I had no fireplace to dry off in front of, which is what we would usually do after a bath or after washing myself with a bucket. At least my hair wasn't wet, so I wouldn't take too long to dry. I shook a little, realising that even though there was no fireplace in my room, it wasn't actually very cold. It was quite comfortable inside my room, and once I determined that I wasn't still dripping too much I got myself dressed again. Wondering how much time I would have before dinner arrived, I perused the bookshelf. Very quickly I selected a book titled ' _The History of the Elves of Kaz Sarion. Volume I._ ' I was so engrossed in the book that when the bell chimed once, I almost missed it.


	20. Chapter 19

Authors note: Just a quick little chapter here to finalise Shar's first day of her apprenticeship. Tomorrow she starts her first lessons in magic! Remember to leave a review letting me know what you think!  
Thank you so much drouppi for the C&C... I *think* this is the best way to do it... maybe not, but it looks like it works better.

Chapter 19

10th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I almost missed the first bell, but I didn't miss the three that followed shortly after. I closed the book carefully, taking note of the page number, and placed it back onto the bookshelf. I left my room then, walking carefully up the stairs to the kitchen and dining area on the third floor. Malkarov was already there, sitting at the head of the table. He welcomed me in with a smile and gestured to the seat immediately to his right. In each of our places were large bowls filled with stew and large mugs of ale. Between each of us was a large wooden board with thick slices of freshly buttered bread. It smelled delicious! Malkarov immediately took a slice of bread and dipped it into the stew, then alternated between that and scooping out pieces of vegetables with a spoon. I followed likewise, savouring the delicious flavour of Missus Rose's Lamb Stew.

"The question that I shall ask first," Malkarov began, looking at me with a strange smile, "is; did you spend the entire time in the bath, or did you do something else?"

I blushed a little and was about to answer when he spoke up again, "I only ask, because my first bath lasted almost the entire afternoon."

I giggled a little at that, "I was tempted," I admitted, "when I realised that I could just add more hot water when the bathwater got cool, and pull the plug to let out water when the water threatened to overflow. But I did keep my bath short, and read for the remainder."

"Oh!" he exclaimed, seemingly pleasantly surprised, "And which of the books took your fancy?"

"The History of the Elves of Kaz Sarion," I answered.

He nodded at this, "And how did you find it?"

"I only finished the first chapter," I replied, "from the mythic founding until the end of the reign of King Silithradil. It was very interesting, but…" I stopped, looking down at my meal. I wasn't sure if it was my place to question the book. Some things didn't make sense to me, but the only book I had ever read even part of was the Book of Light and I had learned very quickly not to ever question what was written in it.

"But?" Malkarov prompted, and I felt compelled to answer, even if it did get me into trouble.

"Well…" I took a moment to think about how to word it, "Even though the author wrote that the foundation of Kaz Sarion was mythic, he wrote the justification for King Silithradil's actions as if he knew what King Silithradil was thinking. I don't understand why it would be written with such surety even if the events weren't myth. The justifications made perfect sense to me."

Malkarov raised one eyebrow at me questioningly, "You don't understand, but they made perfect sense?"

"Yes. They made perfect sense to me, but do elves really think the same way as us? Are they really going to do things for exactly the same reasons?" I asked, then stopped in shock. Malkarov was clapping loudly. He actually pushed his chair back as he stood, continuing to clap.

"Well done Sharein!" he exclaimed, food forgotten for the time being. "You've just summarised everything wrong with The History of the Elves of Kaz Sarion after only reading one chapter! Astounding! That was Almaroth's biggest mistake, in writing it. He rationalised everything based upon his own understanding and his own beliefs."

Malkarov got very excited in his expressions and voice; and I paid rapt attention to the things he was telling me, "Don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic writing on the history of Kaz Sarion, if you ignore all of his biggoted opinions. Elves have a rich and long culture, and their society has a different way of thinking about things. Without understanding those completely, you cannot even begin to guess at their reasons for doing things. I'm not even sure that Almaroth had ever even met an elf when he wrote the book, considering so many of the mistakes and by all understandings he never even intended to meet an elf."

"Then why did he write about them?" I asked, confused. Why write about something you had no interest in learning about?

"Ah! The King of Carn, at the time, was commencing talks with the Queen of the Elves. He had no understanding of elves, with Kaz Sarion having isolated themselves for quite some time. He commissioned Almaroth to write him a summary of their history, which Almaroth did. He researched their history and summarised over two hundred books in the great library of the Guild into just three concise volumes. Unfortunately many Carnians at the time suffered from a human-centric hubris. This had a souring effect upon the negotiations which set back Carnian - Kaz Sarion relations for a hundred years and lost us a potentially valuable ally when the orcs invaded Oscura. You'll notice about halfway through that volume, that Almaroth describes the Kaz Sarion society as being analogous to Carnian society. He notes that their society is stratified into Noble houses and the commoners. This was the result of a mistranslation. There are multiple elvish races: The Gold Elves, who are often called High Elves; Silver Elves, who are often called Common Elves; Green Elves, who are often called Wild Elves; and the Dark or Night Elves. While Gold Elves do in fact hold a place of nobility, they are in fact an entirely different race of elf. They are taller than Silver Elves, they have a goldish yellow tinge to their skin rather than the pale white or silver tinge and their hair is much more fair, rather than the darker tones of a Silver Elf. If Almaroth had ever met a Gold Elf and a Silver Elf he would have known that things weren't quite so simple as 'nobility and commoners'. Interestingly, the child of a Gold Elf and Silver Elf parents will always present as a Silver Elf. This reinforces a strict caste system in their society."

Malkarov stopped now, to continue eating and I did likewise.

Until, at least, pondering on what he had been telling me forced a question out, "Malkarov, have you met an elf?"

He smiled at me, "I've met quite a few. I spent a full summer in Heltharkareth once, learning from their Spellsingers. In fact, you will quite likely meet one of the friends I made there. It will be he, who will cook elvish food for us."

I remembered Malkarov telling me that he will be teaching me elvish etiquette and eating elvish food, but I never even thought that the cook might be an elf themselves! I could feel my excitement well up, I wished that I could share it with Shard. She'd be so excited at the news.

"Is something wrong?" Malkarov asked me. He must have taken note of my sadness.

"No, no, nothing," I said to him, "I just wished that I could share the news with my… friend."

"There will be plenty of time for that, you won't be trapped in here with me all day every day," he reassured me.

It was reassuring, as it reminded me that I'd just have to wait nine days until I could tell Shard, even if it wouldn't be an actual conversation.

We continued dinner and once finished we carried our dishes to the bench against the wall. Set into the bench was a small metal tub, much like a miniature bath with a similar pipe and runestones to the ones in my bedroom. Malkarov showed me how to fill up the smaller tub and wash our dishes in it, using a small piece of cloth to make sure the dishes were clean. He then instructed me to pick up a smaller piece of cloth that was dry to dry the water off the dishes before packing them away into the cupboards. The cloth worked much better than fingers, and the dishes looked much cleaner after being cleaned with a cloth than being dried in the air.

"I'd better show you these, as well," Malkarov said, walking me over towards the stair landing. Set into the wall to the left of the landing were three small runes that I hadn't noticed at all until he pointed them out.

"The first is for the bells," he said, pushing it twice. Two bells chimed out through the tower. He pushed it three times and three chimes sounded, "These are on the walls to the left of the landing at each level."

"The next two are for the light crystals," he said, "the first you hold in to make the lights brighter and the second you hold in to make them dimmer and eventually go dark. These are on the walls to the left of the landing on each level. They are also to the left of our doors and to the left of our beds in our bedrooms. Another fantastic idea that I can't take any credit for. It was based off the original work of the Enchantress Lelandri, whose two linked runes simply made a single light produce light or not. We've taken great strides in the art of enchanting in the past two hundred years, that's for sure. Why, two hundred years ago the runes would only last a week of use or so before degrading. Now they only have to be rewritten every year if used regularly."

He stopped then and reddened a little, looking a bit embarrassed, "Listen to me prattle on. You can't tell that the art of enchanting is my passion at all, can you? It can wait until your enchanting lesson, I'm sure. Best to get to bed, we shall have breakfast tomorrow morning and then get straight into it. I'll start off each day with theory and stick to a different subject each day just to keep things interesting. Some days I'll set aside for my own work and I'll instruct you as I go. Feel free to keep reading until you hear the two bells and make sure to get up in the morning when you hear the two bells again."

We walked down the steps together and seperated into our rooms. I got changed out of my dress into my nightgown and took the History of the Elves of Kaz Sarion Volume 1 down from the shelf. Lifting back the blankets on my bed, I slid in and got comfortable before continuing my book. Eventually, my eyelids started to droop and I got up to put the book back onto the bookshelf before climbing back into bed and holding my finger on the right hand side rune next to my bed until the light crystals dimmed down and the room became pitch black. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and I didn't even hear the chimes of the bell.


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

11th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I woke up regretfully from a wonderful dream of Shard. It made me miss her touch, her presence, so much that I could still feel the echoes of my memories throughout my entire being. It was still fairly dark in my room but I could see that the sky outside was beginning to lighten. I fumbled for the lighting rune next to my bed and eventually I found the right one with the light crystals beginning to glow with their strange magical light. I made use of the inhouse and remained amazed that there was nothing in the bowl after doing my business. I put the cork into the bath and let a little bit of water into it, just enough to rub myself down and freshen up. I then considered the clothes that I would wear, deciding upon a dress once more. I dressed and tied up my hair. I hadn't heard a bell yet and decided that the best way I could thank Malkarov would be to prepare breakfast for us. He did tell me that it would be one of my tasks after all. I closed my bedroom door quietly and slowly walked up the stairs to the kitchen floor. I opened cupboards, checking to see what was in each. Taking note of where everything was, I made a decision on what to make. I pulled out some smoked sausages and a hunk of salted pork along with a few eggs and a loaf of bread. I found a large fry pan and a metal rack that could be inserted into the fireplace. It didn't look like it had been used recently. The fire was still burning the same as it had been the previous night, it hadn't died down at all.

"Magic," I said to myself with a smile, then snorted at my surprise. Why would I be so surprised about magic, when that was the whole purpose for my presence?

I inserted the metal rack over the fire and put down the frypan on top of it to heat up. A small slice of butter went into the frypan along with the dried sausages. While they cooked, I sliced up some of the salted pork to go into the frypan and put some butter onto some slices of bread. The salted pork went into the frypan to cook and I rolled around the sausages to ensure that they would cook evenly. Once the pork had finished cooking on one side, I turned it and added the buttered bread into the pan. It was almost all ready and I realised with a start that perhaps I shouldn't have started it without knowing what time Malkarov would rise. I could move it away from the fire to just keep warm, but it wouldn't be quite as nice to taste and would dry out a bit. Just as I made the decision to move it and wait for Malkarov, two bells chimed out. Oh good, that meant that he was awake! I pushed the salted pork and sausages to one side, flipping up the fried bread on top of it all and cracked the eggs into the frypan. I fetched plates from the cupboard we put the bowls away into last night and some cutlery to set the table. My timing couldn't have been more perfect, for Malkarov appeared on the landing just as I was laying the last egg onto the fried bread on my plate.

I stiffened a little and smiled at Malkarov hopefully.

"Fried breakfast?" he asked incredulously, before smiling widely and announcing, "If I had known this would be the benefit, I would have taken you on as an apprentice on your TENTH name day!"

I let out a giggle at his exaggeration and rushed to put the pan and spatula into the little bath tub in the bench. I pushed the rune for hot water and rinsed them both off quickly.

Malkarov joined me, holding two mugs. Before I could push the rune again to turn off the hot water, he put the mugs underneath the pipe and filled both of them up. From a small clay jar he poured a measure of herbs into the mugs one at a time and brought them both over to the table.

"It's an infusion of herbs that I like to have in the morning, to wake me up. Have a try as it is, then add some honey and give it a try," Malkarov told me.

We both sat down and I took a sip of the tea, it had a nice bright and floral flavour. At Malkarov's insistence I added some honey from a small ceramic jar on the table. Taking another sip, I marvelled at the changed flavour. The honey sweetened the tea and managed to bring out a whole host of other flavours that I hadn't even known were there. I let out a little moan and Malkarov laughed at me. Embarrassed, I put a hand over my mouth and refused to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry Sharien," he said, "I shouldn't laugh when someone compliments me so honestly. Especially after that someone cooks such a wonderful meal."

I looked up at him hesitantly, but his attention was only on the meal in front of him. He put a forkful of food into his mouth and started chewing.

"Mmmmmm," he moaned and our eyes met. Mine widened in shock to match his and we both started laughing so very loudly and for such a long time that I was glad that I had some honeyed tea in front of me to sooth my throat.

We finished our breakfast and cleaned up. Malkarov indicated for me to follow him and we both walked down to the ground floor.

"Most of our practical lessons will be up on the fourth floor," he said, "but for theory, I much prefer to be comfortably seated."

We took seats opposite each other and he asked, "Do you know what magic is?"

I remembered how Shard described it when I told her about my apprenticeship and answered hesitantly, "The arcane is an important force that runs through everything."

His brows furrowed in confusion, "The force theory is not so widely supported, but does have it's proponents. Have you been reading _The Force Theory of Magical Origins_?"

I shook my head as I replied, "No."

He Hmmmm'd in reply, but continued on, "We aren't sure exactly what magic is or where it comes from. There have been many theories; the force theory among them, but none of them have sufficient evidence or ability to test them to determine which, if any, are true. There are many different ways for us to tap into magic and turn it to our own ends. We use ritual, runes, and combinations of components to cast spells. Other races use different methods, that seem to only work well for them. For instance; the bolt spell, which will be the first offensive combat spell I will teach you, requires both a magical phrase and the use of your staff to cast. Some spells require other material components to cast. For instance, the light spell requires both a magical phrase and a piece of a firefly. The material component will be consumed by the magic and be burned to ash. The other races use other methods. For instance, while we use a magical phrase the Elves use spell-song. They sing their magic into being. I can cast some basic spells through song, but it's very taxing on me. For elves to cast magic through magical phrases, it is similarly difficult. Dwarvish magic is performed through chanting and rune-carving mostly, but their material components are all earth based; metals, rocks and soil."

Malkarov paused for a few moments and I took the opportunity to ask a question, "Which other races have their own forms of magic? Are there any others?"

He nodded before replying, "I understand that Dark Elves have their own distinct magic compared to the rest of the elves, as do orcs. Even goblins and other such creatures, as rudimentary as their magic often is, use different methods. While we use material components, which can sometimes involve bones, I understand that goblins use bones exclusively. Instead of using a staff, they will use a long thigh bone and their material components will often be smaller finger bones and the like. Instead of magical phrases, I believe that they shake a bone necklace in a particular way, or bang two bones together. Some methods of magic blend together, Orcs for instance can use bones a lot more than we do but also use chanting similar to dwarves."

I nodded, taking in this curious aspect of magic. I wondered why different races were limited to certain components, it made me want to ask Shard which sent a pang of sadness through me. Although I was following Malkarov's explanations and descriptions quite well, when Shard told me something I just **knew** it to be true.

He continued, "Once you manage to cast your first spell we will discover your seeming. Your seeming is how your magic is projected upon the world. Your seeming is almost always linked to the elements, meaning that your spells will appear as fire, wind, earth or water. Your bolt spell may appear as a firebolt, a bolt of hardened wind, a bolt of stone or a bolt of water. Each have their own benefits and limitations. A bolt of fire will set fire to flammable things when it hits, a bolt of wind will push back a person hit by it, a bolt of stone will actually flow through stone to reform on the other side and a bolt of water will put out fires. Now, it may seem that the bolt of water seems the weakest of the four, but the damage that a bolt of water will do to a fire elemental is surprisingly significant."

I wondered what my seeming would be, I would honestly be happy with anything.

"The interaction between spells of different seemings are interesting and no one seeming appears overall to be any more powerful than any other. Some spells do not appear to be affected by the casters seeming and some schools aren't affected at all. That leads us on to the final thing to discover about your magic: we will be able to discern your affinity. This is the trickiest part of learning magic. There are seven different schools of magic: Protection, summoning, divination, enchanting, elementalism, illusion and ritualism. Protection, Summoning, Elementalism and Illusion are all schools involved with casting spells. Enchanting is the art of creating magical items, imbuing items with magic. Divination is the art of telling the future or discovering things and ritualism is the use of specific rituals that often affect life or death." Malkarov explained and honestly the magic of necromancers was something that was often told in stories to scare children. The idea of raising a loved one from the dead to return as a mindless killer was a horrid thought, "The most well known rituals are those that deal with the art of necromancy, reanimating dead things, but there are many other rituals beside those ones. Every wizard has an affinity towards one particular school. Spells of this school are always more powerful than the rest of the schools. The downside is, that just as spells of that school are more powerful, spells of the opposite school are weaker. The overall power level of the wizard seems to determine how powerful the affinity is. The strength of a wizard seems to be predetermined, but some things can influence it. There are certain rituals and artifacts that can increase a wizard's power, but not without sacrifice. Strong wizards will have a stronger affinity than weaker wizards. The strongest wizard I ever saw was Werriska the Red. His affinity was elementalism, he could cast a fireball spell that could melt stone. The opposite of elementalism is enchantment and he could not enchant even a dagger. Even the simplest enchantments were beyond him. My affinity is the opposite to Werriska's, I'm fabulous at enchantments. I can cast some elemental spells, however I can't cast anything more powerful than an explosion of wind; that's my seeming. Even then my explosion of wind isn't very strong."

So Malkarov's affinity was enchantments, which explained all the useful items around his tower and his seeming was wind. I didn't recall seeing him cast any spells, but it would be interesting to see how a wind seeming manifests. It made me more excited to cast my first spell and discover what my seeming would be.

Malkarov continued, "We will start today, after lunch, with elemental spells. The first of which, by tradition I think, will be the light spell. Once you manage to successfully cast it yourself, we will discover your seeming. It may take us a while to discover your affinity, you will have to test out every school and if your overall power isn't great then the difference your affinity makes may be negligible. If that's the case, there won't be any problems. However, if you happen to be very strong in magic and have an affinity towards elementalism, I won't be able to teach you much of my own affinity; enchantment. If this is the case, I'll be able to teach you the basics of most schools but we may have to consider finding another master for you."

I frowned at this final worry, I hadn't even had a chance to get used to Malkarov and his home yet and there was a chance I might have to go somewhere completely different to another wizard?

He chuckled at me, "Don't worry. The chances of you being another Werriska the Red are very slim. The biggest problem with magic, is that after you have successfully managed to cast your first spell you will begin to have an understanding of the feeling of using magic. The more magic that you cast, the more you will feel the connection to it. You may be tempted, at some point to attempt to force the magic. That is, try to cast a spell without one of it's components. This is possible, eventually; but to do it without preparation can be disastrous. It can cause you physical pain and can occasionally kill the wizard. You are sending the elements through your body instead of through the words, actions or materials. When the magic discovers that there are no material components to consume, it will consume you instead."

My eyes widened in shock! Oh dear, I never even considered that using magic could be that dangerous!

"Yes," he said, seeing my reaction, "I can't emphasise this enough. It's very rare that a magical accident like this will happen to someone new to magic, it happens more often when accomplished wizards find themselves in desperate situations and short of components or when trying to practice removing component requirements from spells and taking short-cuts. When we go to visit the Guild in Castlemere, I'll take you to see the magical accidents recovery ward. They have a room, with beds for wizards who have magical accidents. There are usually one or two overconfident wizards recovering there at any one time."

Malkarov stopped there, "Why don't we take a break for a few moments? Go and use your in-house if you need to and fetch me a hot drink, and one for yourself if you like; you did see which jar the herbs were in?"

I stood and nodded to his question, before heading up to my bedroom to use the in-house. There were no leaves or mosses like we had at home to wipe ourselves with, and I wondered whether I should have to just go without when I realised that next to the in-house was a small ceramic jar with a sponge in it. The jar and sponge smelled of vinegar and I assumed that it was placed there for just this reason. I wiped and was about to just throw it down the hole (which wasn't there) just like I would a leaf when I remembered that anything that went there just disappeared and there only seemed to be one sponge. I let out a sigh of relief that I'd picked up on that before I had to ask Malkarov for another sponge, or go sorting through the pit (wherever it was) to retrieve it. Once finished I went upstairs to make both of us a mug of infused herbs and brought them back down to the ground floor.

Malkarov took a sip of his and let out a pleased sigh, "You, my dear girl, are very quickly making yourself indispensable! Missus Rose will be bringing us lunch and dinner today, so we shall continue with your theory until she arrives. Then we shall practice until dinner time. Now to see how much you paid attention!"

As we sipped our hot drinks, Malkarov asked me questions on the magical theory he had already outlined. He asked me to name all the schools of magic, which with the exception of the school of illusion, I managed. I must have remembered enough, for part-way through he congratulated me for my memory, stating that "a memory like yours will do you very well indeed." For each question, whether I got it right or not, he expanded upon his lesson and by the time we had finished it felt difficult to keep all of the information straight in my head.

Eventually a single chime rang out through the tower and I rose quickly to get the door.

AUTHORS NOTE:

This chapter contained a LOT of background and world building descriptions, the next will contain a lot less (and will be out sooner rather than later).  
A HUGE thank-you to all of my readers!  
Please follow if you like it, to ensure that you don't miss out on updates :D


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

11th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

Missus Rose was a larger, older woman, who cooked almost all of the food served at the Pig and Wheelbarrow Inn. Her cheeks were ruddy and her brown hair was tied up in a bun. She was still wearing her apron and carrying a large wicker basket.

"Sharein, my dear," she said loudly, which was somehow louder than her usual loud, "I had heard tell that you had started your apprenticeship here."

Malkarov appeared behind me and Missus Rose straightened a little at his presence, "Wizard Malkarov! Pumpkin soup, cheesy garlic rolls and two bottles of ale for lunch. I've got a whole pig roasting for dinner tonight with some vegetables and I'll be making pork pies for lunch tomorrow."

"Excelled Missus Rose, I'm sure you have outdone yourself once again!" Malkarov proclaimed, "That all sounds excellent. One small change however, is that tomorrow night I shall not require dinner. I think it shall be time to see if Sharein will be up to the task of challenging your exemplary record."

I blushed a little, Missus Rose was quite well known as the best cook in the whole of Easthaven, I didn't think that mine could even come close.

"Well now," Missus Rose said with a smile, a laugh and a wink at me, "If she is, mind, I might have to steal your apprentice from you."

"Now, now Missus Rose, that would be completely unfair of you," he replied as he pulled a small coin purse from his robes. He counted out four silver moons and a copper bit into one hand and placed the purse back into his robes. He paid Missus Rose and took the basket from her, which he then handed to me. He picked up another basket that I hadn't previously noticed, from behind a bookshelf, which he then handed to Missus Rose. With the exception of handing the first basket to me, the whole process seemed very well rehearsed. Malkarov wished Missus Rose a good day, stating that he was "looking forward to seeing her later," and we both went up the stairs to the third level to have lunch. I set the table while Malkarov unpacked the basket, out came a large clay pot from which he poured the soup into bowls that I set down. Next he pulled out two bread rolls wrapped in cloth which went onto small plates. Finally he pulled out two bottles of beer, that he poured into the mugs I put down. We sat down to eat one of the most delicious pumpkin soups I had ever eaten.

We were about halfway through, having eaten in silence, when Malkarov spoke up, "Tomorrow morning before lunch, I'll give you some money to go and buy what you need for dinner. I'll have you pick up our lunch from the Pig and Whistle directly, on your way back home."

I nodded, "Yes, mast..."

He arched one eyebrow at me and I took it as a rebuke, cutting off my words. I wondered what I should be calling him if I couldn't call him Master Malkarov. I was supposed to treat him like I would Father, but I would never ever call Father by his given name. Saying 'yes, Malkarov' just sounded so rude, as if he were my friend rather than my Master. I settled merely for casting down my eyes and eating my soup, trying to think of what sort of things I could make for dinner on the morrow.

After lunch was finished, and our plates and cutlery washed, dried and packed away; we headed upstairs to the fourth floor. Malkarov instructed me to sit down on the floor, which I did.

"The all-important first step when learning magic is the connection." He explained, "Spells require the connection to magic to work. If a person is not capable of forging that connection, they will never be able to use magic. For you, we don't have to worry about that. You have already proven that you can, by using the scroll to cast a light spell. Once you have created that connection to magic, you will begin to recognise it and soon enough you will be able to create that connection at any time. But, how does one create that connection in the first place if they have no idea what they are looking for?"

I nodded as the question seemed rhetorical, because I had no idea how to create that first connection.

"The best way," Malkarov continued, "is to only cast spells that require the magical phrase. These phrases contain a little spark of magic all of their own. A staff is merely a conduit for magic to affect the outside world, material components are the wood for the fire so to speak. But the words, the words are the door to opening yourself up as the connection to magic. And that spark of magic contained in the words, that's the spark that sets the fire alight."

I nodded along, his description seemed to make sense to me.

Malkarov went to the large cupboard and pulled down a small jar. The label, I noticed, read _Firefly wings_. He put his hand into the jar and pulled out a couple of clear, papery wings. He gave one to me and kept one for himself.

"Before attempting a spell, ensure that you are always holding the material components, ensure you are holding your staff if the spell requires it," Malkarov instructed.

"But…" I began, but Malkarov answered my question before I could even ask it.

"You don't have a staff," he answered, "Yes, for the time being we shall concentrate on spells that don't require it but soon we shall make a journey to find your staff."

"A journey to find my staff?" I asked, confused. He made it sound like my staff would be out there just waiting for me.

"In a manner of speaking," he clarified. "A wizard's staff is a very personal thing to them and is always made by the wizard who will use it. There are a series of runes and a special ritual that you will need to know to make it and as you learn more you will need to add to the runes on your staff to increase the power you are able to use."

Malkarov pulled down from a shelf a small crystal sphere, which he handed to me, "The light spell must be cast upon an object. That object will glow, in the same way my light crystals do. Often a wizard will use the spell to make his staff glow, but for the moment this crystal ball shall do. My crystals glow white because of my seeming, other seemings produce other colours. Fire will create a reddish light, water will create a bluish light and earth will create golden yellow light. For the moment though, repeat the words in your head. Over and over, but do not speak them aloud until you feel the spark of magic inside. Once you do, try to put the two together. The words and the spark."

Malkarov then told me the words of the spell. Just like the words on the scroll and the words I spoke at Shard's altar, they didn't make any sense to me. I repeated them over and over though, inside my head.

"Close your eyes," Malkarov whispered, and I did so.

The words repeated, over and over, but I couldn't feel any sort of spark inside me. Nothing. I'm not sure how long I was at it for, but eventually Malkarov instructed me to stop and open my eyes. The feeling disappointment settled onto me and I felt my eyes water a little.

"Don't fret, Sharein," he comforted. "It's very rare for anyone to get it the first time. It's about practice and the correct frame of mind to start with."

He held out his staff in one hand and his open hand containing a firefly wing in the other. I heard him speak the words he had given me with such a tone of authority that it was essentially a command. The end of his staff began to glow white and I watched as the firefly wing broke down into ash in his hand.

"Do the words need to be spoken in such a manner?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. Yes they do," he replied. "It's very important that you command the magic to come forth, rather than entreating or begging it. Why don't you give it another shot?"

I closed my eyes once more and repeated the words over and over once more. Each time I completed the phrase I felt a little tingle run down my spine and a flash behind my eyes. The more I repeated it, the stronger both felt. They were a little bit delayed, the flash was first and then moments later the physical sensation, but each time I repeated the phrase the two got closer and closer together. Soon they both occurred at the same time and when they did there was an answering feeling from deep inside of me. It was hard to describe, it was something like a flash of heat or even a flash of deep cold from deep inside my chest. I kept repeating the words, trying to push the feelings together. Trying to will the flash inside to move up my spine and up to the flash behind my eyes, trying to forge a link between the two. It felt… slippery. As much as I tried to push it towards the words, it was wanting to branch off down my arm. Malkarov said that I had to push the two together, so that's what I continued to attempt. It felt like pushing a boulder up a hill. All it wanted to do was to roll down my arm, but slowly, very slowly I forced it up. Eventually I managed to get the two together. I spoke the words out loud. I tried to put as much authority into the verbal command as I could. I felt the flashes inside me expand, explode and then nothing. I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands. With disappointment I noticed that the crystal ball was not glowing, nor had the wing been turned to ash.

"You felt it?" Malkarov asked me.

"Yes," I answered, "I felt the flash inside me and I pushed it up to the flash behind my eyes and spoke the words."

He frowned a little, "I could feel it. I felt the magic inside you as if you were casting the spell. Once we recognised the feel of magic inside of us, we begin to recognise the feel of magic around us and in others. With just the feel of it, I would have said that you had definitely cast the spell. Would you like to give it a try again?"

I nodded and closed my eyes once more. I repeated the words inside my head and much quicker than the previous time I felt the flash and the tingle. It only happened twice this time, before I felt the answering flash from inside me. It was just as hard to push up, but push I did. Eventually the two flashes merged together and I spoke the words again. Once more the flashes inside exploded inside me and dissipated. I opened my eyes hopefully and saw once more a hand that held a firefly wing and another that held a crystal globe that wasn't glowing. I sighed in disappointment. Instead of feeling resigned, I grew more determined. I let out a huff and closed my eyes once more.

This time, the flashes all occurred together the very first time I said the words. In frustration I pushed the flash as hard and quickly as I could. The resistance I had expected from the previous two times was not there. It happened so, so quickly. Before I could even do or think anything, the flash; instead of pushing 'up the hill' to meet the other flash behind my eyes shot down my arm to my hand. It made my whole arm tingly and cold as it travelled down.

Panic shot through me.

The flash travelled down to my hand where it ended with an explosive flash equal to the previous two times.

Then there was nothing.

AUTHORS LOG:

I'd apologise for the cliff hanger... but I don't want to.  
:P  
Please please leave reviews, follow and favourite if you like.  
I love getting reviews.


	23. Chapter 22

AUTHORS NOTE:

Thanks so much for the reviews Drouppi and Archer1eye, they mean so much to me! I love getting feedback and queries about where the story will be going!

Anyone interested in the book diagram should look up 'Elemental planes' in google and check out the pictures, they are the basics of the planes.

 **Chapter 22**

11th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I opened my eyes.

With disappointment I noted that my hand still contained an intact firefly wing. I let out a huff of frustration.

"I don't understand what's going wrong," I said as I looked Malkarov in the eyes.

He looked frozen, as if he had begun to rush towards me but couldn't actually move from his spot. He wasn't looking me in the eyes, he was looking down at my hands with eyes that were wide with fear.

I looked down, myself. Hand with firefly wings. Hand with black glowing crystal…. Black glowing crystal?

"What?" I said out loud. "What happened?"

"Are…" Malkarov stuttered, visibly relaxing but still seeming to be prepared to rush towards me. "Are you all right? Are you hurt, are you feeling faint?"

I took a mental stock of myself, "I'm alright. I'm not hurting anywhere, I feel all right."

I looked back down at the glowing crystal ball in my hand. It was actually glowing, but not with any sort of light I had ever seen before. The crystal, that was earlier clear, was now pitch black. Black light, if such a thing were naturally possible was projected from it. Tinges of purple ghosted over the surface of the ball, like purple smoke.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I… I don't know." He replied. "Your material component wasn't consumed, you didn't speak the words aloud. Nothing should have happened, except that it did. I felt it. The only thing it could be is if you did exactly what I told you not to do, except that just beginning with magic you shouldn't have been able to. And don't get me started on your seeming!"

"What do you mean, I shouldn't have been able to? Why did you warn me about it, if I shouldn't have been able to?" I asked, speaking much more rudely than I intended. I was obviously panicking, just like he was.

"It's an important warning that's given to every apprentice before they cast their first spell. But there are blocks to prevent you from actually doing it until you are much more experienced." He explained, "You… I think… I believe that you may have just cast a light spell without using ANY components. It's something that I've seen before, but that was by the Grand-Master Wizard. He underwent multiple rituals to be able to do it without the material components and even more again to be able to do it without speaking the words!"

"What does that mean?" I asked, confused.

He stopped and looked thoughtful for a few moments, "I… I don't know."

He physically deflated, "I don't know. I don't have a clue. This shouldn't even be possible. Why don't we get ourselves another hot drink and head down to the ground floor?"

He turned and started to walk towards the landing and I went to stand up but realised that I still had my hands full.

"Malkarov?" I asked, and he turned, "What do I do with these?"

He hesitated for a moment, then strode towards me. He took the glowing orb from my hand, tentatively, and inspected it for a moment before extending his other hand to help me stand.

Once I was standing he said, "Put the wing back into the jar and the jar on the shelf then come down to the kitchen."

As I went to the cupboard I looked back at him and he was walking slowly towards the landing, inspecting the black glowing orb in his hands. I put the wing back into the jar and replaced the jar on the shelf then took myself down to the kitchen.

Malkarov was sitting on a chair at the table with the crystal ball resting in front of him. He looked puzzled by it. I stood on the landing, for some reason afraid to walk any closer. I didn't fully understand what I had done, but I knew that it was forbidden, it was something bad. It was something… different.

Suddenly, Malkarov sat back and slapped himself on the forehead. I jumped a little at the aggressive suddenness of his movements. He jumped up quickly and started running towards me until he caught sight of me on the landing. He stopped then, almost skidded to a halt and looked a little ashamed of himself.

"Oh! Sorry Sharein," he apologised, "I'm such an idiot sometimes. _Identify_ should tell me some of what we need to know, it can be done either through divination or ritual. The divination should tell me everything I need to know. I'll just head upstairs to grab the components. Why don't you pour us both a drink and I'll be back down in a moment."

I prepared our drinks, keeping an eye on the orb from out of the corner of my eye. Malkarov hadn't come back down yet and curiosity gave me an idea. I placed the drinks down onto the table and walked over towards the landing. The light from the crystals about the room were obviously interfering with the light from my crystal ball and I wanted to know what it would look like with the other lights off.

I held the rune to dim the lights and watched as the white light from the crystals faded, there was still a bit of light from the fireplace and the windows, but it made the light from my globe even more obvious and strange.

The colours on the tapestries appeared muted, darker. The stone of the roof, while I could easily make out the roughness of it's 'terrain', It all appeared much darker. While I could see very clearly, just as clearly as with any other light it was obviously a 'black' light. It was almost as if the entire room had been smothered with shadow. I was just about to turn the crystal lights back on when Malkarov came down the stairs carrying a large clear bowl and his staff. These, he almost dropped in surprise. The bowl seemed to be made of crystal and his staff was long and straight, dark wood with runes engraved all down it's length. The staff's base was capped with metal and had his expression not being one of such urgent surprise I would have asked him about it.

"What did you do?" he asked suddenly, quickly, afraid.

"I turned down the lights?" I said, "I just wanted to see what my light looked like."

"Why are you glowing?" he asked, unsure.

I looked down at my hand, and sure enough, my skin was glowing slightly. It wasn't extremely bright, but it was obvious.

"I… I don't know," I replied.

He came down a few steps, and moved onto the landing and he started glowing as well!

"Now you're glowing!" I exclaimed.

He stepped back up the steps and the glowing stopped!

"It's a reaction to the light," he said, "a side effect. Is it just us that glow?"

I looked around the room, nothing else was glowing like us, "It appears so."

"Curious," he murmured, "it gives me a thought, but one that _identify_ should confirm."

"This should take but a moment," he said, striding into the room and placing the bowl onto the table, "turn the lights back on if you would and come over here."

I followed his instructions and looked into the bowl. Inside was a feather. Malkarov picked up the bowl and carried it over to the benchtop tub. He pushed the rune for cold water and let the bowl fill up a bit before he carried it back to the table.

"Time for a quick divination lesson, I suppose." He stated, "We don't have too much time before your spell ends, so I'll explain as I do."

He dipped one hand into the water, where the feather floated freely and with the other he held his staff such that the tip was touching the top of the orb, "Divinations all work differently and are similar to other schools of magic where you actually cast spells but the components are usually always crystal related. This bowl is made from a block of quartz, the owl's feather is the consumable component required for the spell."

He spoke the magical phrase required and I watched as the feather disintegrated into ash, I felt something coming from him as well; like the flash inside me but coming from him instead. It was fairly faint, an echo of an echo, but it was there. That must be what he meant by feeling the magic!

"Well, well," he said after a moment in a strange tone almost detached and talking to himself, "well, well indeed!"

He stepped back from the table and leant his staff against it, "let's leave this here for now. I need this drink and a seat, then I shall explain the impossible… or at least the extremely unlikely."

We left the bowl and the crystal ball where they were and carried our mugs downstairs to the ground floor. Taking our seats we sat sipping our drinks for a few moments. I waited patiently, expectantly for him to talk while he seemed to be in a state of continuous shock and disbelief. A couple of times he opened his mouth as if he were about to speak, but closed it abruptly.

Eventually he did say "I'm not sure what to do about this. We can't risk you practicing spell casting until we know better about what happened and I don't want to disclose your seeming as it will definitely cause a stir. But I can't consult anyone else without disclosing it."

"Answers, answers now." he muttered to himself then looked straight at me, "I told you that seemings almost always align to the main elements: fire, earth, air and water. These are the main elements."

Abruptly he raised his finger and jumped up out of his seat with great alacrity, rushing over to one of the bookshelves he quickly withdrew a book without even having to pause to look for it. This he opened straight to a page and put it down into my lap with a flourish. As I looked at the picture displayed on the page, he sat down again.

The picture showed a ring, segmented into four pieces, each containing the names of one of the elements. Between each segment was a wedge leading towards the centre. Between Fire and earth was 'magma'. Between fire and air was 'smoke'. Between air and water was 'ice' and between water and earth was 'marsh'. Inside the elemental ring was another ring, segmented into six pieces. Underneath air was 'lightning' and 'vacuum'. Underneath earth was 'mineral' and 'dust'. Underneath fire was 'ash' and underneath water was 'steam'. Finally, inside that ring was another segmented into two. These were labelled 'Positive' and 'Negative'. Finally the centre of these rings was labelled 'Prime'.

"As you can see," Malkarov explained, "Seemings almost always align to the four main elements. Very very rarely will someone appear with the seeming of a para element. The para elements are the combinations of two elements. Air and water combined, creates the para element of ice, for instance. Just as rarely will someone appear with the seeming of a quasi element. These are the ones underneath the main four elements. Those are the elements that everything is made from. Everything here that appears on what is called the Prime Material Plane, the bit in the centre."

I traced my finger to the centre of the rings, where 'Prime' was written. I noted that he hadn't mentioned the innermost rings yet.

"If the elements are all that are required to create… things, there are two other forces that directly affect us." Malkarov continued, "The Positive Material and the Negative Material. These are, to put it simply: Life and Death. Creation and destruction. Something and nothing."

He paused to sip his drink as I puzzled over the implications of what he has just said. None of the quasi or para elements seemed to match my seeming, except perhaps the smokiness of the purple that was running over the surface of the orb.

"The negative material Sharein," he said with finality, "The negative material is your seeming."


	24. Chapter 23

AUTHORS NOTE:

Thanks so much again for the reviews Drouppi and Archer1eye, I love the questions and theories and especially feedback in any shape or form!

 **Chapter 23**

11th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

Death, destruction, nothing was my seeming.

"I know you must be shocked at the moment and worried," Malkarov said to me, but all that did was make me feel like something was wrong with me.

Should I be worried? Should I be shocked? If anything, I felt… elation? Tenebrae is the Goddess of darkness, of 'nothing'. From the stories that Shard told me, essentially she is the Goddess of death as well, for without light then everything would die. This revelation made me feel closer to Shard. It made me feel like a part of her was inside me. Even if her pleadings with Tenebrae came to naught, I felt that my seeming would be evidence of the connection between us! I couldn't wait to tell Shard about this, this fantastic news that made me instantly forget all of my worry about the strangeness surrounding my use of magic. *Almost* all of my worry, I realised with a start. What good is a seeming that seems to fit me so well if I cannot cast spells without the worry that I disintegrate into ash?

"I'm… Not," I said slowly, "well, not about my seeming at least. I'm worried about what happened when I cast the spell."

"Ah!" Malkarov said, then paused and uttered in a manner that made me think it was a prompt to continue, "Oh?"

After a brief moment he continued anyway, "Yes, well. Magic does follow some rules. If you cast a light spell in this method without any ill effects, then it stands that any further castings of light spells should be able to be repeated similarly without ill effects. I'm not an expert in this matter, however."

"So," I said slowly, hopefully, "I should be able to cast a light spell again without any problem?"

"Oh yes," he said quickly, "I'm quite sure of it. Magic is very consistent like that."

Now that I'd had my first taste, I didn't want to have it taken away from me. I pushed it a little more, "So… Could I try casting it again now?"

Distractedly he said "Oh yes, of course you could."

As soon as I heard yes, I had my eyes closed and the phrase was running through my head. The flashes occurred together and I pushed the one inside straight out my arm into the mug I held. The flash exploded and inside there was nothing once more. I opened my eyes to see my mug glowing with the same black light as the globe. Malkarov was sitting in his seat opposite me, tapping one finger to his lips and an eyebrow raised. Slowly the other joined it.

"That light through your seeming is extremely interesting," he pondered, "I wonder how a negative seeming will work with a _manipulate elements_ spell?"

"What's a _manipulate elements_ spell?" I asked, curious.

"Exactly as it sounds," he said with a smile and jumped up excitedly, "it lets you manipulate your seeming. For me, it lets me manipulate the wind in minor ways. It doesn't even require material components, so let's try it out shall we?"

He said the words and I felt the echo of his magic as he cast the spell. I looked around curious after a few moments, trying to see some sort of effect. He smiled at me cheekily and I felt my hair whip around my face, obscuring my view of him as if a sudden gale had whipped up. I brushed the hair out of my eyes and realised that nothing else in the room was moving! It was Malkarov manipulating the wind just around me! I smiled in understanding. It was fantastic!

It stopped and Malkarov explained, "This is a little bit different from the light spell. With that, you simply cast it and it happened, without further thought. With this spell, as you cast it or even before you do, you must feel out your element and control it; bend it to your will. I understand that it is slightly different with different seemings to begin with. For me, it was like wrestling something insubstantial. I cannot begin to ponder what it will feel like for you. Did you catch the words?"

I took a moment, it was one thing to recast the light spell that Malkarov had already said would work the same, it was another to try a different spell, "Are you sure it will be safe?"

"Safe?" he asked, as if the concept hadn't even crossed his mind, "Oh, yes. Not much magic involved and it operates on similar principles to the light spell. It should be all right."

I shrugged, nodded and closed my eyes. With the words running through my head, I felt the flash of magic behind my eyes and the tingle down my spine. I did not immediately feel the flash of magic inside of me. I wondered whether something was wrong, when I realised that perhaps with this being a new spell it would take time for the magic to answer. I kept at it, for what seemed like forever. Eventually I felt the answering flash inside and when the two began to occur simultaneously I pushed it down my arm. This is where I came across a problem.

It wouldn't go out. There was something there preventing the magic from leaving me. Or… more precisely nothing. There was nothing there. With the light spell, I could feel it going through my arm into the ball, or into the mug. Now, here… there was nothing for it to go into. I stopped trying to force the magic out and it slowly began to recede back up my arm into the centre of my mass. I stopped repeating the words and opened my eyes to see Malkarov staring at me expectantly.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I shook my head, "I felt the answering flash and I pushed it down my arm, but it wouldn't go out. There was nothing there for it to go out *to*."

He "Hmmmmm'd" for a moment then let out a little laugh, "I've never had this problem, but wizards with other seemings do, and I should have realised it. I'm sorry Sharein, I've never been without air to manipulate but at the moment there is no negative energy for you to feel. Just as if a wizard with a fire seeming were to attempt the spell without any fire around them."

He stood up then, drained the rest of his mug and reached out to take mine. I finished the last of my drink and handed it to him.

"I'll head up to put away the things in the kitchen. You may spend the rest of the afternoon reading, in or out of the bath if you prefer," he said to me then leaned closer to whisper (which struck me as a little odd with just the two of us in the room), "It's a guilty pleasure of mine to read in the bath, especially these baths. While I'd much rather you didn't drop your book into the water, should it happen then just bring it to me and I shall use air to dry it out."

WIth that, he walked away up the steps, I stood to follow and heard him call down "I'm going to send for a friend to come for me to talk to about our problem with your casting. He will probably arrive today or tomorrow if he's not busy."

"Okay," I shouted in reply and continued up the steps.

"When you hear the chime for the door it will be Missus Rose with dinner, can you please bring it up? The lunch basket is by the door," came another instruction down the stairway.

"Okay," I shouted again, up the stairs and continued into my room on the second floor.

I ran the bath and undressed, refusing to run the risk of getting a book wet. I had a nice long soak in the bath until I realised that my finger tips were starting to prune. Once the bath was done, I lay on my bed reading _A treatise on elemental seeming influences and predictions_. It was terribly interesting in parts but extremely dull in others. It was almost as if it were written by two completely different authors, which I suppose was possible or even likely. There was no name credited to the writing for me to confirm one way or another. Eventually, just as I had reached another dull bit and was contemplating putting the book back on the shelf, I heard the single chime for the front door. I put the book back onto the shelf carefully and rushed down the stairs. Opening the door revealed Missus Rose, as predicted. She was holding a slightly larger wicker basket than the lunch one and beamed at me once she saw me.

"Oh my dear Sharein, I'm so glad it was you that answered," she began and in response to my smile and blush continued, "The pig turned out very well indeed. There are some roasted root vegetables in there as well."

She looked over my shoulder to see if Malkarov was there, it was so obvious that I whispered to her "He's upstairs, I believe."

"Wrapped up in the leaves," Missus Rose whispered to me conspiratorially, "is a freshly slaughtered chicken. Malkarov mentioned to me once that he absolutely loved your mother's honey roasted chicken. I've included in there what I think are the ingredients. When he mentioned that you'd be cooking tomorrow night, I thought this might be a good way to surprise him."

"Thank-you MIssus Rose," I replied, giving her a big hug and taking the basket from her.

"It's nothing dear," she replied, leaning past me to pick up the lunch time basket, "I worry about him is all. He needs a wife, I think, But none of the free women or girls in town have ever interested him. Obviously one must be a wizard to marry a wizard."

The last bit was followed rapidly by a wink that left me pondering if Shard would count as a wizard if there was indeed some restriction on whom I could marry. As Missus Rose walked off down the path, I closed the door and walked up the steps to the kitchen. I shook my head at the silly direction my thoughts took me. Even if I had to marry a wizard AND Shard counted as a wizard, I doubt I'd still be able to marry another woman.

"Silly Shar," I whispered to myself as I unpacked dinner.

I pressed the bell rune three times to let Malkarov know that dinner was ready and when he arrived into the room I asked him "Missus Rose brought some meat around for me to cook up tomorrow night, where do I put it?"

"Oh, of course," he said, mostly to himself, "the last door on the right is enchanted to remain cool, as if it were a pit dug into frozen ground. Meat that's put in there will last quite a while."

I opened the door to an empty cupboard and put the chicken inside. There was no temperature difference with the door open, but as I placed my hand into the cupboard with the chicken I could feel the difference in temperature. It was indeed cold inside.

We ate our dinner with a little light conversation, mostly Malkarov asking me about my friends in town. He told me that I could take some time to visit them when I did the shopping tomorrow, which I was thankful for. Once dinner was done, we both headed down to our rooms to read before bed.

I continued the treatise I was reading earlier and when I finished it I decided that it would be a good point to go to sleep. I replaced the book on the shelf and got back under the covers. Just as I turned off the lights, two bells chimed and the room was dark.

As I lay there I thought over all of the events that occured during that day. I couldn't wait to tell Shard about them and I practiced in my head the words that I would use when I could visit her altar.

—-

12th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

—-

I woke to darkness.

Something felt off, strange.

I wasn't in bed.

I was standing. In darkness.

I looked down at myself and despite the darkness, I could see myself quite clearly.

I looked up and it felt like my heart had stopped. There, standing in front of me… was Shard.

"Shard!" I exclaimed and ran into her arms, sobbing I cried, "I love you, I miss you."

She returned the hug and it felt so, so real. Some part of me told me that it wasn't though, that it was a dream. I ignored that part as best I could.

Shard leaned back out of the hug and kissed me, a steaming passionate kiss that left me wanting more and cursing at how short it was.

She took a step back, but took hold of my hands in hers.

"Listen, I don't have much time," she said, "I heard your prayer and even just visiting you like this has delayed my return by a month."

I opened my mouth to say something but she looked at me sternly, "My quest is going well, I think, I hope. I'm so very proud of you, and so happy about your seeming. But it does have me concerned, that something else is at play. Don't worry about the strange way that magic works with you, I can't tell you why it is why it is, but I can tell you that you will not be consumed for lack of components, nor will you ever actually require a staff or to speak the words. Obviously this should be kept a secret as much as possible, others will become jealous and may seek you out to take from you the method, though it is not a method that can be taken or shared."

"I love you Sharein," she said even as she started to fade away…

"I love you too," I mumbled as I woke up.


	25. Chapter 24

AUTHORS NOTES:

Once again, thank you so much for the reviews. Especially Drouppi and Archer1eye!

 **Chapter 24**

12th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I woke up happy and refreshed. I was so happy that Shard had paid me a visit, that she had come to talk to me and reassure me. Just the knowledge that I had nothing to worry about with my spellcasting peculiarities was a weight off my mind. The sky outside my window was starting to get light, so I hopped up and washed myself quickly with some water from the bath tub. I decided that today was the day that I would wear the trousers and shirt. From what I had seen of his personality over the previous two days I didn't think that he would be the sort to worry about traditions when it came to what I wore.

I pulled the trousers up and marvelled at Mother's work. They felt so comfortable, hugging my body like a second skin. Once dressed I headed up to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, realising that Malkarov would likely be up soon. I decided upon porridge; I found one jar with some crushed long grain and another with some crushed oats. I poured twice the amount of oats as long grain into a large pot and added enough milk to cover the grains. I found another jar with some mixed dried fruits, of different types cut up finely. I took a handful, they were very sticky and stuck together and I crumbled them into the porridge. I put the pot down onto the rack slightly off the fire, so that it would heat up slowly.

While I waited for it to heat up I decided to run through one of the two spells I had learned the day before. I had already cast the _light_ spell successfully twice and hadn't yet managed the _manipulate elements_ spell, so that was the one I decided to attempt again.

I recalled the phrase for the spell and felt the flashes occur simultaneously. It was just as easy to push the magic down my arm and this time I felt an echo from outside my body as it got closer to my hand. Something was answering the magic. I pushed the magic out my hand and towards the echo. I felt the flash explode within me, the tell-tale feeling that I had successfully cast a spell, and then nothing. I opened my eyes and looked around, I could still faintly feel the echo of magic nearby but couldn't tell exactly where it was coming from.

I realised that I had better stir the porridge a little and took up a wooden spoon, stepping over towards the pot.

*Creeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaak* came the unexpected sound of a cupboard door opening behind me. I froze, spoon held out halfway to the pot. I heard a wet, fleshy sounding *splat* from behind me. I felt the little hairs on my arms stand up stiff and I felt a tingle at the back of my neck. Time seemed to slow. Ever so slowly I turned around to look in the direction of the sounds.

The first thing I noticed was that one of the cupboards was open, the last one. On the floor in front of it was the chicken carcass, leaves scattered in the cupboard and around it. I stared at the scene for a moment, watching for movement, for the cause. If something pushed the chicken out of the cupboard, perhaps it was still in there?

Nothing moved.

I took a step backwards, towards the stairs.

A shiver went through me when the chicken carcass moved.

It pushed itself up onto it's drumsticks using it's wings.

It. Stood. Up.

I ran for the landing and paused briefly to look back towards the kitchen. It was following me, walking unsteadily on it's 'legs', even in the brief moment that I had paused it had made up half the space between us. It had worked it's way up to a run, flapping it's small pointy 'wings' as it came straight for me!

With a loud shriek I sprinted down the stairs, almost tripping over and falling the remainder to the next lowest level. I turned the corner quickly and paused at the doors to our bedrooms. I watched the landing like a hawk. From the stairs, I heard a *splat* *splat* *splat* sound and the chicken carcass soon *splatted* into view on the landing. It must have fallen down the stairs. I paused hesitantly, until it lifted itself back up once more and started walking towards me again.

Quickly I reached out my left arm and opened Malkarov's door and rushed into his room screaming.

They looked up from their positions on the bed, identical expressions of shock on their faces. Malkarov was kneeling near the end of the bed, his naked bottom raised in the air. The other man was laying on his back, his erect member pointing up from his body.

Three things happened simultaneously: I screamed out "Help me!" as I ran into the room, pointing behind me. Malkarov rolled off the bed away from me, dragging the blanket with him. He landed on the floor with a thud. The other man grabbed a pillow off the bed and slammed it down onto his crotch, he then let out a loud exclamation of pain in a language that I didn't recognise.

There wasn't enough time for me to take note of what was in his room, but the bed appeared to provide the largest barrier. I ran around it quickly, crouched down and peeked over the top towards the door, the other occupants of the room briefly forgotten.

Malkarov sat up next to me, blanket wrapped around him and looked towards the door.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked urgently.

I pointed fearfully, my hand wavering, towards the door just as the chicken corpse appeared in the hall through the doorway.

I watched frozen as it turned very, very slowly towards Malkarov's bedroom.

I heard Malkarov call out words of magic and felt the flash of his magic from immediately next to me. Six, glowing arrows appeared above the bed in front of us and shot off quick as a flash towards the unusually animated chicken. Before I could blink, every single arrow impacted upon the chicken carcass, lifting it up into the air and shredding it into pieces. The pieces slammed into my bedroom door and remained frozen there for a brief moment before dropping to the floor.

I stared at the pieces of meat for a few moments longer, not daring to come out from behind Malkarov's protective furniture.

"Is… is it dead?" I asked.

"It's definitely dead," said the stranger on the bed.

I looked over at him when he spoke and realised with a shock a detail that I had overlooked when first I saw him. He was an elf! His lithe body (from what I could see that was not covered by a pillow) was hairless, as was his face. His long straight, golden coloured hair was parted around pointed ears. His face was thin and slightly longer than a human's, with high cheekbones. His skin was very pale, with an almost silver sheen to it.

"Sharein…" Malkarov said slowly from next to me, "...what was that?"

"Uh," I began, "I tried the _manipulate elements_ spell while I waited for the porridge to…"

The porridge!

Urgently I pulled myself to my feet, "the porridge will burn!" I shouted as I ran out of the door.

I slowed dramatically once I was in the hallway, stepping carefully around the splattered meat before I ran back up to the kitchen.

I was still stirring the porridge when Malkarov and his guest (both thankfully dressed) came up the steps.

The action of stirring the porridge had a calming effect on me and I was able to start to process the things that had occurred so quickly. I realised that I had made the chicken corpse come to life, that was my fault. I realised with a flush of embarrassment what I had seen when I opened Malkarov's bedroom door and the implications of that, or at least some of them. I realised that I should probably have not just run into his room, that I was entirely the cause of the embarrassment that I was currently feeling and was likely to increase momentarily.

"The porridge is ready, thankfully not burned. I've added some dried fruit to it and with a nice dash of honey it should be quite nice. If you have some, ground egg-nut seeds go quite well." I prattled, hoping to delay the inevitable as long as possible. I spoke into the porridge, rather than look at them any more than my initial furtive glance.

"Serve it up then Sharein, then come and sit down so that we can… discuss the events of this morning," Malkarov said sternly.

I stiffened little with guilt, aware from his obviously angry tone that I was definitely in trouble.

"Yes, sir," I responded, lifting the pot off the rack and setting it onto the table. I collected bowls and spoons and set the table, then served up the porridge. Malkarov had already fixed us all hot drinks and I sat down tentatively in my usual spot. The stranger sat down opposite me, to Malkarov's left.

I kept my eyes on my porridge and waited for Malkarov to tell me to pack up my things and go home to my parents.

"Eat, Sharein," he said and I mechanically brought a spoonful of porridge to my mouth.

Malkarov let out a sigh. Here it was, about to come.

"We need to talk about what you saw this morning," he said slowly, "between Alladrial and I."

"It's okay," I said. I didn't really care about *that*, I just wanted him to hurry up and give me the bad news.

"I don't think you understand Sharein," he said, "If the town knew about us, they would probably run me out, Wizard or not. Not even Father Mattias could prevent it."

Oh. But I did understand. He was worried that I would tell someone about him. If I didn't trust Mari as much as I did, as much as she'd proven to deserve that trust, I'd worry about that as well.

"I understand completely," I reassured him.

I was just about to continue when he said, "No you don't."

I frowned at him, and reiterated "Yes, I do. Father Mattias saw that I wasn't interested in boys and would have suggested the priesthood, except that I didn't have the calling to serve. That's when he suggested an apprenticeship with you."

"Oh," he said, simply with a far-away look.

His guest Alladrial started laughing, a clear musical laughter.

Malkarov shot him a frowning look, which only seemed to make him laugh louder.

"So, what happened this morning?" He asked me.

"Well, I was waiting for the porridge to heat up so I thought I'd try the _manipulate elements_ spell again. It worked, but I couldn't tell what it had done. I was about to stir the porridge and the cupboard door opened and the chicken fell… or I suppose jumped out. Then it chased me," I explained.

Malkarov giggled a little, "It didn't chase you to get you."

"It didn't?" I asked, confused.

"No, it followed you to stay close enough for your spell to continue affecting it," he explained, "You raised a zombie chicken."

"I what?" I asked, confused.

"Necromancy is considered a sub-school of the school of ritual magic," he explained, "it deals with bringing the dead back to life, or I should say un-life. Depending upon the ritual the re-animated corpses or things may be able to obey simple commands or may in fact be able to think for themselves. Your seeming had the same effect when you cast _manipulate elements_. It wasn't a true zombie as such, the spell probably wouldn't be powerful enough to reanimate a human corpse, but was obviously enough for a chicken."

"Your Celestine church," Alladrial spoke up, his accent was as musical as his laughter, "does not look favourably upon the art of necromancy. I should be wary of using that spell where a priest might see you."

I nodded to him to show that I understood. My life seemed to be nothing but secrets now, I had to keep Shard a secret, I had to keep my seeming secret and I had to keep secret the fact that I could use magic without components.

"Oh, silly me," Malkarov admonished himself, "Alladrial this is my apprentice Sharein, Sharein this is my… friend Alladrial."

I smiled at him, "Pleased to meet you Alladrial," even as he said "It's a pleasure."

Alladrial turned to Malkarov with a raised eyebrow, "Friend?"

"Okay, okay," Malkarov muttered, "something somehow more than friend. You could say that we're 'walking out'."

I'd suggest that they shouldn't have been doing what they were doing until they were married, but how hypocritical would that have been?

"Alladrial is the one I mentioned who I might invite to cook for us, but honestly that was just a story to justify his visits," Malkarov explained, "and I invited him today to discuss with him your difficulties and eccentricities."

"Your seeming is not completely unheard of Sharien," Alladrial explained, "there have been others on record as well as those whose seeming is positive material. Unfortunately, unlike even the rare quasi-elemental seemings there is no record of how your seeming will manifest itself with any given spell, so we shall have to test to find out. As for your other… problem. There is no record of that ever happening before. I'd suggest being careful about who you tell about it."

Alladrial turned to Malkarov, "and I can only hope that you have not already sent a missive to your guild telling them about it?"

Malkarov frowned at Alladrial, "what sort of question is that?"

"The sort of question asked by someone who knows you well enough to know how often you will jump before looking," Alladrial said in what I guessed was his equivalent of a deadpan tone

"I'm shocked," Malkarov stated loudly, in a tone that I wasn't too sure was serious, "shocked and offended!".

"Did you teach Sharein how to cancel her _manipulate elements_ spell before you taught her how to cast it?"Alladrial asked.

"Well of *course* she knows that to cancel it, all she has to do is sever the link between her magic and the element affected by it," Malkarov said, with such a look of pleading that I almost immediately backed him up.

Alladrial however, saw the look and recognised it for the lie it was; he merely muttered "idiot" in a somehow loving way.

Once breakfast was finished and cleaned up, Malkarov instructed me to clean up the chicken pieces and dispose of them by dropping them into the in-house. He handed me a money pouch and instructed me to head into town for the things I'd need to cook dinner.

"Stop by the Pig and Wheelbarrow first to let Missus Rose know that we shall require lunch for three today and then collect the basket at midday on your way back," he said, before he and Alladrial retired to Malkarov's bedroom.


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

12th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I cleaned up the remains of the zombie chicken and headed out of the tower into town, taking the dinner basket and a spare one with me. With the excitement of the morning, I had completely forgotten that I was dressed somewhat… differently. That forgetfulness was soon remedied when the first couple of people in town caught sight of me. It was actually a little funny, the reactions. People generally fell into two groups; those who glanced at me and saw a man, then had to take a second look when they saw who I was and those who greeted me first, but by the time I had looked to them to return the greeting they were instead staring at me in shock and confusion. This repeated almost continuously until I began to regret my decision. I hadn't really thought about how much of a stir it would cause (you'd think that I'd have learned from the hair change incident).

I walked half the length of the town to the Pig and Wheelbarrow to inform Missus Rose that we would be needing lunch for three. She was as shocked as anyone else, but as I was staying to actually converse with her she had the opportunity to comment.

"Sharein, my dear, you look like a man!" she exclaimed when I walked into the inn. This caused everyone's heads to swivel in my direction. It was still early, so there weren't that many people in there; Master Togar was there (as I understood it, he spent most days in the inn for the company it gave him, some merchant caravan guards (who strangely enough, barely gave a second glance to me past the first one) and one or two farmers who were likely in town to do some trading.

I looked down at myself, 'I do?'

"Where would even get such clothes? And what would possess you to dress in them?" she asked loudly before she came up closer and whispered (which was still fairly loud), "You'll never catch the heart of the wizard dressing like that!"

I tried, I really tried not to burst out laughing. My immediate thought was that I'd have a better chance dressing like I was than in a dress, but then I wondered why I would want to catch his heart? Her previous 'advice' clicked and try as I might, I couldn't help but let out a fit of laughter that left me almost on the ground with tears coming out of my eyes. It wasn't until the laughter died down that I realised the difficulty of explaining the situation. I had also managed to successfully capture the attention of everyone in the inn, even the merchant's guards who hadn't looked twice when I came in.

"Ahhhh… Mother made them for me," I said, although it sounded unconvincing to my ears to warrant such laughter, "I'd worn a pair of Jocam's to help Father and the boys in the field and mentioned how comfortable they felt."

Missus Rose exhibited such a frown as I had ever seen on her face, but seemed somewhat mollified. After all, she could not naysay a decision made by my mother over her raising me.

Despite this, she still said "Well, I'll not be surprised if you are the talk of the town for _another_ tenday."

"Another tenday?" I asked.

"When your hair changed to black, it was all anybody could talk about," Missus Rose replied freely, then seemed to realise that she had been caught admitting to gossiping. Honestly, I knew everyone was probably talking about it, but hardly anyone actually asked me. The gossip in town must have been much more effective than the news that reached us out on the farms.

One of the merchant's guards, an older man wearing well worn leather armour spoke up, "Now, now Missus Rose, don't be makin' such a fuss with the poor girl. Why, I've seen many an adventuring lass wearing trousers and more!"

Missus Rose rounded on the white mustachioed guard, "Adventuring? Adventuring! Now Mister Argos, you go around spouting such nonsense in here and I might be thinking that you've already had too much to drink!"

"I didn't mean nothing by it Missus Rose, but it's true. Why, I even worked with a lass guarding a caravan…" He said, then spoke to himself, "Now, what was her name?"

He called out to another guard who was just coming down the stairs from the upstairs rooms, "Pard! What was that lass' name? The one that helped us guard old man Crozer's Caravan out to Darkholme?"

I watched the younger similarly dressed man smile a bit wistfully, "You'd forget your own name Johan, if we didn't use it all the time. That was Marda, Marda Everfrost."

"There you go Missus Rose, corroborating evidence!" The older guard said with a flourish.

"A woman caravan guard?" Missus Rose said in disbelief, "Well, I never. That's not the sort of profession a girl who was raised properly would enter."

She gave the guards a stern look, then fetched them a mug of ale each; possibly in the hopes that they would keep busy with them rather than speak any more distressing concepts. As for me, the idea that women could be caravan guards came at a bit of a shock. It shouldn't I know, but even prior to recent events the idea that a woman could be a wizard was a little shocking to me. Not so much that we wouldn't be capable, but that we would be allowed. I wasn't sure if the announcement of my apprenticeship got the gossip wheels turning in town, but it wouldn't have surprised me if it had.

"I just stopped by, Missus Rose; to request lunch for three today, and to let you know that I shall collect it on my way back to the tower," I said to Missus Rose politely, when it became apparent that she'd dropped the issue of my trousers and seemed instead to be intently drying some mugs.

"Oh yes? Of course my dear, of course," she said with a smile. I handed her the wicker basket from last night's dinner and left the inn to make my way first to the bakery. I reasoned that I should get distracted talking to Brahdi before I had a full basket to carry.

"Sharein!" Brahdi pretty much shouted as soon as I stepped into the bakery, poor Missus Andars almost jumped with fright at the unexpected outburst.

"Good morning Brahdi," I said, much more demurely, "and good morning to you as well Missus Andars."

"Good morning Sharein," said Missus Andars looking me up and down skeptically, "or should that be Apprentice Wizard Askilain?"

"Just Sharein if you don't mind Missus Andars, I'm only on my third day," I replied with a blush.

Missus Andars paid Brahdi for her purchase and I opened the door for her. She thanked me on the way out and wished me a good day. I barely heard the sharp intake of breath from behind me.

"I can see your backside as if you were stark naked!" Brahdi almost shouted and I resisted the temptation to slap my forehead in exasperation at her antics when Missus Imbier came out from the back room.

"Brahdi, what in the light is going on out here?" she admonished, then stopped short when she saw me.

She didn't say anything about the way I was dressed, which was a little surprising to me, instead she turned to Brahdi and said "You know, if you wore something like that in front of a boy you fancied, you might be able to keep hold of him."

I turned around to face them in embarrassment but Missus Imbier demanded that I twirl around for them to show off the trousers.

"It really does show off the shape of her backside quite nicely, doesn't it?" she said to Brahdi rhetorically, "I'm guessing that your mother made them for you, Sharein?"

"Yes Missus Imbier," I informed her. The idea that she was looking at the shape of my bottom in the trousers both excited and embarrassed me.

"I'll bet everyone has been staring at you all morning?" She asked.

"Yes, I confess that for the most part they have, although Malkarov didn't say a word this morning," I told her.

"He wouldn't have batted an eye, I expect," she replied with a laugh that first made me wonder if she _knew_ until she clarified, "he came back to Easthaven about the time that I first arrived. I'll admit that Easthaven is quite isolated and a woman in trousers is nothing out of the ordinary in other places. But you try telling some of the _old biddies_ around here and they would be liable to drop dead!"

We all three let out a bit of a laugh, for my part it reminded me of Missus Rose's reaction. Missus Andars seemed to treat it as if it were some sort of 'wizarding tradition' though.

I chatted with Brahdi briefly, before choosing out a fresh loaf of bread, a loaf of bread from the day before and putting both into my basket. I paid Brahdi three copper bits, bid her goodbye and then made my way to the town square where Master Hearthfall the butcher and Master Redfox the grocer had their shops.

Their shops were the front rooms of their neighbouring two story houses, with great big shuttered windows at the front. Master Redfox's shop had a long hinged bench underneath the window that he laid out baskets of produce. Most of his shop inside was filled with bags of grains, waiting for a travelling merchant to come by. Master Hearthfall's shop had strips of weighted cloth hanging down from the doorway to block flies from coming through into the shop. The smell of his shop was always very coppery with collected blood, from draining the slaughtered animals. Some of which he would make blood sausages out of, the rest would be sold to farmers to be mixed with water to fertilise their crops (it was especially good for Winter Tomatoes).

Farmers would bring in excess wares to town every tenday, stopping by after church to sell the merchants vegetables, berries, grains or animals. Master Redfox would store the grains and commission Master Ayvor the miller to turn the grains into flour. He would then sell the flour alongside his other goods. While many farmers would slaughter their own animals (especially chickens), often storing the meat in pits dug into the ground over winter, it made more sense to bring them into town to be slaughtered by the butcher, where different cuts could be distributed and consumed before they went bad. Both merchants often have merchant caravans stopping by, to sell or buy their excess. Some vegetables would grow well in other parts of Carn, but not grow well here. The opposite was also true, Easthaven grew the best barley anywhere in Carn apparently and some of the better long grain. When it came time for harvest, father would harvest the barley and bag it. Half of it he was intending to Malt, with most of that to be sold to Master Merryman the brewer, but the other half would likely be split between handing to Master Redfox for sale and having Master Ayvor mill for them. Some bags Master Redfox would buy straight out, but others would be set aside for onsale. When a travelling merchant came to town looking to buy barley, Master Redfox would haggle with him to get the best price. The money from this sale would be put aside and every two months he would divvy it up and hand it out to the farmers depending upon how many bags they contributed (as well as keeping a share for himself). Most farmers (my parents included) would often just have Master Redfox keep the money from which future purchases would be deducted.

I bought a new chicken and a pound of bacon from Master Hearthfall for 8 silver moons and 2 copper bits. Master Hearthfall looked at me askance, but didn't question my clothes at all.

I picked out some sage, parsley and thyme for the chicken stuffing as well as a half dozen eggs and some root vegetables; potatoes, pumpkins, ball cabbage and flowering cabbage which all up cost 6 copper bits. Like Master Hearthfall, Master Redfox didn't question my clothing but I did receive a strange look up and down by Master Verda the carpenter as we crossed paths on the way out.

I made my way back to the Pig and Wheelbarrow Inn, where I picked up our lunch. I asked Missus Rose how much I owed her, but she told me that Malkarov pays up his bill every tenday.

Once back at the tower, I knocked on the door knocker to let Malkarov know that I was back and the door swung open on it's own to let me in.


	27. Chapter 26

AUTHORS NOTES:

A whole flood of reviews after that last chapter, I'm so happy!

Veor Hrdenda - Quite often it's easier for new arrivals to tight knit communities to change themselves to fit, rather than hold individualised views. As you can probably guess, by the way Brahdi and her family talk and behave.. They aren't native Easthavians ;) As for sexuality elsewhere, that will be explored and explained further in coming chapters.

Drouppi - My most prolific reviewer! Thanks again! It's a huge shock for her, and people will make more of a deal of it later on… but the opportunity to contrast reactions between outsiders and locals was too much to resist.

Archer1Eye - Thanks so much for the review! I'll try not to be too predictable ;-) Nobody is ever of one mind, but often people will stay quiet so as not to disturb the 'social norms'. Hopefully, I have and will continue to reflect this.

Kar_Vermin - Thank you so much for the kind review! It made me so so happy to read!

Guest - Finally, thank you to the guest reviewer of chapter 16. I hope you get yourself a username so that you can leave signed reviews, and follow so that you don't miss the updates!

Chapter 26

12th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

After I entered the tower and closed the door behind me I made my way up to the third level, putting the chicken I bought into the cold cupboard and unpacked everything else. Malkarov and Alladrial showed up shortly after I had finished. They ran up the stairs giggling at each other in a manner that reminded me of my two younger sisters playing chase-me around the gardens at home. We all sat down to enjoy the delicious pork pies and mugs of ale.. They were absolutely delicious, the gravy tasted like it had been made with ale and a very interesting spice as well and we were soon all sighing in contentment.

Once we had finished our pies, we sat sipping the remainder of our ale. I still had over half of my mug left, I was intending to save some for cooking with later.

I asked Malkarov, "You've travelled around quite a bit?"

He nodded and said "Yes, I've visited places all around Carn as well as Kaz Sarion."

"You didn't mention the way I was dressed this morning," I stated, "I gathered from a merchant's guard in the Pig and Wheelbarrow that it's not that uncommon in other places?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry Sharein," he said apologetically, "to be honest, I didn't even notice! It does look rather nice on you. Sometimes it's hard to reconcile, for me, how backwards Easthaven is compared to other places. Women who join adventuring companies will often wear trousers and although dresses are definitely the norm for women in larger cities you will often find a few wearing trousers. Why, I used to go adventuring with a warrioress named Marda who claimed that she hadn't worn a dress since she was five!"

"Marda… Ever...frost?" I asked, remembering the name the guard used.

"Why yes!" Malkarov exclaimed happily, "Wherever did you hear about her? Why, I haven't seen her in at least three or four years!"

"The caravan guards at the Pig and Wheelbarrow were talking about her, they told Missus Rose that women could wear trousers and said that they had worked with her guarding a caravan," I explained.

He exclaimed, "She is a very interesting woman, let me tell you. We once saved a town, threatened by kobolds and lizard-men and the town mayor decided to throw a dance to thank us. He threw such a fit that Marda wasn't wearing a dress that she almost, _almost_ agreed to wear one. If _he_ would!"

We all burst out laughing, although Malkarov was obviously remembering the incident it painted such a vivid and amusing picture in my mind that I couldn't help but join in.

Once we had calmed down a little Alladrial spoke up, "Elf maidens of Kaz Sarion will most often, but not always, wear dresses, for that is custom. However, those who join the _Sariadaard_ , the… Forest rangers, will exclusively wear trousers, as that is the uniform of the _Sariadaard_."

"Let's pack up, before we get started on your lessons today," Malkarov said, "I'd like for you to demonstrate your _light_ spell for Alladrial firstly, then I shall teach you the basics of summoning magic. Finally, before we finish so that you can prepare dinner, I'll ask Alladrial to demonstrate for you some spell song."

I agreed and soon we found ourselves sitting down in the comfortable chairs on the lower floor. I vaguely recalled Malkarov saying that we'd be using the fourth floor to practice and learn magic, but I got the feeling that he valued comfort over practicality.

"All right Sharein," he requested, "please demonstrate your _light spell."_

I closed my eyes, feeling the now familiar sensations and cast out a ball of black light. Alladrial's eyes widened.

"Even with how you described it," he said to Malkarov, "I did not expect such an interesting manifestation."

"Oh!" Malkarov said, jumping up and moving to the front door, "I forgot to tell you about this!"

Malkarov pressed the rune to dim and turn off the lights, when they did the effect of my seeming became much more obvious. Not only the way things appeared with my special version of _light_ , but also the way all three of us were glowing.

"Incredible," Alladrial whispered, "putting aside the glowing for a moment, the way things appear is similar to the way that I perceive things at night time, in darkness. Except in darkness, I can only see shades of grey, while here I can discern colours."

"You can see in the dark?" I asked, shocked.

"Oh yes," Alladrial replied, "the _Sari_ , the elves, we can all see at night time and in the darkness. Now, as for the glowing, I may have an idea."

"Yes?" Malkarov asked eagerly, "I have one myself, but am interested to hear if they are similar."

"There is a commonality here," Alladrial continued, "we, all three of us, are alive. It would stand to reason that a _light_ spell cast with a negative material seeming should react to life."

Malkarov clapped his hands gleefully and I noticed Alladrial merely shake his head in resignation. My master stood and bent down to pick up something from behind his chair. He held it carefully, with one hand underneath. I couldn't tell immediately what it was, for it was covered with a piece of cloth that Malkarov gripped at its pinnacle with his other hand. He paused for a moment, ensuring that he had our attention, for a moment longer than he intended I'm sure; for I was distracted briefly by Alladrial shaking his head again and letting out a mirthful sigh. Once he had our full attention once more, with a flourish he pulled off the cloth to reveal a small fern in a pot. Just like us, the fern was glowing.

"Very clever _Allavaer_ ," Alladrial praised him.

Malkarov preened at the praise, smiling at me in satisfaction.

"Do you have any other observations Alladrial?" Malkarov asked.

Alladrial paused for a moment in thought, "I think that it would be a good idea to give Sharein some blank parchment for her to document her seeming with different spells. Elemental seemings have fairly predictable appearances and secondary effects, but positive and negative have a few effects that they may swing between. Life is commonly associated with Positive and death with Negative, but with those come a whole host of other connotations. Health and illness or disease, Reincarnation and undeath, Light and darkness. Wraiths and spectres are believed to harness the death energy of the negative material plane to attack the living and conversely it is well known that healing spells, being positive material spells, cast by priests onto undead will actually cause damage to them."

"So, I'm going to be an evil necromancer whether I want to be or not?" I asked, slightly worried that my magic was forcing me into something. I wanted to think that I'd always do what was right, regardless of what magic I'd cast but what if the magic _changed_ me?

"Necromancy; despite what the church says, as Alladrial said this morning, does not condone Necromancy in any form and actively destroys the undead wherever they reside. Without their doctrine though, if we look at necromancy in it's individual parts, we can see that it's not quite so black and white. The chicken that you animated this morning, for instance. It behaved somewhat as a chicken would, but do you think that it was actually the chicken partially come back to life?" Malkarov said to me, but answered himself before I could even begin to think of the question, "Most wizards would argue that skeletons and zombies, whilst they contain _some_ form of intelligence, are not the people or animals that they were. Their consciousness as it were, has gone back to wherever it came from when they died. Wraiths and spectres, it could be said also contain some form of intelligence, but often not the whole of the person when they were alive. Often a wraith or spectre contains only the negative emotions that were present at death. Vampires are not necessarily evil, but their actions can be. Killing a person by draining all of their blood is obviously an evil action, but if they were able to drink only a little; what harm has been done? Even liches, although the whole concept seems anathema, are only hurting themselves and not necessarily other people, depending upon the method used. Necromancy is not evil, unless it is used to do evil. Do you understand?"

I nodded, because that made sense to me. I wondered if everything followed this pattern, that basically nothing was inherently good or evil, but it was the outcome or results of actions that were? I voiced this aloud.

"Pretty much," Alladrial replied, "for instance you could say that killing a person is an evil act, yes?"

Alladrial actually waited for me to answer and I was about to agree until I thought about it for a moment, "Usually, but what if someone attacked me and I killed them. Or what if it was an accident?"

Alladrial smiled at me, "Exactly! Even actions that are generally considered to be evil can have situations where the action, while it may not necessarily be called a good action is at the very least not evil."

"Furthermore take a bolt spell," Malkarov said, "It's purpose is to cause damage to a living creature, is it any different whether the damage is by fire or by negative energy?"

I nodded again in understanding, it's all magic basically, no matter how it comes out.

"Excellent!" Malkarov exclaimed, "Now for a quick demonstration Alladrial, if you would be so kind, of the _Mage Hand_ spell?"

"Of course," Alladrial replied, "I shall spell-song the _mage hand_ into being, for that is how we _Sari_ practice magic."

It was beautiful. Words could not adequately describe the way he sang. Not that I had much experience, but the words he sang did not sound like they were elvish at all, in much the way our magical phrases weren't the common tongue. It sounded impossible, the way he sang, with melody and counter-melody both coming from him. For some reason, the song reminded me of the sounds of Shard's forest, a peaceful idyllic and relaxing noise. Even as he sang, I could feel the pull of magic inside of me, almost as if I were the one casting the spell.

When the song finished, I felt the 'explosion' of magic and a glowing opaque hand hovered in front of him. It whizzed across the room to pick out a book from a bookshelf and the spectral hand carried it back over to Alladrial.

"What did you think?" Malkarov asked me.

"That was beautiful," I answered honestly, "but why did the song go for so long? Does the spell take as long to cast with us?"

Alladrial answered my question, "Ah! That is the special benefit of our magic. There are different songs for each spell. There is a standard version that is used with other components to cast the spell normally. We can sing a longer version to substitute for other components, sometimes, or we can also sing the longer versions to use less magical energy. There are some very powerful spells that can exhaust a human wizard, but we can sing the longer version without such worries."

"Could you," I asked, "would you sing the spell again?"

"Of course," he said with a smile before cancelling out the existing spell and beginning the song again.

While he sang, I concentrated on the feeling of the magic inside me. Without even closing my eyes, I concentrated on that feeling and pushed it down my arm and out. Simultaneously our magic 'exploded' and there were two floating, glowing hands in front of us.

Both of them were staring at me. I blushed a little and sank back into the chair.

"Sharein, did you sing that in your head as well?" Malkarov asked me, "Did you copy Alladrial's song?"

"No," I replied, "When he sang, I could feel it inside me and I just… let it out?"

"Incredible," whispered Alladrial.

"Do you think you could cast it again?" Malkarov asked me.

I didn't know. Previously I had run through the magical phrase in my head, at least once. But I didn't know if I could sing in my head? I tried to remember the song, but couldn't, it was too difficult. I tried to recall the feeling of the magic when Alladrial was singing and found that I could, it was slightly different to the feeling when I cast _light_ or _manipulate elements_. I grasped hold of that feeling inside and felt the magic respond. This I pushed out of my arm and felt the magic coalesce into a floating hand in front of me.

Malkarov and Alladrial were looking at me expectantly.

"I couldn't remember the song, so I just tried to remember the feeling of the magic inside and used that," I confessed.

"That… shouldn't work," Alladrial said, shocked, "it shouldn't happen that fast. More than that, I could understand that even without saying aloud the magical phrase you were at least repeating it in your head. But this is… impossible."

"I can understand your line of thought Alladrial," said Malkarov, "but that doesn't explain casting a _light_ spell without the material components. Material components are a sacrifice of something and as the spell damage ward will attest, without the material components to be sacrificed it is always the body."

"This is true," Alladrial replied, "and as you said earlier, magic is… usually… predictable, so, this appears to be how magic works for Sharein. Different than anybody elses, but such is there difference between your magic and mine."

Malkarov nodded in agreement and both fell silent for a short while in thought. I remembered Shard's words to me in my dream and drew contentment and surety from her reassurances. So? My magic was different, my seeming was different. That's not immediately a bad thing, who else has a goddess as a… a… what were we exactly?

…

…

"Sharein?" I heard Malkarov call and I looked straight up to him.

"Where were you?" he asked me, and I looked at him in bewilderment, "that was the fifth time I called your name."

Oh. Whoops. "I was just thinking, sorry."

"That's alright," he said placatingly, "I doubt any other apprentice in the whole history of magic has had as many things to think about right at the start of their studies as you have. I was saying that, as you have successfully cast the _mage hands_ spell, I'll give you a quick description on it's school of magic before you will be excused to prepare dinner. Is that okay?"

Alladrial snickered at that and Malkarov shot him a look, I wasn't entirely sure why but I thought that it might have had something to do with Malkarov almost asking me for permission. It was, to my limited experience at least, an odd way for a master to behave.

"Yes, that would be good," I replied.

"Good, good," Malkarov began, "the _mage hands_ spell is of the Summoning School. The summoning school is all to do with, as the name suggests, summoning things. Now, these things could be magical in nature, like the _mage hands_ spell. The hand that you could see is almost magic in physical form. Or it could be elemental in form, such as the _Summon Elemental_ spell, which allows you to summon a living element, it could also be material in form. Those spells that summon elements, will usually be affected by your seeming. For instance, I can only summon wind elementals with the _Summon Elemental_ spell."

He looked at me with a smile and added, "That will be enough of that for now."

I nodded to him in acknowledgement and headed upstairs to start preparing dinner.

I prepared the stuffing first; cutting up and cooking some onion in a pot with some butter. To that I added some crushed butter nuts that I had found in a cupboard. I stirred it until it had turned golden then ripped apart half of the day-old bread into small pieces, adding them as I went. To this I added the chopped up leaves of thyme, sage and parsley. Finally I added a small amount of honey to the stuffing. Once it had cooked enough in the pot, I took the pot off the flame of the fire and turned to carry it over to the kitchen bench when I jumped in surprise. Alladrial was standing right behind me, looking over my shoulder.

"I didn't even hear you!" I exclaimed, "how long have you been there for?"

He looked at me with a laughing smile, "I apologise, sometimes I forget how dull a human's hearing is. I have been here since you added the _kilsmandre_."

That was obviously elvish, but I couldn't guess which thing he was referring to, "Kilsmandre?"

"The… nuts," he clarified.

"Oh, the butter nuts," I told him, "I've never mixed this stuffing with the chicken before, but it should be quite nice."

"I have always been interested in human cooking. Unfortunately Malkarov, though he is quite a talented potion maker, is unfortunately lacking in the art of cooking. He is quite a contradiction," he replied with a smile and a musical laugh.

I smiled a little myself, as I pulled out a large cast iron lidded pot from a cupboard. The chicken, I pulled out from the cold cupboard and proceeded to stuff it's cavity with the sticky, nutty breadcrumbs. Once done, I placed the stuffed chicken into the pot and began making the marinade for the chicken, Alladrial watching closely.

I began to describe everything that I was doing, "First I need to crush the mustard seeds, then add some cold ale. Thankfully, I put the remainder of my bottle into the cold cupboard earlier. It has to be cold, mind, otherwise the mustard won't be hot. If you wanted the mustard to keep, you'll need to add vinegar and I like to add honey to it as well, but we will be using it straight away and don't need to add more honey as there will be a lot of honey in the marinade anyway. Honey, salt, butter and one of these hot leaves should round out it out. I'll then paint it all over the chicken."

Once that was done, I peeled and cut up the pumpkin and potatoes, adding them into the pot. I then put the lid onto the pot and put it onto the rack over the fire, using the poker to push the pot down the back of the rack so that it would heat up but not be over direct flame. I then cut up the flowering cabbage into smaller florets and put them into another pot, which I filled with water ready to put over the flame to boil once the chicken was more cooked.

I turned back to ask Alladrial a question about elvish cooking, but was surprised to find that he had left as quietly as he had come.

As the chicken was going to take a while to cook, as well as the vegetables in the pot, I decided to have a quick bath. Once that was done, I dressed again into my trousers and blouse and made my way up to check on the chicken. It was cooking perfectly, just requiring that I flip it (which I did with the help of some mental tongs), I rolled the vegetables around as well. In half the amount of time again, I would put the flowering cabbage over the flame and spoon some of the marinade over the chicken again for the remainder of the cooking time.

Once that was all done, I served up dinner and pushed the bell rune three times to summon Malkarov and Alladrial to dinner.

Even at their first bite they offered such over the top compliments, "This is delicious Sharein!" and "Shush Alladrial, should you speak too loudly then Missus Rose will surely be here to kidnap my apprentice and take her away from me to cook for the King himself!"

I flushed deeply in embarrassment, "There is no need for such praise, it is a simple dish and not worthy of it."

They would not stop however, even after the second bite Malkarov offered, "The first was pure extacy and I did not think I should ever put anything so delicious in my mouth for the rest of my days, but now I find such a lofty record has been overtaken with the second!"

"I tell you surely," I retorted, "I should have put in two hot leaves and a little less salt."

"... and this would have made such perfection even more… perfector?" Malkarov asked and I noticed Alladrial frown and whisper "perfector" to himself.

"It's not as nice as it should be, at least," I said,

"Then I shall be glad you did not, for at least now there is room for me to taste something even more delicious one day," Malkarov declared, "It should be a very dreary life the rest of my days if there were no hope of something even nicer than this bounty before me."

I took another bite myself, wondering if we were somehow eating different meals.

"It reminds me," Malkarov said, then looked up at Alladrial, "Alladrial, does this not remind you of that meal we had at that Inn?"

"We have eaten at many Inns allavaer, you shall have to narrow it down a little," Alladrial replied with a smile as he continued to eat.

Malkarov was obviously trying to think of the location, he gently rapped on the side of his head in frustration at the long forgotten memory, "Aha! I can't remember the name of the Inn but I'm sure it was in that little town Hillwaeholm in Alcarth District near the Allarthian border!"

Alladrial tapped his chin for a moment, "This same combination of hot and sweet? I believe that I do remember the dish, although I wonder if it's the dish you remember or the reason for the celebration?"

"The reason for the…" Malkarov began, then finished in excitement, "The Gem of Azaroth! That was after we returned the Gem of Azaroth wasn't it?"

"Yes allavaer, we had collected our reward and decided to spend some of it in celebration. But I do recall, the flavours of Sharaein's delicious feast are very reminiscent of that celebratory meal," Alladrial said.

"Yes, yes. But not quite as nice as this!" Malkarov declared and I flushed even more.

We finished up our dinner with only a few more compliments and much more blushing and apologies for even the smallest faults I could find. Dishes were done and I followed Malkarov and Alladrial down the stairs.

"The Mink and Shovel Inn!" Malkarov shouted from the second floor landing.

"Yes allavaer, that was the Inn," Alladrial replied and gave his lover a quick kiss on the cheek.

I had a long and luxurious bath that night and even read Floral Reagents In Topical Potions while I was in there. Later, I told Shard about my day before I turned the lights off and went to sleep.


	28. Chapter 27

AUTHORS NOTES:

Time is going to start speeding up a bit now, with some chapters covering longer periods of time.

I'll summarise some of the things that Sharein has been learning, instead of reading them in 'real time', but if I kept going as I was (with 3+ chapters to a day), I'd never reach the end ;-)

Once again, thank you so much for the reviews! So happy that people are reading and seem to be enjoying it.

Archer1eye - I had considered some of the things you asked, but will leave revelation for much much later :D

Kar-Vermin - Almost sounds like you're angling for a pre-reader job ;-)

SlykSylva - Thanks so much for the reviews, so happy that you're liking it enough to Favourite and Follow :D

 **Chapter 27**

13th-18th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

Alladrial went back to Kaz Sarion the next day after a breakfast of fried cabbage and bacon, which although a simple dish, he seemed to enjoy. He promised to return soon and said that he was both looking forward to cooking for me and teaching me elvish cooking. Malkarov disclosed to me that he was quite happy he didn't have to hide their relationship, as he had been planning to limit Alladrial's visits so as not to arouse suspicion. His confession made me wish that I could tell him about Shard, although a part of me knew that he probably wouldn't be as accepting as he would be if Shard were just a normal person.

My days all fell into quite a routine. I would wake and get dressed after a quick clean, then cook breakfast. I alternated the breakfast between simple and complicated depending upon whether I was cooking later. Simple breakfasts would proceed a day where I cooked dinner and would be something easy like porridge, toasted bread or cheese, breads and cold meats. Complicated breakfast would be fried full breakfast with eggs, bacon or salted pork, sausages. I cooked pancakes once, which Malkarov absolutely loved; I asked him incredulously if he'd never had them before and he admitted that he had not. I was shocked, perhaps it was just a thing that only Mother cooked? When I next went into town, I asked Mari and she was confused at the idea. Malkarov would often arrive just before breakfast was finished and we would eat together. After breakfast we would head downstairs for a theoretical lesson on a particular school of magic. On days that Missus Rose would be providing us with dinner we would continue the theoretical lesson until Missus Rose arrived with lunch, which we would eat together. On the alternate days where I would be cooking dinner, the theoretical lessons would end early and I would walk into town to buy the ingredients that I needed and bring lunch home on the way. After lunch we would spend the afternoon on practical lessons, breaking early if I was cooking dinner.

On the day where Malkarov taught me about divination, he demonstrated the spell without telling me what it would do. He then had me perform it (which I did without using the pinch of salt that had turned to ash in his hand). Imagine my shock when he handed me a scroll written in Elvish that he had earlier showed me, only this time I could read it as if it were written in the Common Tongue! _Comprehend Languages_ it was called, and with it I could understand _any_ language (even though I would not be able to speak it). I had been meaning to ask Malkarov why there were books on the bookshelf in my bedroom that were written in incomprehensible languages, but hadn't remembered to ask him, now it made sense and the rest of the bookshelf was instantly available to me.

Malkarov's instructions on illusions began with him calling out to me from different parts of the tower, only for me to follow the sound of his voice and find him not there! It happened over and over. I'd reached the top of the tower in response to his call and could hear him calling from the roof only to open it and hear him calling to me from downstairs instead. I got a bit cross with him after walking up and down the stairs three or four times and his laughter only made me more so. This is how he demonstrated the _Minor Illusion_ spell, that could be made to produce a voice (anything from a whisper to a shout) or something visual (but small). Illusion magic was all about tricking people's senses; hearing, sight, smell, touch, taste were all able to be tricked without actually changing. There were even spells to make me invisible! The interesting thing about _Minor Illusion_ that was different to other spells was that you had to focus on what type of illusion you wanted before you cast the spell. The spell would only manipulate one sense and couldn't be swapped for another. Using it to make you see a cat that wasn't there might look real; but it wouldn't make a sound, or smell like a cat. Although he only told me about the hearing and sight versions of the spell, I did figure out how to cast it on his bottle of ale that night to make it taste like curdled milk. I considered that suitable revenge for his earlier trick, he did laugh eventually once he realised that it was merely an illusion. He still made me clean up the ale that he had spit out though.

In my Transformation lesson, Malkarov taught me the _Message_ spell and the _Mending_ spell. The _Mending_ spell was by far one of the most useful spells I had learned so far. Ripped your dress? _Mending_. Broke a cup? _Mending_. Anything that was broken, could be repaired by holding the two pieces together and casting the spell. _Message_ was an interesting spell. By casting it, Malkarov could whisper to me (and only me) from almost any distance and only I would hear it. Even if I were surrounded by people, only I would hear the message. I could then whisper back a short message to him, that only he could hear. It would work through small amounts of things (such as a wooden wall, or a small amount of stone) and he didn't even need to be looking at me to cast it. I was slightly confused however, by the nature of the spell. When I asked Malkarov why the _Message_ spell was in the school of transformation, he told me that he wasn't sure. Transformation spells, he explained, are those that generally change the physical properties of something. It may be that the spell alters our ears to hear the message or forges some sort of link between our ears and our mouths. In any case, it was a fairly useful spell as well.

I had to question Malkarov's sanity and competency as a teacher when he threw a knife at me. I dived behind a chair (I was fairly impressed with my reflexes to be honest), and the knife hit a ceramic pot on the shelf behind me. Malkarov then made me use _Mending_ to fix it and informed me that the spell he had just had me cast was the Protection spell _Shield._ I yelled at him that no sane person would ever throw a knife at another person just to demonstrate a point. He offered to cast the spell for me to throw the knife at him… I repeated my assertion that no sane person would ever throw a knife at another person just to demonstrate a point. We argued briefly in a manner that strangely reminded me of arguing with Jacom. Malkarov then dragged me up to his bedroom, where he pulled aside a tapestry that took up a good portion of one wall. Behind that tapestry was a large ring painted onto the wall with shiny white paint. Inside the ring were large symbols, all around. He immediately went and placed his hand on the centre of the ring and the bit in the middle suddenly disappeared! It was replaced by another bedroom, very dissimilar to Malkarov's. It was almost like a window, without the glass. Like Malkarov had somehow made a hole in the wall to a strange room on the other side. It's walls were all light coloured wood, bent into sweeping curves and It's furniture all looked very fine, almost too thin to be functional. The legs on the bedside table (made of the same light coloured wood as the walls), were bent wood that looked extremely delicate, almost not strong enough to support the top part of the table. Smaller pieces branched off from the legs, like small roots of a tree to join up to the bottom edge of the bench, creating strange repeated patterns. I was brought out of my shocked amazement when Malkarov screamed Alladrial's name and shortly the elf appeared within view. He stepped through quickly and worriedly asked Malkarov what was wrong. Malkarov explained the lesson and with a sigh Alladrial agreed with me. With a huff Malkarov told me to go back downstairs and practice the spell a few more times. When Malkarov came back down a short while later, he seemed much better… at least, he didn't throw any more knives at me and seemed to be smiling a lot.

Enchanting was Malkarov's passion, I discovered. To properly understand enchanting, I needed to understand runes he informed me. As such, enchanting lessons would be exclusively theory until I could reach a point where I understood enough to enchant something myself. He taught me some of the more basic runes and their meanings. Each rune had a short common name, a longer magical name and one or a set of inherent meanings. The Ya (Common tongue) rune, for instance looked a bit like a leafless tree. It had a long vertical line, with two lines branching off about a third of the way up angled out to either side. It's magical name was _Yarnethkarsa_ and it's inherent meaning was "Protection". Everything clicked. Everything. _Yarnethkarsa_ was one of the words in the magical phrase for the _Shield_ spell. As soon as I realised this I raised it with Malkarov who smiled widely and congratulated me on my perception. Every spell was made up of a group of runes. Different combinations of runes 'unlocked' different spells. Malkarov then told me that the first bit of enchantment that I would actually do, would be to write my own scroll. Every spell scroll was made up of a selection of runes, the enchantment runes followed by the runes for spell. Both sets of runes are written using their magical names. The phrase to enchant the scroll was dependent upon a few factors (but many spells shared the same enchantment set). To use the scroll, it had to actually be enchanted, but the reading of the scroll enchantment at the start was the thing that unlocked the magic of the scroll, letting it out.

I had to write each rune over and over using pieces of chalk on large flat pieces of slate. Each one had to be perfect. Malkarov watched over me, correcting me whenever I made a line a little bit too long, or not perfectly straight. By the end of that day I had learned five different runes, with another sixty or so to go.

Rituals was the one school that Malkarov didn't want to teach me straight away. Many of the rituals required knowledge of the runes and the creation of a _circle of protection_ or a _circle of intent_ (or both). The _circle of protection_ would protection the ritualist from any negative effects of the ritual and the _circle of protection_ would focus the ritual on one point. Both could be 'inverted' he explained, to either protect or focus everything outside the circle.

Potion brewing was interesting. It seemed to me, at the beginning, that it would be so similar to cooking that I would have no troubles with it. Unfortunately, I had forgotten Alladrial's comment about Malkarov's lack of talent in the kitchen. I spent so much time reading the recipe and checking back on the recipe that I missed the queues for when to do things. Malkarov was constantly pointing out bits of the instructions that I had reached which was making me frustrated. For some reason, I just couldn't grasp the need for… exactness. Malkarov almost started to pull his hair out in frustration! I just couldn't get it.

During my visits into town Missus Rose eventually stopped commenting on my trousers, although it took a few days. I looked forward to visiting Brahdi, despite her brash loudness and occasionally ran into Mari or Beka. When I did speak to Beka, I asked her if she had managed to talk to Father Mattias, to which she disclosed that she had not (but assured me that she would before then next ten-day service). Mari still hadn't any 'special' news for me, but hoped that it would be not too far in coming.

By the end of my first ten-day (although I had completely lost track of the days), I felt a little bit in shock at the amount I had somehow managed to learn. I naively wondered how much more there could possibly be. It seemed never ending and so esoteric compared to the common day things I had learned to that point.

Each night, after dinner was eaten and the dishes done, I would retire to my bedroom for a long soak in the bathtub and a quiet read before sleep.

It was on the last day, before I was to head home to visit my family, that I overheard Malkarov talking from his room as I was about to open my door.

"...finally found something! I found something!" he was shouting.

I vaguely heard a response (I guessed it was Alladrial) and I leaned a little bit closer to his door.

"...no good at potions! She can't brew a potion to save her life!" he exclaimed. Obviously he was talking about me, which only made me more curious and a little upset. Why did he seem so happy about it?

"...you can't cook though…" I managed to hear Alladrial respond and repressed a giggle.

"This isn't about me!" Malkarov almost yelled, "As much as I'd like to take the credit! I told you how quickly she picked up the _light_ spell! There is no way she should have been able to cast _Manipulate Elements_ that quickly and don't forget casting _Mage Hand_ straight away!"

"But you _Illsara_ live so hurriedly. It took me three years to learn the _Light_ spell," I heard Alladrial respond.

"It took Jaymes _three weeks_ to cast his first spell! It took _me_ two weeks! It took her long enough for you to sing _Ievasso Silasier_!" Malkarov shouted, "I tried her on _Comprehend Languages_ , expecting her to take a little longer but she picked that up just as quickly, as well as _Minor Illusion, Mending, Message_ **and** _Shield_! At this rate she'll have finished her apprenticeship by this time next year! _And most of that will be teaching her potions up to an acceptable standard._ "

Suddenly I felt… empty, overwhelmed, lightheaded. I felt like all of this couldn't possibly be real, like I was dreaming. What was wrong with me? I felt somehow apart from myself, like I wasn't even inside my own body. What was happening?


	29. Chapter 28

AUTHORS NOTE:

Slyksylva - Thanks so much for the review, I'm glad you're enjoying it!

TrimusicaDrag00n90 - Thanks for the favourite! I hope you follow so that you don't miss any updates :)

Archer1eye - Any revelations about why Sharein can do what she does are going to be a long time in coming :) Sorry, you'll just have to keep reading (insert evil laugh).

Drouppi - THANK YOU! Thanks for picking that up, I'll have a look at it and maybe edit, you're perfectly right and there should be quite a bit more there. Haha! My note for this chapter specifically says "Sharein shows off magic to family". Not so ominous unfortunately, just a natural response to shock ;-)

 **Chapter 28**

19th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I woke up rubbing my eyes and wondering about the strange dream. Was it a dream? It seemed so real. I couldn't even remember coming to bed. I shifted a little under the blankets and realised with a start that I was still wearing my trousers, that wasn't right. I realised with a start that the door to my room was wide open and tried to remember something. I couldn't come up with anything. A knock on my door made me whip my head around to look down the length of my bed as Malkarov stuck his head into my room.

"You're awake!" He said with concern, "how are you feeling?"

"I feel alright," I replied after running through a mental checklist, "I can't remember how I got to bed though."

"Ah! That would be Alladrial and I," Malkarov explained, "he heard you collapse in the hallway and we carried you to bed. He was very worried about you, that you might have become ill."

" _I_ was worried?" Came Alladrial's voice from behind Malkarov, who jumped a little bit and turned around to admonish the elf about "Sneaking up on people!"

Realising that I was still decent, I got myself out of bed. I wavered a little when I stood up, slightly light headed, but I came good quickly. Malkarov saw me wobble and came rushing towards me. I held my hand out to him though.

"I'm fine, I'm all right," I reassured him, "I'll just use the in-house and then I'll start on breakfast."

"It's well past breakfast time Sharein, in fact we've already eaten and were just coming down to check on you," Malkarov told me, much to my surprise, "get yourself ready with everything you need and then I'll _teleport_ you to near your farm."

"Like the wall in your room?" I asked.

"Similar to, I'll explain once you're up and getting some food into you," he said as he exited my room, closing the door behind him.

I quickly used the in-house and only washed my face. I brushed my hair quickly and tied it back before I headed upstairs. On the table at my place was a plate with a full fried breakfast. I looked at it and then at Malkarov. Alladrial started laughing and Malkarov put on a shocked face as he looked between the two of us.

"You told her?" he asked the elf incredulously.

Alladrial just laughed louder and motioned me to sit down and eat, "Never fear Sharein, I cooked the meal."

Alladrial bent close to Malkarov as I sat and gave him a peck on the cheek, whispering something into his ear. Whatever he said quickly mollified the wizard.

Breakfast was delicious and I devoured it just barely slow enough to not be rude.

While I ate Malkarov explained, "The rune circle in my bedroom is a _Teleportation Circle_ keyed to a similar one to Alladrial's bedroom in Kaz Sarion. It is permanently set because I added enchantments to make it so, otherwise it would have to be re-cast everytime we wanted to use it. But there are also other options, the _Teleport_ spell is a Summoning school spell that allows the caster and one or two others, or one or two others to be sent to any destination that the caster is familiar with. This is why I told you I could send you _close_ to your farm, to the big rock specifically as that is the area I am most familiar with."

The big rock was a large boulder part of the way to town that the path curved around, it marked the edge of the forest before you reached the plains closer to Easthaven. It would cut a goodly amount of time to be sent directly there.

At the end of my meal I thanked Alladrial profusely, for such a delicious breakfast. He responded by practically eating up the compliments, beaming brighter and brighter with each one.

We did the dishes and Alladrial said goodbye as I collected my bag. As we left the kitchen I noticed that Malkarov was behaving a little bit nervously, halfway up to the roof he finally spoke, "Alladrial heard when you collapsed last night, is there anything you want to ask me?"

I stopped, stock still. Why was he asking me that? Was the dream real? I'd mostly discounted it and then refused to think on it, but was it actually real? Everything that he said?

"Is there…" I began, timidly and unsure, "is there something wrong with me?"

"Wrong with you?" he almost shouted, "Wrong with you? You have the potential to be the most famous wizard ever! If anything I feel that there is something wrong with me! Teachers always want their students to surpass them… eventually, but not before their apprenticeship ends! I feel inadequate!"

I was shocked all over again. How could he feel inadequate when he knows so much more than me?

"Let me put this into perspective," Malkarov explained, "when a wizard has finished their apprenticeship they might have been taught the twenty cantrips, the minor spells such as _Light, Manipulate Elements, Message, Mage Hand, Mending, Minor Illusion_. A brand new journeyman wizard will also have learned two or three minor spells. These spells could never be learned until all of the cantrips are learned. _Comprehend Languages_ is one such basic spell. Once a wizard becomes a journeyman, they leave their master and go out into the world. They might join an adventuring party or choose to study at the guild straight away. Further spells must be learned from another wizard and wizard's guard their spells jealously. Some spells are shared with the guild and thus taught to all, but the rest are sold. From one wizard to another, either with gold or service. The _Teleport_ spell cost me about five hundred golden suns."

I gasped in shock. Five. Hundred. Gold. Five hundred? I couldn't even imagine such a sum! Malkarov just chuckled at me.

"The wizard who taught it to me spent two ten-days doing so. It takes time and a wizard's time should be compensated." Malkarov explained, "For you, I have the feeling that as soon as I cast the _Teleport_ spell in front of you, you will be able to repeat it. You will never have to pay to learn a spell, so long as someone will cast it in front of you! Not to mention spell-song! I'll tell you the story one day of the things I had to do to petition the elvish court to allow me to study their magic. I'm jealous Sharein. I'm jealous of your talent and I can't wait to see what you will do with it!"

With that, he walked to the top of the steps (with me following) and lifted the door to the roof. We both climbed out to a bright and sunny day, dark grey clouds stretched across on the Westward horizon, but there on Malkarov's towers roof… It felt almost like Late Spring.

"Now, before I cast the _Teleportation_ spell, I should warn you. There is a slight chance that you could end up not quite where I intend you to," Malkarov warned.

"What do you mean _not quite where I intend you to?_ I asked, suddenly suspicious.

Malkarov thought for a moment, "Well, at the distance I shall be sending you it is slightly possibly that you could end up within a mile or two nearby, rather than exactly _at_ the big rock."

I wasn't entirely sure exactly how far a mile was around the big rock, but that didn't seem far at all, "I'm sure I'll find my way," I replied confidently.

"Oh," Malkarov stuttered then continued with a sudden confidence, "let's continue then."

As he cast the spell, I paid attention to the words he used. I could feel the echo of magic inside of me, but it felt muted somehow. It was as if it were stuck behind a wall, or barrier or some kind. It felt like water lapping against the sides of the bathtub in my room, like there wasn't enough to push it to overflowing so it was sort of trapped in there. I _could_ feel it though, I knew how it felt and was confident that I'd be able to remember it. As soon as he finished the spell, though, he touched me and simultaneously I felt his magic discharge and everything shifted around me. I fell a short distance, about a foot, lost by balance and collapsed into a heap. I let out a groan and lifted my head to look around.

'Curious. Very curious,' I thought, recognising where I was and recognising that it was not, in fact, near the big rock.

In front of me sat Shard's altar. I was in her clearing. I worried for a moment that Malkarov had sent me there deliberately, but soon discounted that. How would he know anything about Shard? Did Shard intervene? I couldn't tell, but no matter the cause the outcome was beneficial. It saved me having to walk out here to talk to her today.

I told her everything.

Everything.

Even the embarrassing things, even the chicken incident. Even seeing Alladrials _penis_. Even seeing what Malkarov was doing to said penis.

I told her about what Malkarov had said to Alladrial yestereve, I told her about my rapid progress and the spells that I had learned. I told her about the runes and enchanting and my absolute failure at brewing a potion. I told her about cooking and going into town and the gossip from the girls.

By the time I finished, my throat hurt a little and I was sure that by looking up I could tell that it was pretty much mid-day. I said goodbye and told her how much I loved her. I then walked back to the farm. The forest was very well lit with the sun out and my journey back to the farm was pleasant despite the weight of the pack on my back. I arrived at the farm at lunch time, by my guess (and the lack of Father and the boys in the field or shed).

I stood at the door, hesitantly.

Do I knock? Do I just go in?

Not even a full ten-day and home no longer felt… like my home. How strange it felt.

I settled on a compromise, knocking and walking in.

"Sharein?" Mother called out, from the kitchen by the sounds of things.

"Yes," I answered, "It's me."

"Oh good, oh good," she said, "I wasn't sure what time to expect you. I'll just plate up some more lunch for you."

"Don't mind that Mother," I replied quickly, "I'm not all that hungry at present. To tell the truth, I actually slept in and have only just eaten breakfast."

I put my pack down near the front door and walked into the kitchen. Everyone except Mother was seated around the table. She quickly rushed over to me and engulfed me in a hug, which I eagerly returned.

"Come sit, come sit," she bustled me over to my chair, "at least have something to drink, you must be parched. It almost feels like Early Summer today."

She put a bottle of ale down in front of me and after I took my first sip I realised that everyone was staring at me. They seemed to be studying me, looking for some sort of difference.

"Do you expect me to have grown horns on my head or something?" I asked jokingly.

Father broke first, then Mother.

"Of course not!" he said unconvincingly, "I'd just forgotten what you looked like."

Mother bopped him on the back of the head for that.

"Eat up your lunch children, " Mother said, which prompted my siblings to break their staring and continue eating. Except for Illian, who continued to stare at me but just cocked her head to one side in thought.

"So Sharein, please, tell us what you've learned," Mother asked, prompting me to regale them all with stories of my lessons. I didn't mention my seeming at all, or describe seemings and I definitely didn't mention the chicken incident. They remained silent for most of my tale, except when I described the _Mending_ spell.

Mother said in response, "I'm sure once you've learned it, that shall be a very useful spell indeed."

I looked at Mother in confusion which in turn made her look at me in confusion. Obviously there was some sort of miscommunication. I looked around briefly for something to demonstrate on and noticed that Jocam's tunic was ripped on one shoulder. I stood up and held up one finger for patience. I Walked around to stand next to Jocam,who twisted his head around to look at me, thus twisting the rip further away, taking his head in both my hands I twisted it back around to face forward. I pointed to the rip on his shoulder, and moved the two pieces together. Then I recalled the feeling of the magic when I cast the _Mending_ spell and very soon the rip in the tunic was no more. The two sides of the rip were joined together seamlessly as if the damage had never happened.

Everyone stared in shock… except Jocam, who was twisting around trying to see what I had done.

Mother asked slowly, "You've learned the _Mending_ spell and are learning the others?"

"Oh no," I replied, "I've learned all of them."

"What else can you show us?" asked Kara, almost jumping up and down in excitement.

I concentrated briefly and cast the Light spell onto the table and the entire table began to emit the strange black light.

"Ooooooh," let out over half of the table.

I told them about Alladrial's visits, painting him as a friend or colleague of Malkarov's, but the mere mention of meeting a real life elf had everyone ignoring everything else I said.

"Are his ears really pointy?" asked Illith.

Jara piped up, "Was he riding a Unicorn?"

"Did you see him shoot a bow?" asked Kara.

I let out a laugh, "Yes, his ears really are pointy but he didn't ride a Unicorn that I saw nor did he shoot a bow. He's a wizard like Malkarov, and he will be visiting occasionally to teach me Elvish etiquette and cooking."

Everyone had finished lunch by now and Mother was collecting the dishes, which reminded me of something I was wanting to ask.

"Mother?" I asked and continued when she acknowledged me, "I was meaning to ask. Does nobody else know about pancakes?"

"What do you mean?" asked Mother in return, confused.

"I made pancakes for Malkarov and he was amazed, he said that he'd never had them before," I explained, "then I asked Mari and she had no idea what I was talking about."

Mother hmmmm'd, "I'm sure that I've cooked them for Missus Meadowbroeke in the past, but perhaps they aren't that common? I don't know, it's not the sort of food you cook for a festival or anything, it might just be a family recipe."

I was just about to rise to help Mother with the dishes when Illith stood up and moved over next to her. I smiled to myself, she really had taken over my position and (as I observed) appeared to be doing quite an admirable job at it. It _did_ leave me feeling slightly out of place though. Back at the tower, Malkarov and I would clean up the table together and here I was feeling like a, guest?

Father and the boys went outside to continue their day's work and once the dishes were done Mother sent my sisters outside to pick herbs and vegetables for dinner. She then called me to follow her into her bedroom, where she pulled out a few pieces of leather that seemed to have been cut into shape.

"I was making these to give to you," Mother said, holding up the pieces of leather, "another pair of trousers. I've heard about you from the other women in town. Despite not actually going into town since the last ten-day. Would you like to help me with them?"

"Use my _Mending_ spell?" I guessed.

"Yes," Mother replied, "I must confess that I'm slightly curious as to how they will look without any seams at all."

Five castings of _Mending_ later I had a brand new pair of trousers. They did look strange indeed, as if they were made wholly from the skin of the bottom half of some two legged animal. Oh.

"They look like I've skinned a person." I said in shock.

"Well, they don't have the hole…" she said, indicating the crotch of the trousers then pursed her lips, "but I do see what you mean. It's not… wrong as such, but there does seem something not quite right about them."

She pursed her lips in thought for a moment before holding up her finger, "I'll cut down the outside of the legs and sew them up, that way they will look like they've been made but without most of the work."

I considered this and nodded, that would make them look slightly less unnatural.

"Sharein," Mother said quietly, "you're happy as Malkarov's apprentice?"

I gave her a reassuring hug.

How could I not be happy?

I was learning magic.


	30. Chapter 29

AUTHORS NOTE:

Archer1Eye: Thanks so much!

Drouppi: 3

Slyksylva: Thank you! More family time this chapter, but might be a while until we see Shard again.

TrimusicaDrag00n90: Thanks so much for the favourite!

 **Chapter 29**

19th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I tried to help Mother with dinner but Illith put on such a grumpy face that I didn't push when Mother told me that it wasn't necessary. It did make me feel a little useless though, so I spent a little bit of time wandering around the farm looking for things to cast _Mending_ upon. One axe handle, a set of leather reigns and one pair of shoes later I returned into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

I answered Mother's and the girl's questions about my tenday and the things I had learned. Illith mostly asked questions about Alladrial and Kara mostly wanted to know about what I could do with my magic. Between Illiith's questions, Kara was able to run through a list of around ten things that I had to tell her I couldn't do.

"Can you turn someone into an animal?"

"No."

"Can you make a lightning bolt?"

"No."

"Can you bring me a dragon?"

"No."

When Illith asked me a question about Alladrial's appearance for the third time I realised that I could do better than just vaguely describe him. I concentrated on his appearance, fixing it firmly in my mind and cast the _Minor Illusion_ spell onto the kitchen table. Up sprung a three foot high Alladrial, standing there in a pose that I must have subconsciously noted him regularly taking. It looked real, as if the miniature Alladrial would at any moment open his mouth and start talking. I had to clear my throat to get them to look at me. I pointed out the miniature image of a stationary Alladrial standing on the surface and Kara actually dropped the bowl she was holding, it hit the floor and smashed into pieces.

"Oh! I'm sorry Mother, I'm sorry," She apologised.

Mother smiled at her, "Not to worry Kara, you got a big surprise. Go have a look, but carefully mind, look out for the shards of the bowl."

I kept my concentration of the illusion up and gestured to mother, "Bring me the shards Mother, I'll repair the bowl."

Mother picked up the shards into one hand and brought them over while Illith and Kara both ooh'd and aah'd over the illusionary Alladrial.

She put them down onto the table in front of me and looked at me in concern, "You're not tired?"

I took a mental stock of myself, a little bit confused and confidently said "No, I'm fine. I don't feel tired at all."

Seven more _Mending_ spells later the bowl was back together good as new. The illusionary Alladrial vanished just as I finished the last one and I handed the bowl back to Mother, whose frown disappeared moments after I looked at her. I wondered what she was frowning at, was she worried or upset about something? I couldn't think what she was concerned about or what might have angered her.

I was distracted from my thoughts by Kara asking me to "Bring the elf back Shar! Bring the elf back!" Illith was nodding along with her and giving me please eyes.

"Now now girls, don't go bothering Sharein, magic isn't a toy and Sharein isn't a performing monkey," Mother admonished them.

They stopped their begging and contritely went back to preparing dinner.

"When Father and the boys get back," I told them, "I'll make another illusion to show them."

"So long as it won't tire you out too much," Mother said with a nod and a smile.

"You haven't heard any news from Missus Meadowbroek in the past tenday have you Mother?" I asked.

"No, not yet," Mother replied, "I dare say that you shall find out even before Missus Meadowbroek does Sharein."

I let out a little laugh, "I know, I'm just surprised it hasn't happened yet. I've been expecting her to knock on Malkarov's door all tenday."

"What hasn't happened yet Shar?" Kara asked and Illith shushed her quietly.

"Mari might have some happy news soon," Mother said to Kara.

"Missus Meadowbroek actually went into town yesterday," Mother told me, "which is how I knew about the gossip surrounding your trousers."

"Missus Rose?" I asked.

Mother nodded with a laugh, "Apparently she had the most to say on the topic, then Missus Redfox and Missus Trander. Although Missus Meadowbroek told me that Missus Imbier actually had a request."

"A request?" I asked, confused. Brahdi's Mother seemed the most… understanding of my new choice of clothes.

Mother let out a loud laugh, "She's hoping I'll lend her a pair to copy out and adjust for Brahdi."

An image of Brahdi sashaying around Easthaven wearing trousers like mine on her wide hips with a long line of drooling unmarried men behind her made me laugh aloud.

Mother and the girls all waited patiently for my laughter to slow so that I could explain what set me off, which made Mother laugh uproariously and the girls to laugh along (although I couldn't be sure that Illith at least knew what she was laughing at.

Mother started to instruct Illith on how to make dinner, telling her to take a taste at one point to see if it needed more salt.

"Wait until it thickens just enough to cover the back of the spoon," she instructed her at one point and I thought back to my potions lesson with Malkarov.

I realised that when I cooked, I followed the way Mother taught me; little signs to look for to see when the right time was to add the new ingredient, working by taste and by smell. Malkarov wanted me to follow a recipe to the letter with no deviation! It was completely different to everything I had ever known about cooking and I approached it in the same manner. It made me realise that I should have been treating potion making just as I'd treated all of the other things I'd been learning; with no prior knowledge.

I must have made some sort of noise unknowingly, as Mother looked over at me.

I explained to her, "I didn't do very well with my first attempt to brew a potion and I just realised that I was trying to do it in the same manner that I cook."

"At least until you've learned to recognise any of the signs yourself," Mother suggested, partially understanding the problem.

"The biggest difficulty I had was that I had to follow written instructions," I told her.

Mother thought for a moment, "Perhaps you could ask to read the instruction prior to making it? That way you could imagine and plan through what you're doing?"

"That's a good idea," I said, "I'll ask Malkarov on the 'morrow."

Mother looked through the window at the sky after they put the dinner over the fire, "Would you mind calling Father and the boys in Sharien?"

"Of course Mother," I said as I stood up and went outside in search of my father and brothers.

They were off in one of the paddocks repairing a fence. Rather than call out to them, I decided to just walk out to let them know. Dinner was going to take a while to cook, so they had time. They didn't notice as I approached and a spark of cheekiness took me over.

I cast _Minor Illusion_ on the other side of them, as far towards the forest as I could make it.

"Father, boys!" Came the shout, "Dinner is on and will be ready in a bit!"

All of them spun around to look towards the forest. I giggled a little. Father raised his hand above his eyes to shield them as he searched for me. Jocam took a few steps. I giggled a bit more, but stayed where I was; about twenty feet away.

I cast _Minor Illusion_ again to whisper right behind Jocam's ear, "I'm right behind you."

He spun, screamed, jumped and backpedaled all at once. That did it for me; I let out a huge guffaw and slapped my hand against my thigh. Jocam flushed red in embarrassment and anger briefly but quickly laughed along with me. I soon had everyone laughing at the trick I had played on them, but only Jocam knew the full extent.

Once we had all recovered, Father thanked me for letting them know about dinner and they all got back to what they were doing. I stayed to watch them for a short while before heading back inside.

Father and the boys followed me inside shortly after, having already washed up and kicked the mud from their boots.

"That smells delicious Mother!" Jocam praised as he walked in, it definitely did; The smell of creamy, cheesy, bacon and flowering cabbage dispelled the outside chill. It was a delicious winter dish.

"Thank Illian and Kara, Jocam, they did all of the hard work," Mother told him and my sisters basked in the praise when Jocam thanked them even more loudly than he did Mother.

Dinner was, in fact, delicious. Afterwards, while we all sat around the table, I answered questions and told my family more about what I had learned. Kara reminded me of my promise to re-perform the illusionary Alladrial. Father and the boys were all impressed by the miniature elf, which prompted more questions. By the time bed-time arrived I was in fact quite a bit tired. Perhaps mostly from all of the talking.

I fell asleep quickly but woke up at some point during the night. I wasn't immediately sure what woke me, but I could hear the cows bawling outside. It was the wrong time of the year to be weaning calves. That was strange, whatever woke me up must have woken them. Then I heard footsteps outside my room. I pulled the covers back and crept out, opening the door as quietly as I could. Father was in the hallway in his nightclothes, Jocam next to him blinking out the sleep from his eyes.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"Not sure," Father said, "it sounds like there's something out there. It could be anything."

We walked into the kitchen and he bent down to light a taper in the coals of the fire.

"Wait," I said quietly, "I can make light."

Father nodded and reached instead for a small but thick branch, ready to be added to the fire. He handed it to me and I cast _Light_ on it. The kitchen lit up with my strange black light.

I handed the stick to Father and we all made our way to the door. Jocam and Father picked up the boar spears from beside the door and Father opened the door. We headed out into the darkness, the light from my stick quickly creating a dome of light that made everything twenty feet in front of us appear as clear as if it were midday. We heard a noise off near the cows, but as soon as we looked that way it stopped. We proceeded forward until we could just make out the shadows of the cows at the edge of my light, they were in the corner of the paddock squished together in distress, pushing up against the wooden fence trying to get through.

"There's one missing," Father whispered.

I bent down slowly and picked up one of the rocks that lined the vegetable garden we were standing next to.

I cast _Light_ onto the rock and handed it to Jocam, "Here, throw this."

Jocam brought back his hand and threw. The black light sailed up into the air to land with thump into the middle of the paddock. Immediately it lit up seven or eight little shaped, that scurried back away from the magical rock. They were small, brown scaled creatures standing only about three feet tall. They resembled lizards, if lizards stood on two feet and wore loincloths. Two long, thin horns grew out from their heads, which appeared to have other spikes growing from the back of them. They were not uniformly brown, like some snakes or lizards they appeared to have a pattern of lighter brown on them. Each pattern appeared slightly different however. They had blood on their muzzles and appeared to have backed away from the large shape of one of our cows. Each of the creatures held a dagger or knife in it's hand.

"Kobolds," Father whispered, "unless they are very hungry, we should be able to scare them away. Be loud and threatening."

Father started screaming, yelling for them to "Go Away!" and "Run! Bugger off!"

Jocam and I joined in and when Father started shaking his spear above his head Jocam did likewise.

The kobolds huddled together, one or two looked about to turn away and run but others grabbed hold of them. I couldn't hear if they were talking, or if they were what they were indeed saying. After a moment though, they seemed to get a sense of confidence and they became resolute. They brandished their knives and hissed back at us, starting to take steps closer and closer. They moved around the body of the cow but joined ranks to form a long line that advanced menacingly.

"Be ready Jocam," Father whispered, "Sharein, when I yell out run to the house and bar the doors."

'No!' I thought, I couldn't do that. I couldn't leave them to the mercies of those little devils that would kill one of our cows and eat it raw!

But… what _could_ I do? If only Malkarov had shown me that _Elemental Bolt_ spell!


	31. Chapter 30

AUTHORS NOTE:

Archer1eye - Perhaps it was Shard's presence in the forest that prevented the kobolds from going out to the farms? Kobold's aren't too magically sensitive and wouldn't likely recognise

Kar-Vermin - Thanks for the favourite! It makes me so happy to know that people are enjoying this :D

Drouppi - Thanks for the suggestion of what she *didn't* do ;-) Kobold raids could happen at any time! (Random encounter time!)

 **Chapter 30**

19th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

In hindsight there were many other things that I could have done that may have scared the kobolds away with less potential ramifications. I could have used _Minor Illusion_ to make the sound of a mob of voices, I could have used _Mage Hand_ to pick up one of the kobolds. I could have cast _Light_ on more stones and thrown them as the kobolds seemed wary of the glowing rock we'd already thrown.

I didn't do any of these things, instead I concentrated my magic inside of me even as Father and Jocam took a step forward with their boar spears lowered towards the kobolds.

Both sides took two more steps towards each other, it was only a matter of moments before either the kobolds or my family would charge, despite the presence of the fence separating the two.

Father and Jocam froze, their boar spears lowering slightly. The kobolds grinned menacingly and glanced at each other, obviously thinking that they had the upper hand.

 _Mooooooooooooooo!_

The cow behind them bawled loudly. The kobolds froze. As one they all turned around, on the spot, to look behind them. Two of the ones on the end jumped out of the way but two in the middle didn't move quick enough. The cow barrelled into them, sending one flying into the air towards us only to collide with the wooden fence with a sickening thump and a fairly loud crack. It fell to the ground, its body bent almost double the wrong way. Father and Jocam actually dropped their spears in surprise when the cow stopped its charge facing them and haltingly turned around. The sight of the eyeless beast (for its eyes must have been the first things the kobolds ate), missing chunks of flesh from its ribs and flank and dragging its entrails behind it must have been too much for them. Considering the chicken incident, I didn't blame them for their reaction. Now that I knew I could control what it was doing, it brought forth no such primal reaction from me. I was its master, I was in charge. The kobolds were in two separate groups so I made the cow charge at the larger of the two, the one with four kobolds. The cow charged, trampling two of the kobolds under it's hooves and turned to continue its charge towards the two of the other group who had begun to run away. The cow chased down those two, hitting them in their backs so that they flew forward a short distance, then trampled over them. Movement to my right, at the edge of the thrown light drew my attention. The final two kobolds were sneaking towards us. They must have been thinking that the cow was far enough away, or that perhaps we were the lesser risk. They were close, enough that they would be leaving the edge of the thrown light and getting into the circle of light that Father held, making their way through the fence at any moment. The cow would never be able to make it back in time. I let go of the _Manipulate Elements_ spell and cast it again. The cow collapsed with a thud and I noticed absently that the kobolds looked back towards the noise in fear, even as they almost reached the fence. As the magical energy from _Manipulate Elements_ was travelling down my arm I realised that I could tell that all of the kobolds that had been hit by the cow were dead, except for the first one that hadn't been thrown into the fence. That one was lying there, still, but still alive. That wasn't the one I wanted though, in any case. The one closest to us, the one between us and the two remaining kobolds was the one I concentrated on. The one with the broken spine. Even as it somehow forced itself to its feet, with half of its body bent backwards, it still managed to keep its balance. I made it turn around so that its feet faced us, but its head faced the kobolds (even though it was upside down). One of the kobolds dropped its dagger in fright. The other one, the one that was bullying its friends at the start, did not. It stepped forward and lunged at the animated kobold, stabbing it in the chest. The knife went in, straight where I supposed its heart probably was, and the kobold stepped back in triumph. Its smug confidence didn't last long however, when I made the animated kobold bring its own dagger up to slash at it. The overconfident kobold collapsed, with its innards spilling out onto the frozen mud. The last kobold, the one that dropped its weapon, was already running away towards the forest. I made the kobold run after it, but It was slower and wouldn't be able to catch up. I was considering alternatives when I felt someone put their hand on my arm. I cancelled the spell and looked up to see Father next to me.

"Let it go Shar, let it go," he said quietly, "it doesn't need to die and it might tell its friends to stay away."

I nodded to him, that made sense. If there were more of them out there, that might stop them from invading. I was about to tell Father about the one playing at being dead when I heard a noise from behind. I looked over quickly to see Jocam throwing up into the garden. I could understand in part. We'd all taken part in the slaughtering, skinning, gutting and butchering of animals around the farm, but the kobolds were almost human. Human-like at least. Honestly, I was a little surprised I wasn't doing likewise. After all, technically I'd just killed them all. Almost all of them.

"Father?" I whispered and pointed, "That one's still alive."

He nodded to me and advanced into the paddock, climbing between the fence's cross-beams. He closed the distance to the kobold I had indicated quietly and carefully with his boar spear pointed at it the whole time. When he got close, he pulled the boar spear back and advanced another two steps before jabbing it into the kobold. Three times he stabbed the beast.

When he returned he asked me "It would be best to pull the bodies out of the paddock now, otherwise these cows won't get a wink of sleep at all. Will those lights last long enough?"

"I'll stay out here while you do that, just in case," I offered, and cast _Light_ on three more rocks that I had Jocam throw out to light up the area better. There were no more kobolds, but he did scare the living daylights out of a fox that he almost hit as it was making its way towards the chicken's hutch.

Father and Jocam together managed to drag the kobold bodies over to the burning heap, a pile of tree roots and stumps that weren't good for the inside fire that Father would eventually burn as a bonfire.

"I'll chop some more wood in the morning before Church and light this up once we return," he told Jocam, "scavengers will likely be attracted tonight, but we don't want to leave the fire unattended lest it sets fire to the farm, so after Church it shall have to be."

He gave Jocam a hug and said "Good work lad, go have a drink of water and get yourself to bed."

He turned to follow Jocam inside before he stopped and half turned back to me, "You did well too, Sharein. Without you we could have been injured or killed."

He said it stiffly, as if he knew that he should be praising me but didn't really want to. Or wanted to praise me but knew that he shouldn't be. He almost made it sound like he would have preferred to have been injured or killed. I knew immediately why… why he didn't want to thank the necromancer who raised zombies to defend his farm. Even if I wasn't really a necromancer and they weren't really zombies, it didn't matter. I knew. I knew that as far as Father was concerned, that's exactly what I was and what I'd done. It was exactly what Alladrial warned me against. Father had always been much more pious than Mother, much more honest in his worship every tenday. I felt somehow lucky that I had a bed to sleep in tonight, maybe he was still half asleep and hadn't really thought about it? Maybe he was thinking 'just one more night and then we'll tell Malkarov not to send her back'? A small voice suggested that Mother would make it all okay. When it came to us girls, Mother always had the final say. But would that change now that I was apprenticed?

What would tomorrow bring?

Dejectedly I followed him into the house. When I entered Father and Jocam had already headed towards bed. Mother was sitting at the table however. She immediately stood and gathered me into a hug.

"Well done Sharein, well done," she whispered to me as she held me, "I was watching through the window. Without you it could have ended very badly."

She let go of me, and gently guided me to sit down at the kitchen table next to her.

"Why is Malkarov teaching you necromancy now, with light spells and illusions? Is that normal?" she asked me.

"He's not teaching me necromancy!" I said, slightly too loudly. Mother glanced over her shoulder at my volume.

"He's not," I said much quieter, "it's a spell called _Manipulate Elements_ that lets you manipulate whatever your seeming is."

Mother nodded to me before I continued to explain, "Every wizard has a seeming that affects how some of their spells are cast. A wizard with a fire seeming will have some spells affecting fire or appearing as fire. My seeming is what's called negative material; death and darkness and such. They weren't really zombies, they were just animated bodies that I could make move only because they were previously alive. It wasn't really necromancy."

"That's what I'll tell Father then," she said, "that will put his mind at ease. I'll tell him now before he tries to go back to sleep, otherwise he may not be able to. Well done Sharein, go to bed and rest up, you must be exhausted."

I let out a yawn, "A little Mother, I dislike waking up in the middle of the night. It will probably take me a while to get back to sleep now."

"You don't feel like you could fall asleep any moment now?" she asked me.

"Oh no," I told her, "with all that excitement, I'll probably have a hundred things running through my mind before I fall asleep."

"Well then," she said as she stood up, "best you get to bed then, the quicker to bed the quicker to sleep."

With that, I made my way to the comfort and warmth of bed, shivering for a while in the cold sheets until I warmed up.

Before I fell asleep, I told Shard everything that had happened and wished her a good night also.

Just before I did actually fall asleep, I may have whispered "I love you," out loud.


	32. Chapter 31

AUTHORS NOTES:

Archer1eye - Yay! I ran through all of the options I could think of and literally wrote "Zombie cow Mooooooo" in my notes :D

Drouppi - Haha! I hope that the start of this chapter will develop Jocam into a better character than his former 'extra' role :D

As always thanks for the reviews!

 **Chapter 31**

20th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I woke up pleasantly refreshed, despite the interrupted sleep. Normally I'd be bleary eyed and yawning every second breath, but for some reason I was feeling alright. I noticed that Illith was already awake, which seemed at the same time understandable and unusual. As Illith took over more of the responsibilities of the 'eldest girl' it made sense that she'd be up at my usual time to help Mother with breakfast. For a girl who liked her sleep ins so much, it was quite a surprise that she was able to change so quickly in only a tenday. I freshened myself after using the outhouse (which reminded me how spoiled I was in Malkarov's tower) and began to make my way into the kitchen to wish Illith and Mother a good morning. I noticed as I came out of the outhouse that Father and Jocam were busy dragging wood to the bonfire and were piling it higher. Jocam saw me and waved at me to come to him, so I hiked my skirt (I thought that I had better wear a dress to Church at the very least) and skipped around the puddles towards him.

"Good Morning," I greeted him.

"I'm sorry," he returned. I stopped, puzzled.

I looked at him in confusion, "Sorry for what?"

He looked deeply ashamed and it hurt me a little to see, what was he ashamed of?

"For not killing the kobolds so that you didn't have to do… that," he forced out.

"For using my magic in a way that meant we weren't likely to be skewered by those things?" I asked.

"For having to use your magic to save us," he said bluntly.

That left me further puzzled, I couldn't understand what he was getting at. I thought that he might have had the same concerns as Father, but this sounded like something else was wrong instead… or as well.

"Jocam," I asked, "are you more concerned about what I did, or that I did it?"

He took a deep breath and confessed, "I'm the boy Sharein, the eldest boy, I'm the one who is meant to protect you. I'm meant to protect you, but you've never needed me to protect you before, ever. Then last night I thought you needed me to protect you, but you didn't, you didn't at all. If anything you protected me, us, you protected Father and me. Father explained to me this morning that what you did last night wasn't what I, we, thought it was. I understand that Shar, sort of. It was still scary though, and that just makes it all worse. Not only did you do it, but you did it in a way that was scary and I shouldn't have been scared."

I understood, or at least I thought that I understood. Mother never really taught us girls to strictly observe and copy her as a role model we nonetheless did. We copied what we saw, for the most part, but Mother was never the model Easthavian woman. She was always slightly different from the other women in town, much more suited to life out on the farm away from everything. Father on the other hand was always instructing my brothers on how to behave and act. These lessons made my brothers, in all honesty, not that much different from all the rest of the boys in town. I couldn't tell him that he was wrong, that it wasn't necessarily his job as a boy to protect girls. Because, for as long as the rest of the girls in town were growing up being taught that their job was to be protected, there would always need to be protectors. I didn't think that I'd be able to convince him that Father's lessons were wrong either. It was obvious that he had been presented now with a situation where the lessons were wrong and he was blaming himself for it.

"Oh Jocam," I said and grabbed him into a hug that he returned hesitantly, "I'm not like other girls. How many other girls have become apprentice wizards? I can't speak for Illith or Kara, it may be that they will grow up different from the other girls in town like me, but you'll meet a girl in town that will need you to protect her."

Jocam seemed mollified by this and whispered a thank you before we parted. He straightened himself out, wiping his sleeve across his eyes.

"Father said that we will travel into town early to speak to Mayor Crownever. The Mayor may call a town meeting after Church," Jocam informed me, "Father says that he can't ever remember hearing of kobolds coming this close to town."

"Thanks Jocam," I told him, "that sounds like a very good idea."

He nodded to me and started backing up, "I'd better finish helping Father here. We'll be in shortly."

I nodded in return and made my way into the house, skipping over the puddles on the way back. It occurred to me on the way, that if Mother forgot (or didn't realise that she was meant to) to teach us that we needed protection from boys, what other lessons didn't she teach us? It made me wonder if that was why I was the way I was? I tried to think of a time when Mother needed Father to protect her from something, but I just couldn't. If we girls came across a snake, we would tell Mother and she would deal with it (often chopping it's head off with a shovel). No matter what lessons she forgot to teach us, I would not trade her for any of the other mothers in Easthaven. I thought about my friends; Beka would grow up to be a model Easthavian woman, despite her desires to become a Sister. Mari was the next closest, slightly different from growing up as a farm girl. Brahdi was in no way shape or form an Easthavian girl, but that was due to wherever her Mother was from. I giggled to myself at the thought of Brahdi suddenly behaving like a proper Easthavian woman.

I wished Mother and Illith a good morning when I got inside, that was returned cheerily (which surprised me from Illith). Kara and Jara both stumbled out from their rooms, rubbing their eyes. I gave them both a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"You'll likely be leaving early with Father and Jocam, Jara," I told my youngest brother, "If you want to see a dead monster first then you might like to have a look at the bonfire."

His eyes went wide and he rushed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Mother cocked her head at me and gave me a look of admonishment.

"Sorry Mother," I apologised, "has he somehow stopped being all about blood and guts and monsters in the past tenday?"

Mother gave a rueful laugh, "Of course he hasn't. I'll never understand how boys all grow up like that."

I knew better than to try to help with breakfast, so I helped Kara get ready instead. Breakfast was ready early and Illith called Father and the boys in.

"Quick breakfast and then we'll be off, Mother," Father said as he came in and sat down, "We'll check on the Meadowbroek's first, in case they got raided as well."

"Should we have gone over there last night?" I asked.

"Why would you go visit last night?" Kara piped up and was shushed by Illith.

Mother put her hand over Illith's briefly, before explaining "A group of kobolds attacked our farm last night and killed one of our cows. Father, Jocam and Sharein killed them and scared them off."

Kara inhaled sharply in surprise and put both hands over her mouth in reaction. I hoped that Jocam wouldn't feel bad at Mother's summary of events.

"We shouldn't have any more trouble from them, it's okay," Mother reassured her.

"Speaking of which," Father said, "we prepared the cow and loaded it onto the cart. Nothing else got to it through the night, so we should be able to get a bit of credit on it still."

Father and the boys wolfed down some breakfast and left quickly. He gave me a quick one armed hug and a kiss on the forehead that washed away any remaining anxiety I was feeling.

Once they were gone, we finished breakfast at a more sedate pace. Illith and Kara helped Mother pack up from breakfast and I went to pack my bag ready for my return to the Wizard's Tower.

We were picked up by Mari and Missus Meadowbroek in their cart.

"Are you alright Sharein?" Mari greeted me as I climbed up into the back of the cart, "I overheard Master Askilain telling Father about a kobold attack last night? You Father said that you played the greater role in their demise."

I noticed Missus Askilain paying close attention to the conversation behind her as Mother lifted Kara up onto the seat next to her.

"Better than ever Mari," I said, "I appreciate your concern greatly. Who would have known that the Wizard Malkarov's lessons would prove themselves worthy so soon?"

"How many were there?" She asked.

"Eight, I think," I said, "although we let one escape to warn it's friends. Their remains are in the bonfire ready to be burned when Father gets home."

I gestured to the bonfire, that could be seen from where we were, Mari put her hand up over her mouth and paled a little (possibly at the sight of what was obviously a scaly arm sticking out from some branches).

Once Mother was seated and we were on our way, I noticed Missus Meadowbroek raise an eyebrow to Mother, who nodded in return and whispered something into her ear over Kara's head.

"Enough about such morbid topics," I said to Mari with a sly smile, "have you a plan to hurry along a certain question that seems to be much delayed?"

The rest of the trip into town was filled with conversation about Mari's problems, with advice offered from all sides. While Mother's and Missus Meadowbroeks advice was sound and extremely useful and Illith did occasionally have some good ideas; Kara's best advice could have been summarised (because it was very convoluted and strange) as "Make Tomas kill something for you and cook it up for him. Boys like killing things and eating things."

Honestly, it felt like pretty sound advice.


	33. Chapter 32

AUTHORS NOTES:

Archer1eye: Sharein hasn't deemed the lessons pointless as such, but she is recognising that there are certain things that she thinks about in a different way to the vast majority in town…. There is generally a consensus of thinking in Easthaven about a great many things and Shar is recognising that this thinking is obviously taught from father to son or mother to daughter... A thinking that Sharein is missing. Obviously it's not so much that she simply forgot to teach Sharein, but we'll learn more of the reasons for it all later. Hahaha…

Thanks for the review!

 **Chapter 32**

20th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

Mari and I were joined by Brahdi out in front of the Church waiting for the service to begin.

"Is it true?" Brahdi asked enthusiastically as soon as she joined us, "Did you really slay an entire tribe of kobolds?"

Everyone nearby turned around to look at us and tried to hide my face in my hands in embarrassment.

"Only seven or eight," Mari whispered and I silently thanked her for her discretion in the face of overwhelming attention.

"Did you summon lightning from the skies or a cloud of fire?" Brahdi continued.

"Neither," I whispered, giving her a little glare.

Thankfully, in an amazingly rare occurrence, Brahdi did actually stop talking. I looked over my shoulder to where she was looking to see Beka walking out of the church.

"Good morning!" she greeted us then continued quietly, "Father is busy organising a meeting for after Church, so I took the opportunity to have a word with Father Mattias."

"How did it go?" Mari asked.

"Well, I hope," she replied, "he was very understanding and has promised to speak to Father on my behalf. There may be a solution to the problem."

"That's wonderful news!" I exclaimed and engulfed her in a hug, which she returned happily.

"It really is," said Mari, who gave her a hug as well and was quickly followed by Brahdi.

Mayor Crownever walked up from the direction of Malkarov's tower and went into the Church, after a short moment Father Mattias came out to call everyone inside.

The whole building echoed with chattering and talking as the story of last night's events was shared around the room (and likely grew more and more outlandish). Father Mattias coughed lightly, but the talking continued.

He coughed louder and most of the room looked up at him, "I can tell that Celestine won't be given her due attention unless something is cleared up first."

The room quieted instantly, "A town meeting shall be held at the Pig and Whistle directly after today's service, those living out on the farms are especially encouraged to attend. There was a kobold raid on the Askilain's farm last night, the family is all okay and the kobolds are dead but we will discuss this and what should be done at the meeting. For the moment, please remember that these beasts came out of the darkness and were a'feared of the light! All hail the light!"

"All hail the light!" Everyone repeated. Almost everyone at least. I for one couldn't bring myself to, all I was thinking what 'What would Father Mattias say if he found out that my negative seeming, my seeming of darkness was what was actually responsible?'

I stopped paying attention to Father Mattias' sermon, not repeating the chant even once. Mother looked at me in concern once it was over, resting a hand onto my leg.

She leant in to me and whispered, "If you decide that you don't want to come here every tenday, I can tell everyone that it's a wizard thing."

I looked at her in shock. She let out a little laugh, that disappeared in the noise around us as everyone was getting ready to leave "You're not a very good actor, it's very obvious."

We walked out of the church and I walked with Mother down to the farmer's common, where I left my bag. Father and Jocam were going to the meeting with Master Meadowbroek and would be heading back home together, while everyone else would go home earlier.

As my siblings got up into the cart, Mother gave me a hug, "It's hard to attend service with what we know, with the rituals that were passed down to me that I've passed down to you. Knowing that the things Father Mattias speaks about aren't necessarily true, that there are more things out there than just his word. I just hope that Illith and Kara will turn out to be better actors than you as we will likely not have such a ready excuse for them."

I understood what acting was, I thought. Over the years we had seen visiting troupes of actors passing through town. It was often a reason to gather everyone in to watch their performance in the city square. I loved that one actor could in the first scene be a wizened old lady and in the next be a convincing young man. I always held them in awe and often wondered about the skills they must have learned in their apprenticeships. For Mother to suggest that anybody could be an actor, that my younger sisters could be actors, was a strange concept to me.

"You wouldn't mind?" I asked, shocked and confused a little at her words.

"Mind?" Mother replied, giving me a little hug, "I'm jealous, my Shar, if I had such a good excuse I wouldn't be coming here every tenday. The people of Easthaven know little of the outside world and the more you learn the less you will be able to reconcile. They don't even know that other people have other deities like Adara or Tarma. I wonder if this may be why Malkarov doesn't attend at all?"

"What about Father?" I asked.

"I'll point out to him that Malkarov doesn't attend and he will assume that it has something to do with that," Mother explained.

I gave her and my siblings a hug and kiss, shouldered my bag and made my way up to Malkarov's tower.

When I reached the tower, I rang the knocker to let him know that I was back. The door did not open. I waited for a few moments in case he was busy and knocked again. Still there was nothing.

'He must be at the council meeting," I thought with consternation. I sat down on the doorstep, intending to wait for his return, but I realised that I needed to use an outhouse. I could go back to the church and use the one near there or…

I considered the problem for a moment, 'How does Malkarov get in when he returns?'

I tried to visualise where latch was on the inside of the door and cast _Mage Hand_. I couldn't see the spectral hand through the door, but I mentally directed it into the picture I held in my mind of what the door looked like on the inside.

*click*, the door opened. I let out a little cheer and made my way inside.

I went straight up to my room to put my pack down and use the in-house then decided to make use of the bath while I waited for Malkarov to return.

"Hot water, how I missed you!" I exclaimed once I had lowered myself into its relaxing embrace.

I read a little bit of _The Illsara_ , an elvish book that gave me an interesting perspective on… myself. Among other things. Once I had cast _Comprehend Languages_ , the title read "Not People". _Illsara_ seemed to be the elvish word for everyone that wasn't an elf. Their summary of orcs, dwarves and halflings all matched what I knew about them, but their descriptions of humans were not at all flattering. I got quite annoyed with the book in fact, quite angry at the author for spreading such hurtful things about humans. I was about to put the book down and refuse to even look at it again when I realised something. If this book was so wrong about humans, what else was it wrong about? In the end it made me question whether the things that I thought I knew about orcs, dwarves and halflings were true. I continued reading, but instead of just taking everything in, I questioned it as I read.

I had well and truly calmed down and was on my way to almost falling asleep when Malkarov called out from the other side of the door "Sharein! Are you home?"

I almost dropped the book into the bath with the surprise, but managed to put it down carefully before I called out "Yes, I'm just in the bath, I'll be out in a moment!"

"No hurry!" he called back, but I did get out and got dressed into my comfortable trousers and tunic.

I brought my book with me when I headed downstairs. Malkarov was already there and he cocked his head immediately to see what I was reading, I held it up so that he could see more easily.

"Ah! What an absolutely terrible book that is!" He pronounced, "Do you agree?"

I sat and got myself comfortable before replying, to give myself a moment to think, "Yes and no."

"How do you mean?" He asked.

"It is extremely terrible in the way the author writes down such prejudiced views," I expanded, "but in the same way it has made me question my own views of other races as to whether or not they are prejudiced also. I doubt it was the author's intention to do so, but I wonder whether it might have been your intention when placing the book there."

Malkarov beamed and clapped loudly, "Sharein, you are a delight!"

I blushed a lot and ducked my head to let my hair fall down over my face.

"Now, you have had a very interesting day away, so I hear," he said, "I've just been at the town council meeting, hearing from your father the events that transpired yestereve. How exactly did you kill the kobolds?"

" _Manipulate Elements,_ " I said hesitantly, ashamedly.

"Well," Malkarov said, drawing out the word, "at least your father had enough sense not to go into specifics with the entire council. For him to tell everyone that his daughter 'called down great magics to kill the kobolds' shows a level of duplicity I didn't think he had in him."

I opened my mouth to object, but Malkarov held up a finger, "Perhaps the wrong words. Your father always struck me as honest to a fault and keeping the truth from the Council was honestly the best thing he could have done. I don't know why he told them that you killed them all though."

"I did," I said, then corrected myself, "well, except for the one that we let run away."

Malkarov looked confused, "What did you cast _Manipulate Elements_ on then?"

"The cow," I answered, "the one that they were eating. Oh, and then one of the dead kobolds that the cow threw into a fence."

Malkarov just stared for a moment and then burst out with laughter.

"A zombie cow?" he giggled out once he had calmed down a little, then burst out into a whole new round of seizure like convulsions of laughter.

I couldn't help but chuckle a little along with him. The stories always mentioned skeletal soldiers or zombie warriors, but never zombie cows.

Once he had calmed down again (it took him three tries), he asked me, "So… how many spells did you cast while you were away?"

I had to think for a bit and tally it in my head, "Uh…. I cast _Mending_ about fifteen times, _Manipulate Elements_ twice, _Minor Illusion_ three times and _Light_ six times."

"Yesterday and today?" he asked with a frown.

"Oh no, that was just yesterday," I replied. "I've only cast _Mage Hand_ and _Comprehend Languages_ today."

"How did you..." He began, "Did you cast _Mage Hand_ to get into the tower?"

"Yes," I replied, "I was going to just sit down and wait for you, but I really needed to use an out-house. So I wondered how you got in when you left and I thought about what I could do with each spell I knew. _Mage Hands_ was really the only one that made sense to me."

"Well now," he replied, smiling and shaking his head, "come on out."

We both stood up and left the tower, Malkarov closing the door behind us.

He gestured to a small hole less than half an inch across in the wall, next to the door and down low, about knee height, "See that hole there?"

"Yes," I answered, wondering at it.

"If I cast _Manipulate Elements_ into the hole, it pushes up the bit the door latches onto and the door will open," he said, casting the spell to prove his words. The door opened up.

"But what is to stop somebody from poking a stick in the hole?" I asked, curious.

"Ah!" He exclaimed, "That's the genius thing about it. The hole goes in, but then turns directly up. Any stick poked it will just hit the wall without tripping the lock."

He drew an 'L' shape on the inside of the door frame to show me.

"So I suppose only a wind or water seeming would be able to open it that way?" I asked.

"Well, yes. I suppose water seeming of _Manipulate Elements_ could open the door. Of course, I never even considered a simple _Mage Hand_ to unlock from the inside." He said with a rueful smile.

"Oh!" he added, "Did you try the _Teleport_ spell yourself?"

"I could feel the magic inside of me, but there was something stopping me from letting it out," I told him.

He nodded, "We can rank spells in the amount of energy they take to cast. The teleport spell takes a lot of energy, normally I'd say that I wasn't surprised that you couldn't cast it."

"Why only normally?" I asked.

He hmmm'd for a moment, "As we have already deduced, you aren't exactly a normal student of magic Sharein. Your average Journeyman wizard would be able to cast seven cantrips before they felt too exhausted to cast another."

"In a row?" I asked, thinking back on all the _Mending_ spells I cast, one after another.

"In a day, Sharein." Malkarov corrected, "The only thing that fixes magically exhaustion is a good night's rest."

"But I…" I said, mentally adding up how many spells I'd cast yesterday.

"You cast enough cantrips yesterday to indicate that you have the same level of power as the average wizard returning to the Guild to sit their mastery," Malkarov stated, "you don't have enough knowledge to sit your mastery and some wizards do take longer than others to return, but simply comparing your… amount of magical power, you have a lot. Maybe one of these days we should sit down and cast a cantrip over and over each to see how many you can cast before you exhaust yourself? It's been a long time since I did it, but from memory I think I reached fifty two."

We returned to our seats and sat in silence for a few moments, until I remembered something I wanted to ask him about.

"Malkarov?" I asked.

He replied, "Yes?"

"Have you ever heard of Adara or Tarma?" I asked.

"The Allarthian Gods?" he replied, "From memory Adara is the God of Thieves and Tarma is the God of Warriors and Soldiers. Did your mother tell you about them?"

This shocked me a little, there weren't many other sources, "How did you know Mother told me about them?"

"Just a guess," he replied, "your Mother is very intelligent and has a surprising and varied breadth of knowledge. Not many natives of Carn even know of the existence of the other Gods, except those who live close to the Allarthian border of course. Do you remember the ritual your mother and I went through when she first brought you to me last tenday?"

I nodded in reply, I couldn't remember the words exactly, but I knew what he was referring to.

"That's an old Allarthian apprenticeship rite. She surprised me greatly when she began it. Why was she telling you about them, Adara and Tarma I mean?" he asked.

"Mother has given me permission not to go to Church service every tenday, If I do not wish to do so. She said that people who know more than what is taught there might find it difficult to sit through and suggested that might be the reason you've never attended," I answered.

"Interesting," Malkarov mused, "partially that is the reason and partially the Church's stance on my… our lifestyle. Father Mattias and I have debated hotly over the issue, I still can't understand how he can be a priest. He… I shouldn't really speak for him, but he has explained it to me time and time again, he overlooks that part of the book because he has always desired to be a parent, to be a father. He felt that he could never marry a woman, but that desire was still there when it was time to take up an apprenticeship. Being a Father in the Church is the next best thing to him, he is Father to the entire town. The biggest concession he makes is that he absolutely refuses to read in his sermons from _that part_ of the book."

I nodded in understanding and decided that I should have to visit with Father Mattias at least, to explain to him that I would no longer be attending.

"I should tell you what was decided at the Council Meeting I suppose," Malkarov said, but before he could say anymore I heard a knock at the front door and the single chime went off through the tower.

"That must be Missus Rose with our lunch!" Malkarov said as he jumped up to answer the door.

Missus Rose was indeed on the other side, bringing us fried and battered fish and fried potato fingers as well as four extremely cold bottles of ale.

"Four?" I whispered, once he had thanked Missus Rose and closed the door.

"Well," he began a bit guiltily, "we have no lessons today that require a clear head and it is starting to warm up a little."

I couldn't help but giggle a little to myself as we headed up the stairs. He almost sounded like me explaining myself to Mother for a moment there.


	34. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

20th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

As we had lunch, Malkarov illuminated me as to the discussion at the council meeting, "Most were in favour of waiting to see if the kobolds will try something again, some advocated that we should attack in retaliation."

"What position do you think should be taken?" I asked, having just finished a mouthful of deliciously crunchy potato.

"Before I answer, I'd like to know what you think should be done?" he asked in return.

"Me?" I asked.

"You are an adult Sharein, you had a right to attend the council meeting, even if most of the audience were men," he stated, "you have the right to voice your opinion in the meeting and I am, both as your master and personally, interested in what you think we should do."

"Well," I started, "I think that we don't exactly know what we are dealing with. Was it just a small band of kobolds that were perhaps kicked out of their tribe? Was it a full tribe expanding, looking to attack the town? They were hungry, perhaps their normal food source is gone and the tribe is starving? I think that we should send people, a small group perhaps, to find out what the situation is. I don't think that we can really make a firm decision on what to do without knowing that. I don't really know enough about kobolds, but perhaps if they are hungry then we could trade food with them? Give them food in exchange for something else of value?"

"That's exactly the idea that I put forward," Malkarov said with a smile, "it's called a scouting mission in the military, although I only have a small amount of experience on that score. I suggested that a small group of us follow any trail made by the kobolds and find out where they came from. We will get as much information as we can and then return."

"You're going on this scouting mission?" I asked.

Malkarov let out a laugh, " _We_ are going to go on this scouting mission. I'm not leaving you behind."

"But…" I stuttered, "I've only just started learning, I'm not a powerful wizard like you!"

"You _are_ a powerful wizard Sharein," Malkarov said to me, "whether you have only just started or not. We will be heading out tomorrow morning, after this delicious lunch we will head up to the roof and I'll test out a theory."

"What theory?" I asked.

"Considering how many cantrips you were able to cast in one day, I have a feeling that I might be able to teach you _Elemental Explosion_ ," Malkarov said, "but we shall work our way up that. I'll teach you all of the spells this afternoon and see at what point you reach your block. Then, we can catch up on the theory over the next couple of tendays."

I don't think my eyes could possibly have gotten any wider. I was going to learn _lots_ of magic? I loved the theory part of magic, but the visit back to the farm showed how useful magic actually was. Really, I just loved learning about magic at all, no matter what part of it that was. I felt like I was visibly vibrating, knowing that very very shortly I'd be learning all of these new spells. _Would_ I be learning how to turn someone into a frog?

I started to eat a little quicker and it must have been very obvious, for Malkarov started chuckling and said "Don't eat so quickly, you'll get an upset stomach. We will get to your lesson soon enough."

"You _said_ that we'd have no lessons today," I accused him.

"No lessons that will require a clear head," he said with a smirk, "although the ale may affect your aim, I don't think it will affect your ability to learn the spells and there won't be any theory that will require a clear head."

I hmmmm'd and washed down my mouthful of fish with a swig of my second bottle.

Once our lunch was finished and dishes washed and packed away, we headed down to use the inhouses and freshen up before heading back upstairs to the roof.

We started off with two elemental spells that were very similar: _Elemental Ray_ and _Elemental Grasp_.

Malkarov first demonstrated _Elemental Ray_ which required a magical phrase and movements. As soon as I heard the phrase said allowed, it resonated inside of me. Much quicker than it had previously. I immediately copied the chant and held my arm out, pushing the magic down it. My arm was pointed up at the sky, much like Malkarov's was. Instead of his whispy white beam of light, mine came out black like my _Light_ spell. Mine started before his had even finished, I was that quick in copying it. The beam shooting out into the sky next to where his was. The _Elemental Ray_ shot up sixty feet away.

"Well done!" Malkarov said with a clap, "Let's see how quickly we can run through the rest of the cantrips?"

 _Elemental Grasp_ made my hand glow with the black light, allowing me to touch things close by and hurt them. While the _Elemental Ray_ was a once off long beam of light, the _Elemental Grasp_ lasted for a set period of time. This allowed me to hit something multiple times through the duration of the spell. We were both slightly curious as to what effect my black light would have on a kobold as Malkarov was loath to test it on him.

Malkarov brought from his pocket three rocks for the next spell.

"Throw one rock off the edge at that tree stump down there," he said, pointing to a tree stump on the ground near the base of the tower, "try to aim for the exact middle."

I threw the rock very poorly indeed. It went *plop* into a puddle ten feet away from the stump.

"Sorry," I apologised, "I'm not very good at throwing rocks."

"All the better," he replied with a wink, "The next spell is _True Strike_. It doesn't guarantee mind, but does greatly increase your chances of hitting the very first thing you try to hit after casting the spell."

Malkarov cast the spell and threw a rock of his own, I held onto the feeling of the spell so that I could watch his throw. It flew unerringly true, striking the middle of the stump leaving an obvious mark. I let my magic go and felt it travel down my arm and explode inside my hand. Tingles of pins and needles spread through my hand and I took hold of a stone and threw it towards the stump. Just like Malkarov's it flew straight and true, striking Malkarov's spot and bouncing off.

"That was incredible!" I exclaimed.

Malkarov laughed, "Isn't it just, it works with anything. If you're using a sword or a staff, crossbow or dart."

"Does it work with _Elemental Ray_ and _Elemental Grasp_?" I asked.

"Well," he said, "I suppose it would, if it were possible to hold a spell and cast another. There is a difference between casting a spell that has an immediate effect and then casting another spell and casting a spell, holding it and casting another one. Spells that are held until the effect occurs take concentration and immediately casting another spell will cancel it."

I frowned at him. That wasn't right. I looked at the remaining stone in my hand. I threw it as high up into the air as I could; and as soon as it left my hand I cast _True Strike._ Following the path of the stone in the air I felt the tingles in my hand once it reached its highest point. I recalled the _Elemental Ray_ spell and forced it down my arm as quickly as I could. I stretched my arm out and felt it move, almost by itself, to align perfectly with a point that felt lower than the stone. The beam of dark light shot out of my hand and by the time it reached the stone's path the stone had already dropped in to be intercepted by it. The light splashed against the stone but didn't seem to have any effect otherwise.

Malkarov was staring at me, eyes wide and mouth open in shock.

"How?" he stammered, "How did you know you could do that?"

"Because I already did," I explained, "yestereve, the girls were pestering me about Alladrial's appearance. They very much want to meet him by the way. I cast _Minor Illusion_ to show them a small picture of him. While I kept the illusion up, I cast _Mending_ about seven or eight times to fix a bowl that had smashed. I didn't know that I couldn't."

Malkarov demonstrated _Dancing Lights_ , for which he required a glow-worm. He pulled the small, dried critter from one of the many pockets in his robe. Four glowing orbs appeared in the sky, moving around like they were torches being held by someone. He made them spin around each other and then fly off into the distance only to coalesce into a man sized mass that 'walked' back down towards us.

 _Acid Splash_ created a small ball of liquid that shot out from my hand. Although I was aiming for the stump, it struck a nearby tree instead and splashed over it. After a few moments the tree collapsed, falling down with a thud.

"I think," Malkarov said, "that we may have to work on your aim. Maybe I should get a dart board made up like they have down at the Pig and Wheelbarrow?"

Malkarov made sure that we stood with our backs to the wind for the last cantrip, _Poison Spray._ It produced a puff of green poisonous gas that was quickly caught by the wind and dissipated.

"Well now," Malkarov said once I had cast that, "That was the last cantrip. If you knew all of the theory of magical practice, not to mention potion making, enchanting and rituals, all I would have left are one or two of the next spells and you'd be right to head off on your journey. It would be four years later and you'd be spending at least two months learning each of the next spells."

He seemed a little sad saying it, "I'm sorry," I apologised.

He smiled a little and laughed, "There's nothing to apologise for Sharein. I was just being nostalgic, I think. I have fond memories of first learning _Magic Missile_ , long evenings in front of the fire with my master Kendara. The celebration he threw me when I finally got it right! Even though I accidentally killed one of his pet rats, he was ecstatic!"

I snorted, in a very unbecoming manner and immediately flushed in embarrassment, "You killed his pet rat?"

"Accidentally!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms out wide, "You must understand, I'd tried the spell almost a hundred times without success and this one time, finally, I wasn't exactly paying attention to where I was aiming. Kendara said that he was just happy that he wasn't teaching me _Elemental Explosion_."

"Would you like to take a quick break, have a short rest, or are you alright to continue straight away?" Malkarov asked.

"I'm alright to continue," I replied, not feeling at all tired.

"Well then, I'll run through all of the next level of spells that I know." Malkarov determined.

 _Elemental Projection_ was first. I had to hold my two hands out flat in front of me with thumbs touching and fingers spread. "Flames" of black light spread out from my hands going out fifteen feet. Again, we would have to wait and see what sort of effect it would have on living creatures.

 _Colour Spray_ sent out a cone of multiple coloured lights from my hands that were dazzling in their brightness. Malkarov explained that this spell would blind creatures that were looking towards me.

 _Detect Magic_ made anything magical appear to glow to me. Malkarov told me that it didn't actually make them glow, that the glow wasn't visible to everyone, it just appeared to me. I noticed that his robes glowed, as did two of the rings he had on his fingers and his shoes. Bits and pieces of the tower glowed, I could see runes carved on some of the stone blocks that I couldn't see normally.

The illusion spell _Disguise Self_ could make me appear different. I could grow or shrink up to one foot, which wasn't enough to make me into Malkarov's doppelganger but I could make myself look like Mother. When Malkarov demonstrated it to appear as Alladrial, he told me to touch his ears to show that they weren't actually pointed, no matter how much they appeared to be.

"You aren't actually the other form, you just appear to be according to sight," he explained.

Next was, according to Malkarov, "The staple combat spell."

 _Magic Missile_ caused a number of glowing darts to appear in front of me, shooting off as fast as lightning into my target (which was the poor stump down at the base of the tower). I created three darts to start with, but discovered with repetition (and Malkarov's challenge) that I could actually create as many six darts simultaneously. Malkarov seemed very impressed with this and exclaimed that it might be possible for me to learn spells of an even higher level than he thought. He seemed very excited by that prospect.

Malkarov's demonstration of the second to last of these spells gave me such a shock and made me so angry at him, that I ended up berating him so soundly when I caught up with him (even using words that I had only ever heard Father or Mother use when they hurt themselves) that he almost looked like a whipped dog when I was finished. He apologised to me so very profusely that I ended up apologising for the language that I used. The _Feather Fall_ spell, which Malkarov cast (using a small feather) before he climbed up onto the battlement of the tower and stepped backwards off the edge, allowed him to float gently down to the ground at the base of the tower. I didn't realise this of course, because he didn't explain to me what he was doing or what the spell would do. When I saw him disappear from view I rushed to the edge and almost fell off when I looked over to see him still floating down with a huge smile on his face. He pointed at me and laughed when he saw me and that made me so angry that I immediately jumped off to follow him. I was already part of the way down when I realised that I should probably have cast the spell first before I jumped. In a panic I called up the feeling that echoed inside me when he cast the spell and forced it out. It didn't want to be forced out of my hands and I thought for a moment that something was wrong, that I wouldn't be able to cast the spell. I was halfway down and falling quite rapidly when I just _pushed_ , without direction. The magic spread out through my entire body, evenly exploding all over my skin. I was about ten feet off the ground, Malkarov only having just touched down onto the ground when I felt something 'grab' me. One moment I was falling and about to go _splat_ onto the ground, instantly my speed slowed and I floated gently down the remaining distance.

The final spell of that level required that Malkarov and I find something or someone to test it on. It seemed like he was thinking of a suggestion, perhaps casting it on each other, but after my reaction to _Feather Fall_ might have decided against it. Instead, we found some cows. Of course, once again Malkarov cast the spell without telling me what it would do. And what it appeared to do? Nothing.

"What did it do?" I asked him, "I felt you cast the spell, but I don't see any difference."

"Watch them," he prompted, "what are they doing?"

"Well, they aren't eating anymore," I said after a moment's observation, "what a fantastic spell? It makes them feel full?"

"What?" he said, confused, "they're deep asleep! They can't be woken up unless they are hurt or injured, or the spell runs out."

"No they aren't," I stated.

"Yes they are. Who's the wizard here?" He argued.

"You might be a wizard, but I grew up on a farm," I retorted, "cows might nap on their feet, but they always lie down to sleep deeply."

"Really?" he said, looking at me. Suddenly there was a loud _thump_ and the cow let out a surprised _Moooooo!_

We both turned to look at the cows, one of which was climbing to its feet in surprise. The other still had its eyes closed but as we watched, it too collapsed, falling down onto its side and its eyes opening wide in surprise as it too let out a loud _moooooo_.

"Huh," Malkarov let out, "how about that? We were both right."


	35. Chapter 34

AUTHORS NOTES:

Archer1eye: But.. but… but.. They're cows! It wouldn't have been anywhere near as funny with sheep! Ahhhh! We'll just have to wait and see how Sharein's seeming affects her elemental spells! (They won't all be insta kills. Lower level spells will do less damage, higher level spells will do more damage. Against kobolds, goblins and some orcs they might be instakilly, but against higher level monsters your basic _Elemental Bolt_ spell will barely faze it.) As to Malkarov, I'm trying to show you what sort of person he is ;-) I'm glad you picked up on that, Sharein is very logical and can think through problems, but she is young and she is FULL of emotions! It might be a little bit, but comprehend languages is such a useful spell that it will be used quite a bit.

Drouppi: At the moment, Sharein has only so far seen that her magical abilities are boundless, endless and so much more powerful than anything else she has ever experienced (sans Shard, possibly). Combine this with: as a teenager her inability to understand consequence AND her overriding anger and shock. She definitely had a moment of not thinking, that she kind of regretted halfway down. Then again, she didn't learn lesson from it, so it's entirely possible that this behaviour will be repeated. Hmmmm… I tried to highlight, and I might go back and update to spell it out more clearly… at 13 she IS an adult. She is included in conversations with other adults, she can vote at council meetings, she could even marry. The only reason people might think it a bit strange that she started her apprenticeship early is because of tradition, not because she is only barely an adult. In fact….

Slyksylva: Yes, Shard will be back at some point :) Not this chapter though.

 **Chapter 34**

20th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

As we walked back to the tower, Malkarov demonstrated and had me cast _Invisibility_ (which made us completely invisible!) and _See Invisibility_ (which allowed us to see invisible things). Once at the base of the tower we both had a turn at the _Knock_ spell, which unlocked the front door. But we did not use the front door to go into the tower, instead Malkarov locked it again.

I looked at him in confusion, "How are we going to get in then?"

"We climb!" He announced loudly with a grand gesture.

He cast the spell and then climbed straight up the side of the tower as easily as a bug climbing a tree.

" _Spider Climb!"_ he announced when he was nearing the top.

I cast the spell myself, feeling the magic come out of my hands and feet, coating over my palms. Tentatively I touched the tower and discovered that my hand was sticking to the stone but only when I put pressure down. When I lifted my hand back, it came apart as normal. I tried to copy Malkarov's movements and discovered that it was much easier than I thought it would be, as if I were much stronger than I was or weighed much less than I did. Within short order I was standing with him at the top of the tower with a wide grin on my face.

Another wave of exhilaration surged through me, it was electric. I felt like I could do anything!

"What other spells are you going to teach me?" I asked Malkarov excitedly, almost vibrating with barely contained energy.

In rapid order he taught me _Mirror Image, Web and Elemental Sphere._ _Mirror Image_ was an illusion spell that created copies of myself that would move around and confuse enemies. _Web_ caused thick sticky strands to appear between two surfaces, we cast it between two trees down below, these strands would catch things between them and prevent them from moving. _Elemental Sphere_ created a large black ball that I could direct in a fairly rapid path. Malkarov's created a great ball of wind that would throw anything it hit away almost as fast as a stone loosed from a sling. When his ball went down to the ground it flicked up such a storm of dust around it that it was hard to see the ground at all.

"My _Elemental Sphere_ can be very dangerous to enemies that are near a cliff or an edge, or if there are stones scattered on the ground. A water seeming _Elemental Sphere_ can be especially dangerous to enemies that breath," Malkarov explained, "while my _Elemental Sphere_ pushes everything outwards the water seeming pulls everything inwards. It's big enough to surround a person, so a water seeming _Elemental Sphere_ that hits a person will suck them in and can potentially drown there, leaving a wet and very dead corpse in its wake."

"The most interesting one I ever saw was an earth seeming _Elemental Sphere_ in a castle siege. A giant ball of rock that could be directed directly towards a wall, or directly up at the battlements?" Malkarov told me, "They were used with such devastation that the castle wall was reduced to mostly rubble."

"Where was this?" I asked.

"A pair of orc war witches at the siege of Darkenwoode castle in Darkholm. Those _Elemental Spheres_ killed a great many of our soldiers before we could discern where they were casting it from. Once we did, we bombarded the area with our own spells and killed the pair of them," he replied a little sadly.

He brightened suddenly. "Shall we try _Elemental Explosion_?" He asked and I eagerly agreed.

Unfortunately, even though I could feel the resonating pulse of magic when he cast the spell, I could not force it out. No matter what I did, the block was there. I couldn't hide my disappointment. Malkarov too, looked a bit disappointed.

"It looks like we've found your limit after all," he said, "you're not tired at all?"

"No, I'm not tired," I admitted, still feeling on top of the world.

"Then why don't we stay up here until dinner practicing your spells? The more you cast and the more you stretch out your magic the quicker it will increase and you'll be ready to cast the spells of the next level. I'll be interested to see, once your body and magic are ready, whether you will be able to cast _Elemental Explosion_ without another demonstration. But that will need to wait until that time," Malkarov said to me, "for now, we will work on just your elemental spells. _Elemental Sphere, Elemental Grasp, Elemental Bolt, Elemental Ray_ and _Elemental Projection_. I'll name a situation and you cast the appropriate spell as quickly as you can."

Malkarov called out some different scenarios as I stood looking out over the tower's battlements, "The stump down there is a lone kobold!", "There are ten kobolds in front of you ten feet away, spread out!", "There's a lone kobold right in front of you!". He switched it up and included other monsters like orcs, ogres, trolls. After about twenty such scenarios we stopped so that he could explain to me the advantages and disadvantages of the elemental spells.

"If an enemy is close enough for hand to hand combat then you really have two choices: _Elemental Grasp_ and _Elemental Touch._ _Elemental Grasp_ is good against unarmoured foes as it only works against skin, it stays active for a long while and can be used in multiple hits but it doesn't do very much damage." Malkarov explained, " _Elemental Touch_ has the potential to do more damage, and works through any armour your enemy might be wearing but only works once with each cast."

Malkarov continued, "For a single enemy at a distance you have two options: _Elemental Bolt_ and _Elemental Ray_. The distance your _Elemental Ray_ reaches is about half as your _Elemental Bolt_ , but for most apprentice wizards it would usually be much shorter. _Elemental Ray_ does the least damage of the two, but like _Elemental Grasp_ needs to hit flesh. _Elemental Bolt_ doesn't do much damage, but has a much longer range. It does work well against armoured foes though."

"Like the other scenarios you have two options when it comes to multiple opponents," Malkarov went on, "If they are all within fifteen feet and close together, your best best will be _Elemental Projection_ , it will do more damage than _Elemental Sphere_ but only within this limited area. For enemies that are spread out; _Elemental Sphere_ is the way to go, but remember that you need to actively concentrate to move it and it only moves as fast as a person jogging. Monsters can run away from it."

We ran through scenarios again and I found during the course of these practices that while I couldn't concentrate enough to move the _Elemental Sphere_ and cast another spell, I could keep it active and sitting in place while I also cast another spell. This prompted an experiment to see how many _Elemental Spheres_ I could keep active at one time. I kept one hovering out in front of me and let go of my active control of its movement to cast a second. When I cast the second and the first one remained in place a flash of excitement rippled through me, a confirmation that it was possible. I had cast two spells simultaneously before, but not two of the same spell. Putting a third black glowing ball next to the other two was just as exciting. When the fourth appeared I truly wondered how many I'd be able to do. As I cast the fifth one I could feel a sort of headache start to form in the back of my skull. I frowned a little and remained determined to continue. The feeling of excitement grew with the sixth and seventh, along with the pain. When I set up an eighth some black spots appeared in my vision but I blinked them away. The line of large glowing black spheres in front of us was really quite impressive. After I finished the ninth I felt a little light headed, I shifted my feet and managed not to waver too much.

I couldn't remember finishing the tenth.


	36. Chapter 35

AUTHORS NOTES:

Thank you so much for the reviews everyone! I'm loving seeing everyone reading my story and would love it even more if you could leave me a quick review, letting me know what you think of it! Why not do it now? Just swipe to the bottom and post the review, then come back up here and read this chapter?

I know the last one was quite small, but the ending was the perfect spot, this one should be longer.

Veor Hrdenda: Thanks for the reply! I'm loving questions! Haha! I started playing Dungeons and Dragons Basic and Advanced Dungeons and Dragons (1st edition). Then moved onto 2nd Edition. Finally I played mostly 3rd Edition, homebrew. I read a 4th edition rule book when that came out and threw it down in disgust (this is a lie, I gently put it back on the shelf.. Then stomped away in disgust) and haven't even bothered looking at 5th ;-) But I digress… Yes! For simplicity sake, most of the spells based upon elements are now elemental spells and are directly affected by the caster's seeming. You're right that fireball is now _Elemental Explosion_ with a fire mage's spell resulting in the traditional Fireball (plus continuing fire damage), for Sharein it will be an explosion of 'negative energy'... It's basically a homebrew of D&D magic and how it all works… but you're not wrong suggesting that it's "I just did magic in the story how I want coz I can" ;-)

Archer1eye: Hahaha…. We'll see if it's a scolding or not ;-) I must admit I was a bit undecided on how this would work out and it wasn't until I was halfway through a paragraph that I'd realised I'd already decided.

Slyksylva: It might be a while though ;-) I'll get there as quickly as I can though :)

Yorukakusaku: Thank you so much for the favourite and follow! It means so much =D Arigatoo Gozaimasu!

 **Chapter 35**

30th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

"I'm so sorry Sharein," were the words that greeted me even before I had properly opened my eyes.

Attempting to open my eyes proved to be a bad idea, the javelins of light that pierced through those gaps in my defences went straight into my brain. Pain exploded in the back of my head.

I moaned and clutched my head in my hands. Even the sound of my moan and the movement of lifting my arms seemed to make the pain increase. I rolled a little and realised that I was lying somewhere soft, Malkarov must have carried me down to my bed.

"It hurts," I managed to eek out, sounding pitiful and wanting nothing more than Mother to appear with a wet washcloth to put on my forehead.

"I'll be back in a moment," Malkarov said and I heard him run out of, whichever room I was in, wherever I was? I had absolutely no desire to find that out at that time, content to keep my eyes closed lest the drum beating orcs in my head decided to beat louder.

I may have fallen asleep again, because the next time I opened my eyes there was not such a painful light trying to sear a hole through my head. I let out another pitiful moan and Malkarov was gently lifting my head and had put something to my lips.

"Drink Sharein," he whispered, "it will make you feel better."

I opened my lips and allowed a slightly sticky liquid to pour into my mouth. I swallowed it down in three gulps, and felt a warmth spread through my entire body. As the warmth spread up to my head it wiped away the pain entirely, leaving me feeling almost as good as new. I opened my eyes to see a very concerned Malkarov hovering over me.

The ceiling beyond him did not resemble the ceiling of my bedroom and I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"Where am I?" I croaked out.

"You're in the temple, in Sister Tera's rooms," he explained, "she will be along shortly."

I began to lift myself up onto my elbows and it felt a little strange. I lifted the blanket a little and looked down, confirming that I was naked. I looked at Malkarov.

"Sister Tera," he said, putting his hands up and stepping away, "you've been asleep for an entire tenday. She took your clothes off as there was no way for you to… ah... control your body."

"A tenday?" I asked, incredulously, at the same time glad that Malkarov hadn't undressed me but also embarrassed that Sister Tera had and what she'd had to do and… clean. I put that out of my mind as much as I could.

Malkarov nodded, "We held off on the plan to investigate the kobolds for a day so that I could keep an eye on you but did it the day after instead. Do you remember feeling dizzy, headaches, faint?"

I pouted a little at hearing that I'd missed out on the investigation and was eager to ask Malkarov questions about it, "Ahm… I remember the headaches first then the black spots and finally the dizziness."

Malkarov slapped a hand over his face and let out a groan, "didn't I warn you about magical exhaustion?"

"No," he said with finality, "it's my fault and I'm very sorry for it. I should have asked you all the way along how you were feeling, to look for the signs. The headaches are a warning, but as you can just as easily get a headache for another reason they are often discounted. But the dizziness is your final warning, the warning not to use any more magic until you've rested. You can't be healed from magical exhaustion, you must sleep it off. Sometimes for a day or two and sometimes for a tenday. The potion of healing I gave you just removes the headache that you are left with after your body has healed."

That all made sense; in the excitement I had just ignored the things my body was telling me or at least I didn't understand what my body was trying to tell me. I should have definitely paid more attention or told Malkarov.

"You're awake!" came the greeting from Sister Tera as she walked into the room, "How are you feeling?"

"I feel okay, much better now," I replied, failing to look her in the eyes, "as good as new."

"Excellent," she said, "you're my first case of magical exhaustion and I was hard pressed to remember what I was taught back at the college."

She looked disapprovingly at Malkarov, "wizards in the Guild tend to look after themselves and don't let us near them. For now, you can go busy yourself and we'll get Sharein dressed and see if she can be let out of my care."

Malkarov hastily let himself out as Sister Tera fetched my clothes from a shelf near my pallet, "I washed your clothes after they were first soiled. I wish Malkarov had told me sooner that the condition could last many days.'

She must have noticed my blush, "oh don't worry Sharein, you've nothing I haven't seen a hundred times or more, let alone when I look in a mirror. One of the first things we are taught when training to be a Sister or a Brother is to separate our healer side and our personal side. Do you remember when Kara and Jara were born?"

I nodded, I could vaguely remember it all. The whole process was very scary and confusing.

"Do you remember your Mother soiling herself?" She asked.

I thought about it, but couldn't really remember. I shook my head, it wasn't something I was really paying attention to; not when I started off holding mother's hand and giving her sips of water or later when I watched in rapt fascination at Kara's head stretching and coming out or when I held her as Mother birthed Jara.

Sister Tera smiled as she helped me stand and began to help me get dressed, "That's okay. Most women when they give birth do, in fact it's fairly rare not to. Babies often come out with a bit of their mother's feces and urine on them, not to mention the blood and other fluids. If I didn't have my healer side, it might be hard to look a new mother in the face afterwards at a festival or such. What happens when I do my duty as a healer, stays there and I forget about it all of the rest of the time."

"What about…" I began, but stopped and only continued when Sister Tera prompted me to continue, "what about if they're really attractive?"

"It's sometimes hard, I will confess," she replied, "but as a healer, I'm not attracted to anyone. I leave that for the other me the rest of the time."

"There!" she said. "You're all dressed and standing by yourself."

I blinked in confusion, with the discussion and my thoughts I hadn't even noticed! My trousers, that were fitting perfectly, were baggy and loose. I felt my arms and down my sides; my arms felt a bit skinnier and I could easily feel all of my ribs. Oh dear, I must look like skin and bones!

"You could do with some fresh air and you should definitely have something to eat," she said to me, "you are alright to go. But if, after you've eaten you start feeling dizzy or lightheaded at all make sure to sit or lie down and send Malkarov to come and get me."

I nodded to her in understanding and made my way outside, before I opened the door my stomach let out a huge growl of hunger. I looked down in shock, then looked at Sister Tera and we both started giggling.

I found Malkarov outside of the Church.

"You've been released?" he said, as if I were being kept prisoner.

I laughed, "Yes, I've served my time. Sister Tera said that I was alright, but that I need to have something to eat."

"You haven't eaten in a full tenday," Malkarov replied, "how about we walk down to the Pig and Wheelbarrow?"

I agreed enthusiastically and we walked at a sedate pace down to the Inn. Missus Rose greeted us enthusiastically and with a note of surprise.

"It's so good to see you up and about my dear girl," she said, giving me a hug, "your parents will be so relieved when they hear. Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I am feeling much better thank you," I replied, "although I am exceedingly hungry."

"Of course," she said as she bustled off towards the kitchen, "I'll fetch you both something to eat right away! Have a seat, have a seat!"

We took a seat near the fireplace and I realised once I had lowered myself down that I actually felt very tired. I wondered whether I would have enough energy left to stand back up again, I was that exhausted. Malkarov's eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"I'm alright, just exhausted," I said, "I suppose that I haven't eaten for a tenday, I'm bound to feel this way."

"You'll feel much better tomorrow," Malkarov said, "I can remember when I exhausted myself, I was tired for the first day but much improved on the next."

"You exhausted yourself?" I asked.

He laughed, "every wizard does during their apprenticeship. It's a good warning for later in life. Exhaustion with a lower level spell is much easier than exhaustion from a more advanced spell."

That made sense. Obviously the more advanced the spell, the more power they use and the more power you expend when you don't have any left, the nastier the exhaustion.

"What happened with the kobolds?" I asked after a moment of thought.

"Ah!" Malkarov said and visibly prepared himself to tell the story, "We went out to your parent's farm and followed the direction they came from. It was a bit difficult to find their tracks, but we did eventually. They went into the forest and up to a small hill there, covered in grass and sticking up almost as high as the trees around it. On the other side of the hill, there is just bare rock and no grass. We discovered that the tracks led to a cave there. We hid and watched until night time when we saw three or four kobolds come out of the cave and disappear into the forest in search of food. We considered the small number that went out scavenging and came to the conclusion that the group must be very small and thus not such a great concern of ours. Some advocated doing something about them there and then, but it was decided in the end, to return to town and inform the town council. We were on our way back, when a kobold came out of the forest ahead of us and we were both a little surprised. I managed to cast my _Tongues_ spell, which allows me to speak and understand almost any language and was able to communicate with the kobold. It told me that they used to go to an altar in the forest to pray, every night to their cave god, for food. Every night they would come back with enough food to feed the whole tribe. Recently though, their tribe has grown when another tribe joined them. They prayed to their cave god, but he had stopped listening to them and did not provide them with enough food to feed all of them. Some argued that they kick out the other tribe, some argued to wait and make a sacrifice to the cave god. A group of kobolds ignored everyone else and decided to raid your parent's farm and bring back a cow to feed them all. When only one returned, the rest of the kobolds denounced those that had gone out and kicked out the one that had returned. It appears that they have no interest in venturing forth into Easthaven, or even near Easthaven again."

They prayed at an altar in the forest? Did they pray to Shard and was she giving them food? With Shard gone to petition Tenebrae, was it _my_ fault that the kobolds were now starving?

"Come now Sharein," Malkarov asked, sounding concerned, "you don't look very pleased by this news, is there something the matter with it?"

"No, no. I am exceedingly happy with the news, I'm…" I said, before I was hugged rather violently from the side without any warning except a simultaneous announcement of "Sharein!"


	37. Chapter 36

AUTHORS NOTES:

With the current climate, I hope I'm providing some entertainment to fill in your increasingly abundant spare time. 3 Stay safe everyone!  
My new content speed is not going to increase in the foreseeable future hopefully, as my job is classified as an "essential service", I'm a train driver, and thus am forced out into the scary invisible threat day after day. I still write in my tucker breaks and occasionally before and after work. Once again, stay safe everyone and STAY INSIDE unless absolutely necessary!  
Side note: Has anyone picked up that I've been reading Pride and Prejudice lately?

Archer1Eye: Something tells me this won't be the last we'll be seeing of these kobolds…. Mwahahahahaha.

Slyksylva: Awww shucks. *blush*. I find that when I don't stress so much over chapter length I can push them out fairly quickly, it's often when I try to attain what (to me) seems like a decent chapter size ~8k words that things get bogged down. With smaller chapters, when I reach a point that seems good to end it, I just will…. Of course, these short chapters are being edited and combined for my fictionpress and AO3 accounts, and there is quite a bit of a backlog there at the moment. Whoops! I just went over to my other document to see, and found out that the last of (these) chapters that I posted over there was chapter 29! Damn. The reviews from you guys though just keep me working on new stuff :) 3

Drouppi: Sister Tera did not… exactly talk to Sharein about their sexuality, they both knew what they were saying but neither said anything directly :) Kobold intelligence isn't really all that high, they are very primitive. Of course despite the diplomacy, there will likely be a lot of fall-out from the encounters.

 **Chapter 36**

30th Day of Late Winter 768 n.c

I returned the hug in shock, but rapidly realised that it was Mari who had ambushed me.

She released me and took a step back, "Oh Sharein, you won't believe how happy I am to see you up and about! Not just for your health, which is obviously the most important thing, but second only to that is that I have some important news that I've been holding off until you arose! For I knew, without a doubt that you would, no matter what anybody else said. I told them 'No no, Sharein just can't possibly die, not from this, she'll be up and about in no time, just you wait and see!'"

She was definitely excited, that was without a doubt. The way she spoke so quickly with nary a pause for breath meant that it took me a few moments to really sort through all that she said.

"News?" I asked, somehow forgetting everything for a brief moment.

"I'm to be married!" she exclaimed so loudly that everybody in the Inn looked up and judging by their reactions she really had held off telling everyone. She was literally jumping up and down in excitement and despite my lack of energy I forced myself to my feet in order to hug and congratulate her.

"I'm so happy for you!" I said straight into her ear as I held her close and was almost forced to jump along with her.

When we separated, Mari was engulfed by Missus Rose who had arrived in the meantime with our meals. I sat back down rather heavily and took the opportunity to take a sip of ale while Mari was distracted. It did the job of washing away a tendays worth of morning mouth quite admirably.

"Mari," I said, once Missus Rose had departed (with a promise to return with a mug of fine Alderri wine), "what did you mean by 'holding off until I arose'?"

"Well," Mari replied with a gesture towards Malkarov, "Tomas proposed, as much as we can gather, at about the same time you became afflicted. The Wizard's tower was of course, the first place I rushed to but I could not find you. As I left, I crossed paths with the Wizard Malkarov, who informed me of your plight. I came to visit you briefly, at the Church, then returned back to my family. With you in such a state, I could not very well announce publicly until you were hale again, which of course Tomas agreed to. Mind, I could not very well keep it a secret from my Mother, so _of course_ she knows but other than her and Tomas this was the first time such happy news crossed my lips!"

"Dearest Mari, you have no idea how honoured I am to hear such loyalty to our friendship," I confessed, "and I cannot express how exceedingly happy I am for you. I must confess my shock that you were able to keep such happy news contained within, for I would have expected you to be proclaiming such news from the top of Malkarov's tower for all of Easthaven to hear and I do not doubt such an announcement would have been enough to wake me from my slumber!"

Mari let out a little laugh, "Oh but my dearest Sharein, I did in fact attempt such a thing. Every day I visited you, I whispered my news into your ear to see whether it would awake you."

Malkarov chuckled around a mouthful of roasted beef, "So that's why you made me leave my vigil of my apprentice!"

"Verily," Mari said in all seriousness, "for although I had to tell Mother of course..."

"Of course," I agreed.

"... I could not allow another soul to overhear before Sharein," she finished.

Missus Rose returned with a mug of wine which Mari took a sip of immediately after thanking her. Mari's eyes widened in pleasant surprise over the rim of the mug and she followed with another sip straight after.

"And so," she continued, "this very day I arrived at Sister Tera's rooms and she informed me that you had, in fact awoke! I hurried here as fast as I could, for this was where Sister Tera suggested that I might find you."

I smiled at her eagerness and was delighted by her recounting.

"Oh dear me," Mari said, "I should let you get to your meal before it gets cold!"

"Missus Rose!" she attracted the publican's attention, "Do you mind if I return this mug later? I have ever so many people to share my news with!"

Missus Rose gave her assent and Mari bent down to give me a kiss on the cheek by way of goodbye, "I suppose I shall have to let Tomas know that he may tell his family?" She asked as she left.

She paused at the door and turned back to me, "Would you like me to stop in and give your family all the good news on the way home?"

"If you don't mind Mari," I told her, "I would appreciate that greatly. Although I don't know which news they shall be more eager to hear."

She frowned at me in a scandalised manner before realising my joke, "You must be all better then, I shall let them know. Take care of yourself."

"I shall, you too," I replied as she left.

"I must say," Malkarov said as I began on my meal, "with such persistence and loyalty, your friend would have made a good adventurer."

I let out a snort of laughter, "Please, I beg of you, don't bring me here just to make me choke on my food. I can barely imagine such a thing! For as long as I can remember Mari has thought of nothing but getting married and having children."

"That's fair enough," Malkarov conceded, "every day though. She was there every single day. Friends like that are rare indeed."

When Malkarov said that a warm feeling spread through me and I agreed "Yes. She is a rare friend indeed."

We finished our meals and Malkarov arranged for dinner to be delivered to us later. The roast sat heavy in my stomach and the ale sloshed around as I walked. We took it slowly and I leant very heavily upon Malkarov's arm as we made our way back to the tower.

"I daresay that you might appreciate a bath," Malkarov suggested once inside, "I'll help you up to your room and then get into contact with Alladrial. He's come through to visit you twice, at night, but has been eager for good tidings. Elves cope quite differently to humans with magical exhaustion, it's a bit more severe for them and as much as I tried to reassure him, he has been quite worried."

A sudden idea seemed to strike him, "In fact, I wonder whether the nature of their reaction to magical exhaustion prompted the development of longer spell-songs? Something to ponder over."

I thanked Malkarov for the assistance once we had reached my room and started to run the bath. While the bath filled, I got undressed and once it was at a good level I lowered myself into the hot water. I turned the water off a couple of inches from the rim and relaxed into it's warm embrace.

I was startled a moment later when Malkarov called through the door, "Sharein? You know not to attempt any magic for a while, yes?"

"I didn't for certain, but I wasn't about to," I called back, wondering if Alladrial might have said something.

This was confirmed a moment later when Malkarov shouted "I told you she'd know already!" before I heard his bedroom door close.

I shook my head at his behaviour and then realised with dismay that the book I had left near the bath was one written in Elvish.

'Oh poo,' I thought and closed my eyes to sink underneath the water.

I resurfaced, but kept my eyes closed and pushed out a silent message to Shard, letting her know what had happened and that I was now alright in case she had noticed the secession of my nightly prayers.

Instantly I saw her as clear as day standing in front of me in the darkness, one moment she was standing there and the next she was wrapped around me hugging me tightly. My face was full of her glorious black hair and I could feel her smooth cheek pressed against mine. My arms were wrapped around her waist and I suddenly felt whole again, complete, as if since she had been gone I had been missing a vital piece of myself.

"Thank the Mother you're okay!" She cried into my shoulder.

"I'm fine," I whispered back, "very tired but none the worse for wear."

"I had no idea!" Shard whimpered into my hair. I could smell that winter's heart scent that was all her and I could feel her all around me and it just made those feelings of happiness that had been hiding themselves away be released, exploding in a conflagration of emotion.

"I'm so sorry if I worried you, we were attacked by kobolds at the farm and everyone planned to go and find out where they were coming from and Malkarov was teaching me all of these new spells and I may have… sort of… over did it," I explained quickly.

"Kobolds?" she asked, leaning back to look me in the eyes.

"A tribe that lives in a hill in the forest was joined by another tribe and they were running out of food, so they came to our farm to kill one of our cows." I told her.

She whispered with a frown, "Oh poo," and looked up at me guiltily, "that may be my fault. I used to grant them luck in hunts and I set it up for that to continue, but if there are suddenly more of them then they would only be receiving the usual amount and probably getting a bit hungry."

"You're the kobold cave god?" I asked.

"It's a bit complicated," she explained, "Kurtulmak is a child god of Tenebrae's, and when the kobolds started praying to him at my altar I actioned the prayers, took a 'commission' and forwarded the rest on to Kurtulmak. It's not really, completely uncommon. A dark elf might see my altar and interpret it to be belonging to Iiskandiir and I would forward those prayers on to her."

"I've missed you, so, so very much," I said, diverting from the serious talk.

"Me too," she answered and we leant in to share a kiss.

When we broke the kiss, all too soon, Shard told me "I hope to be back sooner than I expected, it has me a little concerned, but Tenebrae seems to be entirely amenable to the idea of you being her chosen. Call on me, should you need me desperately, but otherwise I hope I shall return much sooner than High Summer."

She embraced me again in farewell and faded away even as she kissed me once more.

I opened my eyes regretfully and realised at the same time thankfully that the bath water was still hot. At least I had not fallen asleep and risked drowning!

The exhaustion was still present and as I looked down at myself, I realised with shock that I had appeared in my communication with Shard, completely naked. I wondered how she could possibly find me attractive enough to kiss looking so thin and haggard. If she was going to return in truth before High Summer then I had, at most, four months to put some meat back onto my bones and stop looking like a vagabond. Rationally I knew that I had little to worry about, being fed on Missus Rose's cooking even every second day, I should be looking hale and hearty by the time my love returned.


	38. Chapter 37

AUTHORS NOTES:

I hope everyone is staying safe, please leave me a review and favourite/follow if you like my story!

Archer1eye - It was all those 'exceedingly's! Things are very quiet here on the railways, not many people going out (which is good!). I wonder what Shard 'said' to the goddess to make her relent?

Firestorm2408 - Thanks for following!

 **Chapter 37**

1st-28th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

The first trees started to sprout green leaves on the second day of Early Spring that year and the Winter's Heart flowers dropped their leaves that night as they always did. Missus Eldarwood was the first to appear in the town square with a green leaf and as tradition dictated, shouted "Spring is here! All Hail The Light!". Everyone who wasn't already out rushed out of their houses into the square, little kids ran door to door knocking and announcing in loud voices "Spring is Here!" It was the first time for me witnessing this event as out on the farm we had only ever heard of it. Two days later everyone gathered in town for the Spring Welcoming festival. Some of the fist edible plants to sprout from the ground were the servach leaves. They were best eaten in the first days of sprouting and preceded the rest of the plant which would eventually produce a delicious fruit in Middle Spring. Servach leaves were picked and gathered into two baskets in the town square. Just before the festival one basket was emptied into frying pans and cooked (some with just butter and some with butter and garlic), the other basket was turned into a salad in different bowls (one with an egg dressing poured over it and the other with an oil and herb mixture). A number of spring lambs had been brought out into the town square earlier in the day and slaughtered, their blood collected to be distributed amongst the farms. These lambs were butchered and their carcasses were tied up over long wooden posts and thus hung over beds of coals near the river. For each carcass, a younger boy (eight or nine year olds) was assigned to turn the post at a slow but steady rate to ensure that it was cooked evenly. It was deemed an important job and each one would be granted first pick on the meat as payment for the task. A big bowl of lamb sauce (made from fermented milk, garlic and mint) was whipped up and provided at the feast to go with the meat, salads and cooked Servach. There was dancing and music afterwards and much drinking of ales and wines. Mari and Tomas were in an awkward stage of their relationship where they were promised to each other but not yet married. It was traditional for marriages to happen in Middle Spring with the birthing of animals providing good fortune in the creation of their own family.

It was a few days after Spring-coming when Malkarov first asked me to cast _Detect Magic_ for him. When I asked him if I was now okay to use magic he seemed surprised, as if he had forgotten. When I reminded him of what Alladrial had said he told me that it should be alright now. _Detect Magic_ came out _very_ easily, as if the magic inside of me was eager to be used like a racehorse champing at the bit.

Alladrial dropped in occasionally and it wasn't uncommon for Malkarov and I to eat dinner alone one day and then all three of us to be present for breakfast the next. After one such incident of cooking only enough breakfast for two and having to reheat the pan to cook again (and berating Malkarov for failing to notify me), they took to hanging a scarf through the outside handle of Malkarov's bedroom door if Alladrial had dropped by. Alladrial cooked us elvish dinners on a few evenings and while it was absolutely delicious, he enforced strict discipline over my learning of the alien elvish etiquette.

The better portion of Early Spring seemed to go by very quickly indeed. As the weather was starting to improve and flowers beginning to bloom we spent more and more time out and about. When we did so, Malkarov took ample opportunity to point out various components for the spells that he knew.

"Even if some of us don't even _need_ them, the rest of us do!" he exclaimed in huff when I asked why I needed to know which ones did what, "Even if you don't need them, if you spend time collecting them you can always sell them onto other wizards who might be happy to pay for them to save collecting them for themselves. Also, the more you collect now, the less I'll have to collect later."

We wandered all over Easthaven Shire with Malkarov pointing out the locations where he had often found various bugs, plants or other components.

Our wanderings were filled with little facts such as "Here, near this stream in the first tenday of Early Summer is where I was able to catch the most fireflies." or "I found these clear crystals surrounded by this reddish clay in this cliff, It took a lot of work to find enough but it's been the most reliable location."

When we went into the Shadowmark Forest (looking for a patch of goldenberries, the juice of which was apparently quite useful in a number of potions), I tried to steer Malkarov away from the area where I knew Shards altar to be. Unfortunately, he wanted to stay away from the area where he now knew the kobolds to be and we ended up walking straight into her clearing.

"So this must be the Shrine of Kobold God!" He exclaimed when he first laid eyes on it, "I'll let the council know of this location just in case."

He examined the stone and was immediately suspicious, "This is extremely old and the stone is of a sort that I do not recognise at all. I don't think that the kobolds made this themselves, it must have been here long before their arrival and they've just co-opted it."

Little did he know.

I whispered a quick greeting and prayer to Shard before we left the clearing and we did end up managing to find the patch of goldenberries.

We even crossed into Sunhaven Shire, which was a momentous occasion for me even though Malkarov hadn't actually pointed it out until we were already a mile or so past the border. On that same day that I first stepped foot out of Easthaven Shire, I also saw the home of the Baroness Eastholm; Eastholm Castle. Sunhaven Shire didn't really look any different to Easthaven Shire, which was a little disappointing to me; until Malkarov explained that much of Carn looked like any other part, except of course for the Baronocracy of Oscura which had been decimated by the Orc Wars. We stopped at the town of Sunhaven that day for a lunchtime meal at the Lazy Cricket Inn (which I was pleased to see stocked Merryman Ales). The publican; Master Willowbrush recognised Malkarov immediately and was greeted with a hearty welcome. Malkarov introduced me to him as Apprentice Wizard Sharein and he greeted me in a much more sedate (and respectful) manner. While nice, the meal wasn't anything to compare to Missus Roses cooking, although Master Willowbrush's cook did use an interesting combination of herbs than I normally would that I thought I might try myself later. Sunhaven itself was very similar to Easthaven, just slightly bigger and busier. It made sense that the only people who went to Easthaven had business in Easthaven as there was nothing else past us, while Sunhaven had roads leading to Easthaven Shire, Amarthis District, Castlemere and the Baronocracy of Oscura. I got just as many stares in Sunhaven as I did around Easthaven but I couldn't tell if it was because I was a stranger, by being in the company of Malkarov or because of my trousers.

We spent almost an entire tenday looking for a suitable piece of wood to make a staff from and although we were continuously distracted by other things, I did eventually find a long piece of Jarrah that Malkarov assured me would be eminently suitable for a staff. It was a lovely red wood and we spent a couple of days stripping the bark away from it and rubbing it down with a block of sandstone. It had a semi-circular groove in it which by rubbing along the length of the staff caused it to eventually take a smooth, round appearance. The end result was a plain length of wood the same height as me. Although I would not be enchanting it for a while and didn't actually need it to cast spells, Malkarov was adamant that I would need a staff regardless. He wouldn't actually say why, but I had the feeling that it had more to do with tradition and appearance than anything else.

All up the exercise was doing me well and although I was out of breath and tired after the first couple of excursions, I soon built up my energy (Missus Rose's meals helped, as Malkarov refused to let me cook until I felt better) and was as good as new after a tenday. A tenday later, I was starting to look a lot less haggard, more filled out and healthy looking.

On the days when we weren't going out and about, we covered the theory of the spells that Malkarov had already taught me, continued on my learning of runes and worked on brewing potions. Although I did mess up three more times, I did eventually manage to successfully brew a potion (a potion of Gorgon's Milk that would prevent the consumer from being petrified) and Malkarov was very pleased with my improvements. I read through the potion recipes prior to working on them and concentrated on learning the things to look for. I had learned half of the runes with another thirty more to go until Malkarov promised to start teaching me to combine runes and empower them. Casting _Detect Magic_ made it easier to see the runes carved on my inhouse and read the runes to operate the lights and water and I could see some of the runes that I had learned incorporated into larger patterns. I looked forward to learning enchanting as the prospects seemed so fascinating. Essentially, using runes, so long as I could make them work I could make an object do anything with magic!

I voiced my first idea; "A rune scheme to evaporate the water from anyone who stands on the rune platform, to dry you after you get out of the bath."

Malkarov explained that to do that then you'd first have to figure out a rune scheme to differentiate between the water on the person and the person themselves, then you'd have to invent a rune scheme to do something with the water after it evaporated. It got Malkarov thinking though and when I came back from my parent's farm the next tenday I discovered that he had planned out a rune scheme to create a constant blow of wind to come from the roof to blow the water off a person. His first attempt blew a chilling wind so cold that it actually created small flurries of snow to fall. His second blew a warmer wind so hard that it knocked him to the ground when he attempted it.

He worked on it every night with the explanation that, "Once I get an idea in my head about an enchantment, I just have to work until I get it out."

He got so obsessed with the idea that I even had to wake him up in the mornings, he was staying up late until he actually fell asleep at his desk. It was fascinating to watch the rune schemes grow though. He turned it into a 'learning experience', drawing up the current iteration of the rune scheme onto a large piece of slate using chalk and explaining to me what each part did. Most of it flew straight over my head but I did pick up bits and pieces of how things worked, especially when I asked him to explain specific parts and why two runes combined to make a specific effect.

My family was very happy to see me when I returned to the farm for my visits. Mother had assured my sisters that I would be alright, that I would just sleep for a while until I recovered, but they were still very anxious for me and extremely excited to see me. They were extremely jealous when I told them about seeing Sunholm and Easthaven Castle and begged Mother to take them to see it.

Mother laughed and told them "Someday, if it's something that you will wish to see then I'm sure that you'll be able to see it. The world is a big place with so many different things to see."

Once I was cleared by Malkarov to use my magic again, I impressed all of my family with the new spells that I had learned (although Mother wouldn't let me demonstrate _Feather Fall_ to my sisters.)

Being able to visit the farm was a nice distraction from Malkarov's lessons, but I was always eager to return for more.


	39. Chapter 38

AUTHORS NOTE:

Archer1eye - And now for something big! :)

 **Chapter 38**

28th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

On the night of the 28th day of Early Spring I had gone to sleep fairly early, leaving Malkarov tinkering around with his rune scheme for his "Blower". I hadn't been waking when he rang the two bells to go to sleep, as he had been forgetting about them until the time he actually went to sleep (which since I had given him this 'problem to solve' had been much much later than usual). He assured me that he had still been ringing them and apologised to me that they were late but I told him that I was going to sleep when I felt tired anyway and had been sleeping through them. Which was why it was strange to wake up in the middle of the night to bells ringing. It took a moment, listening to the bells ring and ring, before I realised that they weren't Malkarov's bells. They were the bells in town, the alarm bells! I jumped out of bed and had my nightgown over my head all in one motion. I was pulling my trousers on when my door opened and Malkarov's head appeared. In one quick moment his eyes went wide and then screwed tight. I expected to feel the flush of embarrassment but either due to the excitement of what was going on or the fact that neither of us were attracted to the other, I pretty much ignored it.

"I…" he stammered and I even giggled a little at the thought that he was more embarrassed than I was, "I just wanted to make sure you were awake! Sorry! That's the town's alarm bells! I'm going to head up to the roof to see what's going on, meet me down at the front door once you're dressed!"

"Okay!" I said, as I finished pulling up my trousers and tied them off. He head ducked back out of sight and I heard his feet slapping on the stone stairs as he ran up towards the roof. I lifted my tunic over my head and stuck my arms through before quickly wrapping a belt around and tying it off. I grabbed a leather strap to tie back my hair as I rushed down to the ground floor. I was there for a few moments before Malkarov came thundering down the steps carrying his staff and dressed in his robes.

"The Jorganhard's farm is aflame!" He exclaimed.

The Jorganshard's had the southernmost farm in Easthaven itself (Most farms were outside the valley that Easthaven rested in, but there were eight farmholds inside the valley. Mostly at the southern end.)

We both rushed out of the tower and down the path. We caught up with Sister Tera and all three of us ran across the bridge over the river. As we were running through town we noticed that others were already running out of their homes carrying buckets and heading south along the river.

In the distance I could see the glow of flames lighting up the sky, but a second glow was beginning to appear a little closer.

"Malkarov!" I yelled to get his attention and pointed when he looked, "I thought you said only the Jorganshard's farm was on fire?"

He stopped dead. Sister Tera and I both stopped also.

"I did and it was," he said, "I could see quite clearly from the top of my tower. There was only one fire."

Even as he said this, I noticed a third fire start to spring up even closer to us.

"There's something else going on! Something else is wrong!" He said and we all started running even faster towards the fires.

"Stop!" Malkarov shouted at people as we caught up to them, and commanded "Fetch weapons as well as buckets!"

Everyone he ordered turned around and ran back to their houses, but still we ran on.

We heard shouting before we saw anything. It was the fearful shouting of someone with their life in danger. We were near the Yordas' Farm, the only one not on fire before the three that were; but even as we watched flames began to lick up the side of the farm house. We could see dark shapes, many of them, between us and the flames.

"Kobolds!" Malkarov shouted as I saw one of them. It was at least a hundred yards away and only lit up by the fire from the farmhouse, but it was definitely a kobold. Unlike the other ones I had seen, these were better equipped with swords or spears.

I didn't even think, I didn't consciously make a decision on what to do. As soon as I heard Malkarov begin to speak a magical phrase, I pushed out my magic as an _Elemental Bolt_. Both of our bolts flew off together into the kobolds, both hitting the same one. I could see at the distance the kobold fly backwards into the flaming wall of the farmhouse. The others around it froze.

"Move closer ten feet, you work from the left in towards the middle!" Malkarov commanded me.

We both moved together about ten feet and I managed to cast another _Elemental Bolt_ while I did so. It shot off and the leftmost kobold dropped down dead. Malkarov was pulling something from a pocket in his robes and held it up with his staff pointed towards the kobolds. More were running into the light provided by the farmhouse fire and there would have been close to fifty of the little creatures all crowded around. They seemed a little hesitant to do anything, but as more gathered they seemed to be readying to charge at us.

I had let loose another _Elemental Bolt_ when Malkarov completed the words I recognised as being for _Elemental Explosion_ and I was able to witness it's devastating effects for the first time. When he first cast it atop his tower I was unable to see exactly what it did as he had cast it into the air. Against the kobolds I was able to see exactly what was happening. Malkarov had cast it pretty much into the middle of the gathering and a sphere of whipping wind appeared. Like the tornados that we would sometimes see in Late Spring or Early Summer, but instead of being a tall tower of wind this whipped everything around inside an invisible sphere. It even sucked in those near the edges, lifting them up and sending them whizzing around. It was a mass of kobold limbs, bodies and weapons. The explosion touched onto the edge of the farmhouse and writhing whip-like tongues of flame were brought into the sphere like ribbons of yellow-orange light. If any of the kobolds inside the explosion were still alive, the flames would have ensured that they died a very painful death. As it was the explosion ended suddenly, dropping everything into a big heap. A large pile of kobold bodies sat rather neatly at the epicentre of the spell, spears and swords sticking out at all angles. Some of their closes appeared to be on fire, or smouldering at least as small pinpricks of light dotted the mound.

I released two more _Elemental Bolts_ , knocking down a kobold each, then felt a breeze as someone ran past me. It was Sister Tera, running towards the kobolds!

"Sister!" I shouted, as much to stop her as to make Malkarov aware.

"Move up fifty feet!" Malkarov shouted and I moved forward steadily. I still managed to cast five more _Elemental Bolts_ , downing a kobold with each one. Malkarov matched me, casting _Elemental Bolts_ of his own that knocked his kobolds flying backwards with each hit.

There were only a handful of kobolds left now that we could see and Malkarov shouted "Dancing Lights in front of them!"

We both cast _Dancing Lights_ with mine appearing in a line twenty feet apart right in front of the kobolds. Malkarov's appeared slightly closer towards us, but also about twenty feet apart. A long line of eight glowing lights illuminated the scene ahead. There were only four kobolds left near the farmhouse, but the lights showed a group of three kobolds trying to sneak around towards us. The lights on the right illuminated the fleeing backsides of six or seven kobolds running away towards the southern farms. Sister Tera was still running towards the farmhouse as quickly as she could.

I cast _Elemental Sphere_ between her and the kobolds sneaking near the left hand _Dancing Lights_. My large ball of blacklight and purple appeared floating in the air and I directed it into the middle of the group of kobolds. It struck two of them, who started to shriek in pain. The shrieks slowly grew quieter however as the kobolds collapsed to the ground. Something struck me in the shoulder and I heard something crack as a sudden blast of white hot pain radiated out from a spot that was quickly becoming numb. I tried to move my arm but the pain only increased. I couldn't lift it at all! I felt and heard Malkarov take care of the kobolds that remained near the farmhouse.

The last kobold was very close to me now, running as fast as it's legs could carry it. It was wearing a tattered red tunic and seemed to have red paint on it's scaled face. It's snout was a similar shape to a dog's, but scaled rather than furry. The bony spikes dotting it's skull appeared sharpened. It seemed to have dropped it's weapon at some point but had both of it's clawed hands stretched out ahead of it. I tried to gather my thoughts to cast an _Elemental Bolt_ but couldn't, the pain was too great. It reached a point only a few feet away from me and pounced, soaring through the air towards me. I stretched out my good arm in front of me and felt the magical power of _Elemental Touch_ explode out from inside me to encase my hand. It was only thanks to the extra foot or so of reach that I had over the kobold that I wasn't hurt worse than I was. The moment my hand touched the kobold, the magic flowed from around my hand into the kobold flying into me. It hit me and we both toppled over, with it on top of me. Pain flooded me from my shoulder but that was only a small distraction to what was going on right in front of my nose. I looked the kobold straight in it's yellow eyes, even as the spark of life contained in them winked out. It's scales went from shiny in the moonlight to dull and cracked. It's flesh went from relatively plump to extremely sunken and wizened.

I pushed the creature off me with my one good hand and let out a little yelp when my finger punctured the skin of it's cheek. The skin had ripped like thin dry parchment, as if there were no substance to it at all.

I yelled out to Malkarov as I wasn't able to sit myself up.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he hovered over me.

"No," I replied, wincing at the pain, "something is wrong with my shoulder. I think something hit me and I heard a crack, now it just hurts and I can't move my arm."

He felt around on my shoulder and I shouted in pain when he touched one of the bones there.

"It's broken," he said plainly, "It shouldn't be anything that Sister Tera can't heal."

"Is she okay?" I asked as I looked around for her.

"She's inside the house, probably looking to make sure that there isn't anybody inside," he said simply.

A moment of panic sparked up inside me, "But it's on fire!"

Malkarov laughed, "Celestine has likely granted her _Resistance to Fire_. Sister Tera can look after herself."

Malkarov held out a hand and lifted me up, it jolted my shoulder and sent a sharp wave of pain radiating through my upper body but I tried my best to put up with it. We walked slowly towards the farm as the Easthaven townfolk began to arrive. Mayor Crownever was carrying a large spear and a bucket but was shouting instructions to everyone to form bucket chains. Thankfully the farms all backed onto the river and so were very close to an easy source of water. Children were sent to get other children up out of bed to come down and help. They were tasked, when they arrived, with carrying the empty buckets back to the person at the river. Once the chain was formed at Yorda's farm, surplus town folk headed to the next farmhouse to do likewise.

Just after the first bucket was thrown in the doorway, Sister Tera came walking out, a bluish glow surrounded her. She was completely unharmed by the flames but was coughing a little from the smoke. A cheer went up from the townsfolk when they realised that she was holding the hand of a glowing Tammen Yorda, the youngest son who in turn was holding the glowing hand of his older sister Ullath. In this manner the entire family was extracted from the burning house completely unharmed.

Malkarov called to her and she very matter-of-factly healed my shoulder with a prayer. The cold shiver didn't take me by surprise this time and I gave her a quick thanks before we three headed off as quickly as we could for the next two farms.

Our first stop was quick as everyone had escaped before it caught fire, but Sister Tera made a grim discovery at the Jorganshard's farm; while she found Missus Jorganshard unconscious and was able to heal her, she was not able to heal her eldest son Kardin who was only two years younger than me.

Malkarov and I continued to look around for any more kobolds, casting _Dancing Lights_ around us to provide enough light to detect them. We saw no more of them that night.


	40. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

29th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

I woke up late, the sun was already overhead when I looked out of the window. After I made breakfast I had to ring the bells to get Malkarov up as he had slept in as well.

"Your father will most likely be coming into town today for a meeting of the town council," Malkarov said around a mouthful of sausage, "I think it would be best if we both attend and then you could head back with him."

I agreed with him, "That sounds good. But what will happen at the meeting, what input could I have that you could not?"

"A second perspective will always be different," he replied, "but more than that, it's important that you go so that the town can thank you."

"Thank me?" I asked.

"Yes," he said with a smile, "if you decide to become a wandering wizard, join with a party of adventurers, then you might get rewarded by a town or city for solving a monster problem. For me and by extension you, we do not get rewards for saving our town as the town is always looking after us in other ways."

"What other ways?" I asked.

"To begin with," he answered, "I was granted this land to build my tower. The town pays me a small amount each season to stay here. Wizards in larger cities will often be paid more or granted land and title. As the Wizard of Easthaven Shire, I have exclusive rights granted by the shire through the guild to harvest components in the Shire."

"Didn't we collect components in Sunhaven Shire?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied, "The Wizard Trilliash of Eastholm Castle has the rights to Sunhaven Shire. She and I have an agreement that we may use each other's Shires to find components for personal use and any components that we sell are split half and half. She is a Potioneer so in practice I will often offer her potion components first before selling them and she will often offer me the ingredients I require for enchanting before selling them."

I nodded, it was a sensible arrangement. The town bell rang out loud and clear. _Dong... Dong-dong. Dong… Dong-dong… Dong...Dong-dong._ This was the signal for a town meeting, for everyone to gather. We had many different signals that I had never really learned properly but aside from the emergency bell (Just aggressive, random ringing) the town meeting call was one that I remembered.

We finished breakfast and I got everything that I needed into my pack. Once we were ready, we headed out to the town square. Mayor Crownever was already there, as was most of the town. A few were still heading in from the direction of the farmer's common. Malkarov spotted Father first and called out to him. He came over to us and caught me up in a hug then held me out at arms length to look at me.

"I heard a little of what happened last night," he said to me, "are you alright? Are you injured?"

"I'm fine Father," I reassured him, "One of them hit me with something and broke my shoulder, but Sister Tera healed it up as good as new."

"A sling stone," Malkarov interjected, "most likely. We're lucky it didn't hit your head. We will have to practice incorporating _Shield_ into our training."

"Obviously they decided that they wanted more than just a bite of one of my cows," Father said, "I feel that the general consensus will be that we attack their cave to get rid of them."

"That would probably be the likely course of action," Malkarov agreed, "their males are their warriors but are also their hunters. They have likely lost the majority of their males and will be in a precarious situation. The unexpected attack however, will likely result in a violent retaliation."

"Against what will likely be females and children?" I asked, a little shocked.

"Most will not see that," Malkarov nodded and stated, "but will only see enemy kobolds."

This troubled me. It was one thing to kill armed kobolds that were trying to kill me, but to kill kobolds in their home that were just trying to survive?

After a short time Mayor Crownever began the meeting.

"People of Easthaven! Good people of Easthaven! Last night we lost one of our own. Kardin Jorganshard was murdered last night when the Jorganshard, Danshold and Yorda farms were attacked by kobolds." The crowd murmured angrily. Many shifted uneasily. "These kobolds came armed to conduct war upon us! They attacked without warning, in the middle of the night. Missus Jorganshard and the Yorda family survived only through the divine actions of Sister Tera and the blessings of Celestine!"

The crowd cheered. Missus Jorganshard looked torn between her sadness at the loss of Kardin and her relief and gratitude at being saved by Sister Tera. Master Jorganshard just looked angry, furious in fact.

"We don't know why the kobolds changed their minds," Mayor Crownever stated, "but they did. The attacking force was killed by the magics of the Wizard Malkarov and his apprentice Sharein Askilain!"

The crowd cheered so loudly that it almost hurt my ears. Those close to us clapped us on our backs. It came as such a surprise to me that the first one forced me to take a step to steady myself and made me glad that Sister Tera had healed my shoulder (else I would likely have been curled up in pain). Father beamed in pride.

"Together they killed thirty two of the vermin kobold!" the Mayor announced and waited for the cheering to end once more, "We are gathered here to determine what to do about this kobold menace! Raise your hand if you wish to speak and you will have a small amount of time to say your piece."

Master Jorganshard was the first to speak and he gave an impassioned plea to attack the kobolds immediately, to wipe them out entirely and finished by saying "If we don't get rid of these evil murderers now, then your child might be the next one to die!"

Missus Jorganshard burst into tears and together they walked off away from the crowds.

A few others got up to echo Master Jorganshard's words and it seemed to be the consensus of the crowd.

Master Waeder, the blacksmith, stood up, "I'm not going to comment on what we should do. But whatever the decision is, should we not call upon the Baroness Eastholm to deal with it? At the very least, should we not notify the Baroness of the happenings?"

Mayor Crownever stood then, "I will be notifying the Baroness as to what happened last night as part of my Mayoral duties. But I will declare the vote on this proposition now: Should we ask the Baroness Eastholm to deal with the kobold problem for us? All those in favour, raise your hands."

Only a few hands were raised. The Mayor didn't even bother counting. This was a direct attack against Easthaven and Easthaven obviously wanted to deal with it themselves.

Master Danshold came up to talk, "We gave them a chance! We extended our hands in peace, even after they attacked the Askilain farm! We should take up weapons and attack them, kill them all!"

Many of the townspeople loudly agreed. Very loudly. The almost seemed ready to storm off there and then, no matter what the outcome of the meeting.

Malkarov stood up next to me and strode towards the stage. He was welcomed by a splattering of cheers.

"You all know that I am sworn to this town and that I will do whatever the town decides," he began and the crown cheered, "but I would ask that you all consider your actions. Ask yourselves what it means. Most of the kobold warriors are dead, there are only a few left. The majority of the kobolds will only be women and children, the young and the infirm. Even if the decision is made to attack them, let it be not until tomorrow to give yourselves time to think on it and let your hot heads cool down."

Less cheered him at the end of his speech than did at the beginning, but I did notice that a few of those who had appeared to have been only one step away from charging off now looked a bit thoughtful.

A few more spoke, all in favour of attacking the kobolds and 'getting rid of them', but they all seemed less eager to do something immediately. Malkarov's advice was well-heeded.

In the end the Mayor held the vote to attack the kobolds and get rid of them; the majority of hands were held in favour. He then held the vote to hold off until tomorrow and while there were fewer than the previous vote, there was still a majority. I did not hold up my hand to attack and neither did Malkarov or Father, but we three all did for the final vote.

Malkarov escorted Father and I to the Farmers Common and told me that he would stop by in the morning to pick me up on the way to the kobold's hill cave.

"How can they advocate the slaughter of those innocent kobolds?" I asked Malkarov, "Do you think that they will follow through with this proposition born of anger?"

"You answered that yourself, Sharein," Malkarov replied, "It is born of anger and anger is the enemy of sense and morality. I hope that with my delay until tomorrow that they might rethink when it comes time, but I doubt it. They won't see females and children, they will see the prevention of the deaths of those that they care for. They will see a righteous cause."

On the way home Father asked me about the events of the previous night and I described them for him in greater detail. The speed at which we dispatched the attacking kobolds shocked him a little and he asked me about the _Shield_ spell that Malkarov had mentioned.

"Considering the hit you took, I think that the Wizard Malkarov makes a very good point." Father said, "Imagine if it was something worse or in a different place?"

I stewed on the injustice of the upcoming attack all the way home but I was just an apprentice wizard. Maybe I should have stood up and had my say? I kicked myself that I had not. Perhaps I could convince the townsfolk to show mercy on the 'morrow?

I had to tell the story of the kobold attack once more for Mother and my siblings, which entertained them greatly.

After dinner and catching up with my family we all went to bed.

It was lying down in bed, thinking of Shard that I realised that I had to do something.


	41. Chapter 40

AUTHORS NOTES:

Natalie Moreland: Thanks for the favourite and follow!

Greengiant503: Thanks for the favourites! I hope you follow also, to keep up to date with new chapters!

Archer1eye: I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's got a little bit of action and a little bit of warm and fluffy feelings. It might not answer all of your questions, but the actions in this chapter will play an important part in events later on in the story.

Slyksylva: Thanks for the review! It might still be a while before Shard gets back, although I plan on doing a couple more multi-day chapters to get to that point quicker. I miss Shard almost as much as Sharein does ;-)

 **Chapter 40**

29th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

I got back up and got dressed, as quietly as I could. I checked on Illith and Kara to ensure that they were still asleep when I silently closed the door.

I crept out of the house and in the moonlight, made my way firstly to Shard's altar. The forest was still and quiet, not even an owl hoot. I hoped that the wargs would not be out tonight, but at least I now had means to defend myself from them, should they attack.

"Shard, my love," I said aloud when I reached the altar, "the townsfolk plan on coming here tomorrow and slaughtering the kobolds that have been praying here. I can't let that happen, there are mostly only females and children left. If anything should happen to me, just know that I love you."

I felt a chill wrap around me, as if she were holding me in her cold arms.

"I love you too," I heard her whisper behind my ear.

I whipped my head around, but she was not there, not physically. A little disappointed, I headed out in the direction that Malkarov had indicated that their hill lay. I noticed the small track that led from the altar, I had ignored it in the past believing it to have been created by an animal. As soon as I started on the path, I cast a _Shield_ spell over myself but did not cast _Dancing Lights_ or any such spell as I believed it to be better not to give any indication of my approach. I debated whether or not to cast _Invisibility_ , but decided that if I did come across a kobold, I didn't want to just suddenly appear out of thin air. Honestly, I didn't exactly know how I would go about convincing them to leave, I just hoped that I could convince them without resorting to killing any of them.

Eventually, I noticed the ground inclining a little and through the trees, in the darkness I thought I saw the hill ahead. Near the base of the hill the trees thinned out and the path curved around to lead into a large cave mouth. I stood there at the edge of the clearing for a few moments, wondering what to do.

I cast _Dancing Lights_ and spread them out on either side of me towards the cave mouth and recast _Shield_ (it didn't last very long and I had already had to recast it many times as I walked through the forest). I wished that I had been able to cast Malkarov's _Tongues_ spell but that was, for now, beyond me.

A small kobold came out of the cave and stopped in shock at my floating lights, it was holding a small wooden toy of some sort. It looked around, its attention consumed by the oddities in front of it before it actually noticed me. It dropped the toy suddenly and ran back inside the cave. Very soon nine male kobolds rushed out of the cave carrying knives and clubs. They skidded to a stop in a line in front of the cave and brandished their weapons menacingly. They did not advance any closer and were obviously standing in such a way as to defend their cave from attack. Other shapes huddled around in the darkness of the cave behind them, possibly the female kobolds in another line to defend their children. The crowd of kobolds parted and a larger kobold strode through the gap. I heard a crack as it stepped, uncaring, on the wooden toy abandoned in the dirt. It carried a wooden spear with a steel tip which it used to point at me and used its other hand to point back towards the town. It hissed at me in its language; words that sounded very threatening.

I waited for it to finish and then tried to get my own message through to them.

I pointed at them and pointed towards my family's farm, then used two fingers to indicate horns and let out a loud 'moo'. I shook my head 'no' and slashed my arm down violently.

I pointed at them again and then pointed towards the town, then slashed my arm down violently again. Lastly I pointed to a few of them then gestured to all of them with a sweeping hand and then pointed to the south, towards the mountains. I did that again to hammer home the message, they had attacked the farm and attacked the town and now they must go. This was to be their only chance.

The large kobold hissed at the kobold warrior standing next to him and gestured at me with his spear. The kobold hissed quickly back and then began running straight at me!

I cast _Elemental Bolt_ at the creature and it collapsed mid stride, falling down into the dirt close to me, it's dagger skittering along the ground to rest at my feet. The kobolds already looked hungry, but the effects of my seeming made this one appear starved and emaciated. The kobolds all hissed in fear. I gestured to them and pointed violently to the south.

The kobold leader growled and ran at me, stopping suddenly and letting fly it's spear. I watched it's sharpened point come closer and closer. It was a good throw, the kobold had good aim. The spear was coming straight for me. Just as it was about to skewer me, it hit my _shield_ and ricocheted away behind me to _thud_ into a tree. The kobold leader did not slow down however, it had already drawn it's dagger and had just about reached the body of the slain kobold warrior. I recalled the feeling of magic for the _Magic Missile_ spell, pushing as much power into it as I could and summoned six glowing arrows around me. I raised my hand to point at the kobold leader, who stumbled a little with its eyes going so wide in knowledge of the horror that was about to befall it. The six glowing arrows sped unerringly towards the kobold, coming close together and spinning around each other leaving behind sparks of light that drifted down to the ground like white embers. The arrows of magic struck the large kobold dead in the chest, ripping straight through and out the other side. They hit with such ferocity that it's movement was halted in mid air and it was sent flying backwards a few feet, landing on the ground with a thud next to the other dead kobold.

I looked up at the kobolds in front of the cave. They reflexively took a step backwards in fear. Once more I gestured to them and then pointed to the south.

I felt my _Shield_ spell end and silently cast it once more, just in case.

One of the kobolds in the line raised it's club up and took a hesitant step forward.

I prepared for its charge, ready to slaughter another of them.

Suddenly, it collapsed in a heap! In surprise I stood up a little straighter. The other warrior kobolds all turned around slightly to look behind them. One of the kobolds from the cave strode forward past the line of warriors and turned around to put its back towards me. I'd guess that it was a female kobold, it's scales were a slightly lighter colour and it had a different style of markings than the warriors. It was holding a large stone in its hand. It hissed loudly, clicking and hissing angrily at the kobolds both in the cave and in front of it. Periodically it made gestures at the two dead kobolds in front of me, or at me. After a few moments of, what to them, appeared to be yelling; the kobold stopped and the males lowered their weapons. As they disappeared back inside the cave, the lone female approached me slowly with its hands held out so that it's claws all pointed out the ground. Its head was lowered and it stopped just short of the two kobold corpses. Slowly it moved its hands to point to its own chest, then half turned to point at the cave. Then it gestured towards the south and raised its head a little to look up at me. It was a look that I knew well, a look that I had seen many times before. The kobold looked like a dog that had been caught doing something wrong or that had been shown the evidence of it's misdeeds. It was a look of contrition, a look of guilt.

I myself pointed towards the south and nodded at the kobold. Then I copied its gesture by holding my hands such that my fingers pointed downwards.

Its eyes widened a little and I hoped that I had not made a mistake by doing that, that it would not be interpreted as me backing down at all.

The female kobold walked backwards, towards the cave, so that it was still facing me. It stopped near the cave mouth and turned its head to hiss back inside.

Presently a large band of kobolds walked out of the cave in a long double line towards the south. Some were walking by themselves carrying fur bundles, others were allowing older slower kobolds to lean on them and yet others were carrying small baby kobolds. Many female kobolds were carrying large coppery coloured eggs in leather and fur harnesses. One small kobold, half the size of the average adult broke from the line and ran up towards the lone female. It stopped and bent down to pick up something from the dirt, letting out a mournful mew. The last of the kobolds appeared to have left the cave and the lone female gently pushed the child towards the end of the line as it went to join the tail also. I walked slowly towards them and they froze where they were. I kept walking slowly towards them and the little kobold hid behind the older ones legs, the adult standing stock still and staring at me warily. I crouched down once I got close and held out my hand, palm up. The older kobold reached behind to pull out the younger one, which looked up at it questioningly. The older one nodded and the younger held out it's clawed hand to gently drop the broken toy onto my palm. It was a crude thing, roughly carved into the shape of a kobold. Its tail and one of its legs were snapped off. I held the pieces together and cast a couple of _Mending_ 's. When I handed the toy back to the little lizard creature it's entire face brightened instantly. There was no more wariness, no more fear. It rushed towards me and the older one made a failed desperate attempt to grab hold of it. The little creature wrapped its arms around my arm and nuzzled at my chest in what seemed to be the kobold equivalent of a hug. The older kobold stepped back in surprise, bringing up its hand over its chest in an all too human gesture. After a moment the older kobold stepped closer to us and (keeping its hands pointed downwards in its non-threatening gesture) slowly pried the little kobold away from me. They both hurried to catch up to the tail end of the kobold refugees, but before they disappeared into the forest they both turned around to look at me one last time.

A few moments after the kobolds had disappeared into the forest, I turned around and sent my _Dancing Lights_ ahead of me into the forest. Movement caught my eye and I sent one of the lights over towards it.

What that light illuminated was the last thing I expected to see.


	42. Chapter 41

AUTHORS NOTES:

Archer1eye: Thank you so much for your review! You guessed it! But hopefully it will be a good surprise still! A little bit of waff and character developement in this chapter and some good news too!

Slyksylva: Haha! Tenebrae must be unhappy with you because reasons! I'm sorry, I got to that point and thought 'this is just too perfect a place to end this chapter.'.

Just a quick chapter for now, the next one should be much longer :)

 **Chapter 41**

30th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

"What are you doing here?" I asked, surprised.

Illith looked at me in shock, and stuttered "I… I.."

I realised how tired I was and walked past her saying "Come along, you can talk on the way home."

Illith obediently followed along and eventually managed to say quietly "I woke up when you got up and followed you. I thought that you might be doing some sort of magical ritual and wanted to watch."

I stopped suddenly and she almost walked into my back "So you followed fairly closely to not get lost and saw and heard everything?"

"Yes?" Illith said, nervously making it sound like a question.

"So…" I asked as I continued to walk trying to make myself sound confident, "Do you have any questions?"

"I can understand why you wanted them to leave, I don't think I would have wanted any of those children to be killed," there was a moment's pause before she asked, "who were you talking to back in that clearing, at the stone?"

There it was, the one thing that I had hoped she hadn't seen, or heard.

"I can't tell you who she is Illith," I replied, carefully, "not that I don't want to, but that I can't."

I did not know whether or not her overhearing me had bypassed my oath, but I did not wish to risk it.

"You called her 'your love'," she stated in a confused tone.

'Oh pooh,' I spun around and held out my hands to take her shoulders to plead with her "Please Illith, please; you mustn't tell Mother or Father, you mustn't tell anyone!"

"But you called _her_ …" Illith repeated.

"Yes Illith," I said.

" _Her_ , you called _her_ 'your love'," Illith said again.

"Yes Illith, I'm in love with a _her_ ," I said.

She furrowed her brows "We can do that?"

I let out a little laugh "Yes, but nobody in town thinks that it's acceptable. But I can't help who I love and I love a _her_. I could never love a boy."

She looked even more confused, lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed; she looked like she was about to say something, but stopped.

"Illith," I asked, "what is it?"

She frowned at me and asked quietly "Does it have to be one or the other?"

Now it was my turn "What do you mean?"

"Well…" she said, "does it have to be a boy _or_ a girl? Can it be both?"

"Ummmm…" I thought aloud, "I don't see why not? You can't control who you are attracted to, I think. I've always been attracted to girls only, but I don't see why you couldn't find both attractive."

"Oh good," she said simply and definitely.

"Please Illith, you have to promise me not to say anything to anyone about me," I begged.

"Only if you promise not to tell anyone that I like girls too?" She asked.

"Deal," we said, one after the other. Then we found ourselves in a fast hug, laughing and crying in relief.

"So," she said when we broke our hug, "why can't you tell me who she is?"

"I swore an oath not to," I said, "a promise, a magical promise."

"Oh," she replied, sounding disappointed.

We started walking, back along the path towards Shard's clearing. I wondered whether I should stop and speak to Shard there. It was too risky though, with Illith. I decided to talk to Shard before I went to sleep instead. Sleep sounded wonderful, I was so tired and was not looking forward to waking up at sunrise. We would probably have been a quarter of the way through the night by the time we got back home as it was, if not closer to half way.

"So…" I said to Illith, "Is there a someone or _someones_ that you're interested in to know that you like boys _and_ girls?"

Illith stopped and blushed a deep crimson. She said something, too quietly for me to hear and skipped to catch up to me.

"Sorry Illith, I didn't quite catch that?" I said.

She blushed again and mumbled something too garbled for me to understand.

"Sorry Illith, again?" I asked.

"Tarisha and Darnik Danshold!" She practically shouted, then let out a loud "Oops!"

I probably could have guessed; Darnik was a year older than Illith and was the older brother of Tarisha (who was the same age as Illith and was one of her good friends from town.) If someone had asked me before Illith's revelation if she might have had eyes for someone, my guess would have been Darknik. I would never have guessed that she had eyes for Tarisha though. I wondered if anyone had ever noticed my attraction towards Mari though. Maybe we just don't look for things when we don't expect them?

On the way back to Shard's clearing, I asked Illith questions about her attraction to Tarisha. I had to admit that she was a very pretty girl with such a generous heart that it would be almost impossible for anyone not to love her. Illith had concerns about how Tarisha might react to her attraction and I had to admit that I understood completely. Tarisha reminded me a little bit of Beka in that they both strictly adhered to the tenets of the church. I didn't want Beka to find out about my attraction towards girls because I didn't think that she would take it very well at all. I could see Tarisha being the same. Our conversation moved on to inconsequential things as we walked and we soon arrived at Shard's clearing and altar. I wasn't going to stop and speak to her, but I couldn't help myself when I saw her altar.

"Just one moment," I said to Illith as I walked to the altar and placed my hands upon its smooth surface.

"I'm here my love. I'm safe and everything seems to have worked out for the best," I whispered, pausing before my admission, "Illith overheard me talking to you earlier."

"I knew," I heard a voice behind me.

It was followed rapidly by a surprised sound from Illith. I spun around and saw Shard standing there, in a manner of speaking. She appeared in the form of a ghostly apparition, a projection that I could see through. She glowed with the same black light with purple lightning that my seeming created. I extended my hand to her face, to cup her cheek but my hand passed straight into her without any resistance.

"You knew?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied and turned slightly to face Illith, who had been edging around the clearing to get a better look at Shard's face without being too close, "hello Illith. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm sorry that I couldn't be here in person to meet you the first time, but I'm a little busy elsewhere."

"H...h… hello." Illith stammered, wide-eyed and wavering between shock and amazement.

"Silly me," Shard said with a giggle, "you can call me Shard. Sharein has told me so much about you."

"You're very pretty," Illith blurted and immediately blushed bright red, covering her mouth with both her hands in embarrassment.

"Why thank you," Shard said gently and then looked at me, "but not as pretty as your sister."

It was my turn to blush now and I asked quickly to change the topic "How goes your task? When will you be back?"

She smiled at me "Sooner than expected, not much longer now at all."

Excitement bubbled up in me "I can't wait to see you again, properly."

She started to fade "Nor I, my love, nor I," and she faded away completely.

The shock of her sudden appearance and equally sudden disappearance hit me then, but thankfully Illith sensed something and took me up in a tight hug. A few tears escaped as I held her close.

"Is Shard a wizard, like you?" Illith asked once we had separated and I had composed myself.

"No," I replied, "not at all like me. She's very special, very very special. Please, still, you mustn't tell anyone about her," I pleaded.

"Of course I won't," she replied, "I promised, didn't I?"

"You did," I said, giving her a kiss on the forehead, "come on. We should both hurry home and be abed, there's not much time before the sun is due to rise and I haven't even had a sleep yet."

We hurried home and I dispelled my _Dancing Lights_ before we got close to the house. We crept into the house as quietly as we could and got changed into our night clothes, careful not to wake Kara or Mother; for while Father would sleep like a log, Mother would wake at the slightest sound. Exhausted, I lay down in my bed and pulled the covers over me. The last thing I thought of before I fell asleep was Shard telling me that she would be back soon.


	43. Chapter 42

AUTHORS NOTES:

Well now, this chapter was written so quickly after the previous chapter because I just had to get some of this out. So many things that I was planning on writing later just wanted to be put in now and WOW! I'm kind of in shock. So many surprises for Sharein, so many surprises for me! The end of this chapter is actually the start of what I was intending this chapter to be...

Slyksylva - Thanks for the review! Hopefully this is even MORE interesting!

Archer1eye - Here's an angry mob for you!

 **Chapter 42**

30th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

I was woken, after definitely not enough sleep, by Mother gently shaking me. I sat up groggily and looked over at the other beds in the room. Kara's was empty, but Illith was still asleep in hers. We'd both slept in. Seeing that I was awake, Mother walked over to Illith's bed and gently shook her awake.

"Sit," she commanded to Illith, pointing next to me.

Illith did as she was told and, half asleep, collapsed heavily next to me.

Mother was frowning at both of us, she knew!

"Sharein," she said, "if you are going to sneak out at night, make sure to not wake your sisters."

"Yes Mother," I replied contritely, hanging my head.

"Illith," she said to my sister, "you are not yet thirteen. You are still not to be out of my sight and definitely not to be going into that forest."

"Yes Mother," Illith said, equally as contrite as I.

"Sharein," Mother said, looking at me again, "when she gets back, you will bring her to dinner."

"Bring who?" I asked as innocently as I could, how did Mother know about Shard?

"Your… the girl you are… walking out with?" Mother said slowly, hesitantly but then grew more sure, "or are you engaged to be married?"

Illith let out a little gasp that was cut off when Mother shot her a look, "Shard."

"How?" I asked quietly, echoing my shocked thoughts, how did Mother know all this? Did she hear all of our conversations?

Mother pffffft'd and rolled her eyes at me, "you two both made so much noise and were so oblivious to your surroundings that a blind beggar could have strolled right up and stolen the ribbons right out of your hair." Her voice hardened a little, "don't evade the question."

"Uhhh…" I stalled, trying to process what Mother had just said and delay any admissions, "I don't think that I'll be able to bring her to dinner. I don't think that she can leave the clearing. I mean; I haven't asked, but we've never left the clearing."

"Sharein," Mother said sharply,cutting off my rambling "are you engaged to be married to her?"

"I… didn't think that we could?" I replied.

"Well, officially with the Mayor of course you can't," Mother replied, "but a marriage is first and foremost acknowledged by the Gods and depending upon which God, there are ceremonies that can be performed between two women."

Processing this news filled me both with excitement, confusion, trepidation and a sudden realisation, "I… think that I might be?'

Mother's voice hardened even more and Illith shifted uncomfortably at her tone, "What do you mean 'you might be'?"

"Well," I said, surprised at the coldness in Mother's voice, "I think I said 'If I could, I would marry you', does that count as a proposal?"

Mother deflated, visibly, and looked askance at Illith, before rallying herself and sitting up a little straighter, "It could. It definitely could. I don't know whether that will affect anything or not."

"Affect what?" I asked.

"You remember that I told you that I prayed at that altar in the forest for you and my mother prayed at an altar for me and so on and so on?" I nodded, "We received a vision, a confirmation that our prayers would be answered. A masked god appeared before us, he wore a hooded cloak and a mask over his emerald green eyes. For each of us it happened right before sunrise, before our mothers came to get us. But, and this is the most important bit, it was not simply a granting of prayer. Whichever god it was, whichever god we prayed to, he demanded a sacrifice. A promise, that he be given the Mother's-right over the child. My mother gave her Mother's-right over me to that god and I gave my Mother's-right over you to him. Sharein, I never chose your Father, I had eyes for… someone else. On my fourteenth name day your Grandmother dreamed about your Father, just as her Mother dreamed about your Grandfather on her fourteenth name day. My Mother demanded that I stop pursuing the other person, she demanded it under Mother's-right. Of course I complied, albeit unhappily. I demanded to know who I _could_ pursue and she told me 'I'll know him when I see him.' It took another two years for her to point out your Father to me. She arranged our marriage and that was that. It wasn't until the morning after the night at the altar that she explained it to me. 'Aloise,' she said, 'Did you have to make the promise too?' It was then that she explained the vision on my fourteenth name day."

If Mother prayed at Shard's altar, was it Shard that answered or did she act on one of Tenebrae's children's behalf? Did Shard know about this? Is Shard the one that holds Mother's-right over me? So many questions that I'd have to ask Shard about. Out of all the things that confused me though, one thing stood out.

"What do you mean Grandmother arranged yours and Father's marriage?" I asked

Mother looked a little guilty for some reason, "Well, arranged marriages are almost completely unheard of in Carn, but where we came from they were very commonplace. Two parents get together and arrange for their children to marry, money or goods are sometimes exchanged. It's a way to elevate a family up _Arithna_."

"What?" Illith asked.

I immediately followed with "We're not from Carn?"

"Your Father is, his family have always been in Easthaven," Mother said, looking worried, "and he and his family have always been under the impression that we're from Hillwaeholm. But, Hillwaeholm was merely the first town we stopped in on our way to Easthaven from Allarth."

"So we're Allarthian?" Illith asked.

Mother looked towards the door and shushed us quietly, "well, that's complicated. According to Allarthian society you would be Allarthian because our lineage is tracked from Mother to child. It makes sense really, as the Mother is the only person you can be sure the child came from. Carnians however, track lineage down from the Fathers. It's very silly and doesn't make sense at all."

Something didn't make sense and it took a moment for me to put my finger on it, "but Mother?" I asked, "You said that Grandmother prayed at that altar? How did she pray at that altar when you were from Allarth?"

"Oh… well, not that particular altar. But there was one just like it near our village back in Allarth," Mother replied, "When we needed to flee our village, Mother refused to leave until she prayed. She disappeared that night and when she returned the next day, she said that she knew where we needed to go… Here."

"There was another altar," I began and Mother nodded, "exactly the same?" Another nod, "in Allarth?"

"Yes. My Mother prayed at that altar and the masked god appeared and told her to come to Easthaven in Carn." Mother explained, "He showed her exactly where the other altar was, turned her into a bird and flew with her all the way from Allarth to Easthaven and then out here to the forest."

"Mother?" Illith asked and Mother turned to her, "why did you need to flee your village?"

"Oh." Mother said under her breath, she blushed a little and looked even more guilty than earlier, "when I said that I complied with your Grandmother's Mother's-right unhappily, I may have underexaggerated. I ran away from home."

"What?" Illith and I both exclaimed. Mother shushed us both again.

"You have to understand that your Father knows none of this," she said to us both, "nothing at all. Just as I will keep both of your secrets from him until such a time as you want him to know, you must keep this secret for me."

Illith and I looked at each other and then simultaneously looked back to Mother and nodded our agreement.

"I was unhappy, not only that Mother forbade me from pursuing the person that I was attracted to, but also that she could not tell me who I could make eyes at." Mother began, "So… I ran away, to the Capital of Allarth: Milne. I didn't have any money nor know anybody there. I was fourteen and alone. Purely by happenstance I came across another girl about my age and made friends with her. She introduced me to her friends and then, after a few days she introduced me to The Family'."

"Her family?" Illith asked.

"No," Mother continued, "'The Family', the Allarthian Thieves Guild. I ran around with them for about two years until I did something stupid that meant that I had to flee. Not just me, they would have come after my entire family. When I confessed to Mother and told her that we all had to run away from Allarth, to go somewhere else she simply told me 'Tomorrow, I'll know where to go tomorrow'."

"What did you do?" I asked, very much surprised at Mother's revelation (In fact, all of Mother's revelations, it would likely take me days to process everything she was telling us).

Mother chuckled wryly, blushed and looked at me with an odd smile, an unusual expression for Mother that made her look ten years younger, "I stole King Brandewyn's crown."

"You stole what?!" Illith exclaimed, marginally beating me to saying exactly the same thing.

"I stole," she said slowly, "the crown of the King of Allarth; King Brandewyn, from his Castle in Milne."

I just blinked at her and she preempted the 'why' I was about to ask, "It seemed like a good idea at the time. In hindsight, though, I probably shouldn't have done it. Because if he ever finds out that I'm here, he _will_ send assassins here to kill me, your Father and _all_ of you kids. Do you understand?"

We both nodded, mutely. Wow. I never expected to wake up that day to discover all of those things about my Mother that I absolutely never had any inkling about.

"Good, because…" Mother began to say, but stopped when we heard the front door bang.

"Sharein!" I heard Father call out from the front of the house, "everybody is here, are you ready?"

"Just a moment Father!" I yelled back to him.

"Oh poo!" Mother said and instructed, "hurry and get dressed."

While I got out of my nightclothes and put on my trousers and tunic Mother got up quickly and disappeared out the door. She returned just as I finished tying my hair up, carrying a belt and a sword in a black leather sheath. She approached me and wrapped the belt around my waist so that the sword rested on my left hip. She drew it from the sheath and handed it to me. It was a short sword, with a blade about two and a half feet long and one and a half inches wide. It was made from some sort of black metal and had a guard that extended out from the blade like two raven's wings one side connecting with a straight guard that came out only on that side. The grip was wrapped with black leather strips. I knew nothing about swords, but this one looked very well made.

"I don't know who will be able to teach you to use this around Easthaven, except for me of course. For obvious reasons I can't though." Mother said, "Even if there is no danger to you from being attacked by kobolds now; I can't let you go out there unarmed, even if you do have your magic."

"Thank you Mother!" I exclaimed, giving her a tight hug.

"Go on," she said, breaking the hug and giving me a swat on the backside, "and you'd better practice your innocent act because although you might fool your Father and most of the rest of the fools from town, you won't for a second trick your Master."

"Yes Mother," I said with a smile as we headed out to the front of the house.

What greeted me there was an interesting sight: Father and a mob of men from Easthaven all carrying an assortment of farm tools repurposed into weapons. Malkarov stood amongst them and immediately looked at me with suspicion. I hadn't even said anything!

"What is this?" Father exclaimed, gesturing at the sword resting at my side, "Where did that come from?"

"My Grandfather's," Mother responded quickly and convincingly, but something told me that it was actually hers, "I had hoped that none of our children would have such a need for it for me to pass onto them, but here we are."

"Well, we'd best be off," Master Jorganshard said gruffly, "we've wasted enough time as is."

AUTHORS NOTE:

Archer1eye - I told you there was an angry mob!

Side Note: That's 100k+ words! Yippee!


	44. Chapter 43

AUTHORS NOTES:

Slyksylva - Ooh, question time?

Archer1eye - THANK YOU for the review! Hopefully a chapter that will clear up... nothing! Mwahahahaha. *But* a little more magic/worldbuilding

 ****

 **Chapter 43**

30th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

The group of twenty three retraced my path from last night, all of us trooping through the forest to the clearing and then out towards the kobold's hill. The grassy area out the front of our farm looked like the farmer's common on a tenday, with carts and horses everywhere. Malkarov and I were at the head of the group, walking about twenty feet forward of the main party.

"Firstly, It's because I've already been out here so I know where I'm going," he explained as we walked to my unvoiced question, "and secondly because we are both able to cast _Invisibility_ in case we come across any kobold guards. We have already planned for the main group to hide should they see me… or not see me as the case may be."

"That makes sense," I agreed, "do you expect there to be kobold guards, during the daytime?"

"Of course," he said, "just as the town has been placing guards of a nighttime since the kobold attack, the kobolds will likely be placing guards during the day," he gestured to my side, "may I see the blade that your Mother gifted you with?"

I drew the sword and started to hand it over to him, but he stopped me, "hilt first, you always hand a sword to someone hilt first to show that you mean them no harm."

"Oh!" I exclaimed, bringing the sword back towards myself and spinning it around, "just like a knife?"

He took the sword and held it appreciatively, "It's very well made."

He ran his hand along the flat of the blade as he spun the sword around to hand it back to me, did you cast _Detect Magic_ on it?" he asked.

I felt surprised, I hadn't even thought to, "Mother had only just given it to me before I came out of the house. Should I?"

"Give it a shot," he suggested, "try casting while walking."

I held the sword and cast _Detect Magic_ , almost tripping over my own feet in the process. The sword glowed vibrantly and runes all along its length became visible. Malkarov glowed quite brightly next to me with all of his enchanted clothing and jewelry. One more thing surprised me, with the scabbard that held the sword also glowing.

I looked at Malkarov who just smiled at me, "I thought so," he said.

"Not just the sword, but the scabbard also!" I said excitedly.

"Likely a sharpening or cleaning enchantment, probably an apprentice-work piece," Malkarov told me, "both are very common for scabbards. It might prove useful to study the rune schemes used to see if they are similar to the standard ones used. We will finish off the last of the runes this tenday and we can start studying some rune schemes! There are a great many apprentice-work magical items out there, this ring for instance," he said, holding up his left hand and pointing to a plain silver band on his middle finger that was still glowing to my enchanted sight, "was my own apprentice-work. Quite a clever bit of work, even if I do say so myself. It's a more simple variation of a _Detect Magic_ rune scheme, if I touch the ring to an enchantment rune then the ring will vibrate a little. But it only works if it physically touches a rune, it didn't activate when I held the hilt but did when I touched the blade."

"I'll be able to make something like that?" I asked eagerly, I liked the idea of making my own magical items.

"Certainly!" He said, "it's a part of every apprentices education, even apprentices with an affinity for Elementalism would make a basic apprentice-work item. I made this ring during my apprenticeship and I made these shoes when I petitioned to continue my studies with a Master Enchanter."

"What do your shoes do?" I asked.

He grinned at me, a very wide smile and stopped to point behind us, "see? No footprints!"

Indeed, trailing behind us I could only see my own footprints in the dirt track.

"That's incredible!" I exclaimed.

I looked over to Malkarov as we got closer to the kobold's hill, wondering when he was going to halt the group. He did moments later, stopping and holding up his hand with his fingers together to indicate 'stop'. The group of townsfolk slowly made their way up to us. They spread out in a semi circle around us. It was a wide assortment of ages, ranging from fourteen year old apprentice clayworker Wil Craddock to his fifty-five year old farmer grandfather Tarvid Dorrigan.

"We are almost at the clearing," Malkarov explained, "ahead is the hill with a cave entrance on this side. I'll make myself invisible and go to investigate then I'll return here and let everyone know what I've seen."

I felt Malkarov cast his _Invisibility_ spell and he disappeared from in front of us. Some of the townsfolk (Wil especially) reacted with shock, one of them even made a warding sign that was definitely not taught by Father Mattias. I waited patiently, unconcerned by the forest denizens and comfortable in my knowledge that there wouldn't be any kobolds nearby to ambush us. Many of the townsfolk turned around to look out into the forest, weapons ready as they were nervous and jumped at every sound. Eventually I heard an out of place noise, the click of a twig snapping or a branch rubbed against. I looked straight at the path ahead where the noise came from but could not determine it's source. I frowned and cast _See Invisibility_ and Malkarov suddenly appeared right where I was looking, he was studying me thoughtfully and I immediately knew his suspicions. I cocked my head, looked at him in the eyes and he realised that I knew he was there.

I didn't dispel _See Invisibility_ , but I could tell when he dispelled his _Invisibility_ from the gasps of surprise behind me. Shuffling behind indicated that everybody had moved back into a huddle again but I watched Malkarov as he strode towards us, his eyes boring into mine.

"It looks like the kobolds might have rebelled against their leader," he said once he came up next to me and I turned around to face everyone, "a large kobold with more intricate markings than the usual ones is lying dead in front of the cave. The entire tribe of kobolds appear to have gone."

Most of the townsfolk were elated at the noise, but one or two of them seemed a little disappointed. Perhaps they were looking forward to revenge against those who had attacked them? We all strode out into the clearing that contained the kobold's hill, the townsfolk a lot less jumpy knowing that there were no kobolds nearby.

I was surprised that there was only one body and I wondered what happened to the other kobold. As much as it made me suspicious, I discounted it as good luck that a bear or some such must have come across an easy meal.

Malkarov and I stood out the front of the cave (coincidentally right at the spot I was standing last night when confronting the kobolds), some of the townspeople entered the cave to explore but it didn't interest me.

"If the kobolds have moved closer towards some of our towns, I shall have to notify the Baroness," Malkarov said to me.

"I think I saw some tracks leading southwards," I replied helpfully, "I daresay they will be way up in the mountains by now."

"Hmmmm," he mused, "tracks you say?"

"Yes," I answered, "it looks like the whole tribe packed up and walked that way," I said, pointing towards the path they used to flee.

"Well, that is good news," Malkarov said woodenly and I got the distinct impression that if a third person were nearby, they would see us both as untalented actors in a badly written play. I actually giggled a little out loud and Malkarov rolled his eyes at me.

"I would be very interested to know what happened here last night," he said, "perhaps we could puzzle out possibilities when we get back to the tower?"

"They went this way!" Came a shout from our right and we both turned to see Master Jorganshard pointing excitedly off towards the south, down the path the kobolds had fled.

People came out of the hill cave, Wil Craddock especially looked a bit dirty with mussed hair as if he had been crawling into a tight dirty space.

"Come on, let's follow them!" Master Jorganshard shouted, "Let's chase them down!"

Some looked to take him up on his encouragement, moving forward to join him.

"No!" Commanded Malkarov loudly, "they have fled! Late last night, mostly likely, and it is doubtful they will be back. Easthaven is safe, they will not bother us again. We should head back to town and inform the Mayor."

Master Jorganshard strode up angrily, shaking his mattock, "but we know which way they went! We can get them! We can make them pay!"

"You can go," Malkarov said, "I cannot stop you. But as for me; I am under command to make the town safe and safe it is... From this threat at least. I will do no more without command by the Mayor."

Master Jorganshard let out a frustrated roar, his face screwed up in fury and swung around to stomp back the way we came. Those townsfolk who had stepped forward to follow him nervously looked around and shuffled back to join the others who had stepped out of the cave.

"Well now everyone," Malkarov said a bit more calmly, "perhaps it's a good time to get back to our horses and back to Easthaven. We should be able to make it in time for Father Mattias' sermon, which I do not doubt will be a very apt one indeed."

As we slowly made our way back to the path to Shard's clearing we heard a scream of anger and fear from ahead. I ran towards it, heedless of Malkarov's presence or ensuring that the townspeople followed. The scene that greeted me when I burst through a copse into a grassy glade was a bit of a surprise. Master Jorganshard was on his knees, clutching a bleeding arm close to his chest, mattock forgotten on the grass nearby. Next to the weapon was the body of a giant warg, it's head caved in. Four other wargs were spread out in front of him, all growling and one with bloodied teeth. Their growls ended simultaneously with my arrival in front of them and their terrifying sounds turned into _terrified_ sounds. With pained yowls and widened eyes they turned tail and fled as fast as they could into the forest.

I ran up to Master Jorganshard even as Malkarov burst through behind me.

He took a look at the sight before him and ran up to Master Jorganshard, withdrawing a strip of cloth from a pocket of his robe. He quickly and efficiently wrapped it around the wound. From another pocket, he withdrew a potion bottle which he held to Master Jorganshard's lips.

"Drink," he ordered, and Master Jorganshard drank. Instantly he relaxed and the pained look disappeared from his face to be replaced by one of wonderment.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Sister Tera gave me a potion of healing before we left," Malkarov told him, "she didn't wish to come herself, but could not in good conscience leave everyone without assistance."

"What happened here?" he asked me.

Before I could come up with a reasonable explanation, Master Jorganshard spoke up, "I came in here to let out my frustrations, but I surprised a group of five wargs. I managed to kill one of them but one of the others bit me on the arm. I punched it in the head and it let go, but they were ready to close in for the kill. Just then, Sharein burst through behind me and used her magic to scare them all off!"

The townsfolk that had followed Malkarov heard Master Jorganshard's story and all murmured appreciatively.

"Well now!" Malkarov said, "Good work Apprentice Sharein! It's good to hear you using the magic that I'm teaching you for the benefit of the community!" The exaggeration he placed on the words left no doubt in my mind that he, unlike the townspeople, did not entirely believe the farmer's story. With no wonder! What sort of spell had Malkarov taught me that could possibly have made four wargs run away from me in fear with their tails between their legs?


	45. Chapter 44

AUTHORS NOTES:

Archer1eye AND Slyksylva: Thank you so much for your continued reviews! I write depending upon work. I've had a couple of days where I haven't had much work to perform, so have had plenty of time to sit at a computer and type... plus the ideas keep flowing. Annual leave starts next week, so chapter posting might slow down a bit.

Drouppi: Welcome back! Thanks for the PM!

and... on with the story:

 **Chapter 44**

30th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

We left Master Jorganshard's arm bandaged, in case there was damage to his bone that the potion didn't heal. Malkarov, Master Jorganshard and I went over to look at the warg. If the dire wolves that attacked me near Shard's clearing were a wolf's bigger cousin then a warg was a dire-wolves much bigger cousin. It's fur was pitch black and it's eye would have been bright red, if the farmer's blow with the mattock hadn't caught it right in the side of it's skull. Master Jorganshard took up a knife to skin the warg there and then as the horse sized wolf-like creature was too heavy to carry anywhere.

"Normally I'd tell you to be careful of those claws," Malkarov said, "but you are going to have to suffer through Sister Tera's cure for disease anyway."

He turned to me, "Why do you think the wargs attacked Master Jorganshard so close to so many of us?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, "he was by himself, away from the group. Wouldn't he have made a good target for a group of predators?"

"Wargs are more intelligent than normal animals and very cunning," he explained, "If they killed Master Jorganshard silently, they would still have had to drag his body away lest they be discovered by us. Judging by the size of that one, they are not so starving that they are risking confrontation with so many of us to survive."

"Why then, would they attack?" I asked.

Malkarov held up one finger and then crooked it in a 'follow me' gesture. He turned to the mob of men and told them, "Stay here, we will be back shortly."

I followed him down the trail that the wargs had fled. It was only a short distance before we came across another clearing, but the worn path continued along the edge of it and down into a drop.

"Invisibility," he whispered and we both cast the _Invisibility_ and _See Invisibility_ spells.

We continued quietly along the path, which curved down along a cliff side and into a large cave protected by a rocky overhang. The cave did not go back very far, but was dark.

"Dancing lights?" I whispered to Malkarov, but we both stopped suddenly at a noise from inside the cave. A rustling sound was followed by a high pitched animal noise.

Malkarov put his finger over his mouth in a 'quiet' gesture then touched his eyes and pointed into the cave. It took a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but once they did I was able to make out movement and then discern exactly what it was: a litter of warg pups.

Each of the pups was as big as a full grown dog, but rolling over each other with the awkwardness of a new-born.

They looked so cute! I looked up at Malkarov pleadingly, but he just smiled and shook his head.

He touched me lightly on the shoulder and gestured back the way we came. Silently we made our way through the clearing.

"Best to dispel our _Invisibility,_ " he said and we both did, "as cute as they look now, very soon warg puppies will grow into fully grown wargs and those creatures are not easy to tame and prone to attack anything at any time, even their masters. Now we know why they attacked at least, I'm a little surprised that they did not come back to the cave to protect the pups but you must have scared them enough to keep them running. Which spell did you use?"

"Master Jorganshard was mistaken," I confessed, "I didn't use a spell at all. They just ran away. The animals in this forest won't attack me."

"What do you mean they won't attack you?" he asked.

"I can't tell you exactly why," I said carefully, "but you could call it a divine blessing, maybe?"

"From Mithras?" he asked and I shook my head 'no.'

"What do you know of the other gods Sharein?" he queried and continued quickly, "I only ask because I know the usual upbringing in Easthaven and it doesn't include anything other than praising Celestine and venerating Mithras."

"I've spoken to Luna twice," I told him evasively, "and to one or two of the other gods."

"That's interesting," he mused, "Alladrial venerates Kalaa'alarana, the Elvish Goddess of the Moon above all others," then continued to explain in his lecturing manner, "the Elves are different from us in that they venerate all of their gods and goddess' to a degree but always have one above all others. Of course, the Allarthians also venerate a variety of deities as do most other races. Carn is unique in it's praise for a single deity."

We reached the other clearing then and discovered that Master Jorganshard had completed his task and was waiting with the bloody fur all rolled and tied up ready for processing by Master Hilval the local leatherworker, or possibly by Missus Jorganshard who was a deft hand at dressing a fur.

"Ready to go?" Malkarov asked and everybody answered in the affirmative.

We trouped back through the forest a slightly less angry mob, the emotional heat extinguished but the trepidation and wariness of being in the forest still remained. Most of the Easthavians remained on guard, jumping at any noise, no longer worried about kobold ambushes but instead now worried that the horse sized wolves would come back. Malkarov walked confidently in his own powers however and as for me; I almost felt like skipping. The threat of the kobolds was gone, none of the townsfolk were aware that I was their saviour and Malkarov didn't seem _too_ unhappy with me.

We walked through Shard's clearing, but I didn't stop to speak with her even though I very much wanted to, I couldn't think of a way of doing so without arousing suspicion. When we got back to the farm everyone came out to greet us.

"How did it go?" Father asked straight away, Mother followed carrying two jugs and my siblings were carrying mugs stacked up.

"It looks like the kobolds had rebelled against their leader and fled away to the south," Malkarov said, "I don't think that they will be bothering us again."

The jugs that Mother carried contained barley water that she had made and every member of the group eagerly took a mug and drank it eagerly and with much thanks. Illith handed me my pack that I had left in my room.

"They rebelled against their leader then?" Mother asked fairly quietly when she handed me a mug of barley water. Everybody else was distracted by Master Jorganshard, who had rolled out the warg skin and was happily showing it off and telling the story of how he came by it.

"Yes," I told her, "it looks like they killed him, then packed up and left."

"Just the leader?" Mother asked.

"Yes," I told her, "Malkarov went to investigate while using the _invisibility_ spell and returned to tell us what he had seen."

"Everything is okay?" Mother asked and I nodded.

"Yes," I told her, "I think everything is okay now."

Father and Jocam had already brought out Aloise-horse and the cart out and the Meadowbroeks were in sight.

"Wizard Malkarov?" Mother asked, "Would you and Sharein like to ride with us back to Easthaven?"

"That's very kind of you Missus Askilain," Malkarov replied, "but I think it best if Sharein and I take a quicker path so that I may inform Mayor Crownever of what we discovered before the church service begins."

Malkarov cast a _Teleport_ spell and we stepped straight out of the rune circle on the wall of his quarters.

"First things first," he said once we both had our feet, "I'm going to go and tell the Mayor about what has transpired, or at least what I told everybody," he added with a grin, "would you be so kind as to let Father Mattias know that that everybody is on their way for his service at the usual time?"

"Of course," I told him, then ventured, "you're not angry with me then?"

"I don't know if there is anything that I should be angry about," he laughed, "yet."

We both headed out and parted ways at the crossroad with Malkarov going across the river into the town while I continued straight on to the church.

When I got there, I went straight in and called out "Father?"

Sister Tera popped her head out of her quarters, "You're all back Sharein?"

"Just Malkarov and I for the moment, but everybody is on their way," I told her.

"Is everybody all right?" she asked.

"The kobolds had already left by the time we got there," I told her, "but Master Jorganshard was bitten on the arm by a warg. Malkarov bandaged him up and fed him a healing potion but he said you will probably need to c…"

"Cure disease," she finished for me, more to herself, "warg bites and claws are notoriously nasty for a disease that infects the blood." She popped her head back behind her door but then popped out again a moment later only to say "Just knock loudly on the Father's door, dear."

"Thank you, Sister," I said, but she had already closed the door.

I did as instructed and Father Mattias opened the door momentarily.

"Sharein my dear, I've missed you at the past few services!" he said, not seeming at all unhappy, "did everything go alright today?"

"I'm so sorry Father," I apologised, "I…" he held up his hand to stop me and waved me in to sit in a comfortable arm chair opposite his in a sitting room.

"No need to apologise my dear," he said to me, "you've spoken to Malkarov about it?" He asked and I nodded, then he continued, "and it's for a similar reason that he no longer attends?"

"Partly Father," I responded.

He nodded sadly, "Is there anything you want to ask?"

I nodded and then asked him "Father, how come people like… us, aren't accepted?"

He sighed loudly, "Long ago, a particular High Priest of Mithras declared that we weren't natural, because we could not produce offspring. The creation of life is an important tenet to the faith."

"But… how?" I asked, "If Mithras didn't approve of you as you are, then how can you be a priest?"

"Well, that's a very good question isn't it? It's a question I've long struggled with," he explained, "Mithras must approve, but it's written in The Book and declared by the High Priest. You recall that the first part of The Book contains the instructions granted by Mithras to her clergy, but the rest of The Book are the instructions by the High Priests since the very first?"

I nodded, "But, if the High Priest went against the will of Mithras, wouldn't he be severed?"

Father Mattias stood stock still, looking at me through shrewd eyes, "Have you been speaking with Malkarov about this?"

"No Father," I replied, shaking my head.

"Have you read about it in one of his books?" He demanded.

"No Father," I answered truthfully.

"Then where, child, did you learn about severing?" He asked, not quite angrily but not in his usual friendly tone.

"I… I can't tell you," I stammered and looked away from him, feeling a little guilty that I couldn't tell him.

He hummed in thought, then spoke in his usual friendly manner, "The High Priest of Mithras is not like a regular priest, he is specially chosen by the Goddess to do her will. As such, they are not severed if they stray. There are others that are specially chosen, but the High Priest is always one such."

That made sense, but was obviously not a fool proof method for ensuring that the Church continues to abide by the will of Mithras forever.

"Why have no other High Priests removed those sections from The Book?" I asked.

"Ah," he exclaimed, "once it is written in The Book it is the will of Mithras and as such can never be removed. Not even by a High Priest."

That seemed very… silly.

"It seems we've been distracted," Father Mattias said, bringing me out of my thoughts, "how did it go today?"

"Yes, Father, sorry Father," I apologised, "Malkarov sent me here to tell you that the townsfolk who went after the kobolds are on their way back from my family's farm as we speak and should arrive in time for your usual service."

"Good, good," the Father said, "but how did it go?"

I recounted to him the "official" story and he seemed very happy at the news that the kobolds had just 'decided' to leave.

"I know just the sermon to help them manage their feeling of anger and their desire for revenge!" he exclaimed, "if you don't mind my child, I'll have to prepare," he added as he escorted me out.

Once out I walked back to Malkarov's tower and cast _Knock_ to let myself back in, climbed the stairs and decided to wait in one of the comfy chairs on the ground floor for Malkarov's return.

I had not long sat there before I decided to rest my eyes and didn't know any more until much later.


	46. Chapter 45

AUTHORS NOTES:

Archer1eye - Could Shard tame a warg? Perhaps, possibly likely, but they make terrible pets. Shard would more likely wake up to the warg chewing her arm off than piddling on the carpet. Her blessing only affects the creatures native to that forest (and not exactly ALL of the creatures), there will be many many random encounters in the future. Oooh... Shard CAN manage a physical form (she does so for Sharein, after all)

Drouppi - Deduction my dear Watson. He didn't know that there *were* pups as such, nor exactly where they were, but deduced that they would run back that way and there must have been something to have encouraged their actions... he simply followed a fairly well worn path (track check passed!) Oooho... Wait for the end of the chapter to see Pandora!

Slyksylva - He's hard to fool that Malkarov, but also a manchild... what a weird combination.

 **Chapter 45**

30th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

Malkarov woke me about noon, I hadn't even woken when he returned and he must have let me sleep. It was a fitful sleep though and not very refreshing; full of vivid dreams of dead kobolds and a recreation of the events the previous night but with the chief's spear piercing me through the chest instead of bouncing away off my _Shield_. Malkarov woke me just as I had collapsed onto my knees in agony, the scaly devil's tooth filled maw about to bite my face.

"Oh!" I exclaimed when I opened my eyes, relieved to see his face right there in front of mine, "I'm so sorry, I must have fallen asleep!"

"That's alright Sharein," he said with a smile, "something tells me that you were up quite late last night. Would you like to freshen up and then bring down a couple of hot drinks?"

"Of course!" I said, hopping up out of the seat and heading upstairs to use my in-house. I set off some water into the bath and splashed my face to wake me up a little more and clean the gunk from my eyes. Once I felt a little better I went up to the kitchen to make two mugs using Malkarov's favourite herb blend, I brought them back down and handed one to Malkarov then sat down back into my arm chair.

"Thank you Sharein," Malkarov said and then began, "right then. Why don't you tell me what you got up to last night?"

I blushed a little and the feeling of guilt returned, but I launched into a recounting of the events of the previous night (excluding of course any reference to Shard). Malkarov nodded in a self-satisfied way when I told him about using _Elemental Bolt_ to kill the first kobold warrior.

"I remembered the way the other kobolds looked when I saw that body," he interrupted, "that's how I knew you were responsible."

"But," I said confused, "what happened to the other kobold then. The chief was the only one there?"

"I picked it up and dragged it into the forest a little ways," he replied, "I just hoped that the townspeople wouldn't go looking too far. Continue though, I'd like to know what happened after that."

I continued my story and stopped it just prior to my discovery of Illith.

"Well then," Malkarov said, then asked, "would you have done anything differently?"

I thought about it for a moment, "No, I don't think I would have. Everything seemed to work out, perhaps if I had scared them enough they might have fled but I get the feeling that the kobold leader might have been acting to ensure it's control over the tribe."

"Good, good," Malkarov nodded, "it's important to go over the way you handled situations and think about how you might have improved the outcome, it ensures that you know better next time you are put into a similar situation. Now, why did you do it and should you have?"

"What do you mean should I have?" I asked.

"You are always put into situations where you _can_ do something. Where you _can_ fix a problem, especially when you have access to the magic that we have, but the question most everybody seems to forget about before the doing is ' _should_ I do this?'" Malkarov explained, "just because you _can_ do something doesn't necessarily mean that you _should_ do something."

I thought about that for a moment before saying, "just because I _can_ use magic to fetch things for me instead of standing up and getting it myself doesn't mean that I _should_?"

"Exactly!" Malkarov exclaimed, "but why?"

"If I use magic to do everything for me then I might exhaust myself?" I posited.

"Yes, that's true," Malkarov agreed, "or you might get close to exhaustion and something will happen that will require the use of more magic? If you merely summoned everything to you, you might get quite a bit larger and get out of shape, without the movement you might get short on breath after a short walk?"

"Okay," I said, with a better understanding, "well then. _Why_ I did it was that I couldn't let the people of Easthaven kill all of those innocent female kobolds and the young ones. The children in town didn't have a say in the vote to attack the kobolds and there were very few women present at the meeting, maybe those kobold young and females didn't have a voice in their attack on our town?"

"Yes," Malkarov said, nodding, "I agree. I said much the same in the meeting and your reaction made me wonder even then if you might not take matters into your own hands. Now… _should_ you have done so?"

"If I didn't do it, then the townspeople might have murdered all of the kobolds," I suggested, "one or two of them might have been injured or even killed in the attack?"

"What about the kobolds?" He asked, "what do you know of them?"

"Some might have fled?" I suggested and he nodded for me to continue, "they might have found other kobolds and brought them back to get revenge?"

"Yes, yes," he exclaimed excitedly, "a never ending circle of hatred. They attack us because we attack them because they attack us because we attack them," he repeated drawing a circle in the air with his finger pausing at the top of bottom with each 'us' and 'them'.

"It's better to put a stop to that sooner rather than later," he continued, "of course with some races like orcs or goblins there is often a bloodlust there and a desire to kill that overrides any sensible resolution and they must be attacked straight away, without hesitation."

I nodded in understanding.

"All right then," he said, "why don't we walk down to the Pig and Wheelbarrow to see if Missus Rose has anything good for lunch?"

"That sounds like a fantastic idea," I replied and both stood up to return our mugs to the kitchen and then to head out to the Inn.

On the way, once we had crossed over the bridge I spotted a small blackbird that had been killed, resting on the ground next to the path. In my mind flashed the body of the kobold that I had killed with _Elemental Bolt_ and the bodies of the kobolds that I had killed during the attack on the village and the bodies of the kobolds that I'd killed during the raid on our farm. All of them, all of the death, all of the dead. I blinked to get rid of them, to force my mind onto something else but it didn't work.

It had worked all of the other times before, when something made me randomly think of the lives that I had taken, "why doesn't it now?" I whispered to myself.

"Sharein?" I heard Malkarov shout but I didn't look up as I was suddenly distracted by the salty taste in my mouth.

'What was that?' I thought, 'tears?'

My vision went dark and I realised with a start that Malkarov had taken me up in a hug and I was sobbing into his shoulder. The visions of kobolds had receded and I could feel more clearly once again.

"There there," I heard Malkarov say, and could feel him rubbing my back gently.

I lifted my head, "I'm sorry," I apologised.

Malkarov let me go and handed me a handkerchief to clean my face on, which I gratefully accepted and used.

"There's nothing to apologise for," Malkarov said, "what was wrong though?"

"I was just thinking about all of the kobolds that I'd killed and how I killed them," I explained, "I don't even know why… I mean, I saw the dead bird down here…" I pointed to the blackbird beside the bath, "and it all just came up."

"Ah," he sagely replied, "it happened to me also once, after I helped track down some bandits that were praying on travellers."

"But why?" I asked.

"It's too much, too quickly," he explained, "we know that it's wrong to kill people, but what about when the people need killing? It takes a lot to override that restriction inside of us to do something that we know we shouldn't. We don't feel it for animals and I've never felt it for kobolds, goblins or orcs to be honest. But for you, it's your first time and at a guess I'd say that you just haven't been thinking about it?"

"Pretty much," I said, "I've been occasionally thinking about it, but I've made myself think of something else by blinking away the visions."

"You've probably been treating killing kobolds like killing animals," he explained, "we generally don't feel bad about killing a lamb or a chicken for instance, but with the way you interacted with that kobold child last night I guess that you are starting to see them more like people?"

I nodded sadly, "How do I go on, how can I keep doing this?"

He sighed, "You just need to put it behind you and continue on, that's all there is to it. You will likely see some truly horrible things in this world, things that will keep you awake for nights on end… But you will be able to put it behind you, you will because you must, because there is no other option. Eventually, you sleep again. But it's important to know that it's normal, completely. If you didn't feel anything, then I might worry. I've known one person like that, an assassin who could sneak into an enemy camp and kill indiscriminately. Human or orc, it didn't matter to them. We spoke quite frankly one night about this sort of thing and they disclosed to me that they were aware that they were different from everybody else, that they knew there was something broken inside of them. They just didn't feel... at all."

"Why do you keep calling them; _they_?" I asked, confused.

Malkarov laughed, "That's what they asked me to refer to them as. As an assassin they would dress as a man or as a woman to infiltrate the place where their target was and one day I asked them exactly what they were; a man or a woman? They said that they were born a woman, but never felt any attachment to being a woman, or a man. They said that they were neither, which made them a perfect assassin. I asked them if all assassins were the same and they laughed at me, 'No, just me.' they said."

"Are there many assassins?" I asked.

"The Druaga-darg, the Brotherhood of Druaga, the Allarthian God of Death," Malkarov explained, "are the guild that they belong to. I don't know how many assassins there are, but you can take out a contract with them or you can pay them a large sum for a hire for a period of time. This one, the Baron had hired them to take out a number of enemies including a bandit lord and some orc warriors."

We were interrupted by Father Mattias and Sister Tera walking over the bridge.

"Malkarov and Sharein!" He called cheerfully when he saw us, "How good to see you both. Sister Tera and I were just heading over to the Pig and Wheelbarrow for some lunch, would you care to join us?"

Malkarov looked to me, silently asking a question that I assumed to be "are you alright with that?" I nodded in return.

"Of course!" Malkarov exclaimed, "We would love to have lunch with you both."

And so we continued our eventful journey towards lunch accompanied by the Priest and Priestess of Mithras.


	47. Chapter 46

Authors Notes:

Sorry all, updates will be a bit slower than usual. I'm on annual leave at the moment for four weeks and real life intrudes (as does Elder Scrolls Online and Log Horizon).

Just a very quick, small chapter to let you all know that I haven't given up or anything!

As always: Thanks SO SO much to my reviewers, favouriters and followers!  
It does mean so much to me! No specific replies to reviews today, as it's now past midnight and I have a toddler due to wake me in… not many hours :(

 **Chapter 46**

30th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

Malkarov and I entered the Pig and Wheelbarrow first and were greeted by Missus Rose.

When she saw Father Mattias and Sister Tera come in behind us she greeted them and then questioned Malkarov, "It's not a nine day or are you making up for missing yestereve? Would you like the usual room?"

I looked at him questioningly, but he just nodded to her, "Please, if you would be so kind."

Missus Rose escorted us up to one of her private meeting rooms on the second floor. Having never had a reason to stay in the Pig and Wheelbarrow, nor really set foot into the establishment prior to taking up my apprenticeship with Malkarov, I hadn't ever seen them first hand but had heard of their existence.

"Father Mattias, Sister Tera and I meet here for dinner every nine day, usually," Malkarov explained to me as we went up the stairs.

Once Missus Rose had escorted us into the room, I saw that it was decorated with utilitarian furniture and two paintings. One of the paintings depicted the town of Easthaven from a direction and height that could be nothing other than from the roof of Malkarov's tower. The other painting was of a waterfall, running over a stone cliff. The room was nice and warm, and smelled of the freshly picked spring flowers that decorated a vase on a buffet hutch.

Malkarov, Sister Tera and Father Mattias sat down automatically in what I supposed were 'their' chairs at the table. I followed their lead and sat down next to Malkarov.

"Something for lunch and the usual?" Missus Rose asked.

"Please," Father Mattias replied and directed everyone's attention to me, "ale or wine Sharein? I suppose that Malkarov has been making you drink nothing but ale, while I prefer a nice red wine and Sister Tera prefers a sweeter white. "

Malkarov blustered good naturedly at the jibe as I replied, "I confess that I have drunk more ale as Malkarov's apprentice than I had ever had previously, but have found that I quite enjoy the taste," I looked at Missus Rose, "an ale for me, if I may."

Missus Rose winked at me conspiratorially and left with a strange smile, an action which Malkarov completely missed but which was noticed by the two clerics.

Father Mattias raised an eyebrow at me and I responded in kind.

Father Mattias deferred but Sister Tera spoke up, "Missus Rose seems exceedingly pleased that you and Malkarov share a liking for ales."

I blushed a little and listened carefully to see if I could still hear the sound of Missus Roses'

boots on the steps outside.

I spoke quietly "Missus Rose said to me once, that she believes that Malkarov 'needs a wife' and suggested that perhaps that 'one must be a wizard to marry a wizard' is the reason why he has never made eyes at any of the girls or women in town."

Malkarov was staring at me wide eyed while the two priests started cackling, this made Malkarov snicker a bit.

"I confess, that I completely missed what she was suggesting at the time and was much preoccupied with my own worries that a wizard could only marry a wizard," I continued, this revelation renewed their lagging laughter and caused my cheeks to burn red.

Once their laughter calmed down a little, Sister Tera asked, "what did you think when you realised what she was suggesting?"

I sighed, "It wasn't until Missus Rose first saw me in trousers that she commented that 'You'll never catch the heart of the wizard dressing like that!' that I realised what she was saying. I confess that my first thought was that I might have more luck in trousers than a dress."

This made everyone at the table laugh uproariously, Father Mattias most of all.

"I must say Sharein," Sister Tera confided, once she had dabbed the tears from her eyes with a handkerchief, "you do look rather fetching in trousers. These robes," she said, indicating her shapeless white woolen robes, "do not show anything of my figure."

She sighed wistfully, "but then, who would I show that figure to?"

"I could always see what Amaldra is doing at the moment?" Malkarov suggested and I had the distinct pleasure of watching the usually stoic and unflappable priestess blush like a young girl.

"I do not understand why you persist," she said to the wizard a little crossly, "you know as well as I that the last time she was in Easthaven I worked up the courage to ask her here to share a bottle of wine with me. She was pleasurable company indeed, but it was only a friendly outing to her."

"You two are a hopeless case," Malkarov said, "I know for a fact where your interests lie and I'm mostly certain that her's are in the same… direction."

"I think you need must face facts Malkarov," said Father Matias, "that you might need to find a new quarry?"

Malkarov laughed once and looked slyly across at the old priest, "I did tell you about that acquaintance of Alladrial's didn't I? That priest of Alii'alarana?"

Father Matias made a warding gesture, "you know my vows Malkarov, I cannot be tempted so readily."

Malkarov chuckled next to me, "I know, I know. Such a silly promise to make."

"We all know where I stand on the rules as laid down," Father Matias replied, "but it was my promise to make and I did so honestly, regardless of it's warrant."

Missus Rose returned then, with our drinks. I had expected simply glasses and cups, but she brought with her two bottles of wine and a jug of ale along with the full glasses and cups.

"It's fried battered flatfish from the river today," Missus Rose informed us, "along with duck fat fried chipped potatoes and a servach salad."

"That sounds delicious, dearest Missus Rose!" Malkarov announced, "I await such a fine meal eagerly!"

Missus Rose was all blush and smiles as she left, closing the door behind her.

I looked at Malkarov and then pointedly at the bottled and jug and he smiled, "yes," he said, "this is what we get up to when you're not around."

"I didn't…" I began, but Father Matias waved away my denials, "I must say, Missus Rose keeps a tight lip about it, but if the rest of the townsfolk knew they would probably see us as somewhat more 'normal', more like them. It is helpful, for them to have the impression that we three… we four, are somewhat more. It lends an authority beyond that of the church, or magic."

I nodded, surprised that he would talk so bluntly and suddenly aware of how correct his statement was. I had always seen him, more so than Sister Tera, to be… not aloof, but apart from everyone else. He almost never came out to visit anyone and didn't really seem to have 'friends' as such. Sister Tera often left the church to perform her healing duties, but likewise she never seemed close to anyone else.

"I don't think that I could possibly break off my friendships with Mari, Beka or Brahdi." I said, worried that was what he was hinting at.

"Oh, no…" he said, "to begin with you are… merely an apprentice, but it will be something to consider when you move to your own town."

" _If_ you move to your own town," Malkarov corrected, "although Father Mattias hates the idea of one of his… children going out into the world as an adventurer, it is a perfectly valid use of your abilities. Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure we will support."

Although both Father Matias and Sister Tera nodded at this, I wondered how supporting they would be if they knew that I was fully committed to becoming a Chosen of Tenebrae?

"Of course," Father Matias said, "whatever you wish to do Sharein, we will assist in any way we are able… I just got the feeling that there might be something, or someone that might potentially keep you in Easthaven?"

"Oh?" asked Malkarov and I had three pairs of eyes eagerly looking at me, waiting for me to spill my romantic secrets to them.

"What…" I stuttered, all a-panic, I hadn't said anything and I didn't think that I had given anything away, "what makes you say that?"

"Nothing I can put in words," he said with a chuckle, "except your reaction just now. Don't worry, we won't push. Those of us without romantic lives of our own live for the stories of others, as much as it sometimes pains us."

We chatted about local matters after that, which mostly concerned the goings on of townspeople and news of the orc-wars. Mostly Malkarov and Father Mattias, at least. Sister Tera and I mostly listened and interjected occasionally (she more than I). Soon, lunch arrived and we all ate eagerly, washing down the delicious meal with our chosen beverages.

Once we had all finished lunch, we continued our discussions.

"Have you ventured out much?" Father Matias asked, "I recall that there are many components that you like to collect components in Early Spring."

"We had been," Malkarov replied, "but of course this tenday has been rather… busy with other things."

"Ah!" Father Matias exclaimed, "I had wondered whether you met the new Novice Sister Alia at the church in Sunhaven?"

"No," Malkarov replied, "we didn't visit the church."

"Oh," Father Matias said, sounding disappointed.

"Should we introduce ourselves to her?" I asked.

"If it suits," Father Matias said, "she joined the sisterhood for similar reasons to Sister Tera."

That sneaky old man!

"I thought you said that you wouldn't push?" I asked, much colder than I felt I would ever have dared before today. Maybe it was that I suddenly felt a part of their 'group', or that the pedestal I had put him on earlier was now gone. Either way, I seemed to have more confidence to treat him differently than I would have and It did actually shock me a little.

He threw up his hand, "I'm sorry," he said, "I did say that, didn't I. I just thought that it might have explained a few things."

I wondered for a brief moment what other things it might have explained, until I recalled our earlier conversation.

Before I could say anything, Malkarov asked, "what things?"

I tried to shoot the old priest a 'look', but he had turned his head to the wizard next to me.

When he opened his mouth, I briefly considered jumping across the table to cover it with my hands, "Why… Sharein's knowledge of severing."


	48. Chapter 47

AUTHORS NOTES: Surprise! I finished season 2 of Log Horizon and sacrificed some eso time to get these ideas down on 'paper'.

Slyksylva : You're very welcome 3

Archer1eye : I tend not to crash, so much... I sometimes get disheartened that my writing is of a much poorer quality than I wish it to be and occasionally real life intrudes so that my writing gets put on the back burner... or when I have a new idea I sometimes move onto that, just to get the ideas 'out'... the worst thing for me was Emi in Randland where I painted myself into a corner :/ I had *other* ideas wanting to get out, but I had no way out of the trap I had fallen into. Thankfully Sharein and Shard came as a 'distraction' that has continued quite well. Maybe, with this chapter and angry mob would potentially be the least of Sharein's worries now.

 **Chapter 47**

30th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

I fair near let out a growl, like some sort of wild beast.

Malkarov looked confused and asked, "what?" While Sister Tera looked at me in shock. Obviously severing wasn't something widely known outside the church, although I gathered that from Father Matias' original reaction.

"How did you?" Sister Tera began then continued, "Did your Mother tell you about that?"

"I told you," I said very coldly to Father Matias, "that I couldn't tell you about where I'd heard about it."

"What's severing?" Malkarov asked Father Matias and then turned to me, "Why can't you say?"

"Sharein," Sister Tera whispered, then touched her hair and looked at me questioningly. I knew her meaning immediately, as she was the only person to know about my swearing of an oath to protect Shard's identity (even if she only knew of the existence of the oath and not who it protected).

I nodded my head in response.

"Father, Malkarov," she spoke up quite sternly, "you shall drop this matter right now."

Father Matias swung around in shock, Malkarov looked rapidly between us.

"It is not a secret to poke and prod as the poking and prodding may cause damage," she said, and looked to me, "you are still in no danger?"

"No Sister," I replied, "quite the contrary."

She nodded and said to Malkarov, "to answer your first question as I shall provide no answers to the second; Severing is what happens to a priest when they violate their God's will. For a priest of Mithras in Carn, it would mean doing something that goes against the First Messages, the instructions from Mithras. If we sacrifice one of our people to save ourselves for instance, Mithras would sever the connection between us and her until such a time as we atoned for our transgression. It can be quite tricky for priests of other gods, I'm given to understanding. A priest of the Askaidian god of Lies for instance, might be severed if they were to tell the truth in such a way as their statement were intended to be believed. Askaidia must be a very interesting place to live."

My sharp intake of breath in shock at Sister Tera's acknowledgement of other gods was horribly audible and I blushed at the attention everybody directed at me.

Sister Tera let out a chuckle, "a bit strange to hear me talk of the other gods when we usually pretend that they don't exist?"

I nodded at her and Father Matias chuckled quietly.

She smiled, "It's not a popular subject to study and some would like to pretend to themselves that there are only Celestine and Mithras. But it can't be escaped; even when Father Matias quotes The Book and it's talk of the eternal fight against Darkness, he's talking about Tenebrae; the Goddess of Darkness."

Father Matias must have caught the widening of my eyes, or some other sign of recognition, "You've heard of Tenebrae, then?"

I nodded, slowly.

"Well then, I would advise most strongly not to mention that name anywhere in public," I nodded when he gave this advice, but he continued with a chilling warning, "the Inquisitors of Light, the sect of Celestine Priests who ruthlessly enforce their god's will do terrible, terrible things to 'root out the corruption of darkness.' We are devotees of Mithras, but our church in Carn is the only religion allowed to be openly practiced in Carn due to a long ago agreement between the King, the High Priest of Mithras and the Inquisitors of Light. Should I not quote verbatim, the battles between Celestine and 'darkness', there is a risk that somebody might report it to an Inquisitor. As Priest of Mithras, nothing much would happen to me, but I would lose the posting at Easthaven and a replacement would be sent out."

"So that's why your sermons are all wrong?" I blurted out before I could fully work through my thoughts, "They are biased by the Priests of Celestine?"

As soon as I said it I berated myself and questioned the wisdom of drinking more than my usual amount of ale.

Father Matias laughed quite loudly, "I suppose from some points of view they are quite wrong. Did you know that an ancient copy of The Book was found a few years back? It was destroyed as a heretical forgery."

"Destroyed?" asked Malkarov, extremely shocked. For someone with such a large collection of books, the destruction of any record must have been anathema.

"Yes," the old priest nodded solemnly, "I spoke to one of the priests who had found it and he disclosed to me that it was different."

"Different?" I asked.

"The First Messages and the earlier Second Messages were different from those recorded in our modern copies of The Book," he replied.

"Can't you just ask Mithras what she said originally?" I asked.

"No," he answered, "Mithras left us to follow her chosen ones, the High Priests. It is said in The Book that long ago she did communicate with her clergy directly, before her appointment of the High Priests to speak in her stead."

"That seems like a very silly way to do things, if only for the reasons we discussed earlier," I replied.

"Earlier?" Malkarov asked.

"The reason we got onto the topic to begin with," Father Matias explained, "Sharein pondered why the High Priest who declared our attractions to be abominations wasn't severed, if they acted against the will of Mithras. The problem is that the High Priest cannot be severed, they are appointed to speak with the voice of Mithras and anything they say is the will of the goddess, even if it isn't."

"That does seem very silly," Malkarov agreed, "does that mean Mithras made a wrong choice in her appointment of a High Priest?"

The older priest merely hummed, but Sister Tera let out a snort, "not just _a_ High Priest in my opinion. Maybe it was just a matter of the best of a bad bunch, but the _Earth Mother_ seemed to have made a few bad selections in the past."

Father Matias let out a chortle, "I've heard your opinions on Holy Father Everon time and time again and I don't disagree, but please don't raise your belief that he was in love with his own mother again."

"But he was!" she exclaimed loudly, "it's so obvious!"

We continued to discuss the variously notorious High Priests for most of the afternoon, with Missus Rose returning to replace our bottles and jugs a few times.

Sister Tera at one point shared some shocking news, shocking to Father Matias at least. Rumour had reached her that the Mother and Brother of the church in Hillvale were 'involved' with each other.

"Mother Sephrenia?" He asked and Sister Tera nodded, wide eyed, "and Brother Makus?"

"Uh huh," she confirmed.

"But he's..." he began and Sister Tera supplied, "twenty five."

"And she's…" he continued and Sister Tera once again supplied, "sixty two."

"Well," he said, musing, "I can't say that I blame her."

This broke Malkarov, who fell out of his chair with laughter.

We all laughed at him and determined that it might be time to leave, while we could all still walk.

We bid farewell to Missus Rose and together walked back over the bridge over the river.

Father Mattias was asking me questions about my studies, although they were asked in such a way as to make Malkarov sound bad in some way. I knew that it was all in jest and the feeling to defend his honour warred inside me against the desire to poke fun at him instead.

As we reached the crest of the bridge, Father Matias mused aloud, "I didn't think that there were any priests of Tenebrae left in Carn."

"There aren't," I responded without thought, "just some cultists somewhere."

I stopped, stock still when I realised what I had said. Malkarov walked into the back of me and we both went down in a heap. I expected something more, but when I extricated my head from Malkarov's sleeve, I saw Father Matias shooeing Sister Tera along ahead of him as they both walked back to the Church. I looked at Malkarov out of the corner of my eye, the wizard was propped up on one elbow, lying sideways on the bridge and looking at me with one eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" he asked.

I sighed, 'oooh poo.'

"Yes," I answered aloud, "but nothing I can."

"Okay," he responded simply, "when you can, you can."

"Come," he continued, "let's get back to the tower. Allardrial ought to be popping by soon, I think. He usually avoids visiting on nine days because he doesn't like 'how annoying I get'," he said in a very amusing impression of his other half, "after I've been at drink. This will be a lovely surprise for him."


	49. Chapter 48

AUTHORS NOTES:

Slyksylva - Me either! I miss her so much, but she's off doing important things for the future of the story :/

Archer1eye - Ooooh…. I'm sure the Inquisitors of Light will show up at some point ;-)

 **Chapter 48**

30th Day of Early Spring 768 n.c

Alladrial was indeed waiting for us, in the sitting room on the ground floor. I couldn't be sure that he _hadn't_ been standing there tapping his foot the entire time, but he definitely was when we entered. He took one look at Malkarov and let out an exceedingly dramatic sigh.

"You can walk yourself?" he asked.

"Of course I can walk myself," Malkarov decried, "I'm not some sort of infant or invalid!"

"Good!" Allardrial retorted, "then you shall walk yourself up to our room which you shall not exit for the rest of the day lest you inflict your annoying intoxicated self upon your poor apprentice!"

Malkarov was about to march himself up the stairs but he abruptly turned around with a huge smile on his face and pointed his finger straight at his love, "You said _our_ room!"

Alladrial let out a sigh, "you're drunk," he said, "I most certainly did not."

"Yes you did!" Malkarov responded.

"No I didn't." Allardrial replied.

"Sharein!" Malkarov announced much too loudly, "Sharein, he did, didn't he?"

I rolled my eyes at his pleading and looked at the elf, "you did," I stated simply.

Alladrial rolled his eyes back at me, "you're drunk too," he replied as he turned back to Malkarov, "enough of this nonsense, get yourself up to _your_ room."

Malkarov bent down and kissed the elf on the end of his nose with an exaggerated "mwah!" before he began skipping up the stairs.

Alladrial turned back to me and said goodnaturedly, "traitor," before he sighed and followed the wizard up the stone steps.

A thump and a loud "Oof!" echoed down the steps before Malkarov's shout of "I'm okay!"

I sighed myself and allowed another small measure of time to pass before I headed up the stairs myself to go to my room. A bath sounded like a wonderful idea and I was eager to continue reading _An investigation on stylus materials in effective rune creation_.

I ran the bath, got undressed and selected the book from the bookshelf. After using the in-house, I gently lowered myself into the steaming water. I was half-way through the book and the water was decidedly cooler than it was when I first entered when I found myself debating over whether to just get out or let some more hot water in. Curious sounds from outside my door made the decision for me, I let out the water and began to dry off. I walked over to my door and pressed my ear against it, trying to ascertain the nature of the noises. They sounded like grunting noises, as if Malkarov or Alladrial were trying to open a jar lid that had seized. I stood there a moment, far longer than I probably should have before I realised what the noises meant.

"Oh," I said aloud, though quietly and followed by quickly admonishing myself. In my embarrassment I became a little muddled and indecisive; and was just about to leave my room to go and sit in a comfy armchair in the sitting room when I realised that I was not yet dressed.

'Silly Sharein,' I thought to myself, 'why are you so befuddled?'

It was a natural thing, similar to what Shard and I had done… or was it? I didn't really want to think about what those two were getting up to in there, or how they were. The mechanics both intrigued me and slightly disgusted me at the same time. I frowned at my own reaction, it wasn't like those mechanics involved me, did they? If they didn't involve me then what reason had I to be disgusted by them. I wondered whether Malkarov would be disgusted by the things Shard and I had done. The things that brought such pleasure? The noises that I was hearing didn't really sound that full of pleasure though, they sounded rough and forceful.

" _Allavaer!"_ I heard Alladrial shout in an exhausted but bliss-filled tone and had to re-evaluate my opinion.

Perhaps there was some measure of pleasure? I went to sit down on my bed, thinking in the now silence; of the shared love between Alladrial and Malkarov. I was torn between running my hand down to my velvety wetness in an effort of recapturing some of that joy and ecstatic pleasure shared between me and _my_ love; and just falling into a dark melancholy at our separation. How I longed to feel her body against mine once more! To hear the sounds of our tender noises, shared blessings to the love we shared. It was that longing that brought the tears to my eyes, the harsh gasping of air in great sobs of pain. I cried into my pillow at the loss I was feeling, at the dark and heavy blanket of desolation.

I felt the darkness surround me, suffocatingly pressing in. I sat up in sudden shock. There was nothing but darkness around me, as If I had been suddenly struck blind. I looked down and could see my body. Not blind. Asleep.

I looked around hopefully and there she was, somehow standing in front of me as if she had been there all along.

"Allavaer!" I cried as I rushed into her arms. We crashed together and her arms wrapped around me, providing me such a feeling of security and safety, love and warmth that all of the feelings of despair left me in an instant. I felt movement and tilted me head up to look at her as she captured my lips with her own. I melted into her, all thought fleeing from the feelings of pleasure bursting inside of me. I felt her hand move and brush my hair behind my ear and my eyes flickered open only to be filled by her Winter's Heart eyes.

"How long have you been studying elvish?" she whispered with a cocky smile.

I blushed a little, "It was the last word that Alladrial said… uh, shouted, afore I fell asleep."

"Oh?" she questioned, with a raised eyebrow.

"Why are you?" I began, desperate to change the subject, "not that I'm complaining of course, very much the opposite. In the whole time you've been gone I haven't needed you more than I did just now."

"Well…" she said with a slight smile that made my heart flutter, "I'm on my way back to you."

Excitement welled up inside me, any remaining shred of sadness removed in an instant.

"Does that mean?" I asked and she was so quick to reply, "yes. Tenebrae has granted our request."

My eyes widened in surprise and I let out a joyous whoop of excitement. We crashed together once more, our lips joined and our bodies slotted in perfectly against each other. I became a concentrated mush of feelings of love, excitement, elation, lust; no acknowledgement of the non-corporeal form that was me in that dreamscape but a manifestation of my baser emotions. I couldn't feel her hands upon my skin, my dream-skin, but I felt the building and intense pleasure ripple all through my very form that was surely the result. There was no exhaustion, no requirement to catch my breath, just an ever growing feeling soaring me higher and higher with each passing moment until the darkness of our dream-scape was lit up with an explosion of dark light. The purple lightning that always manifested wrapped itself around me and shot out in all directions as I called her name in a voiceless exhortation of ecstasy. In that timeless void that feeling both continued forever and ended instantly and when I looked back to Shard it was a look of pure adoration.

"I love you," I whispered, "more than anything. I'm yours."

"And I'm yours, my love," she whispered back, "forever and always."

"When?" I asked, "when will you be back?"

She looked away for a moment before stating, "within the ten-day, I think."

Excitement welled once more, Shard would be back with me so soon!

"Oh," I whispered, remembering the events earlier, "Father Mattias suspects… he tricked me into admitting that I knew about the Tenebrae cultists. That I know about Tenebrae."

Shard hummed, "concerning, but not overly worrying. If he was intending to do something, I don't doubt that he would have done it before now. He will have questions though, once you dedicate yourself."

"When?" I asked, "when will I be able to dedicate myself? Will it be on the Long Night?"

"Normally, yes it would," Shard informed me, "but Tenebrae decided that as you will be her chosen, there is no tradition to stick to. It will involve the loss of sight for a time, but not for the year she traditionally holds it for. For a regular priest, the year is a test to ensure that they are completely willing to abide by her will. For you, however… you will _be_ her will. She likes the symbolism of the sacrifice and it is a requirement for her to bestow her gifts, but you will be the first; and possibly _only._ So… as for _when_ to hold the dedication? On this coming nine-day, if that suits?"

"Oh yes!" I exclaimed, "yes indeed, that suits me very much."

We came together once more, a melding of shared ecstatic pleasure that ended when I opened my eyes, my screams of "yes! Yes, _Allavaer_!" echoing inside my mind. I was lying on my back, on my bed with a wet, sticky hand still resting between my legs.

'Just a dream?' I thought, momentarily before I dismissed it, "not _just_ a dream."

I washed up quickly and got dressed before I headed upstairs to see if there was something to eat.

Alladrial was there and he blushed furiously as soon as he saw me, which confused me a little.

He coughed a little before he spoke, "my apologies Sharein, if we disturbed you earlier."

Now it was my turn to blush, embarrassedly. I didn't really want to acknowledge what I had heard, "not at all."

Malkarov came up the stairs just then as Alladrial said, "Malkarov really should figure out some way to stop the sound travelling out the bedroom doors."

"There's no need," I stammered, "I didn't hear anything."

Malkarov let out a barking laugh, "so it's just a coincidence that you screamed exactly the same thing he did just a little after?"

The elf shot Malkarov an extremely dirty look as I felt my face catch fire, how mortifying! I tried to compose myself as I walked past him to flee back to my room.

"If," I said, pausing briefly at the top of the steps, "if I _had_ … shouted something like that. Which I did not. I remind you, that you would not at all be the cause of it."

I fled to the sound of Alladrial's laughter.


	50. Chapter 49

AUTHORS NOTE:

DecadentLily: Thanks so much for the follow and favourite! I hope that means you've been enjoying it ;-)

Slyksylva: I'm glad you're happy :) Don't fret, even though there will likely be more bits without Shard completely present, this is first and foremost a story about their love.

Archer1eye: Yup, so much WAFF in the last chapter, but only to keep up the rollercoaster ride ;-) Ah! Basically there are some major powers: Darkness, Earth, Sun, Moon. ALL other gods are 'aspects' of these major powers, both linked and separate from them. The Elvish God of the Moon is an aspect of Luna, acting completely independently from Luna but at the same time 'joined' to Luna. An analogy might be mitochondrial DNA, if mitochondrial DNA were some sort of 'energy' or 'power'. The Elvish Moon god is the daughter of Luna and Luna's DNA, Luna's power flows through her but she is a god in her own right. As such, Tenebrae is both the god and not the god that Sharein's mother was in contact with ;-) I'm very cautious with the physicality, in deference to Sharein's age. It's why the last scene took place in a dreamscape and I'm careful not to be too explicit. She won't be thirteen forever though!

 **Chapter 49**

1st - 9th Day of Middle Spring 768 n.c

The first tenday of Middle Spring that year passed the slowest out of any tenday I could ever remember. Lessons with Malkarov focussed mostly on runes. Malkarov was eager for me to finish off the last of the runes so we concentrated on the ones that I hadn't yet learned. Once we had run through them all he tested me on them and was quite pleased with my recollection. We started on rune schemes straight afterwards. Enchanting, Malkarov explained to me, was extremely dangerous.

Malkarov explained, "there are some runes that have opposites, that you must never match up in a rune scheme next to each other. For instance Fe and Ef are the opposite of each other. Fe means wealth and Ef means loss. If you put them together in a rune scheme and then power the scheme then wild magic will be released. Anything could happen; a massive violent release of magical energy or a more specific effect. I once saw the after effects of an An and Na set off next to each other, everyone within a mile radius was struck mute. Completely unable to talk. It took the priests five whole days to cure everyone. Everyone, that is, except for the wizard who set off the scheme. Nothing anybody did could heal him."

We studied the rune scheme engraved upon my sword and scabbard. Malkarov had me cast _Detect Magic_ and copy out the rune schemes onto parchment. The rune scheme on the scabbard was much much less complex than the one on the sword. The wizard then had me compare the scabbard's rune scheme to those written in some of his books that were more commonly used. We noticed some similarities, but could not find one exactly the same. Malkarov pondered over it for quite a while until he discovered a linking rune scheme on the scabbard and a matching one on the sword.

"Aha!" He exclaimed when he discovered it, "but why? Why would they link the enchantment on the scabbard to the enchantment on the blade?"

"Does that mean that the scabbard will only do what it does to _that_ sword and no other?" I asked, taking a guess.

"Exactly!" Malkarov confirmed with a smile, "it's unnecessary and limits its usefulness, why not just leave it out and make the enchantments work on any sword?"

He gestured at the rune scheme that I had copied down, "you can see the similarities here to the one for sharpness, so we could safely assume that is part of its purpose. Also here is a rune scheme for cleaning and rust protection," he said, pointing to another section and then another, "but this one linked to the linking runes looks like a transformational rune scheme."

Excited, he pulled out a book from the shelf and opened it to a page before putting it down on the desk next to my copy, "do you see any similarities?"

"The way _Eh_ and _Sa_ are joined?" I asked, noting a part of the rune scheme that was most obviously the same.

"Yes, yes indeed," Malkarov said excitedly, "this is part of the rune scheme for a _lengthening ladder_. It's one of my Enchantment Master's creations, a ladder that can be shrunk or lengthened on command. One command word shrinks it so that it's small enough to fit in a pocket, another command extends it out to a maximum length of one hundred feet. The problem is," he said pointing out two sections of the _lengthening ladder's_ rune scheme, "this section here defines the two command words. There is not such section in your scabbard's."

"Could the section be not on the sword itself? Could that be the reason that the two are linked?" I asked.

He stared blankly at me for a moment before letting out a laugh, "you've been reading _Patrin's treatise on combined schemes_ , haven't you?"

I recalled the title as one that I had read through one night and answered in the affirmative.

"Good, good," Malkarov said to himself, as much as to me and pointed to my copy of the blade's rune scheme, "look here. If we trace the linking scheme here on the blade we see a scheme that I have never before seen. _Ke, An_ and _Eh_ in such a configuration is curious indeed."

We sat in silence for a while until Malkarov stood up suddenly, "Sharein, hold your scabbard and sword together."

I stood up and picked up the sword, holding the scabbard half way along in one hand and the hilt in my other hand.

"Now, forget how long the sword is," Malkarov said curiously, "put it out of your mind. It's not a sword, it's a dagger. Picture a dagger and pull the dagger out of the scabbard."

I blanked my mind and followed Malkarov's instructions, first picturing a standard kitchen knife until I resolved it to still have the same guard as my sword. I pulled out the blade and Malkarov cheered. In my hand I held a miniature version of my sword, less than a foot long but otherwise an exact replica.

"The rune scheme shrinks my sword?" I asked.

"Not just shrinks," he corrected, "put it back in and draw out a two handed sword, with a blade as long as you are tall."

I followed his instructions and marvelled at the size of the sword that I drew, one that most definitely could not have fit into the much smaller scabbard. It had the same appearance as my sword at it's normal size, but was much longer and wider.

Malkarov clapped and cheered, "astounding! So, we can safely say that the scabbard will protect that sword from getting dull, rusty or dirty but can also change the size of the blade. The reason for the complexity is obvious. It not only has to change the sword, but has to adjust the size of the scabbard's opening, allowing you to put the much wider blade of the two handed sword back into the smaller gap. Not only does it do this on command, but the command isn't said aloud! It actually picks up your desire from your mind! What marvelous work!"

Once we had made that discovery, Malkarov moved on to showing me the rune scheme for his 'blower'. If the rune scheme for the sword and scabbard combined was complicated to me, the rune scheme for the blower seemed indecipherable. Thankfully, he had the scheme broken down into its smaller component parts on other pieces of parchment. One scheme would summon the wind, another would direct it and another would heat it. Other rune schemes were linked to the 'buttons' to turn it on and off and finally he pointed out the 'power bank.'

"The magic to make an enchanted object work does not just come out of thin air," he explained, "we need to put some of our own magic into our enchanted creations. This is the reason why I am not just making bath after bath and selling them. It's the reason why the Grand-Master Wizard traded his in-houses for my baths. To make a permanently enchanted item, I must sacrifice some of my magic to power it."

"But even then, runes need to be re-written every year?" I asked, confused about his earlier lecture and my sword..

"Ah!" Malkarov said, happy that I had remembered, "it's a compromise I make. Runes that are regularly used can be powered to different levels. You can sacrifice less magic, but have to re-write the runes or you can sacrifice _more_ magic and make a truly permanent enchantment. For the runes around my tower here, I chose to sacrifice less for the inconvenience of re-writing because they are enchantments that I am using, I should be around to re-write. For something like that sword, my rings and such… they were permanently enchanted. Now, single use runes on the other hand are completely different. Single use runes will turn to ash once used, they store the magic almost forever until expended. This makes them very useful for creating single use traps and such. Many magical traps you might find in an ancient tomb for instance, will be single use rune schemes and as such will be just as dangerous today as they would have been when first drawn out three hundred or even a thousand years earlier."

"The 'power bank'," he continued, gesturing back towards that rune scheme, "powers the enchantment. It requires a certain amount to make a rune scheme work, depending upon how complicated it is, but does not run out of magic at all. It's possible to adjust an already existing enchantment, to add on to it, but doing so will almost always require a second 'power bank' be included to add extra magic to the enchantment.

"Now then, how would you like to make and power your own simple first enchantment?" He asked with a smile and I couldn't prevent a matching one from appearing on my own face.

It took two days of work, but eventually I had written down onto a piece of parchment, a rune scheme that would make the sound of a bell when it was stepped upon. Once Malkarov had approved of the design and made one slight correction, he allowed me to write it out again using a special ink that was a requirement for enchanting a piece of parchment. It had a purplish hue and an odd smell.

Malkarov then walked me through the proper words to enchant an item, forcing my magic from inside of me out through my hand and into the 'power bank'. I didn't feel any loss of magic, any 'less' and questioned Malkarov on it.

"Enchantment only takes a fraction of the power permanently; or in the case of a single use rune scheme, until it is expended, as it does to cast a spell for a similar effect. This rune scheme is so simple that it would be the equivalent of a cantrip. You could probably make a number of these before you had sacrificed an amount of your magic equal to casting a cantrip."

Once I had finished and I had a piece of parchment sitting in front of me that would make a bell sound when stepped upon, I asked Malkarov whether I should step on it to test it.

"I have a better idea!" he said with a cheeky grin.

His better idea ended up involving us casting _invisibility_ and putting the rune scheme down in front of Father Mattias' door, covering it with a small layer of dirt and knocking on his door. The poor old priest jumped almost a foot in the air when the loud bell (for Malkarov hadn't corrected my mistake with regards to the volume of the bell) rang out from underneath his feet. Malkarov laughed so loud that he lost his _invisibility_. I, on the other hand, dropped my invisibility and relied upon the age old defence of pointing my finger at the mastermind of the prank. The old priest made an extremely rude gesture at the Wizard and retreated back into the temple, slamming the door behind him.

"I'm in shock!" I admitted to Malkarov.

"That it worked so well?" He asked.

"That Father Mattias would use such a horrid gesture," I answered.

That just resulted in even more laughter.

We worked through a few more potions during lessons and began a basic introduction to rituals since I had learned all of my runes. Rituals were extremely interesting to me, they seemed to be a combination of normal spell casting and enchantment. Most rituals required a _circle of protection_ or a _circle of intent_ as Malkarov had already explained to me, but depending upon the ritual the _circle_ was subtly different. Malkarov taught me the _Protection_ ritual, a simple ritual that would grant me a very small measure of protection from harm. First I had to inscribe the _circle of intent_ upon the ground, using a piece of red ochre. Multiple candles were lit, each one different. Each candle had herbs or oils mixed in with the wax. Malkarov named each one as he pulled them out: anise, basil, cloves, dill and blueberry. Unlike regular spellcasting, the ritual words did not echo inside me, in fact it sounded more like the prayers we used when talking to Luna, Celestine or Mithras when doing Mother's rituals at home. In fact, the whole process reminded me greatly of Mother's rituals. When the ritual was complete however, I felt the magic settle down around me. It almost felt like, rather than summoning the magic from inside of me and using that to influence the outside world that the ritual was condensing magic from outside.

I raised this with Malkarov and he agreed with me, "Interestingly, and this is something that is fairly closely guarded, mind; almost anybody can cast a ritual. Even people with no talent for magic can cast rituals successfully, so long as they follow the prescribed formula."

My dreams were occasionally disturbed, wavering between pleasurable dreams of Shard and not so nice dreams about the kobolds. On at least one occasion I awoke in a cold sweat and was then being unable to get back to sleep. It made me a bit anxious at night time, wondering whether I would be graced with pleasant dreams or cursed with nightmares.

When I woke up on the ninth day of Middle Spring, I felt like all anxiety had been washed away from me.

'Today, I shall see Shard,' I thought with excitement, 'today, I will become the Chosen of Tenebrae.'


	51. Chapter 50

AUTHORS NOTES:

My shift at work tonight involved about 7 hours of sitting around at a computer with nothing better to do, so why not two chapters?

Archer1eye: Yup, things will be…. Interesting this chapter, but the real escalation is still a while off, there's a shit-storm coming and nobody has invented umbrellas yet ;-) haha…. Only 'technically', *more* revelations regarding Sharein's mother might be forthcoming, but I'm deliberately leaving the workings of deities as vague as I can. In one manner of speaking it could be described that Shareins mother worshipped Tenebrae, but in a general understanding she did not. Technically, anybody who is afraid of the dark would be 'worshipping' Tenebrae ;-)

 **Chapter 50**

9th Day of Middle Spring 768 n.c

After getting dressed and a quick breakfast with Malkarov, I departed his tower and Easthaven to walk back towards my family's farm. It was a very pleasant spring day, butterflies flittered between the flowers that carpeted the roadside and there was only a very slight breeze. The sky was clear and blue with the white of clouds only far away on the horizon. I decided to immediately head straight to Shard's clearing to see her first, before heading home for lunch and dinner. I was reminded of Mother's demand that Shard come for dinner immediately upon her return. I had to inform Shard that both Mother and Illith knew about her.

As I got closer to the farmhouse, I cast _Invisibility_ lest I be sighted and my movements questioned. I had no wish to get immediately stuck answering Kara's one hundred and one questions, I was sure that would come after seeing Shard.

I skipped through the forest and right into her clearing, overjoyed to see her sitting there on her altar patiently awaiting me.

"My Love!" I cried out (and I think she did too) as we crashed into each other.

It felt so good to hold her in my arms once more and to be held by her. The smell of her… had changed? I sniffed her hair in confusion. Instead of inhaling the scent of Winter's Heart flowers, that nose-clearing sharp smell, it was the smell of spring flowers; Lavender, Geranium and Lemon blossom. It was a shock, but a welcome one.

"I've missed you so much!" I sobbed into her shoulder.

"And I you, my love," she replied gently, holding me tight.

We stayed like that for quite some time, just content to hold each other and to be close. I breathed in her changed scent and took comfort in our contact. When we finally broke our hug to kiss it was bliss. It didn't have the fire of our passionate meetings, but a comfortable welcoming feel, a reassurance. It washed away any negative feelings that I might have been carrying and buoyed me up. I felt loved, I felt happy.

"Tonight?" Shard asked and I snapped back to reality. Since we had broken the kiss, I had just been standing there holding her hands in mine and staring into her eyes. Her eyes that were now a bright, vibrant green. She had a laughing smile and her eyes twinkled at me.

"Tonight…" I repeated, trying to remember what was special about tonight…

"Oh!" I started, remembering what I had reminded myself about earlier, "can you… would you…" I stuttered before I rallied my emotions, "Mother has invited you to dinner. Demanded in fact, though I told her that I wasn't sure you could leave here."

She cocked her head, still smiling, "How does your Mother know about me?"

I hummed, "well.." I began, stretching out the word, "that night I went to visit the kobolds, I didn't realise that Illith had followed me and she heard everything that I said to you."

"So your sister is aware of my existence?" Shard asked.

"Yes," I answered simply.

"What about your mother?" She pressed.

"Well, what neither Illith nor I realised was that Mother was following the both of us and also overheard what I said to you," I continued, "I'm not sure she realises exactly who and what you are, just that there is someone I… ahhhh…" I stalled, then continued in a rush, " _mayhaveproposedto_?"

Shard let out a laugh, "I thought I noticed her there that night, it was hard to tell without being physically here, but I had a feeling. But what do you mean 'may have proposed to'?"

"I wasn't sure when Mother asked me," I explained, "and I told her that I had said 'I would marry you if I could', and she determined that _could_ have amounted to a marriage proposal being that there _are_ ceremonies that could be performed with certain Gods between two women. In any case, she is now demanding that I bring the woman to whom I'm engaged, to dinner."

"Now, now, my love," she said, "I would not hold you to a proposal made without thought of consequence or knowledge of binding."

"You don't want to marry me?" I asked, in shock.

"I didn't say that," she corrected, "just that I am not the sort to hold you to that offer if it was not meant sincerely."

"Not meant sincerely? Knowledge of its binding has only increased my earnestness, if you would have me as your wife there is nothing else I should ever want for!" I exclaimed.

"Although," I said, realising one little problem.

"Although?" Shard echoed.

"Mother has given away her Mother's Right to an unknown deity," I explained.

Shard smiled at me, "that, I do not think, shall be much of a problem. I can talk to whoever she gave it to."

She straightened up and looked me in the eyes, "Sharein, my love, would you take me to wife?"

"Yes!" I shouted, "yes, my love, yes!"

Some time later, as we lay together on the grass at the base of the altar and had recovered from the sharing of love, Shard said to me simply, "I can."

"You can?" I asked, confused.

"I can leave this clearing," she said, "I can come to dinner. Not quite yet, but if you would provide your assistance, I can."

"What do you need?" I asked.

"Just a simple ritual, to link me with you," she said, "it would be permanent and would not be something that I would offer to just anyone. But if we are to be wed…"

"Oh my love, there is nothing that I would not do for you," I gushed.

Although we were both naked this time (and I was surprised at how comfortable I was with that), the ritual was a moment of deja vu from our first meeting. Shard used her black knife to make cuts on both of our palms; that we then joined together. We spoke the words of the prayer together and then placed both of our hands upon her altar. The words were different from those used when I swore the oath to her and the final part was a new addition, as was the feeling that rushed into me when we did so. I felt… full, on the inside. Comfortably so, almost like there was something _missing_ inside of me that was now fixed, replaced.

"Is that?" I asked, "Is that you? Inside me?"

"Yes," she answered with a smile, "sort of at least, a part of me. The part that anchored me to the altar is now anchoring me to you."

"Does that mean," I asked, "if something were to happen to me?"

"I wouldn't die, but I would be lost for a time," she replied, "until I could re-anchor myself to the altar. Most of my power still resides here," she explained touching the black stone, "but I can now move around you, wherever you are as well as return back here."

"So," I said, trying to plan and clarify, "you will come to dinner tonight and then after?"

"Afterwards, you can come back here for the dedication?" She finished.

I nodded, excited, "do you have to come with me when I return home or will you be able to… teleport there?"

"Just call me when you are ready for me to appear," she answered, "and I shall appear and knock on the door to your house."

"I'm not sure," I said, "how tonight will go. Mother seems supportive, but I don't know how Father will react, or my siblings."

Shard just smiled at me, "I'm sure everything will be fine."

"I hope you're right," I said, to which Shard simply laughed.

"Didn't I tell you my love?" she asked, "I'm always right."

I laughed at that, of course she was.

"I had better go," I said regretfully.

"Yes," Shard agreed, "but we shall see each other again very shortly, and you yet carry a part of me within you wherever you are."

I got dressed, slightly irritated at the ease by which Shard merely summoned her dress and underclothes back onto herself.

"What is it?" She asked, making me realise that I was standing there staring at her with only one leg in my trousers.

"You're just so beautiful," I breathed.

"Oh, my heart," she whispered, with a pleased expression as I recommenced my dressing.

We embraced once more in a kiss before I left, with reassurances that we would see each other again soon.

I made my way back through the forest in as buoyant a mood as I had earlier, with very little anxiety or worry.

I was almost knocked over when I entered the farmhouse, by the flying tackling hugs of Illith and Kara.

"Sharein's home Mother!" Illith shouted after a moment.

"Calm yourselves girls!" Mother admonished as she came to greet me, engulfing me into a hug of her own.

"You smell nice Sharein," she said once she broke off the hug, "have you been rolling in a flowering meadow?"

"Not… exactly," I said, flushing a little.

Mother raised one eyebrow in curiosity, but said "go and put your pack away and come into the kitchen so we can talk."

I did as she told me, but carried the sword with me out into the kitchen. Mother saw it and raised an eyebrow.

"A little bit of magic," I said, to Mother and the girls, "to begin with. How long do you think this sword is?"

Mother furrowed her eyebrows in suspicion and spread her arms apart in almost exactly the length of the blade in it's default. Kara spread her arms apart as wide as they could, but Illith looked first at the scabbard and then at mother before spreading her arms in an approximation of Mother's answer.

"Are you sure?" I asked with a smile and laughed when Mother merely raised her eyebrow.

I pictured the great two-handed sword that Malkarov had me imagine, drawing out from the scabbard a blade as long as I was tall. I laughed at how wide Kara and Illith's eyes widened, but louder still when I saw that Mother's eyes had widened the same.

"Malkarov and I discovered this when we studied the enchantments on the scabbard, it will come out any length that you can imagine," I explained.

"May I try?" Illith asked and I put the sword back into the scabbard and handed it over to her.

"All that time," Mother whispered and I laughed a little and asked, "you never knew?"

She shook her head, "no, not at all. It wouldn't have mattered too much to me, the blade the size of the scabbard was perfect for me, but there were occasions that a knife might have been useful."

We watched as Illith drew the sword, only for it to appear normally.

"You have to picture exactly what you want," I suggested to her before turning back to Mother, "would you set an extra place for dinner tonight?"

"She's coming?" Mother asked.

"Yes, Shard will be here at dinner time," I said with a nod.

"Did you happen to clear up any confusion about… the question?" Mother asked carefully.

"Oh yes," I said with a wide smile, "we're definitely engaged to be married."

Mother's eyes widened in shock, she even put her hands over her mouth in a gesture of surprise. Hints of a smile appeared from under her hands, "oh but Shar, I can't give permission, I haven't Mother's Right, I told you that."

I smiled, "I have a feeling that won't be a problem Mother."

"You can't know that Sharein," Mother stated, "you can't know the will of the Gods."

"Just wait and see Mother," I said with a confident smile.

"You really love her then?" She asked.

"I really do," I replied, "with a love so strong that I cannot deny it."

"Well," Mother said finally, "I shall have to warn your Father a little more. I've already spoken to him, carefully, trying to open his mind. We shall see. Dinner then?"

We were distracted by Kara and Illith's cheering as Illith managed to draw from the scabbard a sword more suited to her height, somewhat between its usual size and that of the dagger that I had previously withdrawn.

"We'd better get a start on dinner if we wish to leave a good impression then girls," Mother announced.

"But Mama!" Kara said grumpily, pointing at the sword, "I wanna try!"

"You can try later," Mother said, "If Sharein lets you. But for now, we must start dinner. If you wouldn't mind helping Shar? I shall have to pull out some of my fancier recipes."


	52. Chapter 51

AUTHORS NOTE:

I'm really not happy with the 'coming out' scene in this chapter. It feels too stilted and unemotional. I'd be happy to take ANY comments or criticisms or offers to help in this regard 3

Readinglover3: Thanks for the follow! I'll endevour to continue updates as often as I can.

Archer1eye: Haha! I've often wondered if that was the case, you do seem to be very quickly on the ball ;-) Haha! I have zero idea about fifth edition, so I don't really know the mechanics of Warlock. No, Think of the the Altar as being Shard's "permanent home", or... the source of her power. She has merely looped a 'leash' around Sharein to enable her to stray from her altar. Sharein is well and truly love-struck, isn't she. It seems like Shard can do no wrong (and the way I'm writing Shard is reflective of Sharein's feelings for her). As for how things are inside the house...

Slyksylva: Wonder no more :o

 **Chapter 51**

9th Day of Middle Spring 768 n.c

We prepared a ham stew for dinner with individual loaves of round bread for each of us. Each loaf was baked until very crusty on the outside, the top cut off and the fluffy bread inside dug out. This fluffy bread was then popped onto a fry pan and cooked until crunchy. The soup would be poured into each loaf and the toasted bread popped into it. It kept us all busy, but allowed time for Mother to leave us at work in order to find Father. When she came back, Mother gave me a tight smile which helped to calm my nerves a little.

Before Father and my brothers came back inside, we even had a little time for Kara to successfully pull the two handed sword out of the scabbard, even if she couldn't lift it to put it back in again.

When he came back in, Father looked at me with a frown and said tersely, "a word Sharein," before turning around and heading back outside.

I looked at Mother, who returned a look of worry that matched how I felt and followed him outside. He was standing at the front gate, facing away from me. I walked up towards him and stopped about six feet away.

"What your Mother told me," he began, "it's true?"

I hummed, "is what true?" I thought I knew what he was talking about, but I didn't want to give anything away.

"That the girl you have invited to dinner..." He paused, and continued differently "you have proposed marriage to a girl, another girl?"

I hardly thought Mother would lie to him, or even joke about something like that. But he was obviously shocked by the news.

"Yes Father," I confessed, my voice unwavering, "that's true."

"You're just confused Sharein," he said, turning around, "your Mother's given you too much leeway."

Confused? Not at all! Perhaps Mother had given too much leeway, but I don't think that would have changed how I felt.

"No Father," I said quietly, "it's who I am."

"You don't know what love is," he said, waving his hand dismissively, "you just haven't met the right boy yet."

"No Father," I repeated, pleading, "I could never meet the right boy, there is no right boy. I love _her."_

He thumped his fist on the gate post, the most violent gesture I thought that I'd ever seen him make around us, and I jumped a little, "you can't marry her though. It would never be recognised by Mithras, it would never be recognised."

"Father," I said, hesitantly, "it might not be recognised by Mithras, but it will be recognised. I love her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

He frowned at me, sitting down with a thud on the waiting stump (a stump of wood by the gate that Jocam placed there years earlier to sit on while he waited for the Meadowbroeks to arrive on a tenday), "but… how could you be content in a marriage that could never produce children?"

Children? I didn't really think that I ever wanted children, for some girls in town it was all they thought of, but I was never like them.

"I just will Father," I told him, "so long as I have Shard beside me."

"You're determined in this?" He asked after a long pause.

I nodded, "yes Father. Yes I am."

"Well," he continued and I felt a pain in my chest when I realised that he was crying, "you are your Mother's responsibility and under her authority. If she has no problem with it then I cannot gainsay, but I'm at a loss Sharein," he sighed loudly, "I really am. It's wrong. Father Mattias never mentions it, but I can distinctly remember old Father Sorazar's sermons. It's not allowed, it's forbidden. You will lose Mithras' blessing and Celestine's light, don't you understand that?"

"I understand Father," I replied, but I couldn't tell him that I just didn't care and I definitely couldn't tell him that I'd found another deity to replace them.

"Well," he said finally then hummed and sighed, "well. She will be here soon, _this girl_?"

My heart twisted at the tone he used to refer to Shard and my anxiety increased. I nodded simply.

"Well, I suppose I had best freshen up if I am to be meeting my _daughter-in-law_ to be," he spat, walking past me and inside the house.

Whatever it was that was keeping me standing, keeping me brave and clear fled in that instant and I collapsed onto the ground in a mess of tears. At some point, Mother came out and knelt down next to me, grasping me in a hug so that I could sob into her shoulder. She whispered into my ear as she brushed the hair and the back of my head gently. She soothed me until the sobbing stopped, until the tears ceased.

"It's just a surprise to him Sharein," Mother said, "he doesn't understand. Don't get me wrong, I'm very put out with him at the moment and I _will_ work on him. It will be all right, in the end, he'll come around."

I nodded into her hair, "come get yourself straightened up before she arrives," Mother said.

She helped me up and I went to my room to brush my hair and outside to wash my face in cold water. As I sat on the bed, brushing my hair, Illith came into the room. She looked like she also had been crying, her eyes were a bit puffy and her cheeks blotchy.

"You heard?" I asked and she nodded sadly.

"Don't worry Illith," I said gently as I opened my arms for a hug, which she quickly rushed into, "Mother assures me that she will change Father's mind and that he's only upset because it's something new to him. Wherever you end up, when you do, I'm sure his reaction will be much improved."

She looked up at me with a hopeful smile, "you really think?"

"I do," I said, kissing her forehead and tightening the hug briefly, "come on Illith, let's get ready for dinner. Shard will be here any moment."

I went back out into the kitchen where everyone was gathered, fortified myself and mentally whispered, 'Shard, I'm ready now.'

 _Knock, knock, knock_ came from the front door instantly.

"That will be Shard," I said, turning around to go and let her in. My chest tightened both with excitement and anxiety. A feeling of dread was slowly settling on me.

I opened the door and was quite surprised when I saw her. Not only was she in front of my family's house, rather than the clearing, but she looked so different than I was used to. Her raven hair was done up, with gentle ringlets framing her face and cascading down. She was wearing a steel hair clip to keep the hair pinned back behind her right ear. Her dress was different also. It was still black and she still wore black slippers on her feet, but the dress had intricate lacework around the hems and cuffs with strips of black embroidery that ran from her shoulders, crossed over between her bust and went down to her waist. The skirt of the dress was tiered and gently ruffled. Her smooth flawless skin was incredibly pale, her lips red and it looked like she had put some ash on her eyelids. She took my breath away.

"You're…" I breathed, "gorgeous!"

She blushed a little and did a small curtsey, we took each other's hands and shared a chaste kiss in the doorway.

"Are you ready?" I asked and she responded with a smile.

"Always," she said.

I escorted her into the kitchen, where everyone was already standing.

"Mother, Father, may I please introduce Shard," I said to them, "Shard, this is my Mother, Father, older brother Jocam, younger sisters Illith and Kara and younger brothers Daavid and Jara."

Father and Jocam were both frowning and were the complete opposite of Illith, who was smiling brightly with eyes wide in adoration. Kara, David and Jara all looked a little nonplussed, excited enough that there was a stranger come to visit but ignorant of the situation. As for Mother, she simply stared with mouth open and eyes wide.

We both waited for Mother to say her welcome, but she said nothing. Father mumbled the bare minimum "welcome," as required to satisfy the minimum required greeting. Lilith stood up and executed a passable curtsey which Kara stood and copied. I smiled at their attempt, awkward but performed with such good intent.

Mother blinked a couple of times, looked around and gathered herself, "please be welcome in my home Shard, as welcome as your own," it was a much more formal greeting and one that basically said 'treat this as your own home'. I mentally whispered a 'thank-you' to Mother.

"Thank you Missus Askilain," Shard responded, executing a perfect curtsey, "may the sun shine ever more on your home."

Mother started a little and I looked at Shard confused, but Mother smiled quickly and gestured to the two remaining empty chairs.

"Please," she said, "have a seat, join us for dinner."

Shard and I sat down next to each other, with Illith next to Shard and Kara next to me. Mother and Father sat in their usual places. Mother served dinner and we all started eating. I drank the soup slowly, anxiously waiting for the silence to be broken.

Eventually the silence was broken, "you are obviously not from Easthaven Shard, where are you living?" Mother asked.

Shard answered Mother, hand raised with a soup filled spoon halfway to her mouth, "I have lived, for the past many years, in the forest to the east of here."

"In the forest?" Father asked incredulously, looking suspiciously at Shard.

"Yes," Shard replied calmly, "in a clearing in the forest."

"With your family?" Mother asked slowly.

"Oh no," Shard smiled, "just me."

"You're an orphan?" Mother asked, leaning closer as if she were about to hug Shard at any moment.

"No," Shard replied, "my Mother is… away. I went to visit her recently to seek permission," she finished by looking lovingly at me.

I returned the look with all the love I could summon and Mother seemed to misinterpret her meaning, "your Mother gave her permission?"

"Oh yes," Shard said happily, turning back to Mother, "it took a bit of convincing, but she agreed in the end. How could anyone not love Sharein, even if she only met her through my own testimony."

"Well, I cannot argue with that," replied Mother with a smile, her eyes twinkled.

Father grunted and I noticed Jocam looking sideways at Mother in surprise.

Dinner continued in silence for a while after that, Father looked about to open his mouth on a couple of occasions but with a look from Mother his mouth closed forcibly. I glanced at Shard every so often and we shared smiles when our eyes met. At one point I moved my foot behind and to the inside of hers and left it resting there, taking comfort in that small point of contact. The silence stretched on awkwardly to the point that Kara and Jara were both looking around the table in confusion; understanding that nobody was talking but not wishing to take the risk to talk themselves.

Mother grew concerned after a while and voiced it a moment later, "Shard, you said that you live in the forest? I don't think that we can have you walking into there in the darkness, it would be best for you to sleep here the night."

I looked over at Shard and watched her lip twitch, "Thank you for the offer, but I will be perfectly fine. The beasts in the forest will not harm me and the darkness does not worry me at all."

"There's worse than beasts," Jocam spoke up, "kobolds attacked us and the farm recently."

"The kobolds and I were aware of each other," Shard answered, "but they did not bother me."

Mother looked thoughtful, "Shard," she asked, "are you a Forest Priest?"

Father's eyebrows raised at this, the Forests Priests were a group of Priests of Mithras, who lived in and took care of the forests. Although part of the church, they were at the same time revered for their dedication and mistrusted due to their isolated nature. It was said that their presence in a forest made it come alive and made the animals in the forest more intelligent. If Shard actually was a Forest Priest, it might have even been possible that her gender would not be a problem in marriage to me, in Father's eyes.

Shard laughed at that, a musical chuckle that I almost felt like joining in on, "No, I'm not a Forest Priest."

We finished up dinner and I stood to help collect dishes, but Mother bade me sit back down again so that she and Illith could collect them instead. Mother poured some wine for us (watered more and more for the younger siblings) and we sat comfortably to let dinner settle.

While we rested, Shard asked questions about the farm and farmhouse and took a great interest in the most mundane of things. When Mother told her the story of the horse naming, she collapsed into a giggling fit and held onto me so that she could giggle into my lap. I sat stock still and rubbed along the back of her head while flushing bright red. Father just glared, but thankfully didn't say anything.

Eventually it was time for the younger ones to go to bed and Shard thanked Mother for a wonderful dinner, "I don't think that I have ever eaten something so delicious!"

"'I'd best be going," Shard announced, as Kara and Jara began getting ready.

"Are you sure I cannot beg you to stay the night, even if the animals in the forest will leave you alone it's surely a long walk," Mother asked.

Shard giggled again, "thank you, but no. I'll be fine."

"Well dear," Mother said as we walked to the front door, "I must say that I look forward to having you as a daughter in law."

Shard brightened considerably, "and I shall look forward to having you for a Mother in law."

Father and my siblings all remained inside, but Mother and I walked with Shard out to the gate.

We embraced and Shard whispered in my ear, "I'll see you tonight?"

To which I whispered back an affirmative.

We broke the hug holding hands until Shard said, "well then, I'd best be off."

She stepped back and blew me a kiss, then, simply disappeared.

Mother's sharp intake of breath beside me drew my attention.

"She's a wizard?" she asked.

I laughed a little, "no Mother."

"Just so you know Sharein," Mother said as we walked back to the house, "I saw the Masked God. She's the one, she's your one."


	53. Chapter 52

AUTHORS NOTE:

Archer1eye: Never underestimate a thief. I might send you a pm about how my coming out was, it felt anticlimactic at the time… but later news broken to me was… difficult. Oh, don't think that he doesn't think for himself… not for a second. The Easthavian culture however, is that the Mothers have ALL of the authority when it comes to daughters and Fathers have ALL of the authority when it comes to sons. He might have deep seated religious issues, but he's also a traditionalist at heart, so he IS conflicted… and very confused as to why his wife doesn't have any problem with it, although he is used to her lack of care for traditions (as much as she goes along with them.)  
Also: I *have* revealed Sharein's parents names waaaaay back in chapter 2 (although chapter 17 has a mention)… but weirdly enough Easthaven is kind of like the puritan America of "The cauldron". She refers to them as Mother and Father and everyone else will refer to them as Master and Missus Askilain.

Slyksylva: Read and find out ;-)

Havok22: Thank you SO much for the review. Hope you enjoy :)

 **Chapter 52**

9th Day of Middle Spring 768 n.c

I went back inside and pretended to go to bed and sleep, but I wore my trousers and shirt still. After a short while I got back out of bed and creeped out of the house. I paused once I was out a ways, crouching and waiting to be sure that Illith did not wake and was not following me once again. The door did not open, so I began my trek towards Shard's clearing. I paused and watched again once I had entered the treeline but again saw nothing out of sorts. Luna was either missing or hidden behind clouds and the forest was darker as a result. I used _Dancing Lights_ to illuminate my path. The forest was silent, not even the hoot of an owl. I didn't hear the burbling of the creek until I got right up next to it and then the sound of it rushed in as if I had been deaf and only just regained my hearing. Once I crossed and took a few steps away the burbling noise stopped so abruptly that I turned around expecting the creek to be suddenly dry. It was not. I brushed it off and continued walking, making the clearing in good time. Shard was there, dressed normally but still just as pretty. She spotted me immediately and held her finger up to stop me.

I stopped and waited patiently.

She glided forward and we embraced briefly, before she said quietly, "you must undress, there must be nothing hidden from She Who Hides All. You must walk forward and kneel at the altar, call out to Tenebrae and tell her why you're here," she paused and whispered in an irreverent manner, "she already knows you're here and why, so you needn't be too _loud_."

She continued, "once she has answered, you will offer up blood on the altar and plead with Tenebrae to _take so that she may give_. Then you will repeat the prayer that I will say and it should all be done."

She stopped and smiled before spinning right around to face behind her, pointing out into the forest, "come out Mother!"

My sharp intake of breath drew Shard's attention back to me, I should have known better. If someone can steal a King's crown then surely they would be able to follow me without me realising.

Mother ruefully walked out into the clearing and made it opposite the altar, "what's going on here? You're not planning on saying your vows without, at the least, me and your sisters present?"

"No," I replied, "not yet," even though I considered this to be a next step to get closer to Shard, with knowledge that we _could_ get married my determination to dedicate myself to Tenenbrae had not waned.

"Sharein is going to dedicate herself!" Shard piped up happily. I groaned at what was to come and Shard looked back at me quizzically.

"Dedicate?" Mother choked out, "to a God?"

"Goddess actually," Shard corrected.

"Which?" Mother questioned painfully.

"Tenebrae," Shard replied simply.

Mother screeched out "what?" Then rushed over to me, "Sharein, do you realise what you're doing? You'll be forever tied to her, doing whatever she wants! The Gods are not to be messed with, not to be played around with on a whim! It's a lifetime of dedication!"

"I know what I'm doing Mother, it's what I want," I replied, my voice sounding pleading to my ears, "I won't be just dedicated to her, I'm going to be her chosen!"

"Her chosen?" Mother whispered, collapsing down to sit on the ground, she whispered what I thought was "chosen of darkness?"

"It's a little late to be worried about me being forever tied to a Goddess anyway," I whispered to myself but Mother must have caught some of it because her head shot up and she stared at me.

"What did you say?" she asked.

I looked at Shard, thinking 'can I tell her?' She nodded at me.

"I'm able to become Tenebrae's chosen because Shard was away for me pleading my case," I said carefully.

"You said that you were away visiting your Mother," Mother accused Shard, who smiled in return.

"I was!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

"But…" Mother began and I could see her working through the implications of that.

"If you're…" Mother said to herself, "and… Then that means…"

"Shard's a Goddess," I said, "kind of, sort of."

"Technically I'm a part of Tenebrae, not like her left pinky toe part, but a part of her power," Shard explained.

"I'm going to need a bit to think about this," Mother said.

"I'd expect so," Shard said brightly, "but I need to start the ceremony now. Would you like to watch? It's actually good that you're here as you'll be able to help Sharein get home."

I wasn't sure Mother actually really heard and understood what Shard said, but she allowed Shared to direct her a short distance from the altar.

"Get undressed now," Shard instructed me and I did so, leaving all of my clothes piled on the ground. Although it was middle spring, the air was a bit chilly and I felt goose bumps rise on my arms.

Shard waved me forward and I approached the altar, knelt down and called out mentally, 'Tenebrae, I am here to dedicate myself to you!'

'Good,' I heard a mysterious femenine voice reply, in the back of my head, 'rise and dedicate yourself to me.'

I stood up and Shard cut both of my palms with her triangular knife. She took my wrists in her hands, and turned my palms over to be pressed onto the top of the altar. A burning began, the altar felt like it was as hot as a fire! No, not the altar.. My blood, my blood was on fire! It was burning back up through my hands, up my arms and throughout my whole body! It was agony, pain beyond belief. It was hard to concentrate, but I felt gently a nudge from Shard almost lost among the pain flowing throughout me and I recalled her instructions.

'Take so that you may give!' I called out, screamed out using all of the pain inside me to make my mental call as loud as possible.

And just like that… the pain was gone. I felt Shard rub my back in sympathy and a glance showed that Mother was looking at me with worry and concern, arms still stretched out towards me as if she were about to rush forward.

Shard began chanting, strange unknowable words that I was somehow able to repeat. With each word repeated I felt an echo, a pulse from inside of me. The pulse of my magic. With each word the pulse grew stronger and stronger still. Until finally, just as she finished, as I finished it burst out. It was the same feeling as if I were casting a spell, but instead of travelling down my arm it burst out from every part of my body, an explosion of magic shooting off into the distance in every direction! Once it had shot off, I felt it… an echoing pulse from all around me. I confused it with the magic inside of me at first, until I realised that it was external to me, not internal. It was coming from all around. No, not all around… not where there was light, only shadow… only darkness. It pulsed in return and I could feel every one of them, getting greater and greater until they stopped. Until everything stopped and there was blackness. Nothing but darkness. There was no sound, I could see nothing.

'It is done,' a voice whispered in the back of my mind.

"It is done," echoed Shard from beside me.

"Sharein?" Mother said pleadingly, sounding frantic, "Sharein, are you alright?"

I turned around towards the direction of the voice, towards Mother, "I'm alright Mother," I said.

I must have overestimated the direction, for Shard turned back back a little bit and Mother gasped, "your eyes! Your eyes are black Shar, your eyes are black!"

"I'll have to take your word for it," I said with a smile as I reached out tentatively towards Mother, carefully extending my hand slowly.

It was grasped, by who I assumed was Mother and I felt a hand come up to rest against my cheek. I jerked my head back at the unexpected feeling, but once I realised that it was a hand and a hand most likely belonging to Mother, I leaned into it.

"She's blind?" Mother asked, "You're blind?" Obviously to me the second time.

"Yes," I heard Shard say, "Tenebrae takes her sacrifice in return for great gifts."

"How long will she be blind for?" I heard Mother ask.

"Well, normally dedicants lose their sight for a year entire," Shard said and Mother screamed, "what?"

Shard huffed amusedly, " _normally_ dedicants lose their sight for a year, but Sharein is the first and only of Tenebrae's chosen so she decided that the year wouldn't be necessary."

I could picture Shard's amused smile and Mother would have to have a frustrated look.

"How long," Mother said slowly and deeply.

"A tenday," Shard replied and I smiled.

"Well, that's better than I was thinking!" I exclaimed.

"Better than? Did you _know_ this was going to happen?" Mother asked of me exasperatedly.

"Yes," I answered, "well, not how long of course. I was kind of expecting something closer to a year."

"Sharein!" I heard Mother say, she didn't sound very happy.

I felt a familiar arm wrap around my waist to clasp my hip and I reached out an arm searchingly to wrap around Shard in turn.

"We'd best get you off home Sharein, it's going to be a long tenday and the sooner you get it started, the sooner it will be over." Shard whispered.

"Are you coming?" I asked and there was a long pause. I wondered if Shard and Mother were having some sort of mental argument. I didn't think that Mother would be too happy with Shard at that moment, all things considered.

"As far as the edge of the forest at least," Shard said, at length.

I didn't hear any further discussion, but was happy that Shard was coming most of the way at least.

They helped me get dressed back into my clothes. Both of them. That was interesting and slightly eye opening. It was a stark reminder of how much help I would need from others while I was like this.

Together they guided me. It was difficult to begin with, until I realised that Mother would probably be having trouble in the darkness and I cast _Dancing Lights_. That's when I got my first shock. I could _see_ it! I couldn't see what it illuminated, but I could see the ball of black light! Although, not so much the black light part of it, but the ball of purple lightning. I even pointed right at it and Mother confirmed that it was there! I wondered whether I _could_ actually see it, despite being born or whether it was my own mind filling in its location through my magic. It didn't really matter in the end, because it wasn't like it actually showed me anything except its own location in relation to me in an empty sightless void. Mother and Shard ensured that I didn't trip on any roots, but it was difficult to walk without any idea of the height of the surface I was stepping onto. Any hole was unexpected and any slight mound was something that I could trip on. We did make it, after what felt like an eternity, to the edge of the forest. I felt their lack of movement at the same time, their hands holding my arms no longer moved forward and I stopped.

There was a pause and I looked to my right, in the direction of Mother and to my left towards Shard.

"It is time for me to leave you, my love," Shard said, "for now."

I broke my hand from Mother's gentle grasp and felt for Shard with both hands. One hand grasped the material of her dress and a gentle squeeze (and an abrupt cough from Mother) informed me of exactly which part of Shard I had found. I felt around until I grasped her in a hug and we came together slowly in a goodbye kiss. Well, a kiss at least that perhaps went on longer than socially acceptable. To be honest, I had forgotten for the briefest of moments that Mother was there, until at least, she coughed again.

"Thank you." I whispered to her, bringing one hand up to caress her cheek.

"No," Shard whispered back, "thank… you."

I felt a slight wetness on my thumb, where I was caressing her cheek under her eye. Was she crying?

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly, concerned.

"Nothing's wrong my love," she replied, "I'm happy. I'm so wonderfully, eternally happy."

We kissed again, shorter that time so as not to risk another reminder from Mother.

Mother helped me walk back to the house and the whole way I felt like something was missing. Something external. We had almost reached the door when I realised with a start that I could feel Shard's presence. I could feel _her_ missing from next to me.

Mother must have taken my start for an indication of some sort, because just before we entered the house she said to me, "we will talk about this Sharein. All of this. But not tonight, in the morning after I've thought through it all. We will talk."

"Yes Mother," I said contritely.

She helped me inside and helped me get changed and into bed.

Before she left, I felt he kiss me on the forehead and whisper, "I love you Sharein."

I closed my eyes and wondered at the complete lack of difference that made and thought, before I fell asleep, that all was right.


	54. Chapter 53

AUTHORS NOTES:

Slyksylva: Not _quite_ as requested, but I hope this will satisfy. Honestly, I was just going to write the first bit and post it as an interlude, but that would have probably annoyed everyone ;-)

Archer1eye: It should probably scare you. Don't mess with gods (real ones). Crack away, crack away :) **Chapter 53**

10th Day of Middle Spring 768 n.c

I woke, with no idea of how long I had been asleep, nor even if it was yet daybreak. Something had changed, nearby, something enough to wake me. My mattress was wrong, it was leaning back as if there were something pressing down behind me. I held my breath and tensed. Just before I could spring out of bed and yell, a hand wrapped over my mouth!

"It's me," a voice whispered in my ear.

"Shard?" I asked, my voice muffled by her hand as I relaxed at her familiar sound.

The hand was removed and I whispered, "what are you doing here? You gave me ever so much of a fright! I didn't know who it was."

"Couldn't you feel me?" Her voice whispered in my ear and I realised with a start, yes… I could feel her, just as I felt the loss of her presence as I left the forest.

"Not at the time," I returned, turning over and running my hand over her hip to her back. My nose touched something and I felt her breath on my lips. I ran my hand further up her back to her shoulder blade and up over her shoulder to cup her cheek. I gently moved forward to place a chaste kiss on her lips, "but I do now."

"As for why I'm here," she whispered, "I didn't want you spending your first night… well, any night, alone. Not now that I'm joined to you and you are joined to Tenebrae, to me."

"Do you even sleep?" I asked.

"I don't require it, but I can… mimic it, replicate it," she whispered back, "and right now, there is nothing more I would like to do than replicate sleep with you."

The warmth of love that spread through me then was comforting, relaxing and cherished.

We kissed again, briefly before I whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too," she returned and I rolled over onto the side I was most comfortable. She slipped her arm underneath my head and her other arm snaked over my torso. I grasped that hand in mine and brought it up to my chest, bending my neck to kiss her knuckles before returning them to between my breasts, close to my heart.

That is how I fell asleep again.

And then I woke up. I heard the rustling of my sister or sisters waking. Immediately I felt the loss of Shard's presence. My left hand remained where it was when I fell asleep, clutching nothing to my chest. I considered briefly that I had dreamed it, but I could smell her. I kept my eyes closed, hoping to return to sleep, I was still tired and exhausted physically and mentally from the previous night.

Then I heard a surprised, "huh?"

"What were you doing in my bed Kara?" I heard Illith ask, "you haven't done that for years."

"Well," Kara replied, "I woke up and saw Shard sleeping with Shar," she stopped and giggled then said quietly "Shard and Shar, Shar and Shard…"

"What are you talking about?" Illith asked Kara patiently.

"Well, Mother said that Shard was going to be our new sister and I thought that it wasn't fair that they could sleep together and we were left out."

"What do you mean Shard and Shar...ein were sleeping together?" Illith asked, "see, it's just Sharein asleep there."

"But Shard _was_ there," Kara insisted, "when I woke up, she _was_."

"Uh huh," Illith said, "come alone, it's just about sun rise and if we are both awake we may as well get ready and start on breakfast and our chores."

Kara grumbled a little and I heard some rustling of clothes that must have been them getting changed before footsteps went to the door and they left the room. Thankfully, I fell back asleep for a brief time.

I was woken again by gentle shaking, "Sharein, wake up," I heard Mother's voice.

"Good morning Mother," I slurred, still a bit tired.

"Well, I'm glad one of us got some sleep last night," she said quietly, "you slept the sleep of the guilty, while I worried all night."

"I'm sorry Mother," I apologised as I matched her volume, feeling immediately guilty.

"Thank you Sharein," she murmured, "and so you should be. So, do you have any plan on how you are going to explain this?"

"Ah," I paused, trying to muster my thoughts, "no. Not really. I just, sort of thought that I'd say that I didn't know how it happened."

"Of course you didn't have any plan," Mother muttered, then spoke very quickly and quietly, "it's a curse. Happens to the eldest born daughter of my mother's line, just lasts for a tenday, nothing to worry about. I never mentioned it because I had hoped that you wouldn't be afflicted by it, no point getting the priests involved as we know it will end rapidly. Understand?"

I nodded and then scrunched up my face in confusion, "but if you never mentioned it, then shouldn't I be a bit surprised that it's happening?"

"Exactly," whispered Mother, "I'll go back out into the kitchen, give me enough time to do that and then scream, scream as if you've just woken up and discovered this, I'll come back in and calm you down. Do you understand?"

I nodded again and I felt Mother kiss my forehead.

She left and I heard her footsteps recede into the kitchen. I tried to picture something that made me terrified in the past and all I could think of was the chicken, the zombie chicken. I tried to remember the horrible fear that I felt in that moment and let out a terrified shriek!

I heard something smash in the kitchen and the thumping of footsteps echoing through the house. It wasn't Mother who rushed in, but Jocam.

"Sharein! What's wrong?" he asked, panicked.

I turned my head towards his voice and I heard him gasp and the sound of the door being force back against the wall.

"Father!" He screamed, almost as terrified as I sounded.

Mother rushed in then, "Sharein! Sharein! What's wrong?"

"I…" I stuttered, "I can't see!"

She took me in her arms and brushed the back of my head and neck with her hand, "there there," she whispered to me, "it's all right, it's nothing to worry about."

For something that was entirely faked, Mother sounded exactly like she was comforting me. I supposed that she had had enough practice over the years actually comforting us girls that it was easy enough to summon at will.

"What's wrong? Aloise! What's wrong?" I heard Father's panicked voice.

"It's all right," Mother said louder and I heard Father gasp.

"By the Light!" He exclaimed.

"It's all right," Mother reassured him, "it looks bad and it sounds bad, but it's all right."

"Her eyes! What's wrong with her eyes?" He exclaimed, "has Celestine cursed her for her transgressions?"

"It _is_ a curse," Mother explained with a huff, "but it wasn't caused by Celestine. It happened to me when I was Sharein's age and it happened to my Mother. The eldest daughters, we've had it for as far back as we know. She'll be blind for a tenday, that's all. Then she'll be right as rain. It's nothing to worry about, nothing to worry about at all."

"It happened to you?" Father asked, "but why have you never said anything?"

"Because it's nothing important," Mother said, "I should have probably warned Sharein about it, but to be honest I had mostly forgotten about it and for the rest I have been hoping that it ended with me. One tenday and you'll be back to normal."

"Oh," Father said, sounding relieved, "should we not have Sister Tera look at her?"

"Priests tried everything when it happened to me," Mother said, "but nothing worked. Besides, it's only a tenday."

"But if it doesn't fix itself by then…" Father began and Mother finished, "then I'll take her to see Sister Tera."

Father and Jocam left, I presumed and Mother helped me to get dressed and go out to the outhouse. She then brought me inside to the kitchen table where she helped me to sit down. I then suffered through the experimentations of my siblings.

"Can you see this?"

"No."

"What about this?"

"No."

"What about this?"

"No."

Repeated until Mother became fed up with them and gave each one a different chore to do. Breakfast eventually began and Mother helped me to locate the bowl of porridge and spoon by guiding my hands to where they were. Once I had the bowl firmly in grasp and the spoon, I managed to get all of it. I had no idea if I had spilled any, of course, but I thought that I had managed it quite well. My cup, Mother had actually placed near the edge of the table such that all I had to do was raise my hand until I hit the edge and then feel along a finger tips length in until I found it.

'All in all,' I thought, 'quite successful.'

Mari had thankfully already walked into town, but I heard the gasp of Missus Meadowbroek and Mother's explanation. Everyone accepted the story well enough.

Until, that is, Mother helped me to Malkarov's Tower.

I heard Mother knock on the door before I realised that we had arrived and after a few moments the door opened.

Malkarov let out a shocked, "Sharein!"

"It's an old family curse," Mother immediately explained, "it will go away in a tenday, by itself. She's blind until then. I could keep her home if you'd prefer but.."

Malkarov finished for her, "no no, she's mine and I'll look after her. We can run through theory for a tenday, that will be no trouble."

I felt Mother embrace me and say, "you know where I am, if you need me."

Mother kissed me on the cheek, then I felt Malkarov gently take my arm.

"It's not the first time I've looked after a blind friend, to be honest. But the last time we had a priest on hand to heal it after not too long," he said and I heard the door close behind me as he escorted me into the comfort of one of the sitting room chairs, "so… Tell me about this curse."


	55. Chapter 54

AUTHORS NOTE:

Archer1eye: Like a level 20 rogue hmmmmm? I've started on character sheets, but I think I'd place Aloise only at level 8. A little bit out of practice. Thank you so much! I hope it kept you sufficiently distracted from the realities of work :)

Slyksylva: Whatever would give you that idea?

 **Chapter 54**

10th Day of Middle Spring 768 n.c

"Mother told me that it was a family curse, that it happens to the oldest daughter. She said that it happened to her and it happened to her mother and so on," I explained, "Mother said the priests looked at her when it happened to her, but that they couldn't do anything about it. It's only going to last a tenday, so it's nothing much to worry about."

"It definitely sounds like you're not worried about it," Malkarov said and then hummed loudly, "it's something that we can work around. I'll just change my plans for this tenday and make next tenday entirely practical."

Not for the first time that day, I wished that I could see his face. The myriad of clues that would show me that he believed me or not. I could only rely upon the sound of his voice, and at that moment my abilities in that regard were severely lacking.

We spent a short while in discussion to catch up on the day missed. Malkarov asked after my family and I asked Malkarov if he had caught up with the Mithrasian Priests as I had discovered he often did on a nineday. He had and they had a pleasant afternoon, discussing me… apparently.

"Father Mattias had an interesting theory actually," he said and I felt my heart leap into my throat, "and when I refused, begging that your secrets remain your secrets he relented," he added and I almost let out a sigh of relief until he added, "but after his second bottle he seemed to have forgotten my reluctance."

I sat still, listening to Malkarov's story and felt my body tense up.

"Of course, if he found out about your current condition then he would consider his theory proven," he added.

'Stupid body!' I admonished myself. I felt the intense desire to get up and run away, but as it all stood I would just likely run straight into a wall and knock myself out. No, I _had_ to stay there and listen, I had to try to defend.

"Despite the wonderful lie your Mother created, and it was a very good lie, enough to fool even Father Mattias if it were told by her mouth only," he paused for a moment and chuckled, "but from you my dear apprentice; no, not quite so believable."

I opened my mouth to defend the lie, but could think of nothing to say. I shut my mouth when Malkarov laughed out loud at my awkwardness.

"Would you like a hand?" I heard whispered behind me and felt Shard's comforting presence.

I jumped a little and spun around in the chair, pointlessly because I couldn't see her at all.

I flushed when Malkarov worriedly asked, "what is it?"

Shard laughed musically, "he can't see me, but you just gave me away anyway. Shall I make an appearance?"

"Please," I begged, trying to hide my face in my hands.

"Please what?" Malkarov asked, the sound of his chair scraping along the floor indicating that he may have stood up.

There was a gasp then and a cushioned thump, "who are you?" I heard Malkarov demand.

"You can call me Shard," she introduced herself as I felt her sit on the arm of my chair. I glided my hand up her back, leaving it resting there with my elbow resting on the arm rest.

"What are you?" Malkarov asked then.

"I'm a portion of a power, a power that Sharein has dedicated herself to. The blindness is part of the sacrifice she has made and will disappear in time," Shard explained.

"You dedicated yourself Sharein?" Malkarov asked and I nodded in response.

"Being an apprentice wizard wasn't challenging enough?" he asked.

"No," I said then corrected, "yes. It's… different. I didn't really think about my learning magic, it didn't really play a part in the decision."

"Will it interfere in your learning?" he asked.

"Not after this tenday," Shard answered for me, "I don't foresee any conflict."

"So, Father Mattias' theory was correct?" he asked.

"It would depend on what Father Mattias theorised, but if it involves She Who Hides All then the answer might be yes," Shard replied.

"She Who Hides All?" Malkarov asked, sounding confused, but quickly worked his way through, "Darkness… Tenebrae. Sharein dedicated herself to Tenebrae? You are a portion of Tenebrae's power?"

Shar answered, "yes and yes."

"You don't do things by halves, do you Sharein?" Malkarov said.

"No?" I said, smiling towards him, relieved that he didn't sound afraid or angry.

"Did you consider the ramifications, the consequences of this?" Malkarov asked.

I hid behind Shard and was reminded by Mother's comments first thing that morning, "No, not exactly."

He abruptly laughed and I recoiled a little in surprise.

"You're…" he managed to wheeze between laughter, "you're... in _sooooooooo_ much trouble when Alladrial finds out!"

"What?" I almost screamed, suddenly afraid at the elf's potential reaction, "why?"

"Because he's _always_ yelling at me for not thinking things through before I do them!" Malkarov laughed, "I can't even _begin_ to think of what he's going to say about this!"

I felt movement and Shard's voice whispered in my ear, "I think you're safe now. Will you be all right on your own for a bit?"

I nodded cautiously, now that Shard had revealed herself I had hoped that she would not ever leave my side again. It was a momentary fancy that raised itself once she had shown herself to Malkarov. I felt a little disappointed that she had to go.

"Duty calls," she said louder, "and I must go. I hope you shall permit my return, Wizard Malkarov, with the promise that I shall endeavour not to distract Sharein during her lessons."

"That's… fine?" Malkarov said, not sounding entirely sure.

"Goodbye for now, my love," she said and I felt lips on mine.

A searing kiss, entirely inappropriate for the situation when her tongue sneaked through my lips, ever so briefly. My hands had found them wrapped about her neck as her hands had done likewise to me. When the kiss broke, she let go of me and I, very reluctantly, let go of her. I heard a quick step and then her presence was gone.

I waited for Malkarov to say something, but he didn't, at all. I waited for an exceedingly long time, but the silence that stretched between us just kept going on and on. Uncomfortably so. On a few occasions I considered breaking it myself, but then through 'what would I say', and so closed my mouth again. I wondered if Malkarov was doing likewise. After what seemed an eternity, I finally gathered enough presence of mind to form words.

"So," I said, extremely articulately considering the circumstances, "that's Shard. We're engaged. I don't exactly know how we're going to find a priest to marry us, but maybe I'll be able to do it myself now?"

He didn't say anything. I started to worry.

"Malkarov?" I asked... and waited.

I started to consider that perhaps he had fainted and weighed up whether or not I should work my way towards him.

"Eh… huh?" I heard a groggy sounding reply.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Perfectly, fine," he replied, but didn't at all sound fine.

"Did you hear what I said?" I asked, wondering about his worrying silence. Malkarov often spoke like he loved hearing the sound of his own voice and yet now he was silent. It did make me worry.

"Could you," he said, "perhaps give me a few moments?"

"Of course," I replied.

I stood up carefully and made my way very slowly towards the steps, reaching out with my hands in front of me to ensure that I didn't bump into anything. I successfully made it to the bottom of the stairs when my foot kicked something. Thankfully I didn't trip over it. Feeling down at my feet, I recognised my backpack. I put it over my shoulders (once I figured out the straps) and made my way up the stairs. I was thankful for it. Unpacking my backpack would give something to do other than use the in house, which I was beginning to need.

I made it up the steps surprisingly easily and into my room. I found the bed easily enough and left my backpack on it. Finding the inhouse was a little more difficult, but manageable. I had just finished my business there when there came an almighty shout from down below that carried up the stairs.

"You can't marry a God Sharein! What are you thinking!"

I was happy that Malkarov had apparently rediscovered his awareness, not so much the topic he had focussed on. Ignoring my backpack for the moment, I made my way back to the door and slowly back downstairs. I stopped once I reached the floor and 'looked around'. Nothing. I cleared my throat.

"Oh," Malkarov started, "I'm sorry, I'm here."

I nodded, it would be embarrassing to talk to an empty room. The direction that his voice came from also indicated that he was still near his chair, so that was the direction I faced.

"I was thinking," I began, quite sternly, "that I love her. And she loves me. We love each other and getting married is what you do when you love each other. And…. Who says I can't marry a God?" A little less sternly I continued, correcting, "besides, she's not really, technically, actually a god. Just a part of one."

Malkarov scoffed, "technically? Gods are infinite beings! If you break a part off one, you don't have an infinite being and a part, you have two infinite beings!"

"Who said they are infinite beings?" I asked.

"Father Mattias used to keep going on about it, it says so in The Book," Malkarov responded.

"The Book?" I scoffed, then argued "the one that we already know has errors? It couldn't be that some High Priest just wanted to make Mithras or Celestine sound grander than they are? What is an infinite being anyway?"

Malkarov didn't say anything, so I just continued, "how about I ask Shard when she returns? Surely she'd know if she was an infinite being?"

Malkarov only groaned.

"Would you like some more moments?" I asked sweetly and was rewarded with an affirmative grunt.

I made my way back up to my room to sort out my pack, trying to memorise where I had placed each item in relations to the others. I was quite happy with the results and hoped that I would be able to remember come morning.

The rest of the conversations with Malkarov were spent completely ignoring anything about Shard. I even tried mentioning her name and he just ignored me and kept talking about something else. He seemed very thankful when our meals arrived as an excuse not to converse. After lunch, he must have realised that I wouldn't really have anything to do. Normally on a tenday, I'd spend most of the day reading. He took pity on me and directed me to my chair. Right through to dinner, he read to me. It was different but rather pleasant.

After dinner, he helped me to my room before returning upstairs to finish washing up.

I felt like a bath before bed, the grime of even one day without almost felt unsettling on me. I could squeeze in a bath before bed.

'Shard?' I thought mentally and immediately felt the comforting feeling of her presence next to me.

"My love," she said quietly as she hugged me from behind.

"My love," I returned, taking one of her hands that was around my waist in my own, "have you ever had a bath?"

We managed quite successfully to pour the bath and having Shard help me to get undressed sent tingles right down my spine. She slipped into the water first, then directed me to get in and lean back against her. She wrapped her arms around me, caressing me. I leaned back to kiss her as I felt her hand roaming over me in the warmth.

We didn't even realise when the water started to get cold.


	56. Chapter 55

AUTHORS NOTE:

In case anyone is curious, the person that I kind of picture as Sharein is a bit like Alison Lohman (especially when she was on the red carpet for Flicka). Shard would be a close match to someone like a longer haired Lara McDonnell dressed like a goth bride. Sharein would be a couple of inches shorter than Alison though as Shard stands an inch of two taller than Sharein.

Warning… so so much fluff in this chapter.

Slyksylva: I don't want Malkarov to be too predictable just yet, I'd like him to be a bit more complex than that :) He still has many more surprises ;)

Archer1eye: Poor Malkarov. Alladrial will NOT be amused and Malkarov will be in for a shock if he thinks that ALL of the attention will be on Sharein! There will be many many things happening before (if they even do) the Inquisition of Light become involved ;)

Havok22: Thank you so much! That is high praise indeed and much to be desired by me, it encourages further writing and inflates my ego in a very desirous way ;-)

 **Chapter 55**

10th - 11th Day of Middle Spring 768 n.c

We dried and went to bed, with a small wave of her hand a nightgown just magically appeared on Shard.

"How do you do that?" I asked Shard.

"It's magic, the magic that flows through me also flows through you," she explained as we cuddled together under the covers, "the only difference is that there is no filter required for me to use it. Everything around us conforms to certain rules. If you drop something, it falls to the ground because there are rules dictating what happens. Magic is… fluid. When magic becomes static it forms these rules, but we can direct magic to change what happens around us, to avoid or ignore these rules. Humans aren't invisible, as a rule. When you cast an _invisibility_ spell you are using the chaos of magic to avoid that rule. You take the chaos magic and force it through the filter of _that_ spell. Without the filter of that spell anything at all might happen to you. Wizardly magic is the creation of new rules to force the chaos of magic to ignore the bigger rules to change things. They use components as an… insulation, as a buffer, to prevent magic destroying their bodies. Human bodies aren't… strong enough to channel magic purely. I have a filter as well, but my filter is much more… chaotic in nature. I enforce what I want magic to do through my will. The powers grant spells to priests in a similar way to Wizardly magic, except the priests do it through prayer and the powers channel the magic on their behalf."

"So priests don't have to use components to cast spells," I asked to clarify, "and wizards do?"

"Priests use components to streamline the spell granting process, but they don't _sacrifice_ their components, unless the power wishes it," Shard clarified.

"Then," I asked slowly, "why don't I have to use components?"

"I can't tell you because I don't… know," Shard replied slowly, "I knew that magic wouldn't harm you like that before you even told me. There's something… special about you in that way. It was something that I asked Tenebrae about, but she wouldn't say and I have no idea whether that is because she does or doesn't know. She does like her secrets. I had actually wondered whether she had been paying special attention to you and was intervening… but she laughed at that notion. Your body is more… resistant to the chaos of magic than a normal human's maybe? If magic were sentient, I'd simply say that magic really really likes you. Maybe all of the magic comes from The Creator and maybe the Creator likes you? I just don't know."

"I'm a mystery then?" I asked hopefully.

"You are my love, you very much are," Shard said, kissing my face all over with short little pecks, "maybe that's why Tenebrae is so interested in you?"

I lay back and thought about all she had told me, she didn't push or pressure me but instead hugged my side and I reached around to hug her to me as tightly as I could while I thought. It all made sense, everything she said. I was definitely an anomaly when it came to every other wizard. I did not know what the implications of this were for me, but it was obviously something to worry about later, rather than then. One of Shard's legs raised up to rest over mine. In doing so she pushed up my nightgown and her nightgown rose up so that our naked thighs rubbed against each other. I reached my left hand down and absentmindedly rubbed it along the back of her leg, from the crook of her knee to the top of her thigh. I'd done that a few times before my fingertips brushed something that made Shard gasp and let out a moan. That was enough to bring me out of my reverie and concentrate on more immediate matters.

Quite a while later, lying there arm in arm and very sweaty but before we fell asleep, Shard spoke up, "At the middle point of the night, my love, Tenebrae will begin instructing you. Normally her instructions are spread out along the entire year of sacrifice, but for you it will be condensed into the tenday."

"In my dreams?" I asked.

"Sort of, there may be some pain that might wake you up, due to the vast amount of knowledge she has to pass along. She's never done it like this before, but I needed to warn you just in case," she explained.

"I shall look forward to it," I said, and leaned forward to kiss her, intending to aim for her mouth but kissing the end of her nose instead.

The blackness of waking fell into the blackness of sleep without little obvious change aside from the lack of touch sensation and the loss of Shard's comforting presence. Out of the blackness formed an impression of something darker than even the blackest black. How, my mind could not fathom. The blacker black formed shapes that spun and oozed together until the blacker black formed shadows of a face. A feminine face.

"Tenebrae?" I asked in my dream and the face grew a smile.

"My daughter of darkness," the words echoed around the empty space, "you may call me Mother, if you wish, the concept would be pleasing to me."

"Mother Darkness?" I offered and she smiled even wider.

"Oh," she sounded surprised, "I _like_ that. You _are_ a wonder my dear, I almost regret not choosing someone sooner. Now then… It's time for your instruction."

I prepared myself, not knowing what exactly I was preparing myself for.

The face smiled again and offered a warning, "this may… pinch."

The pain I felt in my dream was nothing to the pain I felt when I woke up, the dream pain was like a shadow, like it was a memory of pain. I knew the _exact_ moment that I woke up, because the pain became so much more real. Although I was awake, I could not move, I was paralyzed, lying there in bed next to Shard who must have known what was happening because she was holding me tight and caressing my cheek. I could open my eyes, for all the good it did me, my eyes were the only thing that I had conscious control over. The pain went on forever, a pain that ran all over and through my body as if every smallest part of me were on fire, as if I were being dipped into molten metal. It was such a horrific pain that even my consciousness could not retreat from it, for it was not truly pain in my body, it was pain all through me. If I could in fact move, I had not a doubt that I would be writhing in agony and crying out until I was hoarse and had no breath left to scream. I was forbidden that, by the frozen state of my body. If the most pain I had ever felt before was my dedication to Tenebrae, it was like a pin prick compared to this.

"Sharein, my love," were the words that brought me out, once the pain had stopped and only echoes remained. I could not say how many times she had said it before that moment, but It would not have surprised me that it had been going on all night. With the awareness of the outside world, of a world without such dreadful pain came an awareness of what Tenebrae had left behind.

I understood. I understood _exactly_ what Tenebrae was. She _was_ Darkness. She was emptiness, darkness, things hidden away and unseen, she was fear, she was death. I had previously thought that to cause any of these things to be would have been considered as evil acts. To cause fear in someone wasn't nice, to keep secrets wasn't nice and death was definitely evil. But I understood just then, I understood that there was no evil or good. There just _was_. All of these things that were considered bad, wrong or evil were necessary. If nothing died, then Mithras would become overpopulated, if there were no fear then there would be no trigger to prevent death. Secrets were just secrets (Mother especially seemed to have a lot of them). When Shard explained to me that darkness wasn't evil, I did believe her, but I didn't _know_ as I did in that moment. I understood, partially, at least that Tenebrae _was_ a power, that she _was_ darkness just as much as she represented darkness. I understood _so, so_ much about how things _worked_. Shard's explanations fit in perfectly with this newly acquired understanding but it extended even further. It wasn't just a third party understanding, I didn't know how to explain it but I _knew_ what it felt like… what it felt like to _be_ Tenebrae.

Tenebrae had not just given me this basic knowledge, I also knew how to call on her, how to request her intervention. How to open myself up to the magic channelled through her by my prayers. I _understood_ the language of the prayers! I understood the requests that I was calling out when I dedicated myself, when I anchored Shard to me and when I made the oath to Shard. I even understood the prayer that Sister Terra made when communing with Mithras! (Although the accent was slightly different).

With all this knowledge I also _knew_ that there was more, much more to learn over the next eight nights.

"Sharein, my love," Shard repeated, quietly, gently.

I turned my head towards hers and she kissed me gently. I rolled onto my side, facing her to return the kiss.

"I don't have much experience," she whispered once we broke, "but that looked to be a bit more than only a little bit of pain."

"It was worse than the dedication," I returned, "but it's over for now and now that I am prepared and know the rewards, I shan't be surprised by the rest of them. Although I confess, I am most definitely not looking forward to them at all."

"Oh my dearest love," Shar whispered before kissing me again.

She didn't come close, but Shard's attempts to balance out the pain were, I believe, essential in allowing me to get back to sleep.


	57. Chapter 56

AUTHORS NOTE:

Archer1eye - Yup, I've worked every day this week and have managed to fill in my off time with something more productive :) You'll have to wait and see, most of the tenday will go through in one chapter. Ah! As to names, the pronunciation is Shar-ain (ain as in rain) :)

 **Chapter 56**

11th Day of Middle Spring 768 n.c

I woke the next day exhausted and a bit sore. I also awoke to possibly the cutest sound I had ever heard. I was lying on my back, with a dead weight cuddled up against my side and on my shoulder. Without any idea of it being still night or, in fact morning, I lay there for a few moments trying to pick up sounds around me. That's when I heard it. The cutest little snores coming from the most adorable person resting upon me. I smiled to myself as a huge wave of euphoria welled up inside me.

' _This_ ,' I thought to myself, 'this is happiness.'

I lay there for quite a while, enjoying the feel, enjoying the sounds, enjoying the comforting presence. I began to hear birds chirping just as the need to rise made itself known in my abdomen. Slowly, I began to slide my arm out from underneath Shard's head and shift my body backwards on the mattress. I knew that I had awakened her when her adorable snores finished abruptly.

"I'm sorry love," I whispered, "I need to get up."

"Alright," she said brightly, "would you like a hand?"

"A hand getting to the inhouse?" I asked, "I'll be all right with the rest myself."

"Oh?" Shard said curiously, "of course."

"You know," I said to her as she assisted me across the room, "you sound far too cheerful for so early in the morning."

"Oh?" She repeated, "I can try to sound more… ummm… tired? Just woken?"

"No no," I replied, with a smile and a slight hip bump, "I'm not complaining exactly, I love you just as you are."

Shard let out an adorable, "awwwwwwww," and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I did my business and once finished told Shard, "I'd like to try getting dressed on my own, if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't mind my love," she replied, "but I'll be here if you need me."

I made my way over to the bed quite easily, it was exactly where I thought it was. Taking off my nightgown was simple and I managed to fold it and place it on the right corner of the bed, ready for later. I had no idea whether the fold was neat or not, but I couldn't see it so it didn't really worry me. I found my shirt exactly where I had left it and managed to get into it without too much trouble, but for the life of me I couldn't find my trousers.

"Shard," I said quietly, "my trousers aren't where I left them."

"No, they definitely aren't," she replied with a giggle.

"Did you move them?" I accused.

"Perhaps it was me, perhaps it was you," she replied cryptically, "I couldn't be sure."

I frowned, "what do you mean? I'd know if I'd moved them," I wasn't frustrated too much, but more confused.

"It appears," she began, "that one of us _may_ have kicked them off the bed last night, for they are quite some distance away."

We both broke up with laughter, me beginning and her continuing.

She fetched my trousers for me once we had calmed down and I finished getting dressed, brushing my hair and tying it in a bow in a mostly satisfactory manner. There was one lock of hair that I missed that would prove to irritate me all day, but not significantly enough that I'd re-do my hair.

Once getting ready was all done, I turned to Shard and asked "would you like to help me make breakfast?"

"Could I?" she asked, all eagerness.

"Of course my love," I told her, "I can't very well do it myself, but I should think that Malkarov might be pleasantly surprised if breakfast were prepared for him."

It was an… interesting experience. Shard had no knowledge about cooking and her experience with food extended only as far as the dinner she ate with my family. For someone who seemed to have knowledge about the most esoteric of things, everyday experiences were all brand new. She took to it with an unquenchable curiosity and enthusiasm. I had considered making something simple to begin with, but thought that with my "overseeing" we should be able to manage something harder. When Shard described the things hanging up in the pantry and stored in the cold cupboard, I knew what I desired. So I had decided on a fried breakfast. Mushrooms, eggs, bacon, sausages, fried bread _and_ potato cakes were all prepared and ready to go.

"I wonder if Alladrial is here?" I asked, "there will be plenty of food and should be enough for him."

"Would you like me to see?" Shard asked.

"No," I said, "better not to, I'll just assume that he's here."

"Why not try _detect animals_?" she asked.

"What?" I said, stopping what I was doing. Her suggestion raised something hidden down the back of my mind.

"You should know how to pray for it, but nothing about it. She hasn't given that part over yet," Shard explained, speaking very quickly, "it's almost like you have part of a book inside your head, but the contents table is missing, or that index thing at the back I suppose. Let me in?"

'Let her in?' I thought to myself in confusion and suddenly I felt a warm and comfortable pressure in my mind. If my mind were a library, Tenebrae had during the night delivered box upon box of books but just left them on the floor. It felt like Shard was whizzing around, lifting each book to look at it's spine before putting it back down again and moving onto the next. Finally after about fifty odd 'books' I _felt_ her mental exclamation of triumph and I suddenly _understood_. _Detect Animals_ would provide information to me gradually about a particular animal. First of all _if_ there were any nearby, secondly how many and finally the location of each one. I knew the words to speak to begin the communication between Tenebrae and myself.

"Do you understand?" Shard asked.

I nodded to her and spoke the words of the prayer. Rather than the magic welling up in me, I felt it coalesce all around me in response to the words. I _felt_ the connection to the Mother of Darkness. When I finished, the magic shrunk and rushed into me and I concentrated on _elves_. I felt the pulse of magic in response, letting me know that there was an elf nearby. I did not need to keep the prayer going for that by itself was enough confirmation.

Shard clapped excitedly nearby and almost knocked me off my feet when she embraced me and kissed me on my cheek.

We continued preparing breakfast for four and I was immensely pleased, both in myself and Shard, when we were able to ring the bells.

Shard helped me sit down in my seat and I pointed towards the seats that Alladrial and Malkarov had claimed.

"Good morning Sharein and Shard!" I heard Malkarov exclaim after a few moments, "I had _no_ idea you were here!"

He said it in an extremely sarcastic way and I frowned towards him.

"Breakfast!" He exclaimed suddenly and I was distracted by such a sudden diversion.

"Shard prepared it," I said proudly, "with only a little bit of direction."

Malkarov suddenly said, "I am putting my blower on the back burner and shall begin working on some sort of enchantment to damper sounds through a door… or two doors."

I had forgotten about that! I blushed in complete and utter embarrassment and considered briefly that it was completely unfair that Shard on the other hand most likely would not be. It would surprise me if she would even be capable of it.

"Thank you so much Shard and Sharein," he said, "it looks delicious!"

"You're welcome," Shard said, "it's the…"

She was interrupted by an invocation from the stairway, " _Kalaa'alarana sinasin, hirestilia ama_."

I heard Shard make a sound I hadn't heard before, it almost sounded like… pain.

"Shard?" I asked, "are you alright?"

She took my hand and I relaxed a little, "I'm alright, I just wasn't ready for it."

"Alladrial!" Malkarov said crossly.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Alladrial exclaimed.

"It's nothing," Shard said next to me, "just a surprise. Invoking an aspect of Luna at me causes a small amount of discomfort."

"Sit, sit!" Malkarov shouted, "eat. Look at what Shard and Sharein have prepared for us!"

I heard a chair scrape and it sounded like it was Malkarov sitting down.

I cleared my throat, "Alladrial?" I called.

Another chair scraped and I heard the elf respond, "yes?"

"May I have the pleasure of introducing you to Shard," I said as formally as I could imagine, "we're engaged to marry."

"It's… a pleasure," Alladrial said, sounding a little unsure.

"It's entirely mine," Shard responded.

A chair scraped again and I heard Malkarov whisper, " _well?"_

"Well what _Allavaer_? It's time to enjoy this wonderful breakfast, not time for such discussions," Alladrial said, then added ominously, " _that_ can come later."

I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach until, that is, Shard squeezed my hand. Then the feeling disappeared as if it had never been.

Despite my desire for such a delicious breakfast (and it indeed was) and despite my confidence in Shard's cooking abilities (confirmed to be well placed), I had completely underestimated my abilities to actually _eat_ the food. I almost banged my face flat onto the table when I realised my mistake (although my face would definitely have ended up with various pieces of food all over it). How was I to accurately put my fork into food, or cut it? What a mistake to make.

Shard had already made cute little humming noises with each mouthful (I assumed) before said, "Sharein, is it not any good?"

"I'm sure it is my love, but I can't see to eat it," I explained.

Malkarov started laughing hysterically and I tried to glare at him as best I could. There was a thud and an exclamation of "ow!" before the laughter actually ended. Shard patted my hand in comfort. I felt her take the cutlery out of my hands and heard the scratching noise of a knife against the plate before I felt a slight pressure on my lips. I opened my mouth and Shard extended into my mouth a forkful of sausage and potato cake. I tried to smile and express my gratitude with my eyes but for some reason Malkarov just began laughing again.

Breakfast extended much longer than it usually did, with Shard taking turns between feeding me and feeding herself. I appreciated her help so much, but felt a bit helpless that I required it.

At the end of breakfast Alladrial asked, "did Malkarov mention his ideas for a silence enchantment?"

I blushed all over once more and he laughed lightly.

"What's wrong my love?" Shard asked with a great deal of concern, which in turn caused Malkarov to laugh again.

"It's embarrassing," I whispered back to her.

"What's embarrassing?" She asked and managed to sound very confused.

"They both heard what we were doing last night, together, loudly," I explained in whisper.

"Three times," came the whispered voice of Malkarov from right behind my ear, which caused me to jump in surprise.

"Three times?" Shard said with confusion.

I tried to force my brain to work and opened my mouth a couple of times without success.

"Oh!" Shard exclaimed and I looked towards her in shock, begging her to stop, "they probably didn't hear the second, third or fifth times."

I wanted to bang my head on the table once again. Twice now and morning wasn't even over!


End file.
